If I Can't Love Her
by JennJ
Summary: This takes place a few months after 'Dead Things' Spike and Buffy are still going at it with only Tara knowing. She wants to help Buffy so she casts a spell with unexpected consequences. Please Reveiew! Please
1. Default Chapter

1 This starts a few months after 'Dead Things'. Buffy and Spike are still going at it but only Tara knows. Tara wants to help Buffy so she casts a spell but results lead to unexpected consequences for all involved.  
  
2  
  
3 Chapter One: Sick  
  
"You look terrible," Dawn told Buffy, as she came into the kitchen. She was dressed in her Doublemeat Palace uniform, looking ready to go to work but she was pale and had dark circles under her eyes. "Vampires keep you up all night?"  
  
"You have no idea," Buffy said, sitting down. She had gone patrolling after work and like always she had run into Spike. After slaying their quota of vamps and demons for the evening they'd gone back to his crypt where they'd, as Spike had put it, 'shagged their brains out'. She finally dragged herself home just before dawn and then collapsed into bed. Normally a few hours of sleep would be enough but this morning it wasn't. She was just as exhausted as if she hadn't slept at all plus she wasn't feeling well.  
  
"Dawn's right," Willow said, concerned. "Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said. "I just got in really late last night." Both Dawn and Willow looked skeptical. Late hours had never bothered Buffy before. Buffy looked at her sister and friend and knew that neither of them believed her. She didn't even believe herself but there was nothing she could do. Missing work wasn't an option so it was a simple case of mind over matter, "Really, I'm fine. I'll see you guys tonight." Then she turned and hurried out the door.  
  
At work things were no better, it was a slow morning but then in the afternoon a school bus filled with teenagers on their way to a basketball game stopped for a meal. Before Buffy realized what was happening she was caught up in filling orders and making burgers for dozens of high school students. The entire time she kept repeating under her breath, "I slay vampires in my spare time and I've died twice. I can serve a few burgers." The pep talk didn't help though. Buffy still was so tired she couldn't see straight and just the smell of the burgers was making her stomach churn. Finally one of the managers noticed her pale face.  
  
"Buffy, go home," He snapped. "You're not helping by business by looking like you're about to be sick on people's food."  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy insisted.  
  
"Look," He said, changing his tone. "If you're sick then you can't work with food. So why don't you go home and get some rest."  
  
Buffy sighed, "Fine." She turned and walked out the door, secretly relieved. She knew that if she tried to work the rest of her shift she was going to collapse. She started to walk home but then stopped. She didn't want to go home. Dawn was still in school and Willow had classes so the house would be empty and Buffy didn't want to go home to an empty house. So she headed towards a place where she knew someone would be.  
  
Spike's crypt was dark as usual. She looked around, wondering where he was. Then she saw that the TV was on and he was watching it. He looked up when he heard her enter.  
  
"Buffy?" Spike said, grinning. "Back for more?" He stood up and leaned down to kiss her but she pushed him away.  
  
"Spike, please," Buffy said. "I'm not here for……" Her voice trailed off. "I just didn't want to go home to an empty house."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "'Fraid I don't have much for entertainment, just the telly but I've got all the blood you want."  
  
"Ew," Buffy said. "You're disgusting."  
  
"That's not what you said last night, luv," Spike told her.  
  
"Can you stop, please," Buffy said, sitting down on a chair. "I'm not in the mood for this."  
  
Spike noticed her pale face for the first time and said, concerned, "What's wrong, pet? You look as pale as I am."  
  
"I think it's just a touch of the flu," Buffy said. "But they sent me home from work."  
  
"Good," Spike said. "Looking at that food day in and day out would make anyone sick. So ah why are you here?"  
  
"I didn't want to be alone," Buffy said. "I just keep thinking about how if my mom was alive and if I'd come home sick. She would have made me tea in bed and then brought me soup and we would have watched TV together."  
  
"Sounds nice," Spike said.  
  
"It was," Buffy said.  
  
They were quiet for a minute and then Spike said, "Do you want to sleep here for awhile? Might as well use the bed for its original purpose."  
  
"Sure," Buffy said. "That would be nice." She jumped down below to the lower part of Spike's crypt and crawled into bed. It was strange to be in Spike's bed just to sleep. She had only been in Spike's bed a few times, most of the time they were usually on the floor, up against the wall, and any other place they fancied. She shut her eyes, enjoying the just being able to relax and not worry about anything, if only for a little while. She soon drifted off to sleep.  
  
Spike waited until he was sure that she was asleep and then he climbed down and joined her in bed. Being careful not to wake her he lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms. He just watched her sleep, enjoying the luxury of being able to. Usually after they'd had sex she would rush right the door. Only a few times she'd actually fallen asleep right afterwards. He reached over and brushed her hair back from her face, noticing with concern how pale she was. She was working too hard, combined with slaying and worrying about the Nibblit. He wanted to help her but she wouldn't let him. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and continued watching her and enjoying the time, however brief, that he was getting to spend with her. 


	2. Caught

Chapter Two: Caught  
  
"No," Xander said. "Absolutely not."  
  
"Why not?" Anya asked. "It makes perfect sense."  
  
"No," Xander snapped. "It makes no sense."  
  
"Look, we need an extra usher since your cousin can't make it and all our male friends and family are already in the wedding, so he's our most logical choice," Anya said.  
  
"No, he's not," Xander said. He looked at the list in front of him. "Okay, so we don't have a lot of choices but anything's got to be better than Spike. I mean….it's Spike."  
  
"Yeah but he knows us better than most of your family does."  
  
"Right and I don't like any of them but I'd rather have them in the wedding than Spike. It's bad enough he's coming."  
  
"Well it would have been rude not to invite him," Anya pointed out.  
  
"And Spike's so polite," Xander said sarcastically. He pointed to a name on the list. "How about him?"  
  
"No," Anya told him. "I am not having a chaos demon in my wedding."  
  
"Why not?" Xander asked. He wasn't thrilled about having a demon in the wedding either but anyone was better than Spike.  
  
"Have you ever seen a chaos demon?" Anya asked. She pulled out a book and showed him a picture, "See, they're all slime and antlers. I am not getting slime all over my dress. So go and ask Spike if he'll be an usher." Xander hesitated so Anya pulled her trump card, "Ask him or no sex until the wedding."  
  
"You wouldn't," Xander said.  
  
"Try me," Anya said. "I want this wedding to be perfect and it's not going to be perfect if we don't have an even number of bridesmaids and ushers. Now we can pair him with Dawn…."  
  
Xander sighed. He wasn't going to win this and he might as well ask Spike. Anya was right. There really wasn't anyone else.  
  
Xander walked towards Spike's crypt wondering how he was going to ask him to be in the wedding, 'Spike, you know how I've always hated you? Well I was wondering if you wanted to be an usher at my wedding?' Nah, that wasn't right. How about, 'Spike, want to be in my wedding? I'll pay you.' No, while it might work it sounded really pathetic. 'Spike, since I'm going to have to be miserable in a monkey suit there's no one I'd rather have just as miserable than you, want to be an usher?'  
  
Xander opened the door to Spike crypt and made his way inside. The TV was on but Spike wasn't anywhere in sight. Xander looked around and saw that the door to the lower levels of Spike's crypt was open. 'Spike must be down there,' Xander thought. He just hoped that he wasn't going to get a repeat of what he'd seen last time he'd been in Spike's crypt. The sight of a naked Spike doing 'pushups' in bed had been enough to freak him out for weeks.  
  
He cautiously looked down below, not wanting to interrupt Spike if he was busy 'exercising'. He saw Spike and then he noticed who was next to him.  
  
"Hey," Spike said, unaware of Xander presence. He just noticed Buffy opening her eyes. "How're you feeling?"  
  
"Better," Buffy said, sleepily. "I think that nap helped."  
  
"I guess I wore you out last night," Spike said, smirking.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself," Buffy said. "I think it's just a 24-hour virus. Hey, what are you doing?" She asked as Spike leaned over and kissed her neck.  
  
"If you haven't figured it out by now then I've been doing something wrong," He said, moving up towards her ear.  
  
"Spike, no," Buffy said, pushing him away. "I think I have the flu."  
  
"Well that's the good part," Spike said, leaning down again. "You can't make me sick so you have nothing to worry about. Besides this might help you feel better."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Distraction," Spike said, and before Buffy could protest he leaned over and kissed her. Xander watched in horror as she kissed him back. He quickly stood up and hurried out of the crypt, gasping as he tried to figure out what he had just seen. Buffy was in bed and kissing Spike. What was going on? There had to be a logical explanation. Wait a minute! There was no logical explanation! Buffy was kissing Spike.  
  
Xander ran as fast as he could to Buffy's house. Maybe Dawn or Willow would have some kind of explanation. Then he remembered Willow's 'my will be done' spell that had made Buffy and Spike think that they were getting married. Maybe Willow had had a slip and cast another spell.  
  
He burst through the door. Dawn and Willow looked up, startled. Anya and Tara were there too.  
  
"Oh good," Anya said. "You're back. How did it go? Did Spike agree to be in the wedding?"  
  
"Huh?" Xander stammered. "Wedding? What?"  
  
"Hello? You did ask Spike if he'd been an usher, right?"  
  
"I uh uh," Xander said, trying to get the words out.  
  
"What's with him?" Buffy asked, coming into the house behind Xander.  
  
"Buffy! You're…you're….Buffy!" Xander said, shocked at the sight of her standing right there when a few minutes ago he'd seen her in Spike's bed.  
  
"That's right," Buffy said, confused. "I'm Buffy and you're Xander."  
  
"No, I mean um…"  
  
"No," Anya said standing up. "No, you are not going to ruin my wedding by losing your mind. So don't think going insane is going to stop our getting married."  
  
"I'm not the one who's crazy," Xander said. "She is," Xander pointed to Willow. "Or she is," He pointed to Buffy.  
  
"Hey," Buffy protested. This was not what she had expected to find when she got home. She had wanted to get home and spend some time with Dawn so she'd promised Spike that she'd come back later that night if she felt up to it.  
  
"Xander, what's going on?" Willow asked.  
  
Xander lowered his voice and tried to speak calmly, "Willow, we know you've been going through a rough time right now and we understand it's hard to give up an addiction. So no one's blaming you."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Willow asked, hurt. "I haven't had a slip."  
  
"You haven't?" Xander asked. "Then how….why…"  
  
"Xander, finish a sentence and tell us what's going on?" Buffy asked.  
  
Xander looked at Buffy, carefully. She didn't look like anyone who had just spent the day in bed with a vampire. Then another thought occurred to him. "If Willow didn't slip and I know you haven't lost your mind then…."  
  
"What?" Buffy said, starting to lose her patience. She should have stayed with Spike. She may loathe herself for sleeping with him but when she was in his arms, things were certainly less complicated.  
  
"I think Spike either repaired the bot or had another one built," Xander said. 


	3. Another Bot?

Chapter Three: Another Bot  
  
Dawn finally broke the stunned silence, "What?"  
  
"What makes you think that?" Buffy asked, nervously.  
  
"I went to Spike's crypt this afternoon," Xander began.  
  
"That's right," Anya interrupted. "Did you ask him about being an usher?"  
  
"Spike's going to be in the wedding?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Xander's cousin canceled," Anya explained. "So it was either Spike or a chaos demon."  
  
"Oh, I've seen pictures of them," Dawn said. "They're disgusting."  
  
"Can we get back to what I saw this afternoon," Xander said.  
  
"Fine," Anya said. "What makes you think that Spike has another bot?"  
  
"I saw them," Xander said. "And it was even stranger than the first one."  
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, carefully.  
  
"Well his first bot was mainly just, 'yes Spike, no Spike, let's have sex, Spike'. This one he was actually having a conversation with him. It was really weird too. I mean, he was acting like the bot was sick and he had to take care of her."  
  
"Are you sure that's what you saw?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure," Xander said. "So can we go and stake him?"  
  
"No," Dawn said. "I mean that's really gross if that's what he did but we can't stake him, especially if we don't know what's going on."  
  
"I'll talk to him," Buffy said.  
  
"If you want him staked then I'll do it," Xander said. "I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life from the trauma of seeing Spike making out with another robot."  
  
"Hey," Buffy said, insulted.  
  
"But why would he build another robot?" Willow asked. "I thought he learned his lesson last time and when you were gone he couldn't stand to be around the bot."  
  
"I'll find out what's going on," Buffy said. "This could just be a misunderstanding."  
  
"I saw Spike in bed with something that looked just like you," Xander said. "How could I misunderstand that?"  
  
"You might have," Buffy said. "I'll go talk to him when I patrol tonight." Her tone told them not to press her anymore so the conversation drifted to other things. 


	4. Spells

Chapter Four: Spells  
  
"We've got trouble," Buffy said, bursting into Spike's crypt.  
  
He looked up from the bottle of blood he was drinking and said, "What kind of trouble? What kind of demon do we have to kill tonight?"  
  
"Not demon trouble," Buffy said. "Xander saw us."  
  
"When?" Spike asked, confused.  
  
"This afternoon. He came by here and he saw us together."  
  
"What was the whelp's reaction?" Spike asked, grinning at the thought.  
  
"It's not funny," Buffy snapped. "He thinks that you had another robot built."  
  
"Well we both know that I didn't," Spike said. "So how are you going to get out of this one? He saw us, you can't deny that." He was secretly pleased, now maybe Buffy would be forced to acknowledge their relationship.  
  
"We can't let anyone find out about us," Buffy said, pacing the crypt. "There has to be something we can think of that doesn't involve anyone getting staked or humiliated."  
  
"Oh so it humiliates you the thought that your friends would know about us," Spike snapped, hurt.  
  
"That's not what I mean," Buffy protested.  
  
"I know what you mean," Spike said.  
  
"Spike…" Buffy said. "Wait, I know. Tara knows about us."  
  
"What? I thought none of your mates were supposed to know about us?"  
  
"I had to talk to someone and Tara was there. She could do a spell to make everyone forget what Xander saw."  
  
"It's that simple for you, isn't it?" Spike told her. "A little spell and your reputation is saved."  
  
"Well yeah," Buffy said. "Your life or unlife is saved too. Xander wants to stake you."  
  
"Oh please, he doesn't scare me. And this spell isn't going to end it. You got away this time but how long until someone figures out that you come here for more than just slaying help and a little information?"  
  
"No one is ever going to find out," Buffy insisted.  
  
"Just go," Spike snapped, frustrated that she didn't understand what he was trying to say. "Cast your spell or whatever. I'll see you the next time you want your Spike fix."  
  
Buffy started to protest but Spike didn't listen so she turned and walked out the door. She hurried home, stopping to slay a few vampires that were unlucky enough to get in her way. She couldn't believe Spike. She had just saved his pathetic hide from being staked and he wasn't the least bit grateful. She stormed into the house, being careful not to slam the door and alert Dawn and Willow.  
  
"Did you talk to Spike?" Tara asked, startling Buffy. She was sitting on the couch. Dawn and Willow were no where in sight.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said, looking around to see if anyone else was listening.  
  
"They're upstairs," Tara said. "I waited around to see if you wanted to talk."  
  
"I need you to do a spell," Buffy said, sitting down next to Tara.  
  
"What kind of spell?"  
  
"A forgetting spell," Buffy explained. "So Xander forgets what he saw and everyone else forgets what he told them."  
  
"Buffy," Tara sighed. "I…I can't do that. I'm not going to do spells that are going to mess with people's minds. I couldn't tolerate that from Willow and I'm not going to do that myself."  
  
"Please," Buffy begged. "You have to do something. No one can find out about what I've been doing with Spike. I can't face them, the looks…"  
  
"Of disgust, of wondering how can you possibly feel that way about another person, that in their minds it's wrong and there is no way that they can ever accept that kind of relationship?" Tara asked gently.  
  
"Yes," Buffy replied, tears coming to her eyes. "How did you know?"  
  
"Because that's how some people looked at my relationship with Willow. They didn't understand how I could be in love with another woman. You would not believe some of the things we had to deal with."  
  
"But this is different," Buffy said. "You were in love with Willow. The two of you were in a committed relationship. I don't love Spike and I don't even know what we have together."  
  
"Well whatever it is you don't have to be ashamed of it," Tara said. "We're your friends and we love you. You've had a tough year and if Spike helps you feel better than there's nothing wrong with that."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "There has to be something wrong with me." She shut her eyes, "Besides this flu. I was feeling better but I think it's coming back."  
  
"Why don't you get some rest?" Tara suggested. "You might feel better in the morning."  
  
"I've tried that," Buffy said. "It's been coming and going all day and nothing I do seems to help."  
  
"Why don't I do a spell," Tara suggested. "There's one that helps the body fight off infection."  
  
"Sure," Buffy said. "Anything."  
  
Tara gestured for Buffy to lie on the couch, "I have to do a diagnostic spell on you first so that I can know exactly what's wrong. Your aura will glow and the color will tell me what's wrong."  
  
"What should I do?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Just shut your eyes and relax," Tara told her. Buff obeyed her friend. She closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep. 


	5. What Did You Do to Me?

Chapter Five: What did you do to me?  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around, slightly disoriented. Then she remembered that she was on the couch and Tara's spell.  
  
"So," She asked Tara, who was sitting on the floor surrounded by spell books. "What's the diagnosis, Dr.?"  
  
Tara looked up quickly, "I'm not sure. I think I might have made a mistake when I did the spell. According to your aura, you don't have the flu."  
  
"Well what's wrong with me?" Buffy asked, starting to get scared.  
  
"Well what it says just isn't possible," Tara said. "Here, let me try again." She chanted a spell and Buffy watched as a pale blue glow circled her body.  
  
"What's that mean?" Buffy asked. "Does blue mean that I have the flu?"  
  
"No," Tara said, slowly. She studied the book carefully and finally said, "I don't know how it's possible but a blue glow is a sign of pregnancy."  
  
Buffy sat up, "What? I'm not pregnant."  
  
"That's what the spell says," Tara said. "Are you sure it's not possible? Maybe there's a chance."  
  
"No," Buffy said, standing up and pacing. "There's no chance. The only person I've been with for months has been Spike."  
  
"Have you used protection?" Tara asked.  
  
"Of course not," Buffy said. "Vampires can't have children or transmit diseases so it was never an issue." She didn't bother to add that there wouldn't have been time anyway. Usually when she and Spike had sex, everything happened so fast that using any kind of protection was the last thing on their minds.  
  
"So, then who would the father be?" Tara asked.  
  
"No one," Buffy said. "Because I'm not pregnant."  
  
"Are you late?" Tara asked quietly.  
  
"I haven't been regular since I came back from the dead," Buffy snapped.  
  
"So you've missed a period," Tara stated.  
  
"Just because I've missed two periods doesn't mean anything," Buffy cried desperately.  
  
"You missed two periods?" Tara said alarmed. "And you didn't think anything was wrong?"  
  
"I've been under a lot of stress," Buffy tried to rationalize. "And I'm still adjusting to being alive again."  
  
"Buffy…." Tara started to say.  
  
"No," Buffy said, backing away. "Don't say it because it isn't true. It can't be true. Is it?" Tara nodded sadly. Buffy gasped, turned and ran as fast as she could out the door and didn't stop until she reached Spike's crypt. She threw open the door and stormed inside.  
  
"Hey luv," Spike said, grinning. He had been hoping that she would come. The candles were lit and he'd put a mattress on the floor, all made up. "How'd it go with your mates? Figure out a way to explain us?" Buffy didn't answer. She just walked up to him and punched him as hard as she could. "Ow! Bloody hell, what was that for?"  
  
"What did you do to me?" Buffy gasped. "What did you do to me?"  
  
"If you haven't figured that out by now then I must be doing something wrong," Spike snapped.  
  
"That's not what I'm talking about," Buffy said. "Now what did you do to me?"  
  
"I don't know what you're babbling about, pet. I haven't done anything to you out of the usual. So what's going on?"  
  
"Tara did a spell on me, a diagnostics spell. She wanted to see what was wrong with me and the spell showed that I'm…." Buffy couldn't even get the word out.  
  
"What?" Spike asked, starting to get concerned. He led her over to the tomb and they sat down on it. "Buffy, what's going on?"  
  
"I think I'm pregnant," Buffy blurted out, tears coming to her eyes.  
  
Spike stared at her, shocked. When he was finally able to speak he said coolly, "Really? Congratulations, who's the lucky bloke?"  
  
"What?" Buffy gasped. She couldn't believe that he thought it was someone else's.  
  
"Oh come on," Spike snapped, getting up and pacing around the crypt. "You honestly expect me to believe that it's mine? I think you've forgotten that vampires can't have children. You knew that."  
  
"Then who else could it be?" Buffy yelled. "I haven't been with anyone else. So that narrows it down a little. If I'm really pregnant then this baby is yours."  
  
"How is that possible," Spike yelled back. "There is no way that I could have fathered your child!"  
  
"You did," Buffy yelled. "Somehow, some way I'm pregnant and you're the only candidate so like it or not this…thing inside me is yours."  
  
Spike turned away from her for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts. This didn't seem possible. He'd never even thought about what it would be like to be a father. When he'd been William, he knew that getting married, and producing heirs was expected of him but that was far off in the future. Then he'd been turned and the possibility of children was gone but that hadn't bothered him. He'd been having too much fun. But now…. He turned back to Buffy and said, quietly, "So what do we do now?"  
  
"We?" Buffy asked. "No, there is no we in this."  
  
"Last time I checked, children weren't conceived alone," Spike said. "So what are we going to do?"  
  
"I'm am getting this…this…freak of nature out of me," Buffy said. She hadn't thought about it before but now she was sure. She was not going to carry and give birth to a child that was half vampire.  
  
"The hell you are," Spike yelled.  
  
"It's my decision," Buffy yelled back.  
  
"And I don't get a say in this?"  
  
"No!" Buffy cried. "You don't get a say in this. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. But I am not having a child that is half vampire. I am not going to explain to my friends and family how I managed to get pregnant with your child."  
  
"So you'll kill your child because you're embarrassed?" Spike said, incredulous.  
  
"I'm not killing anything," Buffy said. "It's just a ball of cells, just a freak of nature that has no business existing."  
  
Spike sat down next to Buffy and pulled her into his arms. She resisted at first but then she relaxed against him, "Buffy, listen to me. You can't do this. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked, looking up at him.  
  
"Do you remember when you thought you'd killed that girl?" Spike asked gently. "You told me that it was killing you. And that was just a stranger, someone you didn't know or care about and this… this is something that a part of you, whether you like it or not."  
  
"You don't understand," Buffy said. "How can I face everyone?"  
  
"If they really care about you then it won't matter," Spike told her. "And you won't be alone. You'll have me."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You think I'll let you do this alone?" Spike asked.  
  
"Who says that I'll let you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Spike asked.  
  
"I mean that even if I decide to keep this child, who says that I'm even going to name you as the father?" 


	6. Confrontations

Chapter Six: Confrontation  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, surprised.  
  
"I'm saying that even if I have this baby, I'm not going to tell anyone that it's yours."  
  
"I'd like to see you try getting away with that lie," Spike snarled.  
  
"I would," Buffy retorted. "Who are they going to believe? If I tell them that you're not the father then they'll believe me."  
  
"Then how are you going to explain who's the father? That you got pregnant by yourself?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I'll think of something and my friends will help me raise this child. What am I saying? I'm not having this child."  
  
"Why not?" Spike asked, simply.  
  
"Because this child is a freak of nature," Buffy yelled. "We don't now what it's going to be, if it's going to be a normal child or a…."  
  
"Try again," Spike snapped. "That excuse isn't going to work because no one knows how their child is going to turn out. Do you think my mother knew what I was going to be like or yours?"  
  
"It's not the same," Buffy said. "Besides, what right do I have to bring a child into this world? I've already died twice and the life span of a slayer is not a long one. How can I have a child when I don't even know if I'm going to be around to see it grow up?"  
  
"I'll be here," Spike said, simply.  
  
"Like you're the most dependable person in the world."  
  
"Who do you think helped take care of Dawn while you were dead?" Spike snapped. "And do you think I stayed with Dru for over a century for her conversation skills? Besides I do know something about kiddies."  
  
"What?" Buffy said. "That they taste better than adults?"  
  
"Hey," Spike said, insulted. "I never cared for the taste of little people. Dru was the one who liked to eat them."  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick," Buffy said.  
  
Spike ignored her, "And who do you think helped Mother raise…" He stopped, and pulled away from Buffy.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Nothing," Spike said. "It's not important. What's important is that you are having this child and I am going to be it's father."  
  
"When did you become all paternal?" Buffy asked. "You don't even like children?"  
  
"How would you know? You don't know anything about me other than how I make you feel."  
  
"I know that you're a heartless killer who is incapable of feeling," Buffy told him. "And I would not expose an innocent child to you. No father would be better than you."  
  
Spike hid his hurt and said quietly, "Like your own? Has he even visited you since your mum died? Does he even care about you and Lil Bit?'  
  
"It's not the same," Buffy said. She stood up, "I don't even know why we're having this conversation. I am not having this child."  
  
Spike grabbed her by the wrist and said, "Oh yes you are. You'll have this child. I don't care if I have to follow you everywhere you go for the next nine months, you'll have it."  
  
"It's my choice," Buffy said. "I know you were born over a hundred years ago but I think you probably have heard of something known as a woman's right to choose."  
  
"I have," Spike said. "But do you have any idea what kind of risk you'd be taking?"  
  
"Risk?" Buffy asked, confused. "What are you talking about? It's a perfectly safe and legal procedure."  
  
"There's nothing safe about it," Spike told her.  
  
"How would you know?" Buffy asked suspiciously.  
  
"During the sixties Dru developed a taste for pregnant women. She used to make me take her to illegal abortion clinics, where she would eat people in the waiting rooms. I saw a lot of things there, women bleeding to death, the screams…..You called me a killer, well that was nothing compared to what those doctors did. And I am not going to let you risk your life that way."  
  
"That was over forty years ago," Buffy snapped. "Abortion is legal now and it is perfectly safe." She turned to leave. "And you are not going to stop me."  
  
"Think of what you'd be giving up," Spike told her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Buffy, this might be only chance you'll ever have at having a child of your own, the only chance either one of us is going to have. How can you give that up?"  
  
"I don't have a choice," Buffy cried. "I can't raise a child. I can't even take care of Dawn and what are social services going to do when they find out that I'm single and pregnant? They might decide to take Dawn away and put her in a foster home. I can't do that."  
  
"It won't happen," Spike said. "I won't let it. We'll think of something."  
  
"Spike……."  
  
"At least think about this," Spike said. "You keep calling this child a freak of nature but really it isn't. This child shouldn't have even been conceived at all but it was, doesn't that tell you something. For all you know it could be a part of some prophecy."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes for a minute, and then said tearfully, "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me like this?"  
  
"I'm only telling you the truth, luv. It's not pretty but it's the truth and if I don't tell it to you then no one will."  
  
"I have to go," Buffy said, pulling away. "I have to work tomorrow."  
  
"No, you don't," Spike told her. "You're not going to work at that place, not as long as you're carrying my child."  
  
"I have to work," Buffy said. "Otherwise the bills don't get paid."  
  
"I'll take care of that," Spike said. "I promise I'll take care of you, Dawn and this child."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Don't worry," Spike said. He took her elbow.  
  
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'm taking you home."  
  
"I don't need you to escort me," Buffy snapped.  
  
Spike looked at her intently, "Until this child is born, I'm going to be on you like a troll on the local virgins."  
  
"Nice analogy," Buffy snapped.  
  
"It's the truth," Spike said. "I'm not letting you out of my sight."  
  
:"Just try it," Buffy asked. "What are you going to do when I want to go out during the day?"  
  
"Simple," Spike said. "I have plenty of friends who'll help me keep an eye on you."  
  
"Friends I can kill," Buffy said. "Now I really have to go." She started to leave but Spike wouldn't let her go home alone. He followed her home and into the house. Dawn and Willow were asleep but Tara was still on the couch. She looked up in surprise at the sight of Buffy followed by Spike.  
  
"So have you guys talked?" Tara asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said.  
  
"No," Spike said at the same time.  
  
Tara looked at them both, "Um I see. Well did you decide anything?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy said.  
  
"No," Spike said at the same time. He looked at her irritated, "Stop doing that?"  
  
"What am I doing? We've decided everything and you don't get a say in what I do."  
  
"The hell I don't," Spike said. "This is my child too."  
  
"I don't know why I even told you," Buffy snapped. "I don't even know how you got me pregnant in the first place."  
  
"I don't know either," Spike yelled back.  
  
"Quiet, do you want to wake the whole house?" Buffy shushed him.  
  
"That sounds like a good idea," Spike said. He walked to the foot of the stairs and yelled, "Hey Lil Bit, Red, want to hear what I finally managed to do?"  
  
Buffy grabbed him and pulled him away from the steps, "Shut up!"  
  
"They're going to hear it sometime," Spike pointed out. "Unless they think you're just getting fat because you're eating too much."  
  
"I'm not going to get fat, and bloated and sick," Buffy told him. "I am not having this baby. I told you that."  
  
"And I told you that I am not going to let you not have it."  
  
"I would like to see you try and stop me," Buffy said.  
  
"Oh I can," Spike said. "Believe me, I can."  
  
"Stop it, both of you," Tara said. She finally decided it was time to break them up. "There's something that you need to know."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"About your baby," Tara said. "How you managed to pregnant in the first place."  
  
"Yeah," Spike said. "I was wondering about that. How did that happen?"  
  
"It's my fault," Tara said, unable to look at either one of them. "It's my fault that Buffy's pregnant." 


	7. Discussions and Decisions

Chapter Seven: Discussions and Decisions  
  
Spike and Buffy stopped glaring at each other and both turned to Tara in shock. Spike was the first to regain control of his voice, "What did you just say?"  
  
"I think that it's my fault that Buffy's pregnant," Tara admitted  
  
"How is that possible?" Spike asked, looking at Tara skeptically. "Last I heard it only takes two, plus I haven't done any three ways since South America."  
  
"You're disgusting," Buffy told Spike.  
  
"Oh come on," Spike said. "You like me that way."  
  
"I must have been drugged or something to even let you touch me."  
  
"I didn't know drugs could last for over five hours," Spike leered at her.  
  
"You're…" Buffy started to say.  
  
"Okay, enough," Tara said. "I need to explain how this happened."  
  
"Sure," Spike said. "Tell us."  
  
"Buffy, you remember when you told me about you and Spike? That he could hit you now?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "But what does that have to do with…"  
  
"I started thinking about how Spike could fight you now and what might happen if he ever turned against you. And if his chip ever malfunctioned…."  
  
"I would never turn against Buffy," Spike said. "I love her. You know that."  
  
"You loved Drucilla too," Buffy pointed out. "And didn't you try and kill her once?"  
  
"That was different," Spike said.  
  
"How? Is that how it works with you vampires, kill your old girlfriend to impress your new infatuation?"  
  
"Anyway," Tara said, breaking into their conversation. "I decided that I had to do something. So I did some research and I found a spell that would make sure that Spike wouldn't ever be able to hunt or kill again."  
  
"What spell is that?" Spike asked. "A lobotomy?"  
  
"No," Tara said. "It's a kind of resurrection spell."  
  
"Like what Darla had done to her?" Spike asked.  
  
"Darla?" Buffy asked. "Angel staked her a long time ago."  
  
"Yes and then she got brought back and Dru revamped her. Last I heard she and Dru were causing all kinds of mayhem all over L.A."  
  
"Does Angel know about this?" Buffy asked, concerned.  
  
Spike's face became expressionless, "Considering that he set them on fire, I'd say he does."  
  
Tara broke in. This whole conversation was getting confusing and it was impossible to keep them focused on her explanation, "So I found a spell that would turn Spike human again and I decided to try it."  
  
"Who asked you to?!" Spike yelled. "I never said that I wanted to be mortal again. I may have this chip in my skull but I'd never go back to being what I was."  
  
"That's right," Buffy added. "Being a soulless, heartless killer is so much more fun."  
  
"I made a choice over a hundred years ago," Spike told them. "I chose what I am. I don't have any regrets and I don't need you to change any of it for me."  
  
"Well it didn't work, so what are you complaining about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"That you think you can control my life that way," Spike yelled. "I spent my entire human life letting other people make my decisions for me, who my nannies were going to be, who my tutors were, where and what I studied at the University…everything. Then I was turned and for the first time I was able to control my own destiny. I did what I wanted to do. No one told me how to live my life and I liked it that way.  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. "You want to stay a heartless killer. But what does making you human again have to do with me being pregnant?"  
  
"The spell I cast is very old and very complicated. I haven't found any records of it being done successfully but I still wanted to try it, so I got everything I needed and cast the spell." Tara looked at Buffy and said, "From what you've told me it sounds like your baby was conceived on the night that I cast the spell."  
  
"So what does one have to do with the other?" Spike asked impatiently.  
  
"I think that what happened is the spell worked," Tara explained. "Spike was turned human just long enough for you to conceive. You two were probably so caught up in the moment that neither one of you noticed that Spike had become human and since the spell didn't work…"  
  
"So you cast a spell that made Spike human just long enough to get me pregnant?" Buffy asked. Tara didn't say anything. She just nodded. Buffy shuddered and said, "I think I'm going to be sick. How could you do this to me?"  
  
"I was just trying to help," Tara tried to explain.  
  
"Well your 'helping' got me pregnant by William the Bloody," Buffy said sarcastically. She shook her head, "It doesn't matter, though. Because I am not having this baby."  
  
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, threateningly. "That's not up for debate."  
  
"For once I agree," Buffy said. "It's not up for debate. I am not having this baby. The only reason this… thing even exists is because of a spell that Tara messed up."  
  
"I don't care," Spike snapped. "Children are made in all kinds of circumstances, that doesn't change anything. You are not getting rid of this child."  
  
"Says who?" Buffy snapped. "I'm the one that has to carry this child. I'm the one who has to face all the stares and responsibilities."  
  
"Not alone," Spike said, gently. "You don't have to face this alone. I won't go anywhere and I'll help you with whatever you need."  
  
"And you're the most trustworthy person in the world."  
  
"You thought so enough to trust me with the Nibblet," Spike pointed out. "I had plenty of chances to betray her and I didn't."  
  
"That was different," Buffy said.  
  
"How?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy didn't say anything. There really wasn't a good answer to give because Spike was right and she knew it.  
  
"I'll leave you two alone," Tara said. "You really need to talk."  
  
"We've said all that we need to say," Buffy said. "Now I'm tired so could you please leave?" She asked Spike.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Spike said. "Not until I know that you're not going to do anything stupid. And don't think you can try any de-invitation spells. I'll get an invite. I have before."  
  
"Do you want me to throw you out?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You're not throwing anything," Spike asked. "Now I'm staying and there's nothing you can do about it."  
  
"Watch me," Buffy said.  
  
"Look," Spike said, changing his tone. He knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere fighting with her. "Can we talk about this, not make any rash decisions until we've had a chance to discuss this?"  
  
"No, because there is noting to discuss," Buffy told him. "I've already told you that I am not having this baby."  
  
"Oh yes you are," Spike said, grabbing her wrist. "You will if I have to chain you down in my crypt for the next nine months."  
  
"You wouldn't dare," Buffy said.  
  
"Watch me," Spike said coolly.  
  
"Why don't you two talk about this in the morning," Tara suggested, trying to break up their fight. "When you're both thinking clearer."  
  
"I'm not going to change my mind in the morning," Buffy said.  
  
"Neither am I," Spike said.  
  
"Good," Tara said. "You agree on something."  
  
"That's all we agree on," Buffy said. "Now get out," She ordered Spike. "I want you to leave."  
  
"No," Spike said. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Why can't you just leave?" Buff asked, fighting back tears. "Why won't you just leave me alone."  
  
"Because I can't," Spike said gently. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I can't leave you anymore than you can stay away from me. We both know that. We're a part of each other, especially now. You can't deny it."  
  
"Yes, I can," Buffy said. "I just want to forget this whole nightmare ever happened."  
  
"You won't," Spike said. "If you get rid of this child then you will regret it, you know it and I know it."  
  
"I can't have this baby," Buffy said desperately. "Don't you understand?"  
  
"I know you're scared," Spike said. By now both of them had forgotten that Tara was there. "So am I," He admitted. "But we have to give this chance. Doesn't this child deserve that much?" He reached down and put his hand on her stomach.  
  
"Don't," She begged.  
  
"Buffy, you are the bravest person I have ever met. In all the time I've known you, you've never run from anything. Don't start running now, especially from this, especially from the only chance either one of us might have at having a child of our own."  
  
"I'm not sure I can do this," Buffy admitted. "I can't raise a child alone."  
  
:"You won't be alone," Spike told her. "You'll have me."  
  
"How do I know that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Because of this," Spike reached into his pocket, "I've been hanging onto this, trying to find a right time to give it to you." He pulled out a sapphire and diamond necklace. It was a simple necklace with alternating sapphires and diamonds.  
  
"Who'd you steal that from?" Buffy asked, angry that he thought that he could buy her.  
  
"I didn't steal it from anyone," Spike snapped. "I've had it since I was 18 years old. It was my mother's, a wedding present from my father. She gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday. It was originally intended for my wife but since I was turned….. I never got a chance to give it to anyone."  
  
"What about Drucilla?" Buffy asked.  
  
"There was never a right time and I didn't feel right about giving it to her. Something always held me back. But I want you to have it," Spike said, handing her the necklace.  
  
Buffy stared at the necklace and tried to hand it back to him, "I can't accept this."  
  
"Yes you can," Spike told her. "It's a promise. I've been all over the world but no matter where I've been I've kept two things with me and that necklace is one of them. So as long as you have this necklace and my child then you know that I won't go anywhere."  
  
Buffy stared at him for a long time, wondering if she should believe him. She finally sighed and said, "Alright, I still don't trust you but it looks like I don't have a choice."  
  
"No, you don't.," Spike agreed. He looked around the house and said, "So I'll move in tomorrow."  
  
Buffy started to protest but sighed and said, "Fine, we'll figure it out as we go along." Without looking at either Spike or Tara she went upstairs and collapsed on her bed. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. So much had happened in one day and she didn't know how she was going to deal with it all but finally exhaustion overcame her and she drifted off to sleep. 


	8. Revelations

Chapter Eight: Revelations  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and immediately regretted it. She tried to lay perfectly still and hoped that maybe that would make her stomach behave. Slowly she sat up and moving slowly so that she wouldn't upset her already queasy stomach, she showered, dressed and went downstairs. She walked downstairs and saw Willow making Dawn breakfast. They stopped talking as soon as she entered the kitchen.  
  
"Hi," Willow said, brightly. "Want some eggs?" She gestured to the eggs she was making. Buffy stared at the pan, winced and backed away. Willow looked at her sympathetically, "Are you still feeling sick?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said, sitting down at the island.  
  
"Maybe you should go see the doctor," Willow suggested.  
  
"I will," Buffy said, trying to keep her stomach under control. She wasn't lying either. She did need to see the doctor to confirm her pregnancy and get started on pre-natal care. She had a feeling that if she didn't make an appointment herself, then Spike would drag her to the doctor.  
  
Willow and Dawn exchanged a glance and Willow finally spoke, "What happened with Spike last night? Did he build another robot?"  
  
"No," Buffy said, quietly. "Spike didn't build another robot."  
  
"So he found some ho that looks just you?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath and said, "No, Spike isn't involved with someone who looks like me. It was me that he was with."  
  
There was a stunned silence and from behind Buffy she heard Xander gasp, "What?"  
  
Buffy turned around and saw Xander and Anya standing behind here. "It was me that you saw with Spike last night," She repeated.  
  
Everyone exchanged glances, wondering who should speak first. No one quite knew what to say. They just stood there staring at each other and at Buffy. The silence was finally broken when the door opened and Spike hurried inside, covered by his smoking blanket.  
  
" 'Morning all," He said, looking at the group gathered in the kitchen. Then he noticed the grim faces, "What?" He never got an answer to his question because suddenly Xander grabbed him by the front of his shirt, "Hey watch the shirt," Spike protested.  
  
Xander threw Spike up against the wall and pressed a stake up against his chest, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use this?"  
  
Spike looked over at Buffy, "Should you tell them or should I?"  
  
"We are not going to do this now," Buffy said.  
  
"Well you'd better do something," Spike said. "Or the whelp here is going to turn your.."  
  
"Shut up," Buffy yelled before he could announce her pregnancy to everyone. "Xander, let him go." Xander glared at Spike but let him go. "Now there's a reasonable explanation for this."  
  
"Oh we understand," Anya said. "You're having sex with Spike."  
  
"Buffy, I know you've been through a lot lately," Willow said. "But is this the way to go? I mean it's Spike?"  
  
"Hey," Spike said, insulted.  
  
"It's complicated," Buffy said. She shut her eyes, trying to get her nausea under control.  
  
"Are you okay, luv?" Spike asked, concerned.  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said, shaking her head at him. She didn't want him to broadcast her pregnancy to anyone quite yet.  
  
"No, you're not," Xander said. "You're sleeping with Spike. There is obviously something wrong with this picture."  
  
Buffy sighed, "I needed him, okay? Ever since I came back I haven't felt alive. I may be alive but I feel dead inside and the only time I feel alive is when I'm with Spike."  
  
"Buffy, we're your friends. You could have come to us, " Willow said. "We want to help you."  
  
"You couldn't help me," Buffy snapped. "Every time I saw you, I'd remember that you were the ones who brought me back," She held up her hand at their protests. "I know you thought that you were doing the right thing but it didn't change how I felt."  
  
"Buffy, we didn't bring you back so that you could shack up with Spike," Xander said.  
  
"You don't get to control my life," Buffy snapped. "Enough people have messed with both my and Spike's lives already."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Willow asked.  
  
"She's talking about how your ex thought that she could help Buffy by making me human again," Spike told them. "She worked her mojo, hoping that I'd turn all mortal again. Instead she messed up and now…"  
  
"Spike, can you shut up for two seconds," Buffy said, desperately.  
  
"Why did Tara want to turn you human again?" Dawn asked.  
  
"She was just finishing what the bloody Initiative started," Spike said. He didn't want anyone to know that he could hit Buffy. They'd just use it as an excuse to stake him and he didn't fancy becoming a pile of dust, especially with a little one on the way. "Just another way of making a vampire harmless."  
  
"But obviously it didn't work," Dawn said.  
  
"It did work for a little while," Spike said. "But at the time both of us were too… preoccupied to notice that I had a heart beat."  
  
"That was more than I needed or wanted to know," Xander said.  
  
"So um now what are guys going to do?" Dawn asked. She was late for school but she didn't care. This was much more interesting.  
  
"Didn't Buffy tell you?" Spike said, grinning. "I'm moving' in."  
  
"Why?" Willow asked. "I mean, why are you moving in now? What's changed?"  
  
"We're tired of sneaking around," Buffy said before Spike could say anything. "If he's here then he can help around the house and he's here to protect Dawn."  
  
"But.." Willow started to say.  
  
"It's not up for debate," Buffy said quietly. She wasn't thrilled about Spike moving in but she didn't have a choice.  
  
"Well if this is what you want.." Willow said.  
  
"It is," Buffy said. This wasn't what she wanted but she didn't have a choice. Spike was going to be around no matter what and she might as well get some use out of him.  
  
"So where's he going to sleep?" Dawn asked, trying to be practical. "Your room?"  
  
"No," Buffy said, ignoring Spike's disappointed look. She didn't have time to deal with a disappointed vampire. She was already trying to figure out a way to fit a baby into an already crowded house. "He'll sleep on the couch."  
  
"So why's he moving at all then?" Dawn asked irritated. "You're moving him in because you don't want to hide your relationship but you're making him sleep on the couch?"  
  
"Dawn, this is complicated," Buffy said.  
  
"How much more complicated can it be? Why is Spike moving in if it's not to sleep with you? Are you pregnant or something?"  
  
Buffy's already pale face turned white and she looked like a deer trapped in the headlights, "Buffy, that was a joke," Xander said. "Right, oh please tell me she's joking."  
  
""Fraid not," Spike said, leaning against the counter and grinning. "Ole Spike here managed to do the impossible."  
  
"Buffy?" Willow asked. "Is he telling the truth?"  
  
Buffy glared at Spike. She was going to stake him for this, "Yes, he's telling the truth. I'm pregnant and it's Spike's."  
  
  
  
Thanks for all the positive feedback! Please send more! It's the inspiration I need to keep writing this story! 


	9. Truths

Chapter Nine: Truths  
  
"How is that possible?" Anya asked. She was the first to recover her voice. "In all my years as a vengeance demon I've never heard of a vampire having a child. Oh it must have been Tara's spell."  
  
"Tara's spell make Spike human just long enough for us to conceive this child," Buffy explained.  
  
"Wow," Xander said. "So um, what now?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I mean, what are you going to do?" Xander asked. "I mean we'll support you in whatever decision you make."  
  
"Yes," Anya agreed. "We'll go with you and hold your hand while you have an abortion performed by an incompetent doctor who won't even wash his hands."  
  
"She's not having an abortion," Spike snarled. Anya's words had brought up some memories of other clinics. He had seen women die because of incompetent doctors and he wasn't letting Buffy be one of them.  
  
"You're not, are you?" Dawn asked horrified. "I mean, you can't."  
  
"No, she's not," Spike assured Dawn.  
  
"She can speak for herself," Buffy snapped. "And no, I'm not getting rid of this baby."  
  
"So instead you're going to have Spike's demon spawn?" Xander asked.  
  
"Hey," Buffy yelled. "Don't you ever talk about my child that way again."  
  
Xander held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, sorry."  
  
"No," Buffy said, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."  
  
"We understand," Anya said. "Pregnancy hormones are coursing through your body causing nausea, moodiness, frequent urination and other unpleasant symptoms."  
  
"I think we'd better go," Xander said. Buffy was glaring at Anya and Xander didn't want a fight to break out. "We're going to be late for work." They left with Xander saying that he would be back later on in the evening.  
  
"I uh have to go too," Willow said. "I have a class that starts soon."  
  
"Can you take Dawn with you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Sure," Willow said. "Come on Dawnie."  
  
Dawn started to protest, "But I'm a part of this too."  
  
"Dawn," Spike said. "I promise we'll talk about this when you get home." Dawn nodded and she left with Willow.  
  
"How did you do that?" Buffy asked, amazed.  
  
"Practice," Spike said.  
  
"What's your experience in raising children?" Buffy asked. She couldn't believe that Spike knew anything about children other than how they tasted.  
  
"I've had enough," Spike said shortly.  
  
"Where?" Buffy asked. "Did you and Drucilla turn one or something?"  
  
"No," Spike said. "She wanted me to turn one but I told her no. That's when I gave her Miss Edith. Her dolls were her children."  
  
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to talk about Spike and his days with Drucilla. She knew it shouldn't but for some reason the thought of Spike with someone else bothered her. "Anyway," She said, changing the subject. "We need to make some decisions before Dawn comes home."  
  
"Like what?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well we need to figure out where things stand with us, how we're going to explain your presence to social services, how I'm going to support a child, things like that."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "Why don't you sit down? I'll clean up in here and make you a cuppa." Buffy eyed him suspiciously but went into the living room and sat down. She had called in sick to work again. She hated to miss another day but she still wasn't feeling like herself yet.  
  
Spike came into the living room carrying a tray that held a cup of tea and a plate with two slices of toast on it, "Spike," Buffy said. "I'm not hungry."  
  
"Well you're going to eat something," Spike said. He sat down next to her and handed Buffy the tea-cup, "Now what do we need to decide first?"  
  
"How about how we're going to support both Dawn and this child," Buffy said, trying to be practical. She wasn't money crazy like Anya but Buffy knew that it would cost something to raise both Dawn and a baby.  
  
"Well you're not working at that fast food place," Spike said. "Not anymore."  
  
"I have to work somewhere," Buffy pointed out. "And I'm not trained to work anywhere else."  
  
"Well you're not working there. It'll be too exhausting being on your feet all day."  
  
"So what do you suggest I do then?" Buffy asked. "Stay at home and be pregnant?"  
  
"No," Spike said. "But there has to be something you can do that doesn't involve being on your feet all day. Why don't you check out the want ads and in the mean time I'll support you, Dawn and our little nipper."  
  
"How?" Buffy asked. "Last time I checked you can't work anywhere, especially during the day."  
  
"I'll work at that magic shop if I have to," Spike said. "But I thought about it all night and I have a plan."  
  
"Please tell me it's legal," Buffy said. "And it won't get you killed by some demon."  
  
"It's legal," Spike said. "And all I need is the phone and computer. I talked to one of those bloody irritating tell-a-marketing companies. Luv, you are looking at their newest employee. Plus I can work from the home."  
  
"You got a job," Buffy asked, amazed.  
  
"Right," Spike said. "My father might have been a poofter, worse than Angel but one thing he did teach me was that I have to provide for my own and that's you, Dawn and the baby."  
  
Buffy didn't say anything. She was impressed, even though it went against her instincts. Spike was taking steps to be responsible for her child and he was also including her and Dawn. "What about social services? They won't be too impressed that I'm living with the father of my baby."  
  
"We'll tell them that we're getting married," Spike said.  
  
"Over my broken, bleeding body," Buffy snapped.  
  
"Don't ever say that again," Spike snarled, grabbing her arm and causing her to drop her cup. "Don't ever say anything like that again."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said, shaken.  
  
Spike immediately let her go, "Sorry pet but I just saw how you looked when you jumped off that tower….. just one of those things I'd rather forget."  
  
"I understand," Buffy said. She had a long list of things that she wanted to forget. They were silent for a moment and then she spoke up, "About social services, why don't we just tell them we're married? I assume you're getting some kind of fake documents so that you can work. Why don't you get a marriage license while you're at it? We only have to act like we're married in front of the social worker."  
  
"I can live with that," Spike said. He was lying, though. He would do anything to help Buffy keep Dawn and to protect their baby but right now it seemed like he was the one who had to make all the concessions. He knew that being with Buffy meant that it had to be on her terms but he was sick of this. "No, I can't live with this," He told her.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I mean I want a little respect around here," Spike said. "This whole thing exists on your terms and I'm bloody tired of it."  
  
"What are you talking about, your terms? The very fact that I am having this baby should tell you something, plus you're living in this house. I'd say that's a big concession on my part."  
  
"Oh, so having my child is a big sacrifice," Spike snapped.  
  
"Yes," Buffy yelled. "Do you think I want this? I'm not ready to raise a child. I can barely handle Dawn, much less a baby."  
  
"Oh so it's the idea of having a child that scares you," Spike said. "The fact that it's mine has nothing to do with it?"  
  
"It has everything to do with it," Buffy yelled. "A child is supposed to be conceived in love or at least by two humans."  
  
"Well I was human when this child was conceived," Spike yelled. "And I love you. You know that. I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."  
  
"Well I don't love you," Buffy snapped. "But I still have to raise a child with you!" She looked at Spike, tearing coming to her eyes. "Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't I have had this child with Angel? I loved him so much it hurt. He would have wanted this child…"  
  
"You think I don't?" Spike yelled. "You have no idea what this child means to me. And as for Angel, why don't you call him, find out what he thinks about children and while you're at it, ask him about Connor."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Buffy said. "But I wish this was anyone's child but yours, even Riley's. At least with him I wouldn't have had to explain to my child why its father can't go outside during the day and drinks blood for meals."  
  
"Well it's not either one of theirs," Spike told them. "This child is mine so you'd better deal with it."  
  
"I'll deal with it," Buffy snapped. "But I don't have to like it. In fact I hate it. I hate that this child I'm carrying is yours!" Buffy saw the look on his face and realized that she had gone too far.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that," Spike said calmly. "I'll be in the basement if you need anything." He stormed out of the living room. Buffy heard the basement door slam shut. She knew that she had hurt him, she hadn't meant to but it had happened. She had just pushed away the one person she could always count on, the one person who knew her better than she knew herself and she had hurt him in the worst way possible. She stretched out on the couch and cried. 


	10. Resolutions

Chapter Ten: Resolutions  
  
Spike stared at the window in the basement, wishing that it would hurry up and get dark so that he could go out. He wanted to get his things from his crypt and he also had to get started on a plan he'd concocted to help support his new 'family.'  
  
He angrily paced the basement, wanting to go upstairs but he didn't want to see Buffy and deal with her insults. He knew that she wasn't happy that she carrying his child but he still wished she could show him a little consideration. He'd done everything she wanted. He'd even given her his mother's necklace but still she was making him jump through hoops.  
  
Spike sighed. He understood Buffy a lot better than she thought he did. He knew that she was scared and confused, so was he. He'd helped raise Charles and Charlotte, just like Buffy was parenting Dawn. But neither one of them had ever been responsible for a helpless infant. He knew that it was going to be hard but he was willing to do whatever he could. He loved Buffy, even if she didn't love him and he'd do whatever it took to make things easier for her. The problem was that Buffy knew he'd do whatever she wanted, just for a crumb of affection from her.  
  
"Spike?" said a voice from the stairs. "Are you still down here?"  
  
"Hey, lil bit," Spike said as Dawn came down the stairs. "You home from school already?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said, sitting down on a box. "Buffy said that you were down here."  
  
"Yeah," Spike said. "Thought I'd give her some space."  
  
"She's mad at you?" Dawn asked, confused.  
  
"She's just scared," Spike said. "And she's covering it up with a round of kick the Spike."  
  
"She's scared of having a baby?" Dawn said.  
  
"She's worried about the responsibilities, being able to provide, that kind of thing."  
  
"Is there anything we can do to help her?" Dawn asked. Buffy did get on her nerves a lot but Dawn wanted to do something.  
  
"Humor her," Spike said. "Don't take anything she says too personally." He knew he should follow his own advice about what Buffy had said but it had hurt too much.  
  
"What do you know about pregnant women?" Dawn asked. "Especially pregnant Slayers?"  
  
"I've been around," Spike said. He studied Dawn for a second and then said, "I have an idea, though, to make things easier around here. Want to help?"  
  
"Can I?" Dawn said eagerly.  
  
"Sure," Spike said grinning. "But Buffy can't find out about this. If she does then she'll stake me and I don't think you want your niece or nephew growing up with a father." Spike sighed. He had grown up without a father, with only his mother and his bullying Uncle Charles and he was not letting the same thing happen to his child.  
  
"No," Dawn agreed. "So what do I get to do?" Spike sat down next to her and began to explain his plan.  
  
Upstairs Buffy sat on the couch, studying the necklace Spike had given her. It was beautiful. It was a simple sapphire and diamond necklace with the stones alternating. She studied the antique clasp. It was old but it was in mint condition. Spike must have taken very good care of the necklace. She would have to ask him about it. Then she noticed some engraving on the clasp. It was the initials H. C. B. that was another thing she'd have to ask him, what the initials stood for.  
  
"Wow," Willow said, coming into the living room and seeing the necklace. "Where'd you get that?"  
  
"Spike," Buffy said.  
  
"You're kidding," Willow said. "Where did he get it from?"  
  
"He says that it was his mother's," Buffy explained. "He gave it to me as some kind of pledge that he'll never leave as long as I have this necklace and his child."  
  
"What makes you think he'd leave?" Willow asked.  
  
"Look at my track record," Buffy pointed out. "I haven't heard from my father in months, and every relationship I've ever had has ended with him leaving me."  
  
"I don't think Spike's the type to walk out on someone he loves," Willow said. "Especially when there's a child involved."  
  
"But what if his feelings change?" Buffy asked, putting into words the thoughts that had been plaguing her since she'd found out that she was pregnant. "I mean he worshipped Drucilla but then he offered to kill her just to impress me. What if he finds some other girl that he wants to be with and he wants to impress her by killing me and my baby?"  
  
"I don't think that will happen," Willow said. She wasn't too sure but she wanted to reassure Buffy. "He's proven himself while you were gone. He worked along side us all summer and he took care of Dawn all the time."  
  
"I know he's helped some," Buffy admitted. "But how can I raise a child with him? How do I know that he'll make a good father and how do I know that I'll make a good mother?"  
  
"That's a risk everyone has to take," Willow advised. She reached over and put her hand on Buffy's stomach. "I think that this a lucky baby to have you as its mother. Plus I think Spike will make an interesting father plus your baby will have all kinds of aunts and uncle to hang out with."  
  
Buffy smiled weakly, "I'm really going to need you guys to get through this."  
  
"We'll help," Willow offered. "All of us will help, you know that."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said, she leaned over and hugged Willow. She looked outside and saw that it had gotten dark. "I'd better go out and do a quick patrol."  
  
"No, you're not," Spike said, coming up the basement stairs. "You're not doing any kind of patrolling, not until the baby's born."  
  
"You have no right," Buffy said. "I'll be fine."  
  
"Sure," Spike said, sarcastically. "One well placed kick to the stomach and it'll be all over." He eyed her suspiciously, "Or is that what you want to happen?" Buffy stood up and punched Spike right in the nose, "Ow! Bloody hell," He looked at her and said, "Truth hurts, doesn't it pet?"  
  
"Don't you ever accuse me of wanting to harm this baby ever again," Buffy yelled.  
  
"Why not?" Spike snapped. "Every since you found out that you're pregnant you've been saying that you don't want to be. Well here's an easy way out."  
  
"Spike's right," Dawn said. "Buffy, you could hurt the baby if you get into a fight with a vampire. Why don't you let us to the patrolling, at least until the baby's born. We did it while you were gone. We can do it again."  
  
"I am not going to sit around and be pregnant for the next seven months," Buffy snapped. "What do you think the demons in this town will do once they find out that the Slayer is vulnerable? They'll go crazy."  
  
"Not if we make them think you're fighting with us," Willow said. "There's a spell that Tara can do, an illusion spell that will make it look like you're fighting with us."  
  
"Can she do that?" Spike asked. "Or will it turn out like her resurrection spell?"  
  
"It'll work," Willow said. "It's a simple spell. I'd do it but…"  
  
Spike looked at Buffy, "There, no more excuses. Now you're not patrolling. I'll chain you down in my crypt first."  
  
Spike and Buffy glared at each other in a silent battle of wills, finally Buffy said, "Fine, we'll do the illusion spell and I'll stay home and be pregnant. Satisfied?"  
  
"Not bloody likely," Spike said, looking her up and down.  
  
"You're disgusting," Buffy said.  
  
"That's not what you said last night," Spike said. He looked at Dawn and Willow, "Take care of her. I'll be back later."  
  
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I need to get my things from my crypt and I'll patrol," Spike said. "I'll be home before dawn." He grabbed his duster and stalked out the door.  
  
"Why am I having a child with him again?" Buffy asked, staring after him.  
  
"You slept with him," Dawn pointed out. "When you sleep with someone you run the risk of getting pregnant."  
  
"Not vampires," Buffy snapped. She stormed past Dawn and Willow and into the kitchen where she grabbed an apple and began to eat, staring angrily out the window. She hated it wen Spike was around but she couldn't bear to be apart from him either.  
  
For the first time since she'd learned she was pregnant she reached down and touched her stomach. Suddenly it occurred to her that there was a baby growing inside her, a part of her and incredibly, Spike had joined together to create another human being. It was impossible but it had still happened. Maybe this child wasn't the freak of nature she'd thought it was but maybe it was something wonderful that would make both her and Spike's life better. She suddenly realized that she wanted this baby, more than anything she wanted this baby. It was a part of her and she loved it. Buffy stared out the window in the direction that Spike had gone, wishing that he would come back. Willow and Dawn had gone upstairs, thinking that she wanted to be by herself but she didn't want to be alone.  
  
Suddenly the door opened, Buffy looked up and saw Spike walk through the door. He had come back. They stared at each other for a moment and then with a cry Buffy through herself into his arms. "I'm sorry," She sobbed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Shhh," Spike soothed, stroking her hair. "It's all right. Everything's going to be fine." He picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs where he laid her down.  
  
"I'm sorry," Buffy repeated. "I didn't mean what I said about the baby."  
  
"I know," Spike said, brushing her hair back from her face. "I know, now go to sleep."  
  
Buffy nodded. Spike lay down next to her and pulled her into his arms. She curled up into his arms, resting one hand on her stomach. Spike held her close, his arms reaching around to hold her stomach too and soon they were both asleep. 


	11. Requests

Chapter Eleven: Requests  
  
"Wow," Buffy said, curling up against Spike. They had just finished making…no, making love wasn't the word for it but it was more than just the wild sex that they had been having before. "That was…wow."  
  
"Yeah," Spike said. "I guess it's true what they say about pregnant women. Always wondered if it was, never had the chance to find out." They were alone in the house; Willow and Dawn were at school so they had been enjoying a leisurely morning alone. Spike shifted position, being careful not to disturb Buffy. "This is a nice bed, much more comfortable than my crypt. We should have spent more nights here."  
  
"Don't get too comfortable," Buffy warned. "You are not sleeping in here. There is a perfectly nice couch downstairs or you can have the basement."  
  
Spike looked down at her and said, "And why am I being thrown out of your bed at this late date? Seems like you're locking the door after the bloody horse has been stolen."  
  
"I have an impressionable younger sister living here," Buffy said.  
  
"Wrong answer, luv," Spike said. "Dawn knows how kiddies are made so I think it's not a secret that we've been sleeping together. I doubt she'll be traumatized, just as long as you stop that bloody screaming you do."  
  
"You're a pig," Buffy snapped.  
  
"Oh come on," Spike grinned. "You like me this way."  
  
"No, I don't," Buffy said seriously. "Nothing's changed except that we're having a baby. That's it."  
  
"Well you're going to have to learn to at least like me," Spike snapped. "Especially since we're going to be raising a child together."  
  
"Children do not make people love each other," Buffy told him. "Look at my parents, having me and Dawn didn't keep them together and what about your parents? Did they love each other?"  
  
Spike was quiet for a long time, so long that Buffy began to get nervous. Finally he said, "Yes, they did, very much. Mother totally worshipped and depended on my father and he adored her until the day he died."  
  
Buffy looked at Spike curiously. She knew next to nothing about his human existence. He never talked about it and to be honest she had never cared, "What were your parents like?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Why do you want to know?" Spike asked suspiciously.  
  
"I want to know what kind of family my child's going to have," Buffy snapped. "Because all I know is your undead family."  
  
Spike grinned, "I can't wait to see the look on Peaches' face when he finds out that he has a great-grandchild."  
  
"You are not telling Angel anything," Buffy warned. "Unless you want him to kill you."  
  
Spike didn't argue. He knew that Buffy was right. Angel would stake him just for sleeping with Buffy, once he found out that he had gotten her pregnant…."Fine, we won't tell him, for now."  
  
"Anyway," Buffy continued, satisfied that Angel wasn't going to find out about her baby, at least not right away. "Tell me about your family."  
  
"No," Spike said, getting up and pulling on his jeans.  
  
"Why?" Buffy asked, sitting up.  
  
"Because it is none of your bloody business," Spike snapped. "It was over a hundred years ago. They're all dead so what does it matter?"  
  
"Did you kill them?" Buffy asked, suspiciously. She knew what Angel had done to his family, maybe Spike had done the same thing.  
  
Spike stared at her for a long time. She had never seen him so angry. She'd seen him tear a room or a person apart but she had never seen him look so intense before, even at their most intimate moments. Finally he said quietly, "No, I did not kill my family. My father died when I was ten and my mother died shortly after I was turned. My little brother died when I was 15 and I don't know what happened to my little sister. I just know her husband died about 15 years after I was turned." Spike opened the door, looked at Buffy and said, "I did killed him, though." Buffy watched as he stalked out the door, slamming it as he left.  
  
Buffy got up, showered and dressed. When she went downstairs there was no trace of Spike but the basement door was ajar so he was probably down there. She decided it would probably be best not to disturb him right now. She grabbed an apple and walked out the door.  
  
"Hey guys," Buffy said, walking into the Magic shop. Anya, Xander, and Tara were all there.  
  
"Buffy, hi," Tara said, not quite looking at Buffy. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said. "Still pregnant."  
  
"And where's the culprit?" Xander asked. "Did you bring him too?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "He's at home."  
  
Anya looked at Xander and said, "Good, here's your chance. Now go ask him."  
  
"No," Xander said. "Spike is not going to be in our wedding."  
  
"It is either him or a chaos demon," Anya reminded him. "And I want Spike," She looked around. "In the non-sexual way of course."  
  
"I don't want him in the wedding," Xander said. "Who are we going to pair him with?"  
  
"I was thinking Dawn but then I thought maybe Hallie, you know a vampire and a vengeance demon. I also thought about Buffy, since you know they're together."  
  
"We are not together," Buffy said. "Spike and I are not a couple. We just happened to have sex once and a while and he somehow got me pregnant."  
  
"That sounds like half the marriages I've seen over the years," Anya said. "You have sex sometimes and one of those time causes a baby and," She continued. "Xander won't have any sex with me unless he asks Spike to be the wedding."  
  
"You're bluffing," Xander said. "You can't last a day without sex." He looked at Tara and Buffy who were staring at him in shock. "And I can't believe I just said that."  
  
"I'm not joking," Anya said. "We need Spike to make sure we have an equal number of bridesmaids and ushers. So go and ask him, now." They glared at each other for a minute and Xander turned and stormed out the door.  
  
"So who's Spike going to be paired with?" Buffy asked nervously. She was not going to walk down an aisle with Spike. It was bad enough that she was carrying his child.  
  
"Hallie," Anya decided. "She noticed him at your birthday party and she wants me to introduce them. I guess I'll have to tell her that he's already taken, though."  
  
"Spike is not 'taken'," Buffy said. "We're not a couple. Now excuse me, I'm going to train for a little while."  
  
"Is that a good idea?" Tara asked cautiously. "I mean, you don't want to do anything too strenuous?"  
  
Buffy sighed, irritated, "I'm fine. I'm pregnant, not porcelain." Then she stormed into the training room, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Xander opened the door to the Summers' house, and called out, "Spike? You there?" He quickly looked around and said, "Okay, if you're not here then I'll leave."  
  
"Can I help you?" Spike said, coming down the stairs.  
  
"Uh yeah," Xander said, walking into the living room, Spike behind him. "I need to talk to you."  
  
"If this is about Buffy or the baby then forget it," Spike snapped. "It's none of your business what she and I do."  
  
"I've seen what the two of you do," Xander retorted. "And it's going to take months of therapy to undo the damage."  
  
"It's going to take more than that to figure you out," Spike said, sitting down on the couch. "Now what do you want?"  
  
"It's ah about the wedding," Xander stammered. "I need to ask you something."  
  
"Sorry mate," Spike said. "My heart already belongs to another."  
  
Xander ignored him and continued, "Anya and I were wondering if you would…"  
  
"What?" Spike asked impatiently.  
  
"Be an usher in the wedding," Xander spit out.  
  
"Sure," Spike said.  
  
Xander looked at him, surprised, "You will?"  
  
"Sure, why not," Spike said. "Might be fun. Just don't make me wear one of those bloody monkey suits."  
  
"I wear one, you wear one," Xander said. "Or you'll be replaced by a chaos demon, again."  
  
Spike was on his feet; "I'd watch what you say next."  
  
"What are you going to do?" Xander said. "You can't hurt me."  
  
"No, but I can make your life miserable," Spike said. "In ways your feeble little mind can't even imagine."  
  
"I'd like to see you try," Xander said. They were standing right in each other's faces when the door opened and Dawn ran in.  
  
"Spike, I found…" She stopped at the sight of Xander. "Hi."  
  
"What do you have Dawn looking for?" Xander asked suspiciously.  
  
"Spike asked me to pick these up for Buffy," Dawn said, holding up a bag. "It's just some prenatal vitamins."  
  
Xander looked at them both and then said, "Fine, I have to go." He glanced at Spike; "I'll get your measurements later." Then he stormed out the door.  
  
"You got them?" Spike asked Dawn once Xander had gone.  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said proudly. "They're at your crypt."  
  
"Okay," Spike said. "I'll check on them after it gets dark."  
  
"I still don't see why Buffy can't find out about this," Dawn said. "It's completely harmless."  
  
"She won't think so," Spike said. "So you're going to help me out with this, right?"  
  
"Sure," Dawn agreed. "But why don't we keep them in the basement instead of your crypt? It will be easier to keep an eye on them."  
  
"It'll also be easier to get caught," Spike pointed out. "And then we'd have a lot of explaining to do."  
  
Dawn sighed. She knew that he was right. It just didn't make sense, though. Why was Spike making such an effort to hide what he was doing from Buffy? They shouldn't be keeping secrets like that from each other. They were having a baby, for heaven's sake.  
  
"I have homework," Dawn said, sitting at the dining room table.  
  
"Okay," Spike said, heading into the kitchen. "Let me know if you need any help." He opened the fridge and looked inside. He wasn't much of a cook, since he mainly lived on blood but there were some leftovers in the fridge. Maybe some of those would make a good meal. He could put something together, after all. How hard could it be? 


	12. Ideas

Chapter Twelve: Ideas  
  
Buffy walked into the house, followed by Tara, Willow, Xander and Anya. She had invited them over to discuss what they were going to do about patrolling. She heard laughter coming from the kitchen and quietly walked to the kitchen doorway.  
  
"How is it possible to ruin pizza?" Dawn giggled. "Even I know how to make that."  
  
"I've never had to cook in my life," Spike said, waving the smoke away from the oven door. "Besides the idiots who put the instructions on this frozen dough with tomato sauce are bloody incompetents."  
  
"Really," Dawn said. "Then how come I've never had trouble making frozen pizza?"  
  
Spike glared at her and said, "That's why blood's better. It doesn't have to be cooked."  
  
"No but you make a big fuss if the blood's not warmed to just the right temperature," Dawn teased. "You're worse than a little kid."  
  
"Am not," Spike snapped.  
  
"Are too," Dawn retorted.  
  
"Stop that," Spike told her."  
  
"Make me," Dawn teased.  
  
"Okay," Willow broke in, entering the kitchen. "Break it up you two. Buffy's already having one child. She doesn't need two more."  
  
"She started it," Spike said pointing at Dawn.  
  
"Me?" Dawn said. "You're the one who burned the pizza."  
  
"You burned the pizza?" Buffy asked. "What were you doing using the oven in the first place."  
  
"I thought I'd make dinner," Spike said.  
  
"Well don't," Buffy snapped. "Don't touch the oven or the stove. Just don't touch anything."  
  
"That's not what you told me to do this morning," Spike said.  
  
"Okay, guys, break it up," Willow said. "How about I order us a couple pizzas?" Buffy nodded at Willow so she went and called in the order.  
  
Everyone went into the living room and sat down to wait for dinner to arrive.  
  
"So um how was school today, Dawnie?" Willow asked.  
  
"Good," Dawn said. "I ah finished my homework."  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. "Any problems?"  
  
"No," Dawn said.  
  
"Good," Buffy said.  
  
"Before I forget, here," Dawn said, handing Buffy a bag.  
  
"What's this?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Spike had me pick up some pre-natal vitamins after school," Dawn explained.  
  
Buffy glared at Spike, "Why did you have her do that?"  
  
"You need to get started on those. This next few months are very critical," He said calmly.  
  
"Since when did you become such an expert on pregnancy," Buffy snapped.  
  
"I did some checking on the computer," Spike said. "And someone has to make sure this child is being taken care. I don't see you making any effort on your own."  
  
Buffy was so furious she could hardly speak, "What are you talking about? I'm having this child, aren't I? I'm doing to best I can."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "You haven't seen a doctor, you're still training.."  
  
"How did you know that?" Buffy interrupted.  
  
"I can smell you," Spike snapped.  
  
Buffy made a face at him, "You are disgusting. Besides I'm fine. Training is not going to hurt the baby."  
  
"How do you know that?" Spike asked. "You haven't asked a doctor or done any kind of research."  
  
"I'm the one having this baby," Buffy told him. "I think I know what feels right and what doesn't and right now everything's fine."  
  
Spike and Buffy's fight was interrupted by the arrival of the pizza. By the time the pizza had been divided up tempers had cooled down and the discussion had turned to Xander and Anya's wedding.  
  
"Spike, I need your measurements," Anya said.  
  
"Sure," Spike grinned. "Why don't we go upstairs and we can get them in…private."  
  
"Shut up, Spike," Xander warned.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes at Xander and asked Anya, "So who do I get to walk down the aisle with?"  
  
"My friend, Hallie," Anya said. "You remember her. She locked up in the house at Buffy's birthday party."  
  
Spike's face went rigid, "No, put me with anyone but her."  
  
"Why?" Anya asked. "After the party she couldn't stop asking about you. I think she likes you."  
  
"Tell her that she can…" He glanced over at Dawn and amended what he was about to say to, "Tell her to find someone else. Tell her that I said she's beneath me."  
  
Everyone stared at Spike in shock. Spike was a lot of things but one thing he had never been was a snob. In fact Buffy had always noticed that Spike held a lot of contempt for people who thought that they were better than others.  
  
"What do you have against Hallie?" Anya asked, surprised. "You hardly know her."  
  
"I know her better than you think," Spike said. "And I am not waking down any aisle with her." He glanced at Dawn, "How about you, Nibblet? Wanna walk down the aisle with me?"  
  
"Sure," Dawn said eagerly. Buffy started to protest but she knew that if she objected to Dawn's being paired with Spike then she'd wind up being paired with Spike herself.  
  
"Okay," Anya said. "That'll work although it would be nice if Spike and Buffy were paired together."  
  
"No," Buffy said, smothering a yawn. She was exhausted, from training and she noticed that her pregnancy was making her tire easily. Spike noticed this and slowly put his arm around her and pulled her down to his shoulder. Both he and Buffy were surprised when she didn't protest. She just leaned against him and sighed, with her hand resting on her stomach.  
  
"Hey, Buffy," Willow said, being careful about what she said. Right now Buffy's moods were all over the place and Willow didn't want to upset her. "I have an idea. I was thinking about your baby today and I was thinking that instead of a doctor maybe you should use a midwife instead."  
  
"A midwife?" Buffy said, surprised. "Why?"  
  
"Well, even though this baby did technically have human parents, since you're the Slayer and Spike's well a vampire this baby might be a little different and a hospital would ask questions, and wouldn't be as well protected," Willow pointed out. "If you used a midwife then you could use this Wiccian one that I know and she would be discreet plus if you had the baby here then it would be protected from vampires entering."  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike, "She does have a point. I think it would be a good idea."  
  
Spike hesitated, "I don't think so."  
  
"Why not?" Buffy asked. "It makes sense."  
  
"It's too risky," Spike said. "Doctors are quacks but having a baby in hospital makes more sense than having some bloody stupid midwife delivering our child."  
  
"She's perfectly qualified," Willow said. "She told me that she's delivered more babies than most doctors. She believes in doing everything natural and letting mother and child set their own pace."  
  
"Great," Spike said, sarcastically. "Sounds like fun."  
  
"I think we should use her," Buffy said.  
  
"No," Spike said.  
  
Tara looked at Spike and understood, "Spike, this is not 1880. Midwifes are trained now. They know what they're doing. Buffy's probably safer having this baby here than in a hospital."  
  
Spike sighed. He knew how to pick his battles and in the case he wasn't going to win, "Fine, we'll talk to her."  
  
"Good," Buffy said. She knew that she could get her way with Spike when she really wanted to. "Will, can you get us the number of that midwife?"  
  
"Sure," Willow agreed. She looked at Buffy and saw how tired she looked. "Why don't we go out and patrol. You look tired."  
  
"Okay," Buffy agreed grudgingly. She hated not being able to patrol but she knew it was either that or Spike would chain her down in his crypt again.  
  
Everyone said their good-byes and left, leaving Buffy with Spike and Dawn. "Okay, Lil Bit," Spike said, standing up. "It's late, get to bed." Dawn made a face at him but she said good night to Buffy and Spike and then went upstairs.  
  
"You're good with her," Buffy said, leaning back on the couch as Spike stood up and began to gather up plates, cans and pizza boxes.  
  
"Practice," Spike said, looking off in the distance.  
  
"With who?" Buffy asked, hoping she wasn't getting into dangerous territory. "Your brother and sister?"  
  
Spike nodded, "I was ten when they were born. Father died shortly after so I was their father and their brother." He continued to stare off into space. Buffy didn't want to say anything more.  
  
"Anyway," Spike said standing and picking Buffy up. "You need your sleep. So I'll clean up and them I'll join you upstairs."  
  
"No," Buffy protested as Spike carried her upstairs. "You get the couch."  
  
"I'm not sleeping on the couch," Spike said, laying her down on her bed.  
  
"Yes you are," Buffy said, gazing up into his eyes.  
  
"No," Spike said, leaning down to kiss her. "I'm not."  
  
"Yes, you are," Buffy said, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
"No," Spike said, lowering his body down to cover hers. "I'm not." And that was all that was said that night. In fact, neither one of them noticed when Dawn slipped out of bed and discretely closed Buffy's bedroom door. 


	13. Old Faces

Chapter 13: Old Faces  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. She turned her head and saw Spike sleeping next to her. How had this happened again? She had tried to be firm and make him sleep down stairs on the couch but somehow between the couch and her bedroom her resolve had faltered. She hated that someone that she hated was such a big part of her life and had such control over her. She had always thought that she had the upper hand in what ever it was that she and Spike had together but lately it seemed like things were going more Spike's way. She was carrying his child, he was living in her house, and he was sleeping in her bed for crying out loud! How had things gotten so turned around?  
  
She carefully slid out of Spike's arms and sat up, immediately realizing that that had been a mistake. The moment she sat up her stomach started spinning out of control. She tried to take deep breaths, like she'd done before to control the nausea but this time it didn't work.  
  
She barely made it to the bathroom in time. She just grabbed onto the toilet and held on as she vomited over and over into the bowl. She vaguely felt Spike's arms go around her and hold her until she was done.  
  
"You okay?" Spike asked, wiping her face off with a cool washcloth.  
  
"I..I think so," Buffy gasped but no sooner had she said that then she felt the bile rise in her throat and she had to lean over the toilet again. Finally there was nothing left in her stomach to bring up and she leaned against Spike, grateful for once that he was a vampire and his skin was nice and cool.  
  
"Here," Spike said, handing her a glass of water. She quickly rinsed out her mouth and leaned back against Spike. He picked her up and carried her back to bed. "You stay here. I'll get the Nibblet off to school." Buffy nodded, too tired and sick to argue with him. She just shut her eyes and tried to get back to sleep.  
  
Spike went downstairs. He heard Dawn showering in her bathroom and Willow moving around in her bedroom. They were going to be down stairs soon and wanting breakfast. He looked around in the fridge and cupboards, trying to find something he could make. He finally found a box of pancake mix. That looked simple enough.  
  
He was just figuring out how to turn the pancakes when Dawn walked into the kitchen. She saw Spike flipping pancakes and burst out laughing. Spike glared at her but she couldn't stop laughing. She sat down on a stool and watched him, giggling.  
  
"You think this is funny?" Spike asked, pointing a turner at her.  
  
Dawn nodded, "William the Bloody turned chef, it's perfect."  
  
Spike handed her a plate with a pancake on it, "It was either I feed you or you starve, take your pick."  
  
"I don't know," Dawn said, studying her pancake. "How safe is this?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and said, "It's safe." He turned away from her and got his own breakfast ready.  
  
"Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked, keeping her eyes away from Spike's bowl of blood and Wheetabix.  
  
"She wasn't feeling well," Spike said.  
  
"Too much activity last night?" Dawn asked.  
  
Spike choked on his breakfast and gasped, "What? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Oh come on," Dawn said. "Who do you think closed Buffy's door last night? You guys really need to keep that closed, especially when you're…"  
  
"Bloody hell," Spike swore under his breath. Buffy was going to have a fit when found out that Dawn had seen them.  
  
"So," Dawn asked, gathering her book into her backpack. "Did you check on them last night?"  
  
Spike nodded, "Yeah, nothing yet."  
  
"Not yet?" Dawn said disappointed. "I thought something would have happened by now."  
  
Spike nodded, "I thought so too."  
  
"What can we do to hurry things along?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I'm not sure," Spike said. "But I'll think of something."  
  
"What are you going to think about?" Willow asked coming into the kitchen.  
  
"Nothing," Spike said. "Want a pancake?"  
  
"Did you cook them?" Willow asked warily.  
  
"They're safe," Dawn assured her, gesturing to her empty plate.  
  
Willow carefully tasted her pancakes and then said, in surprise, "Wow, these are good." She glanced at her watch and said, "Come on Dawnie, we're going to be late." She and Dawn grabbed their backpacks and hurried out the door.  
  
Spike cleaned up the kitchen, and brought a tray of tea and toast up to Buffy's room. She was asleep so Spike left the tray on her bedside table. He was downstairs and sitting at the computer when he realized something. He was becoming something he had sworn that he would never become. He was becoming domesticated. He was living with three women that he wasn't even tempted to bite and one of them was carrying his child, something that wouldn't have happened in the first place if it hadn't been for little magic. He was cooking, cleaning and even working. He was becoming what he had died to avoid. This wasn't happening. He had to get out of here to clear his head.  
  
He had just grabbed his duster and was about to head out the door and down to his crypt when suddenly a figure appeared in front of him. It was Anya's vengeance demon friend, Halfrek.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Spike said angrily. He was already in a foul mood. He didn't want to have to deal with unpleasant memories.  
  
"William," She said, softly. "We have to talk."  
  
"No, we don't," Spike said. "You've said all there bloody well is to say."  
  
"That was years ago, William," Hallie said.  
  
"I have a long memory," Spike said, turning around and stalking into the living room, Hallie at his heels.  
  
"William…." Hallie pleaded.  
  
"What?" Spike snapped. "What do you want me to say? Thank you?"  
  
"Just let me explain," Hallie pleaded.  
  
"No," Spike said. "There is nothing to say."  
  
"William…" Hallie tried again.  
  
Spike whirled around, his game face coming out, "Don't call me that ever again. It's Spike. William died a long time ago."  
  
"I'm so sorry," Hallie said. "I never meant for this to happen to either one of us."  
  
Spike shrugged, his face returning to normal, "I don't have any regrets. Becoming a vampire was the best thing that ever happened to me. Found people who appreciated me, you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Hallie said again. "I've regretted what I said that night for years."  
  
"Don't waste your guilt," Spike said coldly. "I told you. I've had a grand old time, cutting a swathe across continents, killing people, and hot, passionate nights with beautiful women, all thanks to you. I guess I should thank you for rejecting me that night Cecily. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. So thank you, thank you for everything, now get out."  
  
Halfrek looked at him for a moment, then looked up the stairs to where Buffy was standing. "You're very lucky," Hallie told Buffy. "Luckier than you know. Don't make the same mistake I did." She looked at Spike, "You were right. You were a bad poet but you were a good man. I can still see traces of William. I just have to look closer." Then she vanished.  
  
"What was that all about?" Buffy asked coming down the stairs.  
  
"Nothing," Spike said, shaking his head. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better," Buffy said. "Thanks for the tea and toast." Spike nodded curtly, still staring at where Hallie had vanished. "Um did Dawn get to school okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Spike told her. "Red took her." Spike headed into the kitchen. He wanted to get out of here and be alone to think. He hadn't thought of Cecily since that night he'd told Buffy about how he'd been turned.  
  
Buffy followed him into the kitchen, "Spike, what just happened in here? What was that vengeance demon doing here?"  
  
"She just wanted to discuss something but she was wasting her bloody time."  
  
"Why?" Buffy pressed. "What happened between the two of you? Why did she call you William?"  
  
"It's not important," Spike said impatiently. "We knew each other when we were human, that's it."  
  
"You did?" Buffy said surprised. "How did you know each other?"  
  
"Drop it," Spike ordered. "Just forget it. I have work to do." Then he stormed down to the basement, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Buffy watched him leave then she hurried out the door. If she couldn't get answers from Spike then she'd get answers from someone else. 


	14. Girl Talk

Chapter Fourteen: Girl Talk  
  
"Buffy, just the person I was looking for," Anya said as Buffy walked into the Magic Box. "I need Spike's measurements for his tux. Can you send him over here after dark? We don't have much time until the wedding."  
  
"I'll send him over," Buffy said, sitting down at the table. "Anya, your friend Halfrek stopped by this morning and things were really tense between her and Spike. Now normally I wouldn't care if someone didn't like Spike but when it goes on in my house then I need to know what's going on."  
  
"I don't know," Anya said. "Hallie just asked if I could arrange a meeting between her and Spike."  
  
"Did she say why?"  
  
"No," Anya said.  
  
"Well what do you know about her?" Buffy asked. "Spike wouldn't tell me anything, just that they knew each other when they were humans."  
  
"Really?" Anya said, surprised. "I knew Hallie was young but I didn't think she was that young." At Buffy's look, "In vengeance demon years. Anyway, she never mentioned that she knew Spike. I know she become a vengeance demon after she rejected one man and then was rejected by the other. They were both killed under mysterious circumstances too."  
  
"Wow," Buffy said. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know," Anya admitted. "Just that she was in some kind of love triangle. One man loved her but she rejected him and the one she did love rejected her. I guess she took it pretty hard and because of the pain she was in and the destruction that was caused because of the man she rejected she was seen as a good candidate for a vengeance demon."  
  
"I wonder if Spike was one of the men involved with her," Buffy mused.  
  
"It's possible," Anya admitted. "Why don't you ask Spike?"  
  
Buffy nodded. She didn't know if Spike would tell her but it wouldn't hurt to answer. Besides it really didn't matter. She and Spike weren't involved other than occasional sex and their baby.  
  
Anya looked at a list she was putting together, "I have no idea where we're going to put all the out of town guests that are coming for the wedding. We thought that we'd have my side at our apartment and Xander's half at his parents house but there are more than we expected."  
  
Buffy sighed. She knew what was expected of her so she offered, "If you want we can put up a few guests at my house."  
  
"Thank you," Anya said gratefully. "Chronus and Giles can stay with you."  
  
"I thought Giles was staying in a hotel," Buffy pointed out.  
  
"He was but then the hotel lost his reservation so he needs a place to stay."  
  
"Okay," Buffy agreed. Spike and Giles had lived together before and they had survived. They could do it again, for a few days. "Who's Chronus?"  
  
"A chaos demon," Anya explained. "He and I were good friends so I had to invite him to the wedding. Just don't get too near him. He might drip slime on your dress."  
  
"Thanks for the warning," Buffy said. "I'm going to go train for a few hours."  
  
"Are you sure you should?" Anya asked. "I mean…."  
  
"I told you I'm fine as long as I don't push myself too hard," Buffy said, going into the training room.  
  
She was sitting on the floor, and trying to clear her mind when the door opened. Buffy looked up, annoyed at the intrusion but then was happy to see that it was Willow.  
  
"Hi," Willow said. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure," Buffy said. Willow came in and sat down next to Buffy.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Willow asked. "Spike said that you weren't feeling so good this morning."  
  
"I'm okay," Buffy said. "It was just morning sickness."  
  
"Yuck," Willow said sympathetically.  
  
"You have no idea," Buffy said. "Fortunately it went away. I just hope it's not a regular occurrence." She shook her head, "Anyway, how are things with you? I've so preoccupied with everything that's happened lately that we haven't had a chance to talk."  
  
"Things are good," Willow said. "Classes are going well and I haven't been doing any magic at all."  
  
"That's good," Buffy said. "And how are things with you and Tara?"  
  
"Getting better," Willow said happily. "We're not totally back together but I have high hopes."  
  
Buffy nodded, "Well one of us at least should be happy and you deserve it."  
  
"Well you deserve to be happy too," Willow said.  
  
"Yeah but happiness and I don't really get along too well," Buffy said.  
  
"It could be worse," Willow pointed out. "You have a guy who loves you to the point of obsession and you're having a baby. That's good, right?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I don't even know what I thinking getting involved with Spike. All I knew was that he made me feel he still makes me feel. I feel when I'm with him and now that I've got his baby inside of me I feel alive all the time, even when I'm not with him."  
  
"Isn't that what you want?" Willow asked. "To feel alive again?"  
  
"But it's not me," Buffy said, tears coming to her eyes. "It's not me feeling. I don't know why I feel the way I do when I'm with Spike but I do know that the alive feelings I have aren't mine. It's the baby. The baby's what's making me feel alive again."  
  
Willow didn't say anything. She just looked at her friend, trying to understand what she was saying.  
  
"Using Spike to feel alive is one thing," Buffy said. "But I can't, I won't use this baby to feel. I can't use my child."  
  
"You won't," Willow tried to assure her. "You're going to be a great mom."  
  
"Yeah right," Buffy said, standing up and pacing around the room. "I'm going to be a good mom. Look at how well I take care of Dawn. Social Services are two seconds away from taking her away from me. Dawn's so angry with me for not seeing what was happening with you and for her getting hurt. She doesn't even listen to me anymore. Spike's the only one who can get her to do anything."  
  
Willow nodded, "I've noticed that too. While you were…gone he helped take care of her and they really bonded."  
  
"And now she only listens to him," Buffy said. She knew that was because Dawn knew that Spike would never leave her. Everyone else in her life had either died or left her but Spike hadn't. He'd stayed around and protected her when he didn't have to. He'd even endured torture that would have broken most people rather than betray Dawn. "So," She sighed. "I've got an obsessed love-sick vampire living in my house. I'm having his baby. I don't have a job anymore and the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that tonight I'm going to wind up in bed with Spike."  
  
"Yeah," Willow said. "I still can't believe that. I mean, you and Spike…."  
  
Buffy shut her eyes, "Let's not go there. Believe me you don't want the gory details."  
  
"Oh come on," Willow said. "You have to tell give me something."  
  
"Fine," Buffy snapped. "It's intense, and passionate. We do things that shouldn't even be possible. It's the best sex I've ever had in my life but it's all wrong."  
  
"If it's wrong," Willow said. "Then why do you keep going back?"  
  
"Because it's the only way I can feel alive," Buffy told her. "I just said that."  
  
"But there has to be something right about it," Willow pointed out. "I mean, you're having a baby…"  
  
"I know," Buffy said. "That's what makes this so confusing."  
  
"Do you really want this baby?" Willow asked, seriously.  
  
Buffy sighed and was quiet for a long time. Finally she said, "I think so. I know Spike does."  
  
"Forget about Spike," Willow said. "If this were just your decision, would you keep this baby?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy said and this time she knew it was the truth. "I would. I'm scared and I'm confused and I don't have a clue about how I'm going to do all this but I do love this baby."  
  
"There you go," Willow said. "That's all there is."  
  
Buffy nodded. Willow was right. She loved her baby and that was all that she needed to know. Hopefully everything else would fall into place.  
  
  
  
Please keep sending me replies! Good reviews are my reason to write! 


	15. History Lesson

Chapter Fifteen: History Lesson  
  
"What I can't understand is your lack of cooking skills," Dawn told Spike. "I mean you've been around for over a hundred years. How could you not know something about cooking? You were born before take out. Didn't you starve?"  
  
Spike grinned at down from across the table. They were eating take-out chicken with Buffy and Willow, "I was a vampire," He explained. "Vampires eat blood. I didn't need to learn how to cook."  
  
"Then how did you eat when you were human?" Dawn asked.  
  
"My family had a cook," Spike explained. "She did all the cooking and baking in our house. I don't think my mother ever set foot in the kitchen unless it was to order the day's menus or to find me, Charles or Charlotte. We always made our way into the kitchen for a snack."  
  
"Charles and Charlotte?" Dawn asked.  
  
"My younger brother and sister," Spike explained, taking a bite from the chicken wing.  
  
"You had a brother and sister?" Dawn said, surprised.  
  
"What did you think?" Spike asked. "That I was an only child?"  
  
"I don't know," Dawn admitted. "I guess I never thought about it." She thought for a second, "Were they twins or something?"  
  
Spike nodded, "I was ten when they were born." His eyes grew distant. Buffy noticed they always did that when he talked about his human family. "I was surprised when I got a sister along with the brother I had been told I was going to have. We were inseparable from the moment they were born…." He snapped back to the present and said, "Anyway that was a long time ago."  
  
"What happened…" Dawn started to say but a look from Buffy silenced her. Buffy had figured out by now that Spike didn't talk about his family very often and that it was a very touchy subject.  
  
"So how was school today, Dawnie?" Willow asked, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Great," Dawn brightened. "There's a school skiing trip and I really want to go. Everyone in school is going. It's going to be chaperoned and everything."  
  
"Where is it going to be?" Buffy asked.  
  
"In the mountains," Dawn explained.  
  
"Will it cost anything?" Buffy asked.  
  
"A little," Dawn admitted. "But I can pay for it myself. I already checked and I have enough. All I need is your permission."  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "I don't like the idea of you being so far away."  
  
"It would only be for a week," Dawn said. "I'd be fine. There are no demons in the mountains."  
  
"Just the abominable snowman," Spike said. "And if you see him tell him hi and that he still owes me from our last poker game."  
  
Ignoring Spike, Buffy went on to say, "I don't think it's a good idea, Dawn, not right now."  
  
"Why?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Well for starters you're still on probation after all the stealing you did," Buffy said. "I don't think that I should reward you for stealing with a ski trip."  
  
"That's not fair," Dawn said. "I worked at the Magic Box and I paid off everything I stole. My grades have been getting better. I've been doing everything you ask. What more do I have to do?"  
  
Buffy wavered for a second. It wasn't that big a deal to let Dawn go on the trip but she knew she had to be firm, "Consider not going on this trip the last aspect of your punishment," Buffy said. "I'm sorry."  
  
Dawn stood up, "This is so not fair. Everyone is going."  
  
"I'm sorry," Buffy repeated, still trying to be firm.  
  
"You're going to be sorry," Dawn said. "When I call social services and tell them that you're pregnant and shacking up with the father of your baby and that there's a lesbian witch living here too. I wonder how long it will be before I get put in a foster home where at least I'm appreciated." Then she turned and stormed out of the room.  
  
"She wouldn't really call social services," Buffy wondered, looking at Spike and Willow. "Would she?" Buffy stood up. "I'll go talk to her."  
  
"No," Spike said, standing up. "I'll handle it. She's too mad at you to listen right now."  
  
Spike walked up the stairs and knocked on Dawn's door.  
  
"Go away," Dawn yelled.  
  
"It's me, Nibblet," Spike said. "Can I come in?" There was no answer so Spike took that as a yes. He opened the door and stepped into Dawn's room. She was lying down on her bed, hugging one of her stuffed animals.  
  
"If you're here to lecture me then you can leave," Dawn said. "I don't want to hear it."  
  
"I'm not going to lecture you, Lil Bit," Spike said. "I just want to talk to you."  
  
"About what?" Dawn snapped.  
  
"About this bloody crazy scheme of yours to hand yourself over to social services.."  
  
"It's not crazy," Dawn said. "I'm serious. I'll do it."  
  
"And the situation you'll wind up in will be better than where you are right now?" Spike asked. "At least here you know that there a lot of people that love you, Buffy, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and…me. If you go to one of those bloody foster homes then you'll be alone. Do you want that?"  
  
"No," Dawn admitted. "But you don't know what it's like for me. No one notices me, no one cares about me. Buffy doesn't want to be here and the only reason you're hear is because of the Buffy and the baby."  
  
"That's not true," Spike said. "If I was only around because of Buffy I would have left last summer when she died. Now listen to me, I know what it's like to be parented by someone other than your own parents and I know that you don't like your life right now but it could be worse."  
  
"How?" Dawn asked, scornfully.  
  
Spike sat down on the bed next to her, "I'm going to tell you something no one else knows, not Buffy, not Dru, no one." He sighed, "My father died when I was ten, hunting accident and my mother was left with a ten year old son and twin infants. She had been so dependent on my father that she didn't know what to do without him so she turned to the next best thing, his younger brother."  
  
"Your mother married your uncle?" Dawn said. "Eww."  
  
Spike shook his head, "No, she didn't marry him. He already had a wife but Mother depended on him for everything. She handed control of the estate over to him. It was agreed that he would manage it until I was old enough to take over it myself."  
  
"Sexist, but what was so terrible about that?" Dawn asked, her troubles momentarily forgotten.  
  
"If you knew my Uncle Charles then you'd understand," Spike said. "I've only known one person that was crueler than he was and that was Angeles. He moved onto the estate to manage it but it was really to take control over all of us. Mother spent most of her time mourning my father and then when my brother died she was too depressed to notice. Charlotte and I didn't go her with our problems because we knew that any complaints would be handed over to Uncle Charles and we'd be beaten."  
  
"You were beaten," Dawn said horrified, trying to reconcile the image of Spike being beaten with the figure sitting in front of her.  
  
"He was trying to gain control over me so that he could control the estate even after I was grown. He succeeded too. If I'd lived then I would have let him control the estate and lived out my life my way, totally ignoring the estate."  
  
"But what does this have to do with me?" Dawn asked.  
  
"If you get sent to some bloody foster home then you might wind up with someone as bad as or worse than my uncle and you'd be alone. At least here you have a sister who had and would die for you, a vampire who's rather fond of you, and all kinds of friends who keep an eye on you, plus pretty soon there's going to be a little Spike running around who's going to need you."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Dawn asked.  
  
Spike grinned, "You're not going to be the youngest anywhere. You'll have a little niece or nephew that you're going to have to help out with."  
  
"Great," Dawn grumbled. "I'm becoming a glorified baby-sitter."  
  
"No," Spike corrected. "You're going to be someone that I know I can trust with my child and," Spike added. "I need you around to help me out with our…project. I can't do it by myself, you know."  
  
"No," Dawn agreed.  
  
"So no more talk about social services?" Spike said.  
  
"Alright," Dawn said.  
  
"Good," Spike said. "Now on to more boring subjects: Have you finished your homework yet?"  
  
"No," Dawn said. "I have to do this really boring report for history on the Boxer Rebellion."  
  
"The Boxer Rebellion, you say?" Spike grinned. "I think I can help you with that…"  
  
An hour later Buffy quietly opened the door to Dawn's room. She hadn't heard a word from Spike or Dawn since dinner and she was wondering what was going on up there. She wasn't sure what she expected to find but it certainly wasn't Spike and Dawn bent over her desk, discussing Dawn's schoolwork. Buffy quietly closed the door and went back downstairs, shaking her head. 


	16. Return

Chapter Sixteen: Return  
  
"I'm not going to the wedding tomorrow," Buffy announced from her position on the couch.  
  
"What do you plan on telling them?" Spike asked, looking down at the figure that was using his lap as a pillow.  
  
"I don't care," Buffy moaned. "Tell them I'm sick. Tell them I died. Tell them that I'm preventing another apocalypse. Tell them anything."  
  
"You're still not feeling well?" Willow asked, coming into the living room and handing Buffy a packet of Saltines.  
  
Buffy shook her head and shut her eyes. They had just come home from Xander and Anya's wedding rehearsal dinner. The actual rehearsal had gone fine, despite the mixture of demons and Xander's family but then during dinner Buffy had disappeared. Willow had found her on the floor of the lady's room, vomiting. Willow had had one of Xander's more stable relatives who was a nurse look at Buffy. She had said that it was morning sickness and to go home and rest.  
  
"Are you going to make it to the wedding?" Dawn asked, concerned. Ever since her talk with Spike things between her and Buffy had improved. Dawn was trying to be more considerate of her sister's feelings and Buffy was trying to pay more attention to Dawn.  
  
"Right now I'm going to try and make it to bed," Buffy said. She tried to move but then changed her mind. There was nothing left in her stomach to bring up right now but she was still racked with nausea. "No, I think I'm just going to stay down here. I feel okay as long as I don't move."  
  
"Okay, that's fine," Willow said. "You can sleep right here if you want to."  
  
"I think I will," Buffy murmured.  
  
"I thought you were doing better," Spike said, stroking her hair. "You haven't been sick for the past few mornings."  
  
"It's switched to evenings," Buffy said. "It hasn't been too bad but then tonight…"  
  
"Just get some rest," Spike said, making a mental note to call the midwife as soon as he could. They'd talked to her once and she'd said that everything was fine but Spike wanted to be sure.  
  
"At least we don't have extra people staying here," Willow pointed out. Chronus, the chaos demon was staying in Spike's crypt and Giles was supposed to be staying with them but he hadn't shown up yet and Buffy was a little relieved. She desperately wanted to see Giles but she didn't feel up to having to explain everything to him.  
  
"Yeah," Dawn agreed. "I talked to that chaos demon. They're disgusting." She looked at Spike. "Drucilla really must have been crazy to leave you for a guy like him."  
  
"Thanks, Platelet," Spike said. He looked down at Buffy, "Is there anything I can get you?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "Get me a stake so I can kill you for doing this to me."  
  
"Wasn't all my fault," Spike pointed out. "You were there too and this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Glinda the good witch."  
  
"Okay," Buffy groaned. "I'll kill her too."  
  
"Hey," Willow protested.  
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, "Willow, get that and tell them to go away," Buffy told her.  
  
Willow nodded. She went to answer the door. She opened it and saw Giles standing in the doorway. "You're here," She said excitedly. "We weren't sure if you were coming."  
  
"I had some last minute details to clear up before I could leave," Giles explained, coming into the house. "Fortunately I was able to catch a late flight." He turned and walked into the living room, stopping short at the sight of Spike sitting on the couch with Buffy's head in his lap. He turned back to Willow and said, "Willow, have you been casting spells again?"  
  
"No," Willow said. "No slips."  
  
"Then why are Buffy and Spike….." He gestured to the pair.  
  
"I think I'm coming down with something," Buffy lied. "And as soon as I got home I just collapsed on the couch and Spike just happened to be here." She shot Spike a look, pleading with him not to say anything.  
  
"What's wrong?" Giles asked, concerned.  
  
"I think it's just the flu," Buffy said. "I'll be fine for the wedding." She shut her eyes, trying to think. She couldn't move from the couch but she didn't want to have to deal with Giles's questions.  
  
Fortunately Spike spotted her dilemma, "Come on, pet," Spike said, standing and picking Buffy up in his arms. He carried her upstairs, undressed her and put her to bed. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said. She looked at him and said, "Don't start a fight with Giles, please. I can't deal with that tonight."  
  
Spike leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, "I'll be good. Now get some sleep." He stayed with her until her even breathing told him that she was asleep. Then he quietly went back downstairs.  
  
Giles was sitting on the couch, reading. Willow and Dawn were nowhere to be found. "Where's Red and the Nibblet?" Spike asked.  
  
"They went to bed," Giles said. "They wanted to get a good night's sleep before the wedding."  
  
"Okay," Spike said, heading towards the basement. He'd sleep there until Giles had left.  
  
"Where are you going?" Giles asked.  
  
"I'm staying down here tonight," Spike explained.  
  
"Why?" Giles asked.  
  
"Because there's a bloody chaos demon sleeping in my crypt," Spike said. "And I'm not sharing my space with one of those things."  
  
"And again," Giles said. "Why is Buffy letting you stay here?"  
  
"Things have changed while you were gone," Spike said, sitting down across from Giles. "Buffy's attitude towards me has softened quite a bit."  
  
"I see you're just as deluded as ever," Giles said. "Spike, get this through your chipped skull, Buffy doesn't and never will love you. You are a nuisance that she keeps around for her own amusement, that's it."  
  
"Whatever you say," Spike said, taking a drink from his flask.  
  
Giles studied the blond vampire sitting across from him. Something was going on and he didn't like it. Spike was even more confident than usual. He was acting like he belonged in this house. Giles looked around and noticed other things. There was a pack of cigarettes on the table, Spike's brand, and he'd seen bags of blood in the fridge so it looked like Spike was a frequent visitor. It just didn't make sense. Buffy hated Spike, they all did. In fact Dawn was the only one who could tolerate him. So why was he here? And why did Giles feel like he was the intruder, not Spike.  
  
Spike stood up, "I have to go out for a bit. Do a little patrolling, that kind of thing."  
  
Giles looked up from his book, "Oh I'm sorry. I thought that you were talking to someone who cared."  
  
Spike didn't say anything. He just grabbed his duster and walked out the door. He headed towards his crypt. The chaos demon should be asleep by now and he needed to check on his pet project. He was hoping to see some results tonight because so far nothing had happened. He'd tried different combinations but nothing had worked. It was starting to get frustrating.  
  
He went down to the lower levels of his crypt. The chaos demon was snoring away and the chair Spike had placed over the trapdoor was still there. He went down and inspected his projects. There was no change. He growled in frustration, stormed upstairs and headed out into the night.  
  
Slaying a few vampires and demons helped his bad mood. He finally stopped to rest on a headstone. He lit a cigarette and puffed thoughtfully. Ever since he'd taken over patrolling he'd noticed that the number of demons and vampires he'd slayed was increasing each night. Something was happening. He could feel it. The others were too preoccupied to notice even Buffy too was wrapped up in her pregnancy to notice.  
  
He threw down his cigarette and stalked off, shaking his head. He was getting as crazy as Drucilla. It was probably nothing, just a bunch of demons getting cocky. He wouldn't say anything to Buffy or the others. They probably wouldn't believe him anyway. He glanced at the sky. He was going to have to get back. It would be day soon and he was not turning into a pile of dust, not with a baby coming and the sense that something was happening, something that no one would foresee until it was too late. 


	17. Get Me To The Church on Time

Chapter Seventeen: Get Me to the Church on Time  
  
Spike gently shook Buffy awake, "Come on luv, wake up."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes a slit and moaned, "Go away."  
  
"Can't do that," Spike said. "We have a wedding to go to."  
  
"I'm not going," Buffy said.  
  
Spike took in her pale face and pained expression, "Are you still feeling sick?"  
  
She nodded, "I'm not going to make it to the wedding. I don't know how I'll last through the ceremony."  
  
Spike sat down on the bed and helped her sit up. She was able to sit up, leaning against him, "You can make it," Spike said. "Once you get up and get something in your stomach you might feel a lot better."  
  
Buffy sighed. She wasn't going to get anywhere arguing with Spike and she might as well see if his suggestion helped. With Spike's help she showered, dressed and got everything she would need for the wedding ready.  
  
They walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Giles, Willow and Dawn were sitting at the island, eating breakfast. Giles looked up as Spike and Buffy walked into the kitchen, "Good you're up," He told Buffy. "I made breakfast. No doubt you've been eating horribly while I've been in England so I made you a proper breakfast." He gestured to the plate of pancakes, eggs, sausages and bacon.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said, covering her mouth and nose. "But I'm really not hungry."  
  
Giles filled a plate and handed it to Buffy, "You need to eat something. It's going to be a long day and you probably won't get a chance to eat until the reception."  
  
Buffy stared down at the plate and the smells became too much for her. She dropped it and ran as fast as she could for the bathroom. Spike paused long enough to glare at Giles and then followed Buffy. There he held her as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Finally she collapsed against him, "I can't do this," Buffy gasped. "Not anymore."  
  
"Yes, you can," Spike said, wiping off her face. "You can do anything that you set your mind too."  
  
"Not this," Buffy moaned.  
  
Spike didn't say anything. He was starting to get concerned too. Lately it seemed like Buffy's morning sickness was coming at all hours and getting worse all the time. According to the midwife, Sarah, there was really nothing either one of them could do, though. "Come on," Spike said, helping Buffy off the floor. "Why don't we try that tea Sarah gave you? She said that sometimes helps."  
  
Buffy nodded, "Right now I'll try anything."  
  
When they went back into the kitchen Willow and Dawn were gone but Giles was still there, looking at Buffy with concern, "Are you still not feeling well?"  
  
"I'll be okay," Buffy said, sitting down and resting her forehead against her hand.  
  
"Are you sure?" Giles asked, concerned. "Maybe you should see a doctor."  
  
"I have," Buffy said. "I'm fine."  
  
"Here," Spike said, handing Buffy a cup with the herbal tea in it. "See if this helps."  
  
"What's that?" Giles asked suspiciously.  
  
"It's a tea that's supposed to help my stomach," Buffy said, taking slow sips. She picked up her cup and said, "I'm going to go finish getting ready. I'll get dressed at the church but I need to do my hair." She looked at Giles and Spike, "And there had better not be any blood on the floor when I get back." Then she walked out of the kitchen.  
  
As soon as Buffy was out of earshot Giles turned to Spike and said, "Alright, now what's really going on here? Buffy never gets sick. Is something going on that I should know about?"  
  
"No," Spike lied.  
  
Giles eyed him, "Something is going on and I want to know what it is, now."  
  
Spike sighed, "Just back off for right now. She'll tell you what's going on but don't force her too."  
  
"Do you have anything to do with this?" Giles asked suspiciously. He was sure now that something was going on and Spike had something to do with it. He just wished that Buffy would confide in him.  
  
"Just let her explain everything," Spike said. He knew that if he told Giles that he had somehow gotten Buffy pregnant then Giles would flip. Buffy's friends were just starting to reconcile the idea of him and Buffy together. He wasn't going to drop a bomb like that, not with so much else going on.  
  
"Spike," Dawn said, hurrying into the kitchen. "Did you check on…." She noticed Giles standing there. "Oh sorry, did I interrupt something?"  
  
"No," Giles said. "I have to get ready for the wedding." He glanced at Spike. "We'll finish this later." Then he left the kitchen.  
  
"So did you check on them?" Dawn asked excitedly.  
  
"Yes," Spike said, finishing up his mug of blood. "And no, nothing to report."  
  
"Why not?" Dawn asked. "I can't figure out what we're doing wrong. Maybe Tara can help. She knows more about them than we do."  
  
"No," Spike said. "No one can know about this, not yet. Buffy would flip if she knew what we were doing and Tara wouldn't want to help us either." He looked at Dawn. Her hair was curled and her make-up was applied perfectly. He grinned at her, "You look beautiful, Nibblet."  
  
Dawn blushed and said, "Thanks, now go get ready. Buffy and Willow want to leave as soon as they get ready."  
  
Spike groaned. He had been hoping that he could delay putting on the monkey suit that Xander was forcing him to wear but he knew that he had no choice now. He headed up the stairs with Dawn calling behind him, "If you need help with your tie, let me know!"  
  
Spike quickly dressed, wishing for the first time in a long time that he had a reflection to help him with this bloody tie. On second thought he was glad that he didn't have to look at himself. He hadn't willingly worn any kind of suit since he'd become a vampire.  
  
"Spike!" Willow yelled from downstairs. "Come on. We need to get going!"  
  
Spike slowly walked down stairs, wearing everything but his tie and jacket.  
  
"Wow," Buffy said, watching him come down the stairs. "You look great." She tried not to think about how incredibly sexy he looked in his tux. For a few minutes her attention was diverted from her queasy stomach and all she could think about was dragging Spike up the stairs, throwing him onto her bed and as Spike put it 'shagging their brains out'.  
  
Willow gave her a strange look and whispered, "You okay?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, trying to come to her senses, "Yeah," She whispered back. "Hormones." That was the only explanation she could think of.  
  
"Thanks," Spike said, pleased at how Buffy was looking at him. "Now let's go. The sooner I can get out of this bloody monkey suit the better," He raised his eyebrows at Buffy. She blushed as she realized that he had read her mind.  
  
They managed to make it to the hall where the wedding was being held. Dawn, Buffy and Willow went into the bride's room to change and Giles and Spike went into Xander's room.  
  
"Spike," Xander said, when they went in. "Looking good."  
  
"Watch it, monkey boy," Spike said. "There's a few demons out there who owe me a favor…"  
  
"Okay, okay," Xander said. He decided to leave Spike alone. He was nervous enough without having to add an irritated vampire to his worries.  
  
"So now what do we do?" Spike asked, sitting down while Giles and Xander greeted each other.  
  
"We sit here and wait," Xander said. "We have to wait until the women are ready. Willow's going to come and get us when they are." There was a knock at the door, "And I guess they are," Xander said, with a look of panic on his face.  
  
"I'll get it," Spike said. He opened the door and saw that it was Hallie, the vengeance demon. "Oh it's you."  
  
"William, please," She said. "Now isn't the time."  
  
"What. Do. You. Want. Bitch?" Spike asked, shocking both Xander and Giles.  
  
"You're needed in the lady's room," Hallie said, trying to ignore Spike's attitude.  
  
"Why?" Spike said, thinking of Buffy, worried that something had happened to her.  
  
"It's your knocked up girlfriend," Hallie said. "Her sister sent me to get you."  
  
"Why?" Spike asked, getting more alarmed. "What's wrong?"  
  
"She won't stop throwing up," Hallie said. At these words Spike hurried past Hallie, leaving a worried Xander and a confused Giles behind.  
  
"What were you talking about?" Giles asked. "Spike has a girlfriend?"  
  
"No," Xander said, distracted. He was nervous enough about the wedding and now he was worried about Buffy. He knew that she hadn't been feeling well the night before and it sounded like things hadn't improved.  
  
"Then who are you referring to?" Giles asked Hallie.  
  
"How's Anya?" Xander asked, trying to distract Giles.  
  
"She looks beautiful," Hallie said. She studied Xander for a moment, "You hurt her and I will wreck vengeance on you beyond your worst nightmares."  
  
"Understood," Xander said.  
  
Giles looked at Hallie and said, "I'm sorry, we haven't met before. I'm Rupert Giles."  
  
"Halfrek," She said.  
  
"So tell me," Giles asked. "What was that between you and Spike and who were you talking about?"  
  
"It's a long story," Hallie said. "And I'll fill you in after the wedding." She looked at him curiously, "And you should know who I'm talking about."  
  
"No," Giles said, ignoring Xander's frantic efforts to distract Halfrek.  
  
"I'm talking about Buffy," Hallie said. "Didn't you know? William somehow got her pregnant." 


	18. Keep Your Wits About You

Chapter Eighteen: Keep Your Wits About You  
  
Spike opened the door of the lady's room and hurried inside. Buffy was leaning against one of the bathroom stalls, Willow and Dawn hovering over her. Spike pushed them aside and knelt down next to and pulled her into his arms, "Hey luv, you okay?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "I was doing okay but then suddenly…." She pulled away from Spike and leaned over the toilet. She gagged up their was nothing left in her stomach to bring up.  
  
"Platelet, go see if you can find something to settle her stomach," Spike told her. Dawn nodded and hurried out of the bathroom.  
  
"I hate you," Buffy said, even though she was leaning against Spike again. She looked at Willow, "And I really hate Tara too."  
  
"I'm sorry," Spike said. And he meant it. He hated seeing her like this, knowing that it was his fault and there was nothing that he could do to help. He was just lucky that there wasn't a stake nearby or his life wouldn't be worth much. He helped her to her feet and said, "Come on, I'll take you home."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, no, I'll be okay."  
  
"Ah luv, you can hardly stand. How are you going to make it down the aisle and through the ceremony?"  
  
"I can do it," Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy," Willow said. "I'm sure Anya and Xander will understand if you can't make it."  
  
"Well I won't," Buffy said. "I'll be fine," She looked at Spike, "Just help me to the bride's room."  
  
Spike exchanged a look with Willow. He thought that Buffy should go home and get some rest and it was obvious that Willow thought the same thing but Spike knew this was one argument he wasn't going to win, "Okay," Spike said. He and Willow helped Buffy to bride room. There Tara was just finishing buttoning up Anya's dress.  
  
"Are you okay?" Tara asked, concerned.  
  
Buffy nodded as she sank down on the couch, "I'll live."  
  
Just then the door opened and Dawn hurried in with a packet of crackers and a can of Sprite, "Here, Xander's cousin said that this should help." She looked at Anya and said, "Who's that weird short guy out there?"  
  
"What weird short guy?" Anya asked, studying herself in the mirror.  
  
"The one, who's going around telling women that he'll grant them a wish in exchange for their first born," She looked at her sister, "Stay away from him, Buffy."  
  
Anya's eyes lit up, "Rumpy? He made it? I didn't think he would."  
  
"Who?" Dawn asked.  
  
"An old friend of mine," Anya said, adjusting her dress. "He's a kind of wishing demon. He grants wishes but they have a price." She studied herself, "Okay, I think I'm ready."  
  
"Do you have everything?" Tara asked. "Something old, new, borrowed and blue?"  
  
"Let's see," Anya said, thinking. "I just bought these earrings so they're new." She looked around frantically. "But I don't have the rest. I forgot this tradition. Oh no, it's bad luck, the wedding's going to be ruined."  
  
Spike exchanged a look with Buffy, and said, "I think I have a solution." He grabbed Buffy's purse and pulled out his mother's necklace. "This was my mother's so it's old. The stones are blue and Buffy wants it back."  
  
Anya stared at it, "It's beautiful." With Willow's help she put it on.  
  
"I want it back," Buffy said. She wasn't sure why that necklace meant so much to her but it did.  
  
"So are you ready to start?" Dawn asked, eagerly.  
  
Anya looked around, "Where's Hallie? I can't have a wedding without my maid of honor."  
  
"Come on Red," Spike said. "We'll go get her and let the let monkey boy know that you guys are ready." He looked at Buffy and said, "You gonna be okay?"  
  
"I'll be fine," Buffy said.  
  
Spike studied her for a minute and then nodded. He and Willow headed down the room where Xander, Giles and Xander's cousins were waiting. Just as Spike and Willow reached the door Hallie came out.  
  
"What does it take to get rid of you?" Spike asked, annoyed at the sight of her.  
  
Hallie ignored him and said, "I think something's up with that old guy. What's his name, Giles?"  
  
Willow was immediately alarmed, "What happened to Giles?"  
  
"I don't know," Hallie said. "I just mentioned that William had gotten Buffy pregnant and he got all weird."  
  
"Do you set out to ruin everything for me or is it just a gift?" Spike asked.  
  
"I thought he knew," Hallie protested. "Everyone else seems to know so I just assumed that he did too."  
  
"Well you know what they say about assuming," Spike snapped. He stared at the door, wondering if it was safe to go in but then he started forward. He was Spike a.k.a. William the Bloody, he'd killed people on every continent, been tortured by a god and had hung out with some of the most feared vampires ever. He could handle a ticked off librarian, right?  
  
Spike slowly opened the door and went inside. Xander was nervously pacing, Giles was sitting with a shocked expression on his face, cleaning his glasses and two of Xander's cousins were standing around awkwardly, waiting to fulfill their duties as ushers. They all looked up as Spike and Willow came in.  
  
"Everyone's ready," Willow said. "Ready to get married?"  
  
Xander gulped and nodded. Spike sighed, irritated, took out his flask and handed it to Xander, "Here," Spike said. "Take a drink of this."  
  
Xander obeyed and then looked at Spike, "What is this stuff?"  
  
"Very strong bourbon," Spike explained. "If that doesn't calm you down then nothing will." He carefully avoided any eye contact with Giles. Maybe he didn't believe what Cecily had told him and everything would be okay.  
  
"Let's go then," Xander's cousin said. They all stood up and headed out the door. Xander went to the front with the judge who was performing the ceremony while everyone else waited in back for the bridesmaids to join them.  
  
"I best go sit down," Giles said. As he headed into the main room he passed by Spike and said, low enough so that only they heard, "You and I need to have a little talk later."  
  
Spike didn't get a chance to answer because just as Giles sat down the bridesmaids showed up. Spike looked at Buffy. She was pale and it was obvious that she wasn't feeling well but she had that stubborn look on her face that told Spike that she wasn't going anywhere. One of Xander's cousins took her arm and eyed her appreciatively.  
  
"Spike," Dawn said, taking his arm. "You can't hurt him until after the wedding."  
  
"I won't hurt him," Spike said, thinking of the searing migraine that he'd have if he did. "I just want to make it clear that she's taken."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes, "Come on." She and Spike took their places in line and began to walk down the aisle.  
  
Spike didn't pay much attention during the ceremony. He hadn't been to very many weddings when he was human and since then the only time he's seen a wedding had been when he'd seen them on TV. He hadn't found them very interesting then and he didn't find them very interesting now. He was more interested in watching Buffy.  
  
She didn't notice that he was watching her. She was too busy watching the ceremony. Spike thought she looked beautiful, despite the way the green dress reflected off her pale complexion. He noticed that she seemed to be holding her breath a little, too but she did look beautiful.  
  
With a start he realized that the wedding was over and he had to escort Dawn back down the aisle, "They actually went through with it," Spike whispered to Dawn.  
  
"You didn't think they would?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Can never be sure with humans," Spike said.  
  
As soon as they got to the reception hall Dawn abandoned Spike to go talk with a demon she'd met at the rehearsal dinner so Spike went to find Buffy. He found her leaning against a pillar, watching people dance.  
  
"Feel like dancing, luv?" Spike asked, slipping his arm around her.  
  
She leaned against him, "No."  
  
"Want to go home?" Spike asked.  
  
She shook her head, "No, I promised Anya I'd stay at least until she throws the bouquet."  
  
"I never understood that tradition," Spike said. "Catching a bunch of wilted flowers doesn't mean that you'll be the next one to walk down the bloody aisle."  
  
"I know but it's her wedding day," Buffy said. "And I can last until then."  
  
"Are you feeling any better?"  
  
She shrugged, "I'll live. No one told me morning sickness lasted all day, though."  
  
"Why don't you try and eat something," Spike suggested. "It might settle your stomach a little."  
  
She shook her head, "No, I couldn't keep it down. "  
  
"You need to eat something," Spike said, remembering all the times he'd said that to Dru.  
  
"There's no point in eating if I can't keep it down," Buffy pointed out.  
  
Spike started to object but then he noticed Giles, looking very unhappy, dancing with a female vengeance demon, "Something you should know, pet. Your ex-Watcher found out about us."  
  
She glared at him, "There is no us, Spike. We're having a baby, that's it."  
  
Spike sighed, irritated, "Well he knows about that too."  
  
"How?" Buffy asked, alarmed. "What did you do?"  
  
"I didn't tell him," Spike said. "I don't have a death wish. That vengeance demons did," He rolled his eyes, "That bloody bitch had real talent for turning my life upside down."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Nothing," He said. "Anyway, she just blurted out to Giles that I was responsible for your present condition."  
  
Buffy shut her eyes, "No, no, this is not happening."  
  
"'Fraid it is happening, luv," Spike said. "He's headed this way.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and saw that Giles had gotten away from the vengeance demon and was making his way towards them. 


	19. Touchy Subjects

Chapter Nineteen: Touchy Subjects  
  
"Come on," Spike said, taking Buffy by the arm and pulling her towards the door. "Let's get out of here."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "Giles has a right to know what is going on."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "Tell him the whole sordid story and you can call our child Baby Big Pile of Dust."  
  
"This baby is going to be a Summers," Buffy said, realizing that she didn't even know Spike's last name.  
  
Before Spike could reply Giles had joined them. Giles wasn't an idiot. He had seen Spike put his arm around Buffy and she hadn't objected. On the contrary she had leaned against him and made no effort to pull away. He also noticed Buffy's white face, how her dress looked a little tight and the way she had reacted to his offer of breakfast this morning. It all seemed to make a horrible sense. He just wanted to hear it from Buffy's own lips.  
  
"Spike," Giles said curtly. Then he changed his tone, "Buffy, we need to talk."  
  
"Anything you want to say to Buffy you can bloody well say in front of me," Spike said.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said. "It'll be okay."  
  
They glared at each other for a minute and then Spike said, "Fine, I have a score to settle anyway." He stalked off and Buffy saw him grab Halfrek's arm and drag her into a side room.  
  
"What's going on with those two?" Giles asked, watching Spike and Hallie.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "Spike just said that they knew each other when they were human but he won't tell me any more."  
  
"Well he certainly seems to dislike her," Giles said. "He was quite rude to her when she came to tell him that you weren't feeling well." He looked at her carefully, "Is there something that you want to tell me?"  
  
Buffy sighed, "Not here." She turned and walked down to one of the empty rooms. Giles followed and closed the door behind them. Buffy sat down on the couch, Giles next to her.  
  
They were silent for a moment and then Giles said, gently, "Buffy, what's going on?"  
  
Buffy sighed, "What do you want me to say, that I'm pregnant with Spike's child? All right, consider it said."  
  
Giles shut his eyes and cleaned his glasses, "I can't believe this. How could something that this happen?"  
  
"Giles," Buffy said slowly. "If you don't know how this happened then we need to have a little talk."  
  
"I'm painfully aware of how your child was conceived," Giles said. "I just don't understand how it could have happened. Spike is a vampire and vampires are incapable of fathering children."  
  
"That's what we thought," Buffy said. "That's why we didn't use any protection," She decided not to tell Giles that protection was usually the last thing on her or Spike's mind. He was probably going to be traumatized enough by the time she was done talking to him.  
  
"So how is it possible…?"  
  
"Tara," Buffy said. "I've known for a long time that Spike can hit me now.."  
  
"What?" Giles said, alarmed. "Has his chip stopped working?"  
  
"No," Buffy assured him. "The chip's still working. Tara said that when I came back my molecular structure was messed up enough to confuse his chip. When she found out that Spike could hit me she decided to try a spell that would make Spike completely harmless."  
  
"How is that possible?" Giles asked.  
  
"She tried to make him human," Buffy explained. "And the spell worked. We've figured that when the spell was cast just long enough for us to conceive this child and we were just too…preoccupied to notice what happened."  
  
Giles shook his head and cleaned his glasses again, "I've only heard of this happening once but it was between two vampires and a prophecy involved. But there's no record of a slayer ever having a child."  
  
"I'm not slaying," Buffy said. "Spike threatened to chain me down in his crypt if I didn't stop slaying until after the baby's born. All my friends are helping patrol and Tara cast an illusion spell to make it look like I'm doing to slaying."  
  
"Sounds like a wise idea," Giles said. "So how do you feel about this pregnancy?"  
  
Buffy put her hand on her stomach, "I don't know. When I first found out that I was pregnant the first thing I wanted to do was to just get rid of it but Spike wouldn't let me."  
  
"And now?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy sighed, "Sometimes I don't know how I feel about this child, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing but I do know that despite everything I do love and want this child more than anything."  
  
Giles nodded, "And how does Spike fit into all this?"  
  
"I hate him," Buffy said, bluntly. "I hate him but much as I hate to admit it I need him. He and this baby are the only things that make me feel alive. That's part of why I turned to him and kept coming back for more."  
  
"So what happened wasn't quite a one time thing," Giles said.  
  
"No," Buffy admitted. "That's what I wanted it to be, just a one time thing but I just kept coming back. Even now…."  
  
"Is he living with you?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy admitted. "He wants to keep an eye on me." She smiled, "He acts like he really wants all this but deep down I know that it's not real." She suddenly looked at Giles, "He can't love. He doesn't have a soul and none of his feelings are real. Anything he might feel for this child isn't real and one day my baby is going to realize that his or her father is incapable of loving them. How can I expose a child to that kind of pain?"  
  
"I am in no way defending Spike," Giles said. "But from what I've seen Spike is capable of great emotion. He's spent most of his life as a vampire taking care of Drucillia and while you were gone he spent most of his time taking care of Dawn."  
  
"I know," Buffy said. "Willow's said the same thing and I know that Spike knows how to take care of a child but can he love one the way it deserves to be loved?"  
  
"I don't know," Giles said. "I've only heard of one instance where a soulless vampire truly loved someone other than herself."  
  
"Who was that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Angel's former lover, Darla," Giles explained. "She loved her and Angel's unborn child enough to stake herself so that he could live."  
  
Meanwhile…..  
  
"Alright William," Hallie snapped as Spike dragged her into an empty room and shut the door. "We're alone. Now what is it you want to say?"  
  
"First of all," Spike said. "Don't ever call me that again. My name is Spike now, remember that."  
  
"Fine, Spike," Hallie said with emphases on the name. "What do you want?"  
  
"Get. The. Bloody. Hell. Out. Of. My. Life," Spike said. "Leave town. I don't care where you go, just get out of my life before you completely turn it upside down again."  
  
"I thought you liked what happened last time we crossed paths," Hallie pointed out. "You said that you should thank me."  
  
"Oh believe me," Spike snarled. "I do but I finally have a good thing here and I am not going to let a wrinkled bitch like you mess it up." She reached out and slapped him. Spike grinned at her and said, "Tables have turned, haven't they? Time was I was beneath you, now you're the one who's beneath me."  
  
"What are you babbling about," Hallie snapped. "You were always good at that. I remember the poems you used to write. Do your friends know about that? Do they think that you were called William the Bloody because you had some kind of fierce reputation?" Spike didn't say anything, "They do," She laughed. "They don't know that you were a pathetic little man who wrote poetry that even he didn't like. Oh I can't wait to spread that around the demon world."  
  
Spike grabbed her by the throat and threw her up against the wall, "You say one word and I will hand you over to some old friends of mine. They love experimenting with demons."  
  
"The same group that chipped you?" Hallie asked, shoving him away from her. "What makes you think they'll help you?"  
  
"I have contacts," Spike snapped.  
  
"Who?" She asked. "Your knocked up girlfriend's ex? I hear you two are best friends."  
  
"No," Spike admitted. "But I'm sure he'd be glad to take a pesky vengeance demon off my hands."  
  
"After he stakes you when he finds out that you got his favorite Slayer pregnant," Hallie said. "Or I could just tell her what kind of man you used to be. See what kind of father her child's going to have."  
  
"Stay away from her," Spike warned.  
  
"Oh you don't want her to know who you really were?" Hallie taunted. "William the Bloody poet, lovesick sap who followed me like a little puppy. You don't want her to know that your mother went insane after your father and brother died, that you spent most of your childhood bruised and limping from your uncle's beatings, your 'unnatural' closeness to little Charlotte." She stared at him thoughtfully, "Maybe that's why you killed her husband, because you couldn't bare anyone touching your baby sister but you."  
  
Spike punched her with all his strength. She landed on the floor and before she could recover he grabbed her and threw her back up against the wall, his hands around her neck, squeezing, "Once again you're talking about things you know nothing about," Spike growled, his face vamped out.  
  
He squeezed her neck, knowing that he really couldn't kill her but wishing he could. All he could hear were her insults about his beloved mother and his precious little sister. He didn't even hear the door open or Willow's shouts. He didn't realize what had happened until he was thrown back against the wall by a spell from Tara.  
  
"What happened?" Willow asked, bending down by a gasping Hallie. Willow looked at Spike, accusingly, "What did you do?"  
  
"Ask her," Spike growled, getting to his feet, his face still vamped out.  
  
"We…we had a little disagreement," Hallie said, as Willow helped her to her feet.  
  
"What about?" Tara asked Spike.  
  
"Nothing," Spike growled. He didn't want to have to explain everything to people that he knew wouldn't believe him anyway. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"She's still talking to Giles," Dawn said, coming into the room to see what was going on.  
  
Spike headed off to find her, stopping only to look at Hallie and said, "You don't know what you're talking about. Just remember this, I would have never hurt Charlotte. I would have died before I would have ever let anyone touch her, including me."  
  
Dawn took Spike's arm, "Spike, calm down."  
  
Spike ignored Dawn and continued, "Stay away from me and stay away from Buffy."  
  
"Truth hurts, doesn't it, William?" Hallie taunted. "Still can't face what you did to your baby sister," She looked at Dawn. "I guess I understand why you're so friendly with Dawn."  
  
Spike lunged at Hallie again only to be held back by Dawn, "Come on, Spike," Dawn said. "Let's go find Buffy."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. He looked back at Hallie and told her, "Stay away from me and if you ever mention Charlotte again then you'll wish that you had never met me." Then he turned and stalked off, followed by Dawn.  
  
"What was that all about?" Willow asked.  
  
Hallie shrugged, "William always was the sensitive type." 


	20. Floating Falling Sweet Intoxication

Chapter Twenty: Floating Falling Sweet Intoxication  
  
"What did you just say?" Buffy gasped. "Darla and Angel have…a son?"  
  
Giles looked at her concerned, "Yes, they have a son, Conner. I thought that you knew."  
  
Buffy wasn't listening. She heard Spike telling her to ask Angel about Conner. He had known too. "Who all knows this?" She managed to say.  
  
"I suspect most of the demon world does. The Watcher's Council learned of the child practically from the moment he was born," He studied Buffy carefully, "I was sure you knew."  
  
"I've been a little busy lately," Buffy said absently.  
  
"I'm sorry," Giles said. "I know this must be a shock."  
  
Buffy stood up and began to pace around the room. Angel had a son? And he'd had that son with someone other than her. How could that happen? She knew that she had no right to be angry with him. After all she was having a child with Spike, someone Angel hated but she remembered how Angel had told her that him ever having a child was out of the question and that had been one of the reasons he had left her. Because children were part of the normal life he had wanted her to have.  
  
"Are you alright?" Giles asked, concerned.  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said. "This was just a big surprise."  
  
"Yes, it must be," Giles said. "Does Angel know about your pregnancy?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "And he's not going to find out, not right now anyway. Telling him would have to mean admitting that I've been sleeping with Spike."  
  
Suddenly the door opened and Spike stormed in, "Come on, we're going."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. She saw Dawn following him in, "What happened?"  
  
"Nothing," Spike said.  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn for an answer and Dawn said, "Spike got into a fight with Anya's maid of honor."  
  
Buffy shut her eyes, "You did what? What were you thinking? Is there anywhere I can take you?"  
  
Spike was having a hard time hold onto his temper, and he snapped, "Let's just get out of here."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "You've done enough damage. Now we're staying."  
  
"Fine," Spike said, ripping off his jacket and tie. "I'm leaving then. If I am ever in the same room as that bitch again I'll kill her." Then he stalked off.  
  
"Nice going," Dawn said, glaring at Buffy.  
  
"He attacked a bridesmaid for no reason," Buffy said. "What do you expect me to do?"  
  
"Spike wouldn't attack someone for no reason," Dawn defended him.  
  
"Well what was his reason?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I don't know," Dawn said. "But she said something about his sister and he totally freaked."  
  
"Spike has a sister?" Giles asked.  
  
"He did," Buffy said.  
  
"And when Hallie mentioned her he went nuts," Dawn said.  
  
"What did she say?" Buffy asked. She knew that Spike was sensitive when it came to his human family but she didn't think that he'd react this way.  
  
"Nothing that made sense," Dawn said.  
  
Buffy started to say something but then someone yelled that Anya was about to throw the bouquet so Buffy and Dawn joined the other single women in their frenzy to catch the bouquet.  
  
They didn't stay to watch Anya's demon friend gloat over her victory in catching the bouquet. Buffy was tired so she decided to take Dawn home. Willow and Tara were slow dancing in a corner and looked like they didn't want to be disturbed so just Dawn, Giles and Buffy went home.  
  
"Spike," Buffy called out as they walked in the house. "Are you here?" There was no answer.  
  
"Where is he?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Probably out playing kitten poker," Buffy said, heading up the stairs to change out of her bridesmaid dress. The dress had been tight when she put it now and now it was becoming almost unbearable.  
  
"Kitten poker?" Giles asked Dawn. Dawn shook her head. She didn't know what Buffy was talking about. "Well why don't you get changed. I'll see about some dinner."  
  
Dawn nodded. She went upstairs, changed into something comfortable and came back downstairs. Giles was in the kitchen, stirring something.  
  
"Smells good," Dawn said. "What is it?"  
  
"Chicken soup," Giles said.  
  
"Can't wait to taste it," Dawn said.  
  
"Me neither," Buffy said, coming down into the kitchen.  
  
"You're feeling better, then?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "Yeah, for now." She sat down on one of the stools and said, "I didn't think morning sickness was going to be this bad."  
  
"What does your doctor say?" Giles asked, stirring the soup.  
  
"I'm seeing a midwife," Buffy explained. "And she says that I'm fine. She gave me some tea that's supposed to help."  
  
"Has it?"  
  
"Too soon to tell," Buffy said. "I just started trying it."  
  
"Doesn't seem to be helping," Dawn said.  
  
"Shut up," Buffy snapped.  
  
Giles intervened by handing each girl a bowl of soup and soon they were all eating. When they were done Dawn and Buffy offered to clean up but Giles insisted that he could handle it so they went into the living room. Dawn sat on the couch and anxiously stared out the window.  
  
"Where is he?" Dawn asked.  
  
Buffy sighed, annoyed, "Spike can take care of himself. He's survived this long. I think he'll be fine."  
  
Dawn shook her head, "He was so upset. You didn't see. I've never seen him that angry before."  
  
"Spike's been angry before. He'll probably stumble home before dawn, drunk, beaten up and lost a fortune in kitten poker."  
  
"Don't you care?" Dawn asked, angrily. "Spike is out there and he's hurt and angry. Doesn't that bother you?" Buffy didn't say anything. "You don't do you? I can't believe you. Spike would do anything for you. He's done everything he can to help you and all you do is think about how you feel."  
  
"You don't have a clue what you're talking about," Buffy snapped.  
  
"I'm not stupid," Dawn told her. "The only reason you're with Spike is because you know that you can do whatever you want to him and he'll come back for more. You're just using him and you know it."  
  
"It's not that simple," Buffy protested.  
  
"Yes it is," Dawn told her. "You don't love Spike but you're still sleeping with him. He's giving you everything he can but all you can do is use him."  
  
"He's not the only one giving," Buffy pointed out. "I'm the one having this baby. I'm letting him live with us and I've given up my job, my calling, everything to have this baby."  
  
"And who's paying the bills?" Dawn asked. "I know you're not working and Spike spends hours on the phone each day, trying to sell people credit cards. He hates it but he's not complaining because he wants to provide for all of us." She didn't tell Buffy about her and Spike's secret project. Spike had warned her not to until it was underway and profitable. "He loves you and would do anything for you and you won't do a thing for him."  
  
"Dawn," Giles said, warningly as he came into the living room.  
  
"What?" Dawn snapped. "I'm only telling her the truth. I'm the only one besides Spike who will."  
  
"Spike's not the innocent in all this," Giles told her.  
  
"Why?" Dawn asked. "Because he got Buffy pregnant? Well from what I've heard she's the one who kept going to him, not the other way around and Buffy did not get pregnant by herself." She looked at Buffy and Giles and then stomped over to the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Giles asked, following her.  
  
"I'm going to find Spike," Dawn said. "If you don't care about him then I do and someone has to find him."  
  
Dawn and Giles glared at each other and finally Giles said, "Fine, I'll go find him."  
  
"Good," Dawn said. Then she stormed upstairs, not looking at either Buffy or Giles and muttering under her breath, "And he better not come back without him."  
  
After Dawn had gone upstairs Buffy looked at Giles and said, "You don't have to go find Spike. He'll probably stumble home in a few hours."  
  
Giles nodded, "I know but if it will give Dawn some peace of mind I'll go. Where do you think he might be?"  
  
"Check his crypt or some bar," Buffy suggested. "Willy's probably. Check the back room. He might be playing cards."  
  
Giles nodded and headed out the door. He had no idea why he was trying to find Spike. He didn't even like him. He was just doing this to give Dawn some peace of mind. He knew that Dawn and Spike had always had a close relationship but it must have grown since he had moved in with her and Buffy.  
  
He walked down the street and finally found Willy's bar. He walked inside, and looked around. Finally he saw his target. Spike was sitting at the bar, a shot glass and a bottle in front of him. Giles walked over and sat down next to him.  
  
"Watcher," Spike said. "What you doin' here?"  
  
"I'm ah here to bring you home," Giles said. "Dawn's worried about you."  
  
"Well you can go home and tell the Nibblet not to worry about me. I'm fine. Me and my friend, Jack here are having a bloody good time."  
  
"Well I think Dawn would rather see for herself that you're fine. So why don't you come with me?"  
  
Spike took another drink from the bottle and said, "No, gonna stay right here."  
  
"Until when?" Giles said impatiently.  
  
"Until I…" Spike didn't finish his sentence. He just took a long drink from the bottle. He looked at Giles for a second, "Wanna go play some poker? Got a friend who owes me a few tabbies."  
  
"No..thank you, Spike. Now let's go." He took Spike's arm and started to pull him away but Spike yanked himself free.  
  
"I'll leave when I bloody well feel like it." Spike snarled.  
  
Giles decided to try a different approach, "Spike, what happened today at the wedding between you and that demon?"  
  
Spike studied Giles for a minute and then said, "Nothing you'd understand, Watcher. The bitch and I have a history, a long painful history that she chose to remind me of."  
  
"What happened?" Giles asked.  
  
"Nothing," Spike yelled, throwing the empty bottle down and grabbing a new one.  
  
"Well it obviously was something," Giles said. "Who was she to you?"  
  
Spike ignored Giles and pulled a worn, yellowed black and white picture from his pocket. He stared at it for a long time. It was a picture of a young woman with light curly hair.  
  
"Who is that?" Giles asked, gesturing to the picture.  
  
"No one," Spike said shortly.  
  
"She must be someone," Giles said. "You're carrying her picture around. Is that your sister?"  
  
"Who told you about her?" Spike growled, holding the picture protectively.  
  
"Dawn," Giles explained. "She said that you had a sister and that was why you argued with that demon."  
  
"She's lying," Spike slurred, staring at the picture. "That bitch is lying. I never touched Charlotte. I would have died first. Should have killed him, bloody cowered died before I could. Had to make due with his poof of a son."  
  
"Spike," Giles said, trying to make sense of Spike' s drunken ramblings. "You're drunk."  
  
"Bloody right," Spike said. "And I plan to get drunker."  
  
"Why don't you let me take you home and you can pass out there," Giles suggested.  
  
"Nah," Spike said. "Gonna stay right here until I feel like leaving."  
  
"Spike, what's going on?" Giles asked. "And you might as well tell me because I'm not leaving here without you."  
  
"She was so beautiful," Spike said, as though he hadn't heard Giles. "From the moment she was born and Nanny let me hold them." He studied Giles for a second and then took a long drink. "You and the Slayer think that I'm not capable of love but I loved them, more than I had ever loved anyone. We were the three bloody musketeers for five years and then it was just Charlotte and me."  
  
"Who are you talking about?" Giles asked. Spike didn't make sense under normal circumstances and even less so now that he was drunk. "Your sister?"  
  
Spike slammed the empty bottle on the bar, "Don't ever mention her again!"  
  
"Fine," Giles said, impatiently. "Now why don't you let me take you home. Dawn's worried about you."  
  
"She doesn't have to. Toke care of myself before I met her and I can take care of myself again."  
  
"Well obviously you can't take care of yourself," Giles snapped. He was getting more and more impatient with Spike and he didn't like the way some of those demons were looking at him. "Now let's get out of here." Spike ignored him so Giles said, "How about we go back to your crypt. You can drink all you want there."  
  
"Chaos demon's stayin' there," Spike said. "Usually try to avoid those things."  
  
Giles had had enough of Spike's drunken ramblings so he did the one thing he could think of. He grabbed Spike by the collar and punched him. Spike staggered but he didn't fall.  
  
"I'm not 12 anymore," Spike slurred. "You don't control me." And before Giles could react Spike grabbed him by the throat and started squeezing but almost instantly Spike let go and grabbed his head as he let out a cry of pain. As the pain eased Spike looked at Giles but saw someone else, "What did you do to me, uncle? What did you do to me?"  
  
Giles didn't have a clue what Spike was talking about but by then Spike was almost unconscious so he grabbed the unruly vampire and began to drag him home. 


	21. Journey To The Past

Chapter Twenty-One: Journey To the Past  
  
Dawn hurried downstairs and saw Giles preparing breakfast, "Where's Spike?" She asked anxiously.  
  
"He's in the basement, passed out," Giles said impatiently. He'd had to practically drag Spike home from the bar and then down the stairs into the basement. Once they were in the basement Spike had promptly passed out.  
  
"Is he okay?" Dawn asked.  
  
"He's fine," Giles said, annoyed. "Probably has a hangover that you wouldn't believe but he'll survive."  
  
Dawn nodded. She quickly heated up some blood and hurried downstairs to check on her friend. He was lying on the floor, passed out. Dawn knelt down next to him and gently shook him, "Spike, come on, wake up."  
  
Spike moaned, opened his eyes and said, "Nibblet?"  
  
"Here," Dawn said, helping him to sit up and handing him a mug of blood.  
  
"Ugh," He said, taking a drink. "I feel like my bloody head's splitting open."  
  
"Don't get drunk then," Dawn said, unsympathetically.  
  
"Easier said than done," Spike said. "How's Buffy?"  
  
"She's still sleeping," Dawn said. She looked at him concerned, "What happened yesterday? What did Halfrek say to you?"  
  
"It's not important," Spike said.  
  
"But you…"  
  
"I said that it wasn't important," Spike snapped.  
  
"She said something about your sister, didn't she?" Dawn asked. "I heard her talking about her. Look you can tell me about it."  
  
"No," Spike said. "I can't."  
  
"Why not?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Because you don't really want to know," Spike said.  
  
"Yes, I do," Dawn said.  
  
Spike studied her for a moment and then said, "Fine, if you really want to know I'll tell you but it's not a pretty story."  
  
"It can't be worse than anything you've told me before," Dawn said.  
  
"It's worse," Spike said. "And you have to promise me that you're not going to go telling anyone about this."  
  
"Why?" Dawn asked.  
  
"You'll understand when I tell you."  
  
"Okay," Dawn agreed, anxious to heard what Spike had to say.  
  
"You know that my father died when I was young and his brother became our guardian, right?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. "You told me that."  
  
"Well he didn't pay much attention to the twins at first. They were just babies. I was the one he was interested in, the bloody heir and all that. Wanted to control me, had my whole life planned out. I went along with it. I was ten. I had just lost my father, Mother was distraught and I needed someone to depend on."  
  
"Like when my mom died," Dawn said.  
  
"Yeah only your sister loved you. My uncle hated me. I didn't notice it too much. I was busy spending all my free time with Charles and Charlotte, playing in the nursery, the gardens."  
  
"Sounds like fun."  
  
"It was," Spike said. "But when I was 15 Charles died of scarlet fever. Mother was so distraught that she spent the rest of her life in some kind of denial, always insisting that Father and Charles were on a trip and would be back soon."  
  
"But she still had you and your sister," Dawn pointed out.  
  
"She wasn't strong enough," Spike admitted. "Father was her whole life and without him she didn't want to live so she didn't, especially after losing Charles. She just left Charlotte and me alone. My uncle didn't pay too much attention to us either so it was just the two of us."  
  
"So what happened?" Dawn asked.  
  
"By then Charlotte had grown up a little," Spike explained. "She was only five but she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." He pulled out the picture he'd been looking at last night and handed it to Dawn.  
  
Dawn studied it for a minute and said, "She was beautiful."  
  
"After Charles died," Spike continued. "My uncle practically moved in with us. I didn't mind as long as he left me alone. The problem was that every night I had to tell him what I'd learned during the day and if he didn't like what he heard…."  
  
Dawn looked at the vampire in front of her, trying to picture Spike her age, being beaten by his uncle. "Did he hurt Charlotte too?"  
  
Spike shut his eyes, "Yes, but not in the same way. He never beat her. I knew he was hurting her some way but I never guessed what he was really doing to her." Spike didn't have to explain, the horror on Dawn's face told him that she had figured it out. "She finally confided in me and I confronted him. He denied it and gave me the beating of my life, worse than anything Angulus ever did to me. Only Glory and your sis ever did worse. Then he locked me in my room and once I recovered he sent me away to boarding school."  
  
"Wasn't that a good thing, though?" Dawn asked. "You were away from your uncle."  
  
"But I was separated from Charlotte," Spike explained. "And I wasn't able to protect her. Plus my uncle spread the rumor that he had sent me away because he was concerned about how close Charlotte and I had gotten. Before long the London gossips had twisted it until I was some kind of…." He shook his head. "Eventually the gossip died down but every time I went home Charlotte would look at me, begging me to help her and I couldn't."  
  
"What ever happened to Charlotte?" Dawn asked.  
  
"She was sent away to finishing school, partly at my insistence, partly because my uncle wanted her to be a proper young lady. I found out later that he wanted her to be a fitting bride for his son. Once I knew that she was safe away from my uncle I settled into my life as William the Bloody."  
  
Dawn shook her head, "How could someone who was so concerned for his sister be known as William the Bloody?"  
  
Spike studied her for a second, and then said, "If I tell you something will you swear never to tell anyone, not your sister, not anyone." Dawn nodded so Spike said. "I was called William the Bloody because I wrote such bloody awful…poetry." Dawn stared at Spike for a long time, stunned by what he had said and then she burst out laughing, "Can do without the laugh track, Lil Bit."  
  
"I'm sorry," Dawn giggled. "But I can't picture you as a poet. Did you write love poems to beautiful women?"  
  
"Yes," Spike said. "I did but she didn't want me and then I ran into Dru…."  
  
"Wow," Dawn said. She thought for a second, "But where does Halfrek fit into all this?"  
  
"Who do you think didn't want me?" Spike said.  
  
Dawn nodded. It all made sense, Spike's hostility towards Hallie and his reaction to her taunts about his sister. "So what happened to Charlotte after you were turned?"  
  
"Mother hung on long enough to make sure that Charlotte was safely married to my uncle's son. Then she died. I found this out about fifteen years after I was turned. I slipped away from my gang to see how she was doing. She had two sons, William and Charles."  
  
"Gee, I wonder who she named them after," Dawn said.  
  
"My cousin was just like his father," Spike explained. "I watched him one night as he beat my baby sister. Then I waited until she was asleep and managed to get inside. I drained Frederick dry and then stole some of Charlotte's jewelry to make it look like a robbery."  
  
"So Charlotte was free then," Dawn said. "You were able to save her."  
  
"I should have killed my uncle when I first found out what he was doing to her," Spike said. "I was fifteen but I should have done something." He shut his eyes, "She didn't deserve what she went through."  
  
"No one does," Dawn said. "But she knew that you loved her and you saved her from a life with your cousin. What more could you have done?"  
  
"Anything," Spike snapped.  
  
"There was nothing you could have done," Dawn said. "You did what you could."  
  
"It wasn't enough," Spike said. "Nothing is ever enough." He hadn't been able to save Charlotte. He hadn't been good enough for Cecily, not demon enough for Drusillia and beneath Buffy, only good for occasional shag. It had only been an accident that he'd managed to father a child with her. "Nothing is ever good enough," He repeated.  
  
Dawn didn't know what to say. She just put her arm around him and just sat quietly next to him. Neither one of them noticed the figure standing at the top of the stairs, listening, one hand covering her mouth, the other resting on her stomach and tears rolling down her cheeks. 


	22. What Is Truth?

Chapter Twenty Two: But What Is Truth?  
  
Buffy quietly backed away from the basement door. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Spike had told her about his human life and what he had told her was completely different than what she had just heard. She wasn't sure which story to believe or which Spike was the real one. Was he the vicious killer, terror of continents, killer of two slayers or was he the sensitive, beaten poet. Neither one seemed to make sense. Which was the Spike she knew?  
  
"Buffy?" Giles asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said, wiping her eyes. "Really, it's nothing, just, you know, hormones."  
  
"Are you sure?" Giles asked. He glanced towards the basement. "Did Spike do something?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I'm um going to go upstairs. I'm really worn out from the wedding."  
  
"Alright," Giles said.  
  
Buffy hurried upstairs. There was only one person she could think of who could answer her questions. She sat down on her bed and, remembering how Anya had called Halfrek before, summoned her the same way.  
  
Halfrek appeared in Buffy's bedroom, with an irritated expression on her face, "What do you want?" She asked.  
  
"Answers," Buffy said. "I want to know exactly what happened between you and Spike."  
  
"Why?" Halfrek asked.  
  
"Because I just heard Spike telling Dawn his side of the story. Now I want to hear yours."  
  
"Sure," Hallie said. "Why not? I have some free time." She sat down on Buffy's bed. "What do you want to know?"  
  
"First of all, what were you to Spike?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Jealous?" the demon asked.  
  
"No," Buffy snapped. "But I don't want him getting into fights with vengeance demons and then getting drunk. Not with a baby and my little sister living in this house. So I want some answers now."  
  
Hallie studied Buffy for a minute and then said, "You know, you and I have a lot in common. We were both the objects of William's obsessions and neither one of us wanted him. The difference is that he died the night I told him to stay away from me but you haven't been quite able to get him to leave you alone," She glanced at Buffy's stomach. "Obviously."  
  
"So Spike was in love with you," Buffy said. "And you didn't want him?"  
  
"He was a spineless poet who didn't have the gumption to stand up to his uncle, plus he had those rumors following him around."  
  
"About Charlotte?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Of course," Hallie said.  
  
"Were they true?" Buffy asked. She had to know, both for Dawn's and the baby's sake. "And don't lie to me."  
  
"I don't know," Halfrek admitted. "William's family and mine lived in different parts of England. I didn't meet William until we were both grown and out into society. I just heard the rumors, like everyone else in London but once I met William I didn't know what to think. He seemed so different than the monster he was made out to be."  
  
"So you don't know whether or not he hurt Charlotte," Buffy said.  
  
"No, I don't know. But I knew William's uncle and if I was going to pick one of them to hurt a little girl then I would have picked his uncle." She sighed, "You see I really only knew William by reputation. He moved in his own world, with his poetry. I sensed his infatuation but I tried to ignore it. Then he finally confirmed it one night and….. I guess you know the rest."  
  
"That was the night he met Drusilla," Buffy said. "And William the Bloody became Spike."  
  
"I didn't know about that until after I became a demon and even then I didn't know the vampire Spike and William were the same person. I, along with everyone else in London, just knew that William was found dead in his family's stable. There had been a string of murders in London, then so it was assumed that William had met up with them."  
  
"It was Angel, Darla and Drusilla," Buffy said. "It had to have been them."  
  
"Probably," Hallie agreed. She stood up, "I can't answer whether or not William harmed Charlotte. I can only tell you what I know."  
  
"You've told me nothing," Buffy snapped. "Nothing that I don't already know."  
  
"Sorry," Hallie said. "Now I really have to go." And before Buffy could react the demon had disappeared.  
  
"Great," Buffy said. "Now what I am going to do?" She hadn't gotten any answers. She still didn't know who the real Spike was.  
  
There was a knock at her door, "Come in," She called.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Giles asked.  
  
"Confused," Buffy said.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About who Spike really is," Buffy explained. "I just had a visit from that vengeance demon he got into a fight with yesterday. I asked her if something I heard Spike tell Dawn was true and Halfrek doesn't know if it is or not"  
  
"What did Spike tell Dawn?" Giles asked. Buffy told him the whole story, Giles listened in horror, cleaned his glasses and said, "What do you think? Do you think Spike's capable of what his uncle accused him of doing?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "I know what Spike's done in the past but I can't imagine Spike doing something that horrible, at least when he was human."  
  
"I'm not defending Spike," Giles said. "But why don't you look at his behavior now. Has he ever harmed Dawn or any other young girl that way?"  
  
"He knows that I'd kill him before I'd let him touch Dawn," Buffy said.  
  
Giles paused and then said, "You know Spike said the exact same thing last night. At the time I thought that it was just drunken ramblings but now I'm not so sure."  
  
"What did he say?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He said that he should have killed his uncle, rather than let him harm Charlotte. At one point he even thought that I was his uncle and was beating him."  
  
"So you think that Spike was telling the truth," Buffy said.  
  
"Actually I do," Giles said. "From my experience people tend to tell the truth when they're drunk and all the evidence tends to point towards Spike's innocence."  
  
"So what now?" Buffy asked. "Know that Spike isn't and wasn't a child molester doesn't change anything now. He's still the same person he was before."  
  
"But does knowing this change your opinion of him?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy didn't say anything and Giles, sensing that she wanted to be alone, left the room. Buffy stretched out on her bed, trying to make sense of all that she had learned. She knew that Spike had loved his brother and sister. That much had been obvious before and confirmed after overhearing his conversation with Dawn. And if she seriously thought about it she really didn't believe that Spike would have harmed his sister. One thing that had always been constant about Spike was his devotion to whoever had his heart at the time and during that time in Spike's life it had been Charlotte who had her brother's heart. But Spike wasn't the same person who had been beaten by his uncle and had adored his baby brother and sister. He was a vampire now, a chipped vampire but still a vampire. He had killed hundreds of people and if he had the chance he would kill again.  
  
The door to her bedroom opened and Spike walked in. They looked at each other for a minute and then Buffy said quietly, "Who are you? Are you William the bloody awful poet who was abused by his uncle and watched helplessly while his sister was molested. Or are you Spike, killer of two slayers, terror of continents? Which one are you really?" 


	23. Lovers Divided Get Coincided

Chapter Twenty Three: Lovers Divided Get Coincided  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked.  
  
"I heard you talking to Dawn. I know the whole story about your uncle and what he did to you and your sister. I also know why you hate Halfrek. I even know about your little hobby of writing poetry. What I don't know is who you really are."  
  
"Do you care?" snapped Spike. He still had a hangover, combined with resurgence of difficult memories. He had come up to check on Buffy and now she was making him face things he didn't want to face.  
  
"Of course I care," Buffy said.  
  
"Why?" Spike asked. "You never have before. In the entire time we've known each other I've never seen you care about what I think or feel. Oh wait, according to you I don't bloody feel at all."  
  
He was angry. Buffy could see that, "Spike…"  
  
"Look, the subject is closed. You know what happened with Charlotte and Cecily.."  
  
"Who?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Halfrek or whatever name she's going by these days. You know what happened with them but it doesn't matter anymore. It's over."  
  
"Then why are you still carrying around Charlotte's picture?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Momentos," Spike said. "I have pictures of Dru too, along with some other things of Charlotte's and my mother's."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said. "I'm just trying to understand. I heard you telling Dawn about who you used to be and I know your reputation afterwards. Neither one seems to match. Who's the real Spike?"  
  
Spike studied her and then said, "You know who I am, all that you want to know." He sat down on the bed next to her and touched her cheek. "You know how I make you feel, that no matter what you do to me I'll come back for more." He moved his hand lower until it touched her stomach, "You know the despite the impossibility you're carrying our child and that I will be a good father to him or her. I may not have had good examples of what makes a good parent but I know what does."  
  
"Your uncle?" Buffy asked. "But what about your father?"  
  
Spike shook his head, "He spent most of his time running the estate and the little free time he had he spent with Mother. I think he planned to show me more attention as I grew older but he died before he could and you know about my mother." He sighed, "Then I traded one abusive guardian for another when I was turned."  
  
"Drusilla?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike laughed, "No, I'm talking about your precious Angel. You heard what I was like when I was human. Who do you think turned me from William the bloody poet to Spike? It sure wasn't Dru. Everything I know about torture and killing Angel taught me and most of the time it was from example with me as the target."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said. She tried to picture him as a beaten child and then his transformation from William to Spike.  
  
Spike saw the pity on her face and pulled away from her, "Don't pity me. It was a long time ago. Besides I think I've gotten my revenge on Angel."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Well look around," Spike said. "I have everything Angel wanted. I get to live in your house. I get to touch you without having to worry about losing my soul and," He gestured to her stomach. "You're carrying my child. I'd say everything turned out alright for me."  
  
Buffy stared at him in horror. Then she sat up and punched Spike as hard as she could, "Is that all we are to you? Revenge against Angel? Is that why you started stalking me and managed to get me into your bed? Just revenge against Angel for taking Drusilla away from you? Is that all me and my baby are worth to you?"  
  
"Oh trust me," Spike said, coldly. "If I wanted to revenge against Angel then I'd be down in L.A. playing patty cake with little Connor, not up here getting kicked around by you and your mates." He turned to leave, "Believe what you want, just get something to eat. I know how much you've been eating lately and it's not enough to keep a kitten alive, much less a you and a baby. So eat something or I'll force feed you." Then he stormed out and down the stairs.  
  
He hated what he had just said to her but he couldn't stand what he had seen in her eyes. It had been pity and that was one thing he couldn't tolerate. He knew that she didn't love him. He didn't even know if she liked him but he wasn't going to have her pity him.  
  
As soon as he left Buffy rolled on her side. She couldn't believe what Spike had just said to her and why hadn't she seen it before. Spike hated Angel more than anyone on this earth. Of course he would use any opportunity to get back at him and she was a perfect target, "I am such an idiot," Buffy said out loud.  
  
"Not that I'm arguing with you," Dawn said, standing in the doorway. "But what did you do this time? I just saw Spike coming down the stairs and he looked furious. What did you do to him?"  
  
"What makes you think I did something to him?" Buffy snapped.  
  
"Because you always do," Dawn told her. "Spike cares too much about you and your baby to do anything that would hurt you."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "He doesn't care about me or this baby. All we are to him are a way to get back at Angel. I was so stupid not to see it before."  
  
"Where did you get that idea?" Dawn asked.  
  
"He said as much," Buffy said. "And I don't believe that it I never thought of it."  
  
"It's not true," Dawn said. "Spike loves you. It isn't about Angel. If it were he would have left a long time ago. Do you really think he'd have done all that he's done for you if this was just about revenge? And remember this is Spike. Look at his pattern. Remember when he came back for revenge on you and Angel when Drusilla left him? He didn't have a plan. He just came in, did the damage and ran and from what he's told me when he was first turned he just ran out and did so much damage he barely got out of London alive. Thinking out an elaborate revenge scenario and then seeing it through isn't Spike's style and you know it."  
  
"Not usually but if he wanted to…" Buffy stopped and thought about Spike's pattern. He was impulsive. Everything she knew about him fit that. He hadn't thought about the consequences when he'd chained her up in his crypt or when they'd crashed through the floor of that abandoned building. He had just been reacting on emotion and that was one of the things she liked about him. He acted with his heart or what passed for his heart.  
  
"And besides," Dawn said. "Spike wouldn't use his own child to get revenge on Angel or anyone else. He wouldn't use your or your baby for anything. He loves you and if you haven't realized that he really does by now then you're right. You are an idiot."  
  
"Whose side are you on anyway?" Buffy complained.  
  
"My niece or nephew's," Dawn said. "I want and I know you want him or her to have as normal life as possible and that won't happen if you can't be civil to Spike."  
  
"I'm not the only one, who's being difficult around here," Buffy pointed out.  
  
"I'm not saying you are but Spike's trying," Dawn said. "Can you try too? It will make things a lot easier around here. And then if you and Spike are getting along you can relax and enjoy being pregnant."  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said sarcastically. "Enjoy being so tired I can hardly get up in the morning and being so sick that I can't keep anything down and what I can keep down I usually bring back up at some point during the day."  
  
"It'll get better," Dawn said.  
  
"I hope so," Buffy said. "Sarah says that she could probably do a spell that will help but Spike won't let her. He's a little cautious when it comes to magic and I agree with him on this."  
  
"Good," Dawn said. "Now go downstairs and make up with Spike. It'll make things a lot easier on everyone here, especially you and the baby, if you two aren't fighting."  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. In the interests of peace she'd go and talk to Spike. She sat up and paused. Something didn't feel right.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked, noticing her sister's face. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said. She stood up. Everything felt fine now. It had probably just been morning sickness again.  
  
Buffy and Dawn walked downstairs. Spike was sitting on the couch, watching TV and Giles was reading.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Giles asked, looking up from his book.  
  
"Okay," Buffy said. She walked over to the couch. She started to sit but then suddenly she felt a cramping pain rip through her abdomen. She let out a cry and sank down onto the couch, clutching her stomach.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong?" Spike asked, alarmed.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy gasped, grabbing onto Spike's arm.  
  
"Is it the baby?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head. She didn't know. She'd never felt anything like this before. It just hurt. She vaguely felt Spike pick her up and carry her out to the car. It was cloudy out so he was safe from the sun but that didn't bother her. All she could focus on was the pain and fear that something was happening to her baby and she was powerless to stop it. 


	24. Love's Filled With Compromises

Chapter Twenty-Four: Love's Filled With Compromises  
  
"Would you sit down?" Giles asked Spike, impatiently. "You're giving me motion sickness."  
  
Spike glared at Giles and continued pacing around the ER waiting room. Every now and then he glanced at the door they'd taken Buffy through. He thought about sitting in the back with Buffy while Giles drove them to the hospital. Once they were there she'd been rushed away and he hadn't been allowed to stay with her. Right now he, Giles and Dawn were waiting for some kind of news.  
  
"What's taking them so long?" Dawn asked Giles.  
  
"They'll let us know as soon as there's something to tell," Giles tried to assure her. He was worried too, though. He had been hoping to hear something from Buffy's doctor by now. He looked up and saw Spike, about to charge through the ER doors to where Buffy was, "Don't even think about it," He warned.  
  
"How do you plan on stopping me?" Spike growled.  
  
"Use your head for once," Giles snapped. "If you go in there, threatening and scaring Buffy's doctor then she and your child aren't going to be cared for. So if they mean anything to you then I suggest you sit down and wait."  
  
Spike glared at Giles so Dawn said, "He's right. They'll come and tell us as soon as they can."  
  
Spike nodded at Dawn and resumed his pacing. Dawn watched him and then leaned over and whispered to Giles, "I wish Buffy could see him now. If she thinks he doesn't feel, she should see him."  
  
Giles nodded. Spike's concern for both Buffy and the baby had been obvious even before Buffy'd collapsed. Even Giles had to admit that Spike appeared to be taking good care of Buffy and Dawn. He just hoped that this wasn't a temporary situation, for everyone's sake.  
  
A doctor came out and said, "Are you here with Buffy Summers?"  
  
"Yes," Spike said, hurrying over to him. "How is she? How's the baby?"  
  
"They're fine," The doctor said. Spike Giles and Dawn all sighed with relief until the doctor continued, "For now."  
  
"What do you mean, for now?" Spike asked, alarmed.  
  
"Buffy hasn't been eating right," The doctor explained. "Now I understand that's been because she can't keep anything down but the baby doesn't understand that and it's feeling the effects."  
  
"So what can we do?" Giles asked.  
  
"Right now we're giving her fluids that should help but she needs to start taking better care of herself."  
  
"She's trying," Dawn protested. "But everything she eats she brings back up."  
  
"There's some medication I can give her that might help with the nausea," The doctor explained.  
  
"Will that harm the baby?" Spike asked.  
  
"It shouldn't," The doctor explained. "But of course with any kind of medication there is some risk."  
  
"What does Buffy say?" Giles asked.  
  
"I haven't discussed it with her yet. She's resting right now and I want to keep her here overnight for observation."  
  
"Can I see her?" Spike asked. The doctor nodded and Spike followed him through the ER doors. Giles was about to go after them but Dawn stopped him.  
  
"Let them be alone," she suggested. "This is their baby. They need to be together right now."  
  
Giles looked at her and then nodded. Dawn was right. As much as he disliked it, it was true. This was between Spike and Buffy. Buffy was fine and he had given up his right to interfere in Buffy's life "Why don't we go down and get something to eat," He suggested.  
  
Spike followed the doctor down the hall to Buffy's room. Buffy was lying in a hospital bed, her eyes closed. She opened them when she heard Spike come in and stretched out her hand. Spike walked over, took her hand and sat down next to the bed. "How're feeling, pet?" He asked.  
  
"Tired," She said. Then her eyes widened. "The baby? Is she alright?"  
  
"Little Plasma's fine," Spike assured her. "And so are you."  
  
"What happened?" Buffy asked, resting her free hand on her stomach to assure herself that the baby was still there.  
  
Spike put his on over Buffy's on her stomach. It was starting to firm and bulge. Buffy had even been complaining that her clothes weren't fitting right anymore, "You haven't been eating right, luv," Spike explained. Buffy started to protest, "I know, I know," Spike said. "You can't help it but the doctors says that the baby doesn't understand that."  
  
"So what do we do?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He wants to keep you here overnight and he has some medicine that might help you to feel better."  
  
"Will it hurt the baby?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He doesn't think so," Spike said. "He did say that there is always some risk but.."  
  
"Then we're not going to try it," Buffy said, firmly. "Not if there's a chance it might hurt the baby."  
  
"I know," Spike said. "But it's hurting the baby if you don't eat. You don't eat then the baby doesn't eat."  
  
"What about that tea Sarah gave me," Buffy said. "She said that that was supposed to help."  
  
"And it hasn't," Spike said. "If anything you've been getting sicker."  
  
"Let's just wait it out," Buffy protested. "I'm almost done with my first trimester. I should be feeling better soon."  
  
"What if you don't," Spike said. "And what do you do in the meantime?"  
  
"I'm not going to risk this baby," Buffy said, surprising even her. When she'd first learned that she was pregnant her first instinct had been not to have the baby, now she was doing all she could to make sure that this baby would be healthy.  
  
"I'm not saying you should," Spike said. "But you're risking both your health and the baby's if you keep on like this."  
  
"Well maybe Tara has a spell that could help," Buffy suggested.  
  
"No," Spike said. "Magic is what got us into this in the first place."  
  
"So what do we do?" Buffy asked. "I'm not going to risk my baby by taking drugs so don't even go there."  
  
Spike momentarily toyed with the idea of putting pills in her food but decided not to. He hadn't liked it when the Initiative had put sedatives in his blood and he knew that Buffy wouldn't like it either. "Why don't we try not using drugs for a few more weeks, see how you feel, try eating as much as possible. We'll see what happens."  
  
"Okay," Buffy agreed. Then she looked at Spike curiously, "Did we just make a compromise?"  
  
Spike grinned, "I think we just did."  
  
"Wow," Buffy said. "Wonders never cease."  
  
Spike nodded, "So is there anything I can get you? Name it and it's yours."  
  
"I'm not really hungry," Buffy started to say but Spike's look stopped her. "I guess I could eat something. How about some chicken?"  
  
"I'll order some for you," Spike said. "And some mashed potatoes, gravy and a milk shake to go with it. How does that sound?"  
  
Buffy thought for a minute, "I think I can manage that."  
  
Spike picked up the phone and ordered Buffy's request to be delivered. If the hospital didn't like it then they could deal with him. "There," He said. "Dinner is ordered."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said. She looked around the room and suddenly realized that they were alone, "Where's Dawn and Giles?"  
  
"Probably still in the waiting room," Spike said. He hoped they would stay there too. He wanted to be alone with Buffy and the baby. It wasn't too often that it was just them, unless it was dark and they were in Buffy's bed.  
  
"How long do I have to stay here?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Just overnight," Spike explained. "They want to keep an eye on you and then you can go home."  
  
"I wish I could go home now," Buffy said.  
  
Spike kissed her hand and said, "So do I. Um about these past few days, I'm sorry about what's been going on with Cecily."  
  
"It's okay," Buffy said. "You must have really loved her, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes," Spike admitted. "But not as much as I love you. I'm not who I was then, in every bloody way."  
  
"Much have been hard, though," Buffy said. "I'm sorry that I wasn't more understanding. I guess I wasn't very nice to you."  
  
Spike grinned, "You're never nice to me." He kissed her on the forehead, "But that's one of the reasons I love you."  
  
Buffy nodded. She didn't love him back but she was starting to feel something other than hatred for him. She understood a little better why he was the way he was and that helped her to understand what kind of a person she let into her bed every night and father her child. She might not love him but she was starting to like him. 


	25. It's Not What It Seems

Chapter Twenty Five: It's Not What It Seems  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around. She sighed, grateful to be home. One night in the hospital had been one night too long. She was glad that she had decided to have her baby at home instead of a hospital.  
  
"Finally awake, are you?" said a voice next to her.  
  
"Hi," Buffy said sleepily.  
  
"And before you ask," Spike said. "I got the Nibblet off to school and your ex-Watcher made his plane."  
  
Buffy sighed, "I wish I could have seen him off."  
  
"He understood," Spike said.  
  
Buffy and Giles had said their good-byes the night before after she'd come home and gotten settled into bed. He had wanted to stay longer but he had had to get back to England. He had promised to come back for a visit when the baby was born, though.  
  
"Here," Spike said, handing Buffy a postcard. "This came this morning from the newlyweds."  
  
Hi All:  
  
Our cruise has been a lot of fun. We've spent all our time in our cabin having wild sex. Being married is a lot of fun. You guys should all get married. Take care of the shop while I'm gone and all my money better be there when we get back.  
  
Love Anya  
  
"Lovely," Buffy said, putting the card down.  
  
"Doesn't sound too bad," Spike said. "At least they're having fun before they settle down to the predictability of marriage."  
  
"Look who's talking," Buffy said. "You were in a committed relationship for over a hundred years. If that's not married then I don't know what is."  
  
"That was different," Spike said. "Dru and I might have been together for a long time but we weren't in what you would call a marriage. Marriage usually involved fidelity and that was one thing Dru and I didn't have."  
  
"You and Dru were with other people when you were together?" Buffy asked, surprised.  
  
He nodded, "Yeah, sometimes Angel and I would trade. He'd take Dru and I'd take Darla. Then sometimes I'd have a little fun before I killed," He grinned. "Then I'd get a lecture from Angel about playing with my food."  
  
"That's disgusting," Buffy said.  
  
"Wait until you have to change nappies," Spike said. "Then you'll find new meaning to the word disgusting."  
  
"And you know this because…."  
  
"I hung around the nursery a lot when Charles and Charlotte were babies. It didn't take me long to figure out that I should make myself scarce when Nanny changed their nappies."  
  
"Well don't think you'll get out of it this time around," Buffy warned. "You're going to have to do your share with this baby."  
  
"I plan to," Spike assured her, although he was already trying to figure out how he could get Dawn or someone else to change diapers for him. "So what do you want for breakfast?"  
  
Buffy hesitated. She wasn't feeling as sick as she had before but she still didn't feel like eating, "Just some tea and toast," Buffy said. "That's about all I can handle right now."  
  
"Okay," Spike said. "Sarah stopped by while you were sleeping and she dropped off some more of those herbal teas for you."  
  
"I should call her," Buffy said. "She probably should give me a checkup to make sure everything's okay."  
  
"Yeah," Spike agreed. "She was really concerned when I told her that you had been in the hospital."  
  
"I like her," Buffy said. "I'm glad that we decided to use her instead of a hospital. She really seems to know what she's doing and she really seems to care."  
  
Spike nodded. He agreed with Buffy. Sarah seemed to be just the kind of person they needed. She was discrete, even though she didn't know that he was a vampire and the baby had been conceived through magic. "I'll go down and get you some breakfast." He went downstairs, made her some dry toast and brewed one of the teas they'd gotten from Sarah. She had said that this one would make Buffy feel better and give her some energy.  
  
He carried the tray upstairs and set it down next to her, saying, "Here you go."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said, taking a sip of her tea and nibbling on a corner of her toast.  
  
"I'll let you get ready," Spike said. He went downstairs and sat down at the computer. He needed to do some research for his and Dawn's project. Nothing had happened yet and he was about ready to try magic to get something going. He was in the middle of downloading a spell when his vampire hearing picked up a now familiar sound coming from upstairs.  
  
He hurried upstairs and into Buffy's bathroom. She was kneeling by the toilet, just out of the shower and wrapped in a towel and vomiting. Spike hurried over, held her hair back with one hand and held a wet cloth to her face with another. Once her stomach was empty he picked her up, carried her into her room and laid her down on her bed.  
  
"I feel awful," Buffy moaned.  
  
"I know," Spike said.  
  
"No, you don't," Buffy said. You're a man or at least you were. You don't have a clue about what I'm feeling."  
  
Spike started to say something but then the phone rang. He leaned over and kissed Buffy on the forehead, "I'd better get that."  
  
"If it's for me then tell them I died," Buffy ordered.  
  
Spike headed to answer the phone, muttering, "The problem is that they'd believe me." He picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, I'm calling for Buffy Summers."  
  
"She can't come to the phone right now," Spike said. Buffy had made him be polite on the phone in case it was social services calling. "May I take a message?"  
  
"This is the hospital," The voice said. "I have the results of Ms. Summers's blood work."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked.  
  
"I found a substance in Ms. Summers's blood stream that I couldn't identify so I ran some tests on it and I found what it is."  
  
"What?" Spike asked, his non-beating heart in his mouth. If anything happened to Buffy or the baby.. "What's wrong?"  
  
"We found small traces of a chemical in her blood. We tested it and this reaction is caused by injesting a combination of herbs. What has Ms. Summer's been eating or drinking that's unusual lately?"  
  
"She hasn't been eating anything," Spike said. "That's why she was in the hospital." He thought for a minute and said, "Wait a second. She's been drinking these herbal teas. Her midwife said that it would help with the morning sickness."  
  
"Don't give her anymore of those teas," The voice ordered. "I'll send someone over to get those herbs and we'll run a test on what it's in them."  
  
"Could it have harmed the baby?" Spike asked.  
  
"Bring your…." The doctor hadn't been sure of Spike and Buffy's relationship. "Ms. Summers in and we'll run some tests but I think we caught it soon enough that the baby should be fine."  
  
"I'll bring her in tomorrow," Spike promised. He put the phone down and went upstairs. Buffy was sleeping, her face pale and drawn. Spike looked down at her. He couldn't believe that someone would want to harm her and the baby. He couldn't wait until dark. He had a certain witch that he was going to pay a little visit to. 


	26. It's You...

Chapter Twenty Six: It's You….  
  
Spike stood outside the house, looking inside. He didn't see Sarah but her car was in the driveway and the lights were on. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a noise next to him. He turned to see who it was and groaned, "What are you doing here, Lil Bit?"  
  
"I'm here to keep you from doing something stupid," Dawn said. Spike had told her what Sarah had done but he'd downplayed how angry he was. He hadn't even told Buffy about what Sarah.  
  
"I'm not going to do anything," Spike said. "Sarah and I are just going to have a little chat." Dawn eyed him skeptically, "What? What can I do to her? Chip, remember?"  
  
"Fine," Dawn said, "But just remember I am not going back to Buffy and telling her that her child's father is now a big pile of dust."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "Just wait outside. This shouldn't take long." Dawn nodded and moved to the window. She wanted to see everything that went on, in case she needed to save Spike's life.  
  
Spike knocked on the door. The door opened and Sarah answered it, dressed in a nightgown that left little to the imagination, "Hello," She said seductively. Then she realized that the person at the door wasn't who she was expecting. "Oh," She said, putting her robe around her, "I'm sorry. I was expecting.. someone else."  
  
"I understand," Spike said. "I'm sorry to disturb you but I need to talk to you." He eyed Sarah. She was a pretty dark-haired woman, only a few years older then Buffy. He had been concerned at first by how young she was but both Willow and Tara had endorsed her. He made a mental note to have a little talk with the Wiccian lovers about their people skills.  
  
"Sure," Sarah said. "What about? Is something wrong with Buffy?"  
  
"No," Spike said, pouring on the charm. "She's fine, right now but I was wondering if I could get some more of those teas you gave her. They really seem to help."  
  
"Sure," Sarah said, trying to hide her surprise. "I'll get some right now." He started to head into the house but Spike stopped her.  
  
"Can I come in? It's getting cold out." Spike asked, in order for his plan to work he needed an invite into her house.  
  
"Oh sure," Sarah said. "Come in."  
  
Spike followed her into the house and into the kitchen where Sarah put some herbs together. Spike watched her angrily, wondering how she could so casually mix together something that could harm Buffy and the baby. "Okay, here," She said, handing Spike the packet of herbs. "This should be just what she needs."  
  
"Thank you," Spike said. He turned to leave but then stopped and said, "Thanks for everything you've done for me and Buffy. We really appreciate it."  
  
"No problem," Sarah said, smiling. "It's my job."  
  
"Well I think you've gone above and beyond the call of duty," Spike said. "And Buffy and I trust you with our baby."  
  
"Thank you," Sarah said.  
  
"Buffy and I have been talking and we think that now it's time for us to trust you with our little secret."  
  
"Oh," Sarah said, surprised. "What's that?"  
  
"This," Spike said. He lowered his face and when he raised it up again it was in vamp face. Sarah looked startled but she didn't look surprised. "What?" Spike said. "You don't look too surprised. Or did you already know?"  
  
"Know what?" Sarah said, looking around. "That you're a vampire. I knew that a long time ago."  
  
"How?" Spike asked, almost casually.  
  
"Ah Tara told me," Sarah said.  
  
"Sorry," Spike said. "Wrong answer, but thanks for playing. Now you're going to tell me exactly what you did to Buffy and who put you up to it."  
  
"I…I don't know what you're talking about," Sarah said, backing away from him  
  
"I think you do," Spike said, advancing on her. "Now you're going to tell me or you're going to find out exactly how I got the nickname William the Bloody." She didn't know how he really got that nickname but what she didn't know wasn't going to hurt him.  
  
"I didn't have a choice," Sarah pleaded. "You have to understand that."  
  
"I don't have to understand anything," Spike said. Now answer my questions or I'll teach you everything I've ever learned about torture and believe me I learned from the best."  
  
"I'm helping someone I love," Sarah protested. "You understand that."  
  
Spike sighed, "Alright, I'm already bloody bored with your explanation. Now start talking or you'll find yourself tonight's dinner." He was bluffing but Sarah didn't know that.  
  
Sarah looked at the angry vampire in front of her and realized that he wasn't bluffing. If she didn't do what he wanted then she wasn't going to get out of this alive. "Alright, I'll take you to them."  
  
"Well let's go, then," Spike said, taking Sarah's arm. After you." He followed Sarah out to her car and she started driving. Neither of them was aware that Dawn was hiding in the back seat.  
  
Sarah drove until she reached a old abandoned building, "Why are you taking me to this old shack?" Spike asked. "I mean, it does hold pleasant memories for me but what are you doing here?"  
  
Sarah didn't answer. She led Spike into the factory. Spike saw three figures sitting at the burnt table in the middle of the room.  
  
He recognized them instantly. He looked back at Sarah and said, "What the bleeding hell are you doing with these bloody idiots?"  
  
Warren jumped to his feet, "What's he doing here?" He asked Sarah.  
  
"I had to bring him here," Sarah said. "I had no choice."  
  
"What did he do to you?" Warren asked, pulling Sarah into his arms.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "I didn't do a bloody thing to her but I will if you don't tell me exactly why and what you did to Buffy."  
  
"We don't know what you're talking about," Andrew stammered.  
  
"I think we've already established that you do," Spike said. "Now you're going to tell me what you did or all of you die, including," He gestured to a table in the corner. "Mr. Fett over there."  
  
"It's been getting boring around here," Jonathan whined.  
  
"What are you blooding talking about?" Spike asked.  
  
"With the Slayer out of commission for the next six months we aren't being challenged," Warren said. "If we aren't challenged then we'll get complacent and then when the Slayer starts working again, we're toast."  
  
Spike stared at him, "I knew you were an idiot but I didn't realize how bloody stupid you were. You need a challenge so you're poisoning Buffy?"  
  
"It wasn't all our idea," Andrew protested.  
  
"Did I give you permission to speak?" Spike asked. "Now don't make me ask you again? What did you do to Buffy?"  
  
"We…we gave her these herbs. They just make her sick and then eventually…." Jonathan stammered.  
  
"What?" Spike asked. "What would they do?"  
  
"They would make her lose the baby," Sarah said.  
  
Spike's eyes flashed yellow and he growled, eyeing all four people in the room, "Oh great," Andrew said, backing away nervously. "We're dead. It's over."  
  
Spike had never been so angry in his life or his unlife. These twits had needed a challenge so they had tried to poison Buffy and make her lose the baby. He wanted to rip them all apart but he knew he couldn't. One move towards them and they'd know about his chip and he'd lose his advantage over them. Then an idea occurred to him.  
  
Spike returned his face to normal and tried to look calm, "You know, you four losers aren't worth my time and energy. So I'm not going to kill you." The Nerds let out a collective sigh of relief. "Myself," Spike said. "I've got a few friends who owe me a favor. They'll kill you for me."  
  
"No one's dying here," Sarah said.  
  
"I don't recall giving you permission to talk," Spike said.  
  
"No one's dying because we have a little surprise for you," Sarah said.  
  
"And what's that?" Spike asked, growing bored with this conversation.  
  
Sarah gestured to a dark corner of the factory and a figure emerged from the shadows.  
  
"Bloody hell," Spike gasped. "What are you doin' here?" 


	27. Who's Is That Shape In The Shadows

Chapter Twenty Seven: Who's Is That Shape In The Shadows?  
  
"I ah think you two know each other," Warren said.  
  
"We've met," Spike said, not taking his eyes off the familiar figure. "Hey Dru, how've you been?"  
  
Drusilla walked slowly towards Spike and said, "I've been lonely, my little Spike. Our little family is all gone. Grandmummy is gone, Angelus isn't himself and you… You smell of the Slayer."  
  
"Dru, what's this all about?" Spike asked. "What are you doing hanging out with these losers? They're so beneath you."  
  
"We made a deal with your old girlfriend," Warren said, feeling braver now that Drusillia was there.  
  
"You're making deals with these clowns," Spike asked. "Dru, what's going on?"  
  
Drusillia pouted and said, "I want us to be together again, like we were before and that can't happen while the Slayer and her baby are alive." She noticed Spike's look of surprise, "I knew about the little family you and the Slayer are creating. The baby fishes told me."  
  
"Really," Spike said. "What else have they told you."  
  
Dru put her hands to her temples and said, "Soon the stars will align. The mouth will open and swallow all of you whole." She looked at Spike, "Come away with me. We'll go back to Prague. I'll kill for you. You can have all you want."  
  
"Sorry," Spike said. "Prague doesn't agree with me. Things are much nicer here."  
  
Drusillia shook her head, "You can't fool me, my William. You may think you like living with the Slayer but I know you too well. You'll soon be bored and then what will you do?" She glanced over to where Warren, Jonathan, Andrew and Sarah were making their way out of the factory. None of them wanted to be in the middle of a confrontation between two vampires. "Where are you little ones going?" She asked.  
  
"No where," Warren stammered. "We just thought that you two might like some time alone, get reacquainted with each other."  
  
"Sorry," Spike said. "Now I'm going home. Nice to see you Dru. Stop by next century if you can."  
  
"You're not going anywhere," Drusillia said, rushing forward and grabbing Spike by the wrist. She let go and punched Spike on the side of the head, "Not until I crush your skull and put it back together without any memories of the Slayer or her child."  
  
"You tried that once before, Dru, remember?" Spike said, reeling from the blow. He'd forgotten how strong she could be. "The girl we turned in Paris. You wanted her to forget her old boyfriend so you crushed her skull and tried to take her brain apart and put her back together. Remember how well that turned out?"  
  
But Drusillia wasn't listening. She hit Spike again, driving him to the floor. Spike scrambled to his feet and hit Dru back, sending her against the wall. He ran forward and pinned her up against the wall, "Not this time," Spike said. "You're not going to win this time."  
  
"Why not?" Dru asked. "You've been a bad little boy and Mummy has to teach you a lesson."  
  
"Sorry pet," Spike said, grabbing her and pinning her arms behind her. "I don't need lessons anymore. I'm all grown up, happened when you left me."  
  
Dru pulled away from him and punched him. He fell backwards and before he could react she had grabbed him by the throat and pressed her forearm against his throat, "You shouldn't have taken my daddy away," Dru hissed into his ear. Spike struggled against her but he slowly lost consciousness.  
  
***  
  
Spike slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was chained to the table, with Drusilla standing nearby. The humans had were nowhere in sight.  
  
"Finally awake, are you?" Dru said. "I thought you'd never wake up." Spike groaned from the headache that she'd given him, "Oh," Dru said. "Here's something that should make your forget all about your poor little head." She reached over and took a bottle and poured its contents over Spike's chest.  
  
It was holy water. Spike screamed as the water burned his chest, "Shhh," Dru said. "You've been naughty and now you need to be taught a lesson." She poured the last drops of holy water onto Spike, ignoring his screams of pain.  
  
"Dru…" Spike gasped. "It doesn't have to be this way."  
  
"Yes," Dru said, picking up a cross and placing it on Spike's forehead. "It does. I have to burn the Slayer right out of your mind." She picked up another bottle of holy water and began to drip it all over Spike's body.  
  
Spike later wasn't sure how he survived Dru's torture. She used every device she could think of, crosses, fire, holy water, tasers, pokers and stakes that she positioned just close enough to his heart so that they wouldn't kill him but it was still torture.  
  
"And now," Dru said. "For your final punishment." She took out a vial filled with a dark liquid.  
  
"What?" Spike gasped.  
  
"Shhhh," Dru said. "Drink up like a good boy." She forced Spike's mouth open and poured the liquid into his mouth.  
  
Spike tried to spit it out but wasn't successful. He choked and gagged and finally said, "What is that?"  
  
"Never you mind," Dru said. She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Mummy has to go away now. She'll miss you but you had your chance. Anything that's happened is your fault." Then Drusillia stood up and walked out of the factory, leaving a battered and beaten Spike, still chained to the table.  
  
The second that Dru was gone Dawn dashed out of her hiding place and ran to Spike's side, "Spike!" Dawn cried. "Spike, are you alright?"  
  
"I been better," Spike moaned. "Get out o' here 'blet. Dru might come back."  
  
"She won't," Dawn said, pulling on Spike's chains. "And I'm not going to leave you here. I'm not going back and telling Buffy that I left you here to die." She pulled at the chains but they didn't budge. "Where's the key?"  
  
"Dru took it," Spike said.  
  
Dawn looked around. Spike had thought her how to pick a lock. She just had to find something she could use. She saw a strip of metal and grabbed it. She quickly worked on the chains until Spike was free, "See," She said, unlocking the restraints. "Teaching me how to pick a lock paid off." She helped Spike off the table and tried to get him to stand but he was dead weight, literally. "Why couldn't I haven't gotten Buffy's slayer strength?" She groaned, dragging Spike along. She laid me on the floor, knelt by him and said, "Spike, I'm sorry but I can't carry you and I'm not leaving you so I have to drag you. That's the only way you're going to get home." Spike didn't answer. He was too far out of it to hear her. Dawn grabbed him under the arms and began to drag him, wincing at the sounds his broken bones made as she pulled him towards home.  
  
Buffy leaned back against the couch and for the millionth time tried to read 'Your Pregnancy: Week by Week'. She took a sip of her tea and made a face. She had woken up and saw that Spike wasn't home so she went downstairs to make a cup of tea herself. She'd looked for the herb teas that Sarah had given her but they were all gone. She found them in the garbage can, hidden by the remains of last night's dinner. She had been furious. What was Spike thinking? She couldn't wait until he got home so that she could yell at him.  
  
Willow and Tara came in the door, holding hands, "Hi guys," Buffy said.  
  
"Hi," Willow said, sitting down on the couch, Tara on the chair. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better," Buffy said. "But I'm going to kill Spike when he comes home."  
  
"What did he do?" Willow asked.  
  
"Those herbal teas that Sarah gave me, he threw them all out."  
  
"Why would he do that?" Tara asked.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "He just made some for me this morning. Why would he turn around and throw them out?"  
  
Willow started to speak but then suddenly the door burst open and Dawn fell through the door, still dragging a battered Spike. All three girls jumped up and hurried over to them.  
  
"Dawn, what happened?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Drusillia," Dawn said.  
  
"She's back," Buffy asked, panicked. "When, why?"  
  
"I don't know," Dawn said, close to tears. "I think she's been working with Warren, Jonathan, Andrew and Sarah."  
  
"Sarah?" Tara asked. "Buffy's midwife?"  
  
Dawn nodded, "She's been giving Buffy these teas that have been making her sick. I couldn't hear what all was being said. I was looking in the window and.."  
  
"What were you doing sneaking out?" Buffy asked angrily.  
  
"I didn't want Spike to do anything stupid," Dawn protested. "He was so mad about what Sarah had been doing to you."  
  
The realization of what Sarah had done hit Buffy, "Why would she do that?"  
  
"I don't know," Dawn said. "But Spike…"  
  
Buffy quickly turned her attention to her battered lover. He looked worse then when Glory had beaten him up. "Let's get him up on the couch," She said. Tara and Willow got him up and on the couch while Dawn ran upstairs for the first aid kit and then for some blood.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, shaking him, trying to wake him up. "Spike, can you hear me?"  
  
Spike groaned but didn't open his eyes, "Lotte? That you? What you doin' here?"  
  
"No, Spike," Buffy said. "It's not Charlotte. It's me, Buffy." She took his hand and froze. It was warm. She felt his forehead and chest. They were warm too. She looked at Dawn, "Dawn, what did she do to him?"  
  
"I don't know," Dawn cried. "She chained him up and beat him. Then she made him drink this black stuff."  
  
"What would that be?" Buffy asked Willow and Tara.  
  
"I don't know," Willow said. "I've never heard of anything that could do this to a vampire."  
  
"Dawn," Tara asked. "Where did Drusilla give this to Spike? Where were they?"  
  
"The old factory," Dawn said, handing Buffy the warmed mug of blood. "Where he and Drusilla used to live."  
  
"I'll go see if I can find it," Willow said, standing up. "You guys stay here and see if you can find anything on what Drusilla gave him." She hurried out the door.  
  
"Dawn, make sure he drinks this," Buffy said, handing Dawn the mug of blood. "Tara, go to the magic shop and find all the books you can that might help us. I'll look through the books we have here."  
  
Tara hurried out the door and Buffy quickly pulled down a book on vampires. "Is he going to be okay?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said quickly. Spike would be fine. He had to be. She was not going to lose him, not the one dependable person in her life. And she was not going to let her baby grow up without a father. Her baby needed him and if she was truly honest with herself, she needed him too. 


	28. Come: Time Is Running Short

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Come: Time Is Running Short  
  
Tara struggled into the house, carrying every book on vampires and poison the Magic Box had, "How is he?" She asked, gesturing to Spike. He was still lying on the couch, eyes shut. Dawn was sitting next to him and Buffy was sitting on a chair, reading one of her books on vampires.  
  
"No change," Dawn said. "I keep giving him blood but it doesn't help. He keeps getting warmer and warmer."  
  
"Is Willow back?" Tara asked.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "And we haven't found anything that can help him either."  
  
"I'll see if there's anything I can find in these," Tara said, opening one of the books she had brought. "There has to be something that will work."  
  
"What exactly are we looking for?" Buffy asked.  
  
"We'll know more when Willow gets back," Tara said. "Just look for anything that sounds like what's wrong with Spike."  
  
"I can think of a lot of things that are wrong with Spike," Buffy mumbled before turning back to her book.  
  
The door opened and Willow hurried in, "I found what she gave him," Willow said, without greeting anyone. She held up a test tube. "There was still a little bit left."  
  
"Ew," Buffy said. "It looks like something you'd find in a sewer. She made him drink that?"  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. "She poured it down his throat after she nearly beat him to death."  
  
"Why?" Willow asked. "Why would she do something like that to him?"  
  
"I don't know," Dawn said. "I couldn't hear what was being said."  
  
"Why were you following him anyway?" Buffy asked. She didn't even want to think about what could have happened to Dawn if Drusilla had seen her. If Drusilla could hurt Spike the way she had then Buffy couldn't imagine what she could have done to Dawn.  
  
"He was so angry," Dawn said, tearfully. "About what Sarah was doing to you and the baby. I was afraid that he'd do something he might regret so I followed him."  
  
Buffy froze, remembering, for the first time since Dawn had mentioned it, that Sarah had done something to her and the baby. "Do you know exactly what she did?" Buffy asked, fearfully. She wasn't afraid for herself. She'd been in danger plenty of times and had died twice. She was afraid for her baby.  
  
"No," Dawn said. "Just that those herbal teas she was giving you were making you sick and he went to her house to find out what was going on. Then they left and went to the factory."  
  
"Why would she do something like that?" Tara asked. She felt terrible. She and Willow had been the ones who had recommended Sarah to Spike and Buffy.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "But if she's working with Drusilla then…" She was interrupted by Spike moaning.  
  
Buffy hurried to his side and sat down next to Dawn, "Spike? Spike, it's me, Buffy. Can you hear me?" He didn't acknowledge her, just continued to trash around. Buffy took his hand and noticed that it was warm. This was a different sensation coming from Spike. Even at the height of passion his body temperature remained the same. Spike had jokingly called it fire and ice joining together. Now he was the one on fire and her hands were icy with fear. "Spike," She continued. "Do you know what she did to you?"  
  
Spike opened his eyes but looked right past Buffy at Dawn, "Nibblet, check on Fluffy and Lucifer, kay? Got results the other night… just a matter of time now…"  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn, "What's he talking about? Who are Fluffy and Lucifer?"  
  
"Nobody," Dawn lied, tears streaming down her face. "He doesn't know what he was saying. He thought you were Charlotte, earlier. It's whatever poison she gave him that's talking." She turned away from Buffy and put the straw to Spike's lips so he could drink from the mug.  
  
"Tastes good, Lil Bit," Spike said in one of his first moments of clarity, "Nice and cool."  
  
"I've found it," Willow said, hurrying into the living room. She'd taken the test tube with the poison into the kitchen to run some tests on it. "I found out what it is."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked anxiously.  
  
"It's a special poison for vampires," Willow explained. "Part it is made with holy water and the rest with some herbs. Instead of burning him alive instantly like normal holy water would this is going to eat away at his insides until he burns from the inside out."  
  
Buffy gasped and held onto Dawn, who had thrown herself into Buffy's arms, "Is there anything we can do?" She was not going to raise her baby without Spike and she was not going to let her baby grow up without knowing his or her father, not if she could help it.  
  
"There some kind of clue," Willow said. "Something about how if he drinks the blood of the blood he drank when he became a creature of the night."  
  
"What does that mean?" Tara asked.  
  
"I think it means that he needs to drink the blood of his sire or he'll die," Buffy said.  
  
"Who's his sire?" Tara asked. "What if we can't find him?"  
  
"We can," Willow said, looking at Buffy. "I'll call Angel."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, Angel isn't Spike's sire. Drusilla is."  
  
"But when we first met Spike he called Angel his sire," Willow pointed out.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "Spike told me about the night he was turned and he said that it was Drusilla who approached him. He told me that she drank his blood but he doesn't remember anything else until he woke up in his coffin." She shivered, remembering her own ordeal involving a coffin.  
  
"Let's see if he can tell us anything," Tara suggested. She knelt down next to Spike and said gently, "Spike, Spike? Do you remember the night you were turned?" He nodded, eyes shut and Tara continued, "Who's blood did you drink?"  
  
Spike smiled and said, "Delicious, never tasted anything like it, sweet, just like the peaches Nanny used to give us." Then he started babbling about the latest 'Passions' storyline and then lapsed into unconsciousness.  
  
"Did that make any sense to anyone?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy stood up and began to pace around the living room, her hands on her stomach, "I think it does. What did he say the blood reminded him of? Peaches, that's what he calls Angel too. It must have been Angel."  
  
"There's only one way we're going to find out," Willow said. "Do you want me to call Angel?"  
  
"Please," Buffy said. "Don't tell him what's going on, though. Just tell him to get down here and fast. We don't know how much time Spike has left." She sat back down next to Spike and brushed his face back from his face. She wasn't going to let him die. He'd helped her to live again. He'd even given her life in the form of their baby. She owed him that much.  
  
Willow went into the kitchen and dialed a number from memory. After a few rings she heard a familiar voice say, "Angel Investigations."  
  
"Angel, hi," Willow said.  
  
"Willow, is that you?" He asked. Then his voice became alarmed. "What's wrong? Has something happened to Buffy?"  
  
"No, no, she's fine," Willow quickly assured him. "We just need your help with something."  
  
"What?" Angel asked.  
  
"I can't explain it over the phone," Willow said. "Can you come to Sunnydale, now?"  
  
"Now?" Angel asked.  
  
"It's really important," Willow said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Angel asked.  
  
"I'll explain when you get here," Willow told him. "Just hurry."  
  
"I'll be right there," Angel said, hanging up the phone.  
  
"He's coming," Willow said, coming back into the living room.  
  
"Good," Buffy said, looking down at Spike. "Let's just hope he gets here in time." 


	29. That Old Familiar Face

Chapter Twenty-Nine: That Old Familiar Face  
  
"You're sure I look okay?" Buffy asked Willow, looking the mirror.  
  
"You look fine," Willow assured her. "You can't even tell you're pregnant."  
  
"I know I must sound really shallow," Buffy said. "I mean, the father of my baby might be dying and all I can talk about is if my old boyfriend will notice that I'm pregnant."  
  
"Buffy," Tara said. "Angel's going to find out about the baby eventually. Why don't you just tell him?"  
  
"Because then I'd have to admit that I've been sleeping with Spike," Buffy explained. "And I'm not ready to deal with that. I'm going to tell Angel about the baby but not right now, not until this thing with Spike is over."  
  
"Okay," Willow said. She didn't agree with Buffy wanting to keep her pregnancy a secret from Angel but it was her decision.  
  
They walked downstairs to the living room. Spike wasn't there anymore. Willow, Tara and Dawn had carried Spike upstairs and put him in Buffy's room where he'd be more comfortable. Dawn was with him right now. She had refused to leave his side and Buffy didn't try to make her.  
  
Buffy walked over to the window and looked outside, "When is he going to get here?" She was both nervous and excited at seeing Angel again. She knew that there could never be anything between them but she still missed having him around. She did care about Spike but Spike and Angel both occupied different places in her heart.  
  
"Do you think Angel will be able to help Spike?" Willow asked.  
  
"I hope so," Buffy said. "Because if Angel isn't Spike's sire and Drusilla really is then we have to find Drusilla. That'll take time and Spike doesn't have that."  
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Buffy froze. She shouldn't be scared to answer the door. It was just Angel. Tara sensed her nervousness and quickly answered the door.  
  
It was Angel. He looked the same as the last time she had seen him. The only difference was the sleeping baby he was holding.  
  
"Hi," Angel said, walking into the living room, Cordelia behind him.  
  
"Hi," Buffy said, pulling on her shirt so that her pregnancy was even more hidden. "Thank you for coming."  
  
"No problem," Angel said. He indicted the baby in his arms. "This is Connor. I had to bring him with. I wasn't sure how long I would be gone and he's going through this separation anxiety phase and I didn't want to leave him."  
  
"I understand," Buffy said. She understood better than Angel knew.  
  
He gestured to Connor, "Is there anywhere I can set up the crib? He just fell asleep so he'll sleep for awhile."  
  
"Sure," Buffy said. "Will, can Connor use your room?"  
  
"Sure," Willow said. Angel handed Connor to Cordelia and they went upstairs.  
  
"So what's going on?" Angel asked. "Willow really didn't say what was wrong."  
  
"Sit down," Buffy said. She and Angel sat on the couch, Tara on a chair. "It really complicated but I need to know something."  
  
"Sure, what?" Angel asked.  
  
"It's about Spike," Buffy said.  
  
Angel shut his eyes and groaned, "He's in town? What has he done now?"  
  
"Buffy," Dawn called from upstairs. "Can you come up here?"  
  
"I'll be right back," Buffy said, hurrying up to her bedroom. "What wrong?" She asked.  
  
Dawn gestured to Spike, "He's getting worse. He just keeps getting warmer and warmer and now he thinks that I'm Charlotte."  
  
"Angel's here now," Buffy said. "Once we know more we'll be able to help him."  
  
"What if Angel can't help him?" Dawn asked tearfully.  
  
"He will, " Buffy assured Dawn.  
  
Dawn looked at her sister, "He can't die, Buffy. He's the only one who really understands me. I need him."  
  
"He's not going to die," Buffy said. "I'm going to talk to Angel and see if he can help." Then she hurried back downstairs. "Sorry about that."  
  
"It's okay," Angel said. "Now what's going on with Spike? How long has he been in town?"  
  
"Awhile," Buffy said. "But he's not dangerous, not anymore. You remember that government organization that was in town?" Angel nodded. "Well they implanted a chip in Spike's head so he can't hurt people anymore."  
  
"I bet he loved that," Angel said. "So why's he still hanging around?"  
  
"Where else could he go?" Buffy said. "He can fight demons so he's been helping us patrol."  
  
"Why?" Angel asked.  
  
"He was on the verge of staking himself when he figured out that he could still fight something."  
  
"So what's the problem?" Angel asked.  
  
"Drusilla came to town," Buffy explained. "I don't know exactly what happened but she chained Spike to a table and nearly beat him to death. Then she gave him this poison that is slowly burning him from the inside."  
  
"Sounds like Dru," Angel said, remembering his own torture at her hands. "But what can I do?"  
  
"Willow found a way to help him but it needs the blood of Spike's sire. Spike's too out of it to tell us who really sired him. I was hoping you could."  
  
Angel stood up and paced around the room, "It was both me and Dru. That night I followed Dru to the stable where Spike was, to make sure she actually went through with it. She drained him dry but then panicked at the last second. She wouldn't let him drink so I stepped in and he drank from me."  
  
"So Spike drank your blood," Buffy sighed with relief. Spike still had a chance. "Spike needs the blood of the one who's blood he drank when he was turned. He needs your help. Will you help him?"  
  
"Why?" Angel asked. "You hate Spike. Why does it matter to you if he lives or dies?"  
  
"A lot's changed," Buffy said. "Spike's helped us a lot. Look, if you don't want to help him for me then do if for…" She almost said her baby but she quickly changed it. "For Dawn. She adores him and he feels the same way about her. He's the only one she'll listen to."  
  
Angel looked concerned. He knew Spike's patterns, "Is Spike in love with Dawn?"  
  
"No," Buffy quickly said. "But they bonded while I was gone and even before that. He let himself be tortured by a god rather than betray us. I think Dawn reminds him of his sister and he wants to protect Dawn the way he couldn't protect his sister."  
  
Angel nodded, "Okay, that sounds more like Spike" He studied Buffy carefully. Something didn't make sense. She hated Spike. Why would she want him helped for her sake. Then a sudden awareness hit him, "What are you wearing?"  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked and then looked down in horror. She had been in a hurry to hide her pregnancy from Angel and none of her clothes were fitting right, let alone hiding a pregnancy just starting to show. She had borrowed one of Spike's button down red shirts with a lose pair of jeans.  
  
Angel stepped forward, his vampires senses taking in everything, "You smell like him, almost like you've been…" He couldn't say it. "Buffy, what's really going on here?"  
  
Buffy sighed, "What do you want me to say? That I've been sleeping with Spike? Alright, I admit it I have been."  
  
"Why?" was all Angel was able to say. "You hate him. He hates you."  
  
"Wrong," Buffy said. "He loves me. I tolerate, verging on like him."  
  
Angel stared at Buffy with even more growing horror. She looked different than the last time he had seen her. She had put on some weight, her face was rounded and her curves were more accented. He noticed that most of the weight she had put on was in her stomach. It was almost as if…., "Buffy, are you…?"  
  
Buffy saw Angel's realization slowly sinking in, "Yes," She said quietly. "I'm pregnant and it's Spike's." 


	30. Tremulous and Tender

Chapter Thirty: Tremulous and Tender  
  
"Say something," Buffy said. Angel hadn't said a word since she had told him about her pregnancy. He had simply turned away from her and stared out the window.  
  
"You're carrying Spike's child," Angel said, without a trace of emotion in his voice.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said.  
  
"When did this happen?" Angel asked.  
  
"When I started sleeping with Spike or when I got pregnant?" Buffy asked.  
  
"They started separately?" Angel said, bitterly. "Both."  
  
"We've been sleeping together for a while," Buffy said. "And I'm a little over three months along."  
  
"How?" Angel asked. "How was it possible for Spike to get you pregnant? Connor was conceived because of a prophecy but I haven't heard any kind of prophecy about a Slayer and a vampire conceiving a child together."  
  
"This baby wasn't conceived from a prophecy," Buffy explained. "Tara did a spell that she thought would make Spike human again. It worked long enough for us to create a baby but that was it."  
  
"So he's living here now?" Angel said. Spike's scent was all over the house. Angel was surprised he hadn't noticed it before.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said. "He's helping to pay the bills and with Dawn."  
  
"How did this happen?" Angel asked. He was still staring out the window. "How did you and Spike mange to create a child together? You hate each other. What are you doing sleeping with someone you hate?"  
  
Buffy tried to hold in her temper and said, "It just happened. Look, I have been through this with everyone else. Spike made me feel again after what I had been through. He helped me in a way no one could.""  
  
"Obviously," Angel said.  
  
"Don't pull that self-righteous attitude with me," Buffy snapped. "Let's not forget that you slept with that bitch, Darla and last I heard you two weren't too fond of each other."  
  
"Different circumstances," Angel protested.  
  
"I don't care. How does this work? You get to have a child with a vampire but I don't? You get to have a son and all that goes with it but I can't?"  
  
"You're having a boy?" Angel said, surprised.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "And that's not the point. You left remember? You don't get to tell me how to live my life."  
  
"You're right," Angel said, finally turning around and facing Buffy. He walked over to Buffy and touched her cheek. "I just hate that he touched you, the thought of the two of you together…"  
  
"Now you know how I felt when I found out about Connor," Buffy said, pulling away from him. "Especially when I found out that Darla was his mother."  
  
"But Darla's dead," Angel pointed out. "She and I will never be together again. Spike's still around."  
  
"That depends on you," Buffy said. "Right now Spike's life is in your hands. He needs your blood or he's going to burn alive."  
  
"You don't know what you're asking," Angel says. "Even before you there's a lot of history between me and Spike."  
  
"I don't care," Buffy said. "I know you two didn't exactly agree in the past. Spike and I have had our problems too. I'm not in love with him. We're just having a child together. The most I feel for him is like and some respect."  
  
Angel studied her, "No, you feel more than that. Otherwise you wouldn't be having his child. You feel more for him, you just don't know it."  
  
"At most we're friends," Buffy said. "And that's pushing it."  
  
"Right," Angel said. "You're friends. That's why he's living with you and you're having his child. You're such good friends that he would let a god torture him rather than betray you and Dawn and you're standing right here begging me for my help because you're such good friends," He practically spat out the last words.  
  
"I am doing this for Dawn and my baby," Buffy said. "They both need him. Spike's the only know who knows how to handle Dawn and my baby deserves a father. All of us, you, me, Spike, none of us have had a good father. Connor has you. Doesn't my baby deserve to have a father?"  
  
"Buffy…" Angel said.  
  
"Well?" Buffy asked. "Look, you sired Spike. You, Darla, Drusilla and Spike were together for twenty years. Wasn't there ever a time that you cared about him?"  
  
"Buffy.." Angel said.  
  
"At least come up and look at him," Buffy said. "Look at him and then tell me that you won't help him."  
  
"Fine," Angel said. He and Buffy went upstairs to her room.  
  
Dawn was sitting next to the bed, tears on her cheeks. She looked up when Angel and Buffy came in, "Is he going to help?" Dawn asked.  
  
Angel looked at Spike and the anger he felt was replaced by compassion. Spike was lying on Buffy's bed, wearing only jeans. He was covered in burns, from the torture inflicted on him by Dru. There were also signs that the poison she had given him was working its way through his skin. Dawn placed another ice pack on his chest and Spike moaned from the pain. Angel sighed. He had to help Spike. He had no choice, "What do you need me to do?"  
  
Buffy sighed with relief, "Willow and Tara are working on a spell. Everything's ready. They just need your blood."  
  
"Let's get this over with then," Angel said. He went downstairs, leaving Buffy and Dawn with Spike.  
  
"He's really going to help?" Dawn asked.  
  
"He will," Buffy said. "He's just in shock over the baby."  
  
"You told him?" Dawn said.  
  
"He guessed," Buffy said. "I thought that I was hiding it but I guess not well enough."  
  
"What did he say?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Not important," Buffy said. "Right now we have to concentrate on getting Spike better."  
  
"And finding out why those guys were working with Drusilla in the first place," Dawn pointed out. "Those guys plus Drusilla can't be good."  
  
"No," Buffy agreed. "Maybe Spike can tell us what's going on when he wakes up. Has he said anything about what happened?"  
  
Dawn shook her head, "No, he still thinks I'm Charlotte." She brushed his hair back from his head. "I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth." She looked up at Buffy. "He really loved her and if he wants to think I'm her then…"  
  
"No, that's fine," Buffy said. "I'm going to go see how long it's going to take for the cure to be ready. Call me if there's any change."  
  
"Why don't I go," Dawn suggested. "You can sit with him." Buffy hesitated and Dawn saw that and said, angrily, "What? You can't sit with Spike for even a few minutes? He's good enough for you to sleep with but you can't waste your time sitting with him while he might be dying because of you?"  
  
"Dawn," Buffy started to say.  
  
"No," Dawn said. She was tired and her emotions were taking control. "He wouldn't have gone up against Drusilla and those guys if it hadn't been for you. He was so angry over what those people and Sarah did to you. This wouldn't have happened if you didn't mean so much to him."  
  
"I didn't see you stopping him," Buffy snapped. "All you had to do was run upstairs and tell me what Spike was going to do. I could have stopped him or at least gone after him."  
  
"Right," Dawn said. "Like you really could have fought Drusilla yourself."  
  
"It wouldn't have gotten that far," Buffy snapped. "I wouldn't have let Spike go out in the first place."  
  
"You couldn't have stopped him," Dawn said. "I tried to get him to stay here but he wouldn't listen to me. He wouldn't have listened to you, either."  
  
"Well we'll never know," Buffy said.  
  
"At least I cared enough to make sure he didn't get himself killed. I've never seen you doing that," Dawn said.  
  
"That's not true," Buffy said. "If I didn't care about what happened to Spike then I never would have sent for Angel. I wouldn't have practically begged Angel to help Spike, so don't tell me that I don't care about Spike. He's the father of my child for crying out loud."  
  
Dawn nodded, and looked tearfully at Buffy, "Please don't let him die. I can't lose him too."  
  
"You're not going to lose him," Buffy said. She sighed, "Why don't you go and get some sleep? I'll stay with Spike until you wake up." Dawn nodded and left the room.  
  
"She really cares about him," Angel said from the doorway.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. Angel sat down next to her and took a sip from the glass of blood in his hand. "She does." She glanced at the bandage on his arm, "Did they get what they needed?"  
  
Angel nodded, "They should have it ready soon." He looked at Buffy, "Is this what you want, really? You want to be living with Spike and having a child with him?"  
  
Buffy sighed, "No, this isn't how I dreamed I would be living my life but since when has anything I ever dreamed turned out? This isn't the ideal situation but it could be a lot worse."  
  
"I know," Angel said. "I just don't understand how things between you and Spike got this far."  
  
"It just happened," Buffy said. "I didn't plan it. It just happened." She stared straight at Angel, "And I'm not going to apologize for anything I've done. No matter what happened I have my baby. I was unsure about being pregnant at first but right now there is no one on this earth that I love more than this baby and I will always be grateful to Spike for giving me what might be my only chance at being a mother."  
  
"I know," Angel said. "And I'm glad that you have that chance. Having a child…."  
  
"And Spike is going to be a good father," Buffy said. "I don't know if he can love or not but I know he is capable of deep devotion and that's what he'll give this baby."  
  
Angel nodded, "And what about you?"  
  
"Remember how devoted he was to Drusilla?" Buffy asked, with a sardonic smile. "Well he threatened to kill her for me once. He confides in Dawn and from what she's told me I think he cares for me, Dawn and this baby more than he's ever cared for anyone."  
  
"I still wish that you were with anyone but him," Angel said. "What kind of life can he give you and a child?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "But we have something that works."  
  
"I hope it does," Angel said. "Because I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
"I won't," Buffy said, hoping that that was true.  
  
Angel sighed, "All I want is for you to be happy and if you are then…."  
  
Buffy nodded, understanding what he meant.  
  
"Is there anything else I can do?" Angel asked. "Do you want me to see if I can find Dru?"  
  
"Let's wait until Spike wakes up and then we can find out what really happened," Buffy said.  
  
"What did happen? Willow wasn't too clear," Angel asked.  
  
"Spike found out that the midwife I've been seeing had been giving me these herbs that were making me sick. He confronted her and she led him to these guys that have been giving me trouble for months. I guess they were working with Drusilla. I don't know the details. Dawn couldn't hear what was being said but it ended with Spike being tortured and poisoned by Drusilla."  
  
"Are you okay?" Angel asked, concerned. "She didn't hurt you or your child?"  
  
"I don't think so," Buffy said. "I've made an appointment with a doctor to get checked out but so far everything's fine."  
  
"Good," Angel said. He stood up. "I'm going to go and check on Connor. He gets upset if he wakes up and I'm not there." He left the room, leaving Buffy alone with Spike.  
  
"Hey," Buffy said to Spike. "If you wanted some attention you could have just asked." She brushed his hair back. "Hang on, okay. I'm not going to be a single mother. So don't think you're going to get out of being a father this easily. You've never been the love 'em and leave 'em type so don't start now." She lay down on the bed next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, on one of the few places where there weren't burns or bruises. She took his one of his hands and placed it on her stomach and said quietly, "Please don't leave me." 


	31. Suddenly, Uncontrolled Something Is Taki...

Chapter Thirty-One: Suddenly, Uncontrolled Something is Taking Hold  
  
"Morning," Willow said to Buffy as she came downstairs. "How are you?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "I've been better but I've been worse too." She sat down at the island and looked at the herbs spread around. "Is it going to be ready soon?"  
  
"It won't be long," Tara said. "We just have a few more ingredients we need to add and then it should be ready."  
  
"How's Spike?" Willow asked.  
  
"No change," Buffy said. "But I can tell the poison is working. There are burns on his skin that came from the inside."  
  
"Once he gets this he'll be okay," Willow assured her. "He'll be back to his old self before we know it."  
  
"I can't believe I'm wishing for Spike to be himself again," Buffy said, pouring herself a glass of juice.  
  
"Hey guys," Cordelia said, coming into the kitchen, a bottle in one hand and Connor in her arms. "Can I use the microwave? Connor likes his bottle warmed up."  
  
"Sure," Buffy said. She sighed, "Him and Spike. Spike always wants his blood warmed up to the right temperature or he won't drink it."  
  
"Connor's the same way, aren't you?" Cordelia said, bouncing the baby in her arms.  
  
Buffy looked at the baby Cordelia was holding and hesitantly asked, "Can I hold him?"  
  
"Sure," Cordelia said. "If he'll let you. He's being really shy right now about letting strangers hold him." She gently passed Connor over to Buffy.  
  
Surprisingly Connor didn't protest at being held by strange arms. He just looked up at Buffy and studied her face. Buffy returned his stare, studying ever feature. She could see traces of both Angel and Darla in this baby. He didn't look like the child of two people who had terrorized Europe for centuries. Instead he looked like any ordinary baby. Buffy looked up at Cordelia, with tears in her eyes, "He's beautiful."  
  
"Are you okay?" Cordelia asked, concerned. She knew what was going on with Buffy and Spike. Angel had told her everything the night before when he'd come to check on Connor.  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said, blinking back tears. "Really, it's just hormones. I get emotional around babies. I can't even watch a diaper commercial without crying." She handed the baby back to Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia sat down at the island and put the bottle in Connor's mouth, "So anything new around here?"  
  
"The usual," Buffy said. "I died, came back and now I'm pregnant by a vampire. How about you?"  
  
"Usual," Cordelia said in the same casual tone. "I have visions now and I'm part demon. Plus I'm helping a vampire raise a child."  
  
"The Class of '99 is certainly outdoing itself," Willow said, stirring her potion.  
  
There was a knock at the kitchen door and two tanned figures stumbled through the door. Everyone looked up in surprise. Buffy was the first to recover.  
  
"What are you two doing back?" She asked, hugging first Anya and Xander. "We didn't expect you back until tomorrow."  
  
"We caught an earlier flight," Xander explained.  
  
"How was the Caribbean?" Willow asked.  
  
"Our cruise was wonderful," Anya said. "Of course we didn't see much of the outside of our cabin since we spent most of our time inside having mind blowing sex."  
  
"You must be Anya," Cordelia said, sarcastically.  
  
Anya studied Cordelia for a minute and then her eyes narrowed, "And you must be Cordelia. I've heard a lot about you. You can't have him back. He's mine now."  
  
"You can have him," Cordelia said.  
  
"Cordy," Xander said, trying to defuse the situation. "When did you have a baby? Who's the father?"  
  
"He's mine," Angel said, coming into the kitchen. He looked over at Buffy, "Is that going to be ready soon? I just checked on Spike and I don't know how much longer he can hang on."  
  
"We're almost done," Willow said. "Just a few more minutes."  
  
"What's going on here?" Xander asked, confused. "Angel and Cordelia have a son. Willow and Tara are doing magic in Buffy's kitchen. Angel's concerned about Spike." Xander looked at Anya, "Honey, we discussed this. We were not going to any alternate dimensions for our honeymoon. So can you transport us back to reality?'  
  
Anya shook her head, "Don't look at me. This is real, strange but real."  
  
Xander looked around, "Okay, did you all lose your minds while we were gone?"  
  
"No one's lost their minds," Buffy said impatiently. "A lot's happened while you were gone and we didn't want to ruin your honeymoon so we didn't call you because there was nothing you could do."  
  
"Thanks," Anya said. "Because we were having the best sex ever and I didn't want it to end."  
  
"Is she for real?" Cordelia asked. She looked down at Connor, "Come on, Connor. Let's go upstairs. This conversation is a little too mature for you." She took the baby and headed upstairs.  
  
"How did you and Cordy manage to have a baby?" Xander asked. "Vampires aren't supposed to have kids."  
  
"Connor's not Cordelia's son," Angel said. "He's mine and Darla's."  
  
"Isn't she dead?" Xander asked.  
  
"Yes," Angel said, shortly.  
  
"We're ready," Tara broke in, holding up a smoking goblet. "He just has to drink this."  
  
"Who has to drink what?" Xander asked.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, taking the goblet from Tara. She hurried upstairs, everyone following her, and into her room. Dawn was sitting in her place by Spike. She looked up at the sudden intrusion.  
  
"Is that it?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said.  
  
"Whoa," Xander said, at the sight of Spike. Spike's bruises and burns had gotten even worse. He looked worse than the times Buffy and Glory had beaten him up. He had stopped making any kind of sound hours ago, the damage was to great for him to even moan. "What happened to him?"  
  
"Drusilla," Angel said, looking sympathetically at his injured childe/grandchilde.  
  
"Okay," Willow said, taking charge of the situation. "We don't know how he's going to react to this so Xander and Angel, hold him down. I'll pour it down his throat."  
  
"I'll do it," Buffy said.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea," Willow said. "He might resist and accidentally hurt you."  
  
"Alright," Buffy said, handing Willow the goblet. She didn't like being so helpless but Willow had a point. Besides Spike was going through all this right now because he had wanted to protect her and the baby. She wasn't going to make his suffering be in vain.  
  
"Okay guys," Willow said. "Ready?" Angel held onto Spike's upper body and Xander onto his legs. Willow took a deep breath and slowly poured the mixture down Spike's throat. Once she was done they all stood back and waited.  
  
"What happens now?" Dawn asked.  
  
"We wait," Tara said, putting her arms around Dawn.  
  
Their wait wasn't long. First there was just a slight twitch of Spike's arm, then his leg and before they had all realized what was happening Spike's while body was convulsing.  
  
"What's happening?" Buffy asked, panicked.  
  
"I don't know," Willow said. "The book didn't talk about this part."  
  
Suddenly Spike started screaming in pain, his body convulsing the whole time.  
  
"Spike," Dawn cried. She started to run to him but Buffy grabbed her and thrust her back into Tara's arms.  
  
"Get her out of here," Buffy said.  
  
"Come on, honey," Tara said, dragging a sobbing Dawn out the door.  
  
"No! No! Stop it, leave me alone," Spike began to say. Buffy hurried to his side.  
  
"Spike, it's okay," She tried to soothe. "Nothing's going to hurt you. You're safe."  
  
"No, please, stop it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." His voice had taken on the tone and quality of a child. "I'll do better next time, Uncle, I promise."  
  
"What's he talking about?" Xander asked.  
  
Buffy looked up at Angel, "He thinks he's a child again, that his uncle is beating him."  
  
Suddenly the expression on Spike's face changed, from terror to rage, "What are you doing? Leave her alone! You're hurting her! Stop it!"  
  
"Oh no," Buffy said. Spike had gone from reliving his uncle's beatings to his uncle molesting his sister. She grabbed onto his shoulders and tried to hold him down, "Spike, Spike, listen to me. It's over. That was years ago. Charlotte's safe now. You saved her. You're safe now too. You have Dawn, me and our baby and we all care about you." She looked up at Angel and Willow, "Do something."  
  
" We just have to wait it out," Willow said. "This is very old and complicated magic. There aren't any real details."  
  
"Why didn't you say that before?" Buffy yelled.  
  
"Because he would have died otherwise," Willow said.  
  
"So we just have to watch him suffer?" Buffy asked, tears coming to her eyes.  
  
"It's the only way to get the poison out of his system," Willow said.  
  
Buffy turned back to Spike. His cries of pain had ceased but the convulsions continued. Suddenly he reached out and latched on to her hand. Startled she tried to pull back but he held fast. For a brief moment his eyes opened and met hers. His cracked and bruised lips slowly managed the word, "Buffy," before he was captured again by the battle between the poison in his system and its cure. 


	32. This Isn't Where We Intended to Be

Chapter Thirty-Two: This Isn't Where We Intended To Be  
  
"How's he doing?" Angel asked, entering Buffy's room and sitting down next to her.  
  
"The convulsions stopped around sundown," Buffy said. She looked to Spike's still body. "He hasn't moved since then, though."  
  
"He still thinks he's back in the 19th century?" Angel asked.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. "He hasn't said a word either." She shook her head, "I don't know what's worse, watching him trash around like that or seeing him so still."  
  
"You're not used to seeing him like that," Angel said. "Spike's never been one to sit still. When he was stuck in that wheelchair he couldn't stand it, being so helpless and not being able to do anything." He didn't add that he hadn't helped much by taunting him and parading his renewed relationship with Drusilla in his face.  
  
"At least then he recovered," Buffy said. "Now we don't know what we're doing."  
  
"He looks better," Angel said. And he was right, the burns on Spike's body were starting to fade. He still had bruises, though and his bones hadn't finished mending. The main problem was that he wasn't waking up. "Why don't you go lay down?" He suggested. "You need your rest."  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said, stifling a yawn.  
  
"Go," Angel said. "I'll stay here with Spike."  
  
"No," Buffy said. She knew that Dawn would never forgive her for leaving Spike alone and if Spike woke up and Buffy wasn't there then she would never forgive herself.  
  
"I'll get you if there's any change," Angel said, seeing the way Buffy was looking at Spike. He hated it but he had lost his right to have any say in the matter. "Go," Angel said. "You're about to fall asleep sitting up."  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. She stood up and walked down to Willow's room. Willow and Tara were sleeping on the couch so the bed was free. She sank down onto the bed, not even bothering to take any of her clothes off. She shut her eyes and soon she was fast asleep.  
  
Angel looked around and realized for that for the first time since he had come back to Sunnydale he was alone with Spike. Previously there had always been someone with Spike.  
  
Now it was just the two of them and he wasn't sure what to do.  
  
He sighed, "Well it's just the two of us now," Spike didn't stir. "How did we get here? How do we always wind up with the same women? First Dru and now Buffy. I know we used to share women all the time in the old days but did you have to take things so literal now?" He studied the younger vampire. "How did this happen, Spike? The last time I saw you, you were sticking pokers in me to get that gem so that you could kill Buffy. Now you're living with her, sleeping with her and she's carrying your child. How did this all happen?" Spike didn't respond. "Answer me," He demanded angrily. "You owe me that much."  
  
Spike still didn't respond. Angel stood up, frustrated and began to pace around the room. He paused by the window and looked out. Then he looked down and saw something that puzzled him. Dawn was standing on the sidewalk talking to a demon with dangling skin. Angel was about to jump out the window and pull her away from him when he noticed that there was no evil intent coming the demon. They were just talking, with Dawn gesturing and the demon nodding. Finally he walked off and Dawn went back into the house.  
  
Angel was about to go and find out what she was doing when she walked through the door to Buffy's room. Dawn looked around and said, "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"She went to get some sleep," Angel explained.  
  
"Good," Dawn said. "Spike would want her to put herself and the baby first."  
  
Angel shook his head, "Spike doesn't put anyone first. All he's ever thought about is himself."  
  
Dawn glared at him, "You don't know him at all. Spike is a lot of things but he has always put Buffy and the baby first. He's doing everything he can for them." She gestured to Spike, "This happened because he was trying to protect them."  
  
"Dawn," Angel started to say and then he changed the subject, "What were you doing with that demon?"  
  
"Huh?" Dawn asked. Then she realized what he was talking about, "Oh Clem, he stopped by to see Spike."  
  
"Why?" Angel asked. "And why were you talking with a demon? This is Sunnydale, you know better than to make friends with demons."  
  
"Like you and Spike," Dawn snapped. "Look Clem and Spike are poker buddies and friends. Spike didn't show up for their poker game last night so Clem stopped by to see if he was alright and I asked him to check on something for me."  
  
"What?" Angel asked suspiciously.  
  
"None of your business," Dawn snapped. "It's something Spike and I are working on."  
  
"And what's that?" Angel asked. Dawn didn't answer so Angel insisted, "What is he making you do? Dawn, you have to tell me. It could be something dangerous."  
  
"Oh yeah," Dawn said sarcastically. "Kittens are really dangerous."  
  
"Kittens?" Angel asked.  
  
"Yeah, kittens," Dawn said, too angry to realize she was letting a secret slip. "Spike is trying to raise money to support Buffy and the baby. So he's breeding kittens. I think he wants to sell them to pet stores or something. I asked Clem to check on them."  
  
Angel looked at her incredulously, "Dawn, he hasn't told you what he plans for those kittens, has he?"  
  
"Well no," Dawn said.  
  
"Dawn, demons use kittens as currency, especially for gambling. Kittens are used as money during poker games. They're something most demons can eat so they're a very valuable commodity. Spike probably had some notion of becoming a loan shark."  
  
"You're making this up," Dawn said.  
  
"No, I'm not," Angel said. "Ask that demon you were just talking to. He'll tell you."  
  
"Kitten poker," Dawn said, remembering something Buffy had once said. Then she laughed, startling Angel. "I should have known something was up when I had to tell Clem that he couldn't eat the kittens."  
  
"What is Spike thinking?" Angel asked.  
  
"He wants to take care of us," Dawn said. "Provide for us so that Buffy doesn't have to work at the Double-Meat Palace."  
  
"By becoming a kitten loan shark," Angel said. "That's something his kid will be proud of."  
  
"Want me to tell Connor everything you've done in your life?" Dawn shot back. "I'm sure he'll be proud of you. At least Spike was a good person when he was human. Can you say the same?"  
  
Angel didn't answer. She was right but he still hated this whole situation. Spike was living the life with Buffy that he should have had. While he wouldn't have given up Connor for anything a part of him wished that Connor had been his son with Buffy. Now Spike was the one who got to have a child with her.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from the bed. Angel and Dawn looked down and Spike was thrashing around again. "Go get Buffy," Dawn ordered, hurrying to Spike's side. Angel obeyed and returned with a sleepy Buffy. "I think he's waking up," Dawn told them.  
  
Buffy sat down on Spike's other side, "Spike, can you hear me?"  
  
There was no response from Spike and then suddenly his eyes shot open, startling everyone.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, gently, hoping to get a reaction out of him.  
  
He looked around, at Buff, Dawn and then at Angel. He looked confused for a minute and then turned his gaze back to Buffy, "Slayer," He snarled, fixing her with a look that she hadn't seen from him in years. 


	33. The Memory is Fading

Chapter Thirty-Three: The Memory Is Fading  
  
Spike looked around, confused. He tried to sit up but fell back, too weak to move. "Where am I?" He growled at Buffy.  
  
"You're at my house," Buffy said, carefully. She wasn't sure what was going on. Spike looked different, harder, angrier, more like he had when she had first met him.  
  
"What am I doing here?" He asked, looking around and seeing Dawn and Angel. "Oh great, Peaches is here too. Is this some kind of torture you've invented? Your great Poof is mad at me for letting Dru play with him so you're going to tie me up and make me watch the two of you shag?" He spotted Dawn, "Who the bloody hell are you?"  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, trying to understand what he was saying. "What the last thing you remember?"  
  
He looked confused, thought for a second and then said, "Leaving that church with Dru and something bloody heavy fell on me," He eyes Buffy. "You had something to do with that, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy admitted. "But you don't remember anything else?"  
  
"No," Spike told her. "Now why am I here and what have you done with Dru?" He saw Angel and Buffy exchanging looks, "What did you do to her?" He snarled, vamping out. He tried to sit up was still too weak. "Where is she?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said, honestly.  
  
"If any of you have harmed even one hair on her head," Spike snarled. "I will make you wish that I had killed you a long time ago."  
  
"You couldn't do that even when you tried," Angel said.  
  
Spike shot up off the bed, lunging at Angel but he fell backward, crying out in pain, "What did you do to me, Slayer?"  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said. She wasn't sure what to say. Spike's memory had been damaged so that everything after that organ fell on him was gone. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  
  
He studied her for a moment, noticing something, "Are you wearing my clothes?"  
  
Buffy looked down and realized that she was wearing another one of Spike's red shirts. With Angel knowing about her pregnancy she had decided to wear her own clothes but when she went to get dressed she had discovered that nothing fit. All her pants were so tight she couldn't breath and none of her shirts fit either. Right now she was wearing a pair of sweats and one of Spike's shirts. She had decided that as soon as Spike was recovered she was going shopping for maternity clothes. She looked at Spike, trying to decide what to say, "No," She lied. "This is mine."  
  
"What? Your fashion sense changed? Decided you needed a change of pace or," He said, looking her up and down, "Been drinking too many beers down at your little hangout. Looks like you've gained a little beer belly."  
  
In an instant, Angel grabbed Spike by the throat and pinned him to the bed, vamping out himself, "Don't you ever speak to her like that again! Do you understand? She's…"  
  
"Angel," Buffy said, pulling him again from Spike. "Don't."  
  
"You're just going to let him talk to you like that?" He asked, incredulously.  
  
"He doesn't know what's going on," Buffy defended Spike, pulling Angel out of the room so that they could talk without Spike being able to hear. "He thinks it's still 1997. He doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember being paralyzed, Angulus, breaking up with Drusilla, the Initiative, our affair, the baby. He doesn't remember any of this."  
  
"So what are you going to do now?" Angel asked. "Just let him treat you like this?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I'm going to help him get his memory back."  
  
"Why?" Angel asked. "Just let him go. Set him free."  
  
"I'm not turning him lose," Buffy said. "I have to help him. I owe him that much."  
  
"Buffy, don't you see," Angel said. "This is your chance to be free of him. You can let him leave and you're free. Free to have a normal life, free to raise your baby without Spike."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I can't do that to him. If I turn him loose right now he'd be dead by sunrise. He doesn't know he can't bite people or how much time he's lost. I can't do that to him. I know what he is but I also know what he's done for Dawn, this baby and me. He's helped us a lot and I'm not going to repay him by throwing him out."  
  
"Then how about I take him back with me to L.A.," He suggested. "I can keep him under control. I've done it before."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I don't think that would be a good idea. If we want his memory to come back then we have to keep him in familiar surroundings and with familiar people. That's not in L.A."  
  
"So what do you plan to do?" Angel asked. "Keep him here and play nursemaid to him?"  
  
"I'm going to try and help him get his memory back," Buffy snapped.  
  
Angel started to speak but then Dawn poked her head out into the hall, "Buffy, Spike's trying to leave."  
  
Buffy and Angel hurried back into Buffy's room. Spike was struggling to sit up, "I'm getting out of here. You can't keep me here."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said. "You can't leave. You're still too weak."  
  
"You think I'll stay here?" Spike asked. "And give you the chance to stake me in my sleep?"  
  
"No," Dawn said. "There's going to be no staking in this house."  
  
Spike looked at her, "Who's Mini-Me?" He asked.  
  
"Don't you remember me?" Dawn asked, trying to hide her hurt.  
  
"No," Spike said.  
  
"Dawn's my little sister," Buffy explained.  
  
"Well, well, the Slayer has a little sis," Spike said. "Haven't met up with one of those before." He eyed Dawn, "I wonder if Slayer's siblings taste as good as they do."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "There's going to be no feeding in this house."  
  
"How do you plan on stopping me?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy sighed, "I really didn't want to use these but you're leaving me no choice." She opened her drawer and pulled out two pairs of handcuffs.  
  
Angel looked at them, "What are you doing with those in your room?" He asked. Then he looked at Buffy's bed, Buffy and then at her stomach. "Never mind, I don't want to know."  
  
Spike watched as Buffy handcuffed each wrist to her bed, "You know, Slayer, I always knew that Peaches was into that kinky stuff but I wouldn't have figured you for that."  
  
Buffy hid a grin. If Spike remembered even a fraction of the things that they had done together than he would realize exactly what she was capable of doing in the night. "Now don't even think about trying to escape. You wouldn't last a second out there." Spike started to complain but Anya coming in with a mug of blood interrupted him.  
  
"I thought Spike might want something to eat," She said. "Oh you're awake. How're you feeling?"  
  
"Who are you?" Spike asked, eyeing Anya. As soon as he was free he'd have to grab her. She looked like the perfect girl for him and Dru to play with before they ate her. "How about you untie me and then we can go back to my place? I'll show you my man sized manicotti."  
  
"Cute," Anya, said, annoyed with him. "This is what I get for spending my hard earned money to get some blood for you from the butchers."  
  
"Anya," Buffy said, pulling her into the hallway. "Spike doesn't remember the past few years. The last thing he remembers is when I dropped an organ on him."  
  
"Oh Amnesia," Anya said. "Just like on the soap operas."  
  
"Right," Buffy said. "So he doesn't know you, or Dawn. He basically doesn't remember anything."  
  
"Okay," Anya said. She handed Buffy the mug of blood. "Xander and I are going to go home now." Buffy glanced outside and realized that it was almost sunrise.  
  
"You go," Buffy said. "Tell Xander thanks for staying tonight. I know this isn't easy. Right back from your honeymoon and you have to hang out here."  
  
"Well I'd rather be having sex back at our home but Xander says that we need to help you right now and he's right."  
  
"Well, thanks, I'll talk to you later," Buffy said, before turning and going back into her room.  
  
Angel was standing at the foot of her bed and Dawn was standing next to Spike. "Dawn, why don't you try and get some sleep. You can stay home from school today."  
  
"Okay," Dawn said. She walked over to Buffy and said, "Is he going to remember anything? He's not going to forget about us completely, is her?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "He's not." Dawn nodded and then she went off to her room.  
  
"Why don't you go back to bed too," Angel said. "I'll handle him."  
  
"No, I'm fine," She said. "I've gone longer than this without sleep."  
  
"I won't hurt him," Angel said.  
  
Buffy was just about to agree when she heard Connor start to cry. Angel glanced at the door, obviously wanting to go to his son, "Go," Buffy told him.  
  
Angel nodded an apology and hurried out the door, to go and tend to Connor. Buffy looked back at Spike, "Are you hungry?" She asked.  
  
"Are you offering?" Spike counted.  
  
"Here," She said, holding the mug's straw to his mouth, "Drink this."  
  
Spike took a sip and then spat the straw out of his mouth, "Ugh, what is this stuff, pig's blood? Can't you get some real stuff?"  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. "This is all we have."  
  
Spike didn't want to drink pig's blood but he had to eat something so he obediently drank the blood. When he was done Buffy took the cup away. He eyed her for a moment, "Slayer, what the bloody hell is going on? Who are all those people? Why is everyone acting so bleeding strange? Where's Dru?" He studied her for a minute, "And what happened to you? Last time I saw you, you were a little stick and now you're looking a little chubby. What is going on?"  
  
Buffy stared at him, wondering how to answer his questions, one arm wrapped around her stomach. 


	34. So Many Questions And Answers That Someh...

Chapter Thirty-Four: So Many Questions and Answers That Somehow Seem Wrong  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, sitting down on the bed next to him. She wasn't worried he'd hurt her. The handcuffs were secure, she knew that from experience and she could get away if she had to. "What's the very last thing you remember?"  
  
Spike thought hard for a minute and then said, "That sodding thing falling on me in that church."  
  
"Nothing else?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No," Spike said, pulling on the handcuffs. "Now let me go."  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. "You're not going anywhere."  
  
"What do you care?" He asked. "Thought you'd stake me at the first opportunity."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "There's no staking involved. I just want to know what you remember."  
  
"That's it," Spike snapped. "Now undo these bloody cuffs."  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. They don't have a key." She didn't tell him that he was the only one who really knew how to unlock them. Although she suspected that Dawn knew. She had caught Spike teaching Dawn how to pick a lock using the handcuffs. Plus Buffy has practiced a few times herself.  
  
"What?" Spike exploded. "You tie me up with handcuffs and you don't even have the sodding key?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "They didn't come with them." She was telling the truth again. When Spike had brought them to her room he had told her that he had lost the keys decades ago.  
  
"Well figure out something," Spike snapped. "And let me go."  
  
"Not going to happen," Buffy said.  
  
"Look, Slayer," Spike said. "You don't want me here anymore than I want to be here so why don't you just let me go home to Dru and we'll all be happy." Buffy looked away, giving Spike the wrong impression. His expression changed from anger to panic, "What? What happened to Dru? Did you hurt her? Where is she?"  
  
Buffy blinked back tears and tried to push away her hurt. Then she wondered why she was hurt in the first place. Why was she so upset over the fact that Spike was so concerned about his former lover? Then she brushed it off, deciding that it was probably hormones. "Dru's fine," She told him. "I don't know where she is but she's fine."  
  
Spike shook his head. The Slayer didn't understand. He didn't know if the ritual had restored Dru or not and if it hadn't then she would be helpless. She needed him. "How do you know this?" He asked.  
  
"I've seen her since that night in the church," Buffy said. "And there is nothing wrong with her."  
  
Spike was relieved that his dark princess was alright but he wondered why she hadn't come for him. "Good," He said. "So why don't you let me go and we'll forget this never happened." He looked around, "And I'll even forget what the inside of a Slayer's bedroom looks like."  
  
"You're not leaving here," Buffy said, standing up. She took the mug. "Try and get some sleep. Someone will be up later with some more blood."  
  
"Why don't you just let me go? Let me find my own bloody dinner?"  
  
Buffy gestured to the window, "Because if you left now I'd be naming…." She stopped just in time from saying that she'd be naming her child Big Pile of Dust Jr.  
  
Spike studied her for a minute, "Naming who?" He asked.  
  
"I'd be renaming you Big Pile of Dust," Buffy covered. "It's daylight." She sighed, "You'll be safe here. No one's going to stake you here."  
  
"And I can trust you not to stake me because…?" Spike asked.  
  
"I've let you live this far," Buffy pointed out. "Look just try and get some sleep. No one's staking you."  
  
"Why?" Spike asked. "I'd think you'd be first in line to turn me into a big pile of dust."  
  
"Well I'm not," Buffy said. Then before he could protest, she added, "I have my reasons for keeping you alive, well unalive. I'll explain them to you once you've recovered a little more."  
  
"Explain them to me now," Spike ordered.  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, now's not the right time. Why don't you take a nap and we'll talk more later."  
  
Spike growled, "I don't take orders from a Slayer," Spike said.  
  
"You're not in much of a bargaining position," Buffy said. "Don't forget for once you're the one chained up." Then she realized that she had slipped, by mentioning that she was the one usually tied up.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked.  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said. "I'll explain later." She turned to go, "Seriously, get some sleep. That's all you can do right now anyway. I doubt you could walk out of here if you tried."  
  
Spike didn't say anything. She was right. He hadn't felt this weak since before he was turned, even dying he hadn't felt this weak. He just remembered the ecstasy of Dru sucking the life out of him, he didn't remember any more. He glanced up at the handcuffs and then shut his eyes. He hadn't felt this weak and helpless since he'd been human and his uncle had beaten him. He paused, wondering why he was thinking about his Uncle Charles. He hadn't thought about him in decades, not since he'd killed his cousin, Frederick in revenge for what Charles had done to him and Charlotte and for what Frederick was doing to Charlotte. Charlotte…. Spike shook his head. He wasn't going to think about his precious baby sister, not now, not ever. He had promised himself a long time ago, after he'd fed on his cousin and freed his sister from a life of misery, that he was never going to think of her or his human family ever again.  
  
"Spike," Buffy asked, looking down at him. "What's wrong?"  
  
His eyes flew open. Apparently he hadn't realized that she was still there and she saw the brightness of his eyes as he fought to keep her from seeing. "What are you still doing here?" He growled, angry at being seen when he was so vulnerable.  
  
"My room," Buffy pointed out.  
  
"Get out," Spike said, yanking at the handcuffs, his voice betraying him.  
  
"Spike, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, sitting back down on the bed next to him.  
  
"Nothing," Spike said, turning away from her. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He should be able to control himself better and he should know better than to think about his human family. Every time he did he had no control over himself and it usually ended in something being killed very violently and Angulus having to teach him a lesson.  
  
Buffy studied him. She knew that look. She saw it in his eyes every time he mentioned Charlotte or Charles. "You're thinking about Charlotte, aren't you?"  
  
Spike turned back to her, his entire face vamping out, "Who told you about Charlotte?"  
  
"Uh," Buffy said, trying to think of an answer. "You called out the name Charlotte while you were out," She explained. "Who was she?"  
  
"None of your bloody business," Spike growled at her, furious that he had called out for his sister.  
  
"She must have been someone important to you if you called out for her," Buffy said, hoping that talking about Charlotte might trigger something. Spike had talked about her to both Buffy and Dawn and he might remember their conversations.  
  
"No," Spike said, his voice thick with emotion, "She wasn't."  
  
"Then why do you have this?" Buffy asked, pulling a framed photo of Charlotte out of her dresser. She and Dawn had had it restored and framed for Spike as a surprise. He had been touched at the gesture.  
  
"Where did you get this?" Spike snarled, pulling at the chains, itching to grab the photo out of her hands. Where had she gotten that? It had been at the bottom of a trunk that he had hidden in the back seat of his car. There was no way that the Slayer would have been able to find it and then why had she gotten it, prettied it all up and framed it? Charlotte meant nothing to her.  
  
"I found it," Buffy said, telling the truth. She had found the picture in the pocket of Spike's duster when she was looking for all his cigarettes. She had taken advantage of his not wearing it while he slept to search it and throw out every cigarette she could find. He had been furious with her until she had pointed out that second hand smoke wasn't good for the baby.  
  
"It's not yours," Spike told her. "Now give it to me."  
  
"Don't worry," Buffy said, putting the picture on the bedside table. "It'll be right here." She stood up again. "Now get some rest."  
  
Spike studied her for a moment and then said, "Could you untie me? I'll probably sleep better if I'm not chained up."  
  
Buffy hesitated and then decided to. He was too weak to leave the house anyway. What harm could it do? She grabbed a bobby pin and quickly picked the lock. Then she left the room and went downstairs and into the kitchen.  
  
Willow and Tara were at their classes, Xander and Anya had gone home and Dawn was asleep. So Buffy was alone in the house except for Angel and Cordelia who were upstairs, comforting a fussy Connor. She had heard the baby crying when she had walked downstairs and was surprised that Spike hadn't noticed.  
  
Buffy sat down at the kitchen island and made herself some toast. She wasn't hungry but she had to eat for the baby's sake. When Spike regained his memory he would be furious if he found out she hadn't been taking care of their baby. She sipped a glass of orange juice and felt her eyes grow heavy. The late nights had started to take effect and before she knew it her head had fallen onto the counter and she had fallen asleep.  
  
Buffy wasn't sure how long she had been asleep but she was awakened by Angel's voice, "Buffy, wake up."  
  
Buffy looked around sleepily, "Huh, what's going on?"  
  
"Buffy, where's Spike?" Angel asked.  
  
"He's upstairs," Buffy said.  
  
"No he's not," Angel said. "I just checked in your room and he's gone." 


	35. To Find A Way To You

Thirty Five: To Find A Way To You  
  
"What?" Buffy said, coming instantly awake. "What do you mean he's gone?"  
  
"I went to your room to check on him," Angel said. "And he's not there."  
  
Buffy hurried off the stool and up the stairs, Angel right behind her. She entered her bedroom and stopped short at the sight. Angel had been right. Spike was gone.  
  
"How did he get free?" Angel asked, looking at the empty handcuffs.  
  
"I undid the cuffs," Buffy admitted, walking over to the bed.  
  
"Why?" Angel asked. "Why did you untie him?"  
  
"It was daylight," Buffy said, staring down at the bedside table. "I didn't think he would leave."  
  
"Well the sun's gone down enough so that he could leave," Angel said. "Now he's out there somewhere…"  
  
"And he's helpless," Buffy said. "He doesn't know about the chip. He thinks he can still bite people."  
  
"He might come back," Angel said. "Once he realizes he's helpless. Didn't he come to you for help once before after he was first chipped?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "He took Charlotte's picture." He'd never leave that behind. "He's not coming back. So we have to find him before…" She didn't even want to think of what might happen.  
  
"Okay," Angel said. "Willow and Tara took Dawn to the Bronze with them. I think Xander and Anya were going to join them. Let's find them and start a search party."  
  
"Let's go then," Buffy said. She paused only to tell Cordelia to stay at the house in case of the slim chance that Spike might come back. She hurried out the door with Angel close behind.  
  
It didn't take long for them to reach the Bronze. As Angel had predicted the Scoobys were sitting at a table.  
  
"Hey," Willow said. "You finally woke up and decided to join us."  
  
"Where's Spike?" Dawn asked. "Did you leave him by himself?"  
  
"Spike's run off," Buffy said. "Angel went to check on him and found the room empty."  
  
"How was he able to run off?" Dawn asked. "I thought you tied him up."  
  
"Oh you do that," Anya said. "I've tried to get Xander to try that but won't let me."  
  
"Honey," Xander said. He looked at Buffy, "Did you tie him up?"  
  
"I untied him," Buffy admitted. "I didn't think he'd run away. I thought that he was too weak."  
  
"Vampires heal fast," Angel pointed out. "He'll probably be back to full strength in the next few days."  
  
"Obviously," Buffy said. "So now he's out there and we have to find him before he gets himself killed."  
  
"No," Dawn said, panicking. "He can't. You have to find him."  
  
"We're going to," Buffy assured her sister. She looked at her friends, "Willow, you and Tara take Dawn home.."  
  
"No," Dawn protested. "I'm going to help look for Spike."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I need you to wait at the house with Cordelia in case Spike does come back." Dawn glared at her so Buffy said, "Do it, I can't afford to be worrying about you too."  
  
"Fine," Dawn snapped.  
  
Buffy turned back to Willow and Tara, "After you take Dawn home can you do a location spell? If you can find Spike bring him back to the house." She turned to Xander and Anya, "Check out the demon bars. Spike might be there, looking for something to eat. Angel and I will check out the warehouse and the cemeteries." She looked around at everyone, "Let's go. We need to find him before someone else does."  
  
Buffy turned and hurried out the door, followed by Angel.  
  
"I really think that you should wait at home," Angel said.  
  
Buffy stopped and looked at him, "Are you telling me what to do?"  
  
"No," Angel said. "But I know you haven't been patrolling in months and you're not training right now. You can't fight so why don't you stay where you're safe."  
  
"Because," Buffy said, "If I was the one in danger than Spike would do whatever he could to save me. I owe him that. Now are you going to help me find him or not."  
  
"Fine," Angel said. "Let's find him before he runs into the wrong demon and gets himself staked."  
  
"Let's go to the warehouse first," Buffy said. "That's where Spike was tortured and the last place he remembers living. He probably went there first."  
  
Angel nodded and they hurried as fast as they could towards the warehouse. They arrived there and the place looked deserted from the outside.  
  
"Let's go in and look around," Buffy suggested.  
  
"I'll go in," Angel said. "This place is about ready to fall down and I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy said. "I'll be careful." Then she brushed past Angel and into the warehouse. She looked around. It was obvious that someone had been here and had left in a hurry. There were papers everywhere, wires, and a blackboard and marker board.  
  
"You're sure Dru was here?" Angel asked, looking around.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "Dawn saw her."  
  
"This isn't her style," Angel said, picking up some papers. He handed some to Buffy and looked through the others. "Especially working with humans. If she wanted minions then why didn't she go out and turn some?"  
  
Buffy stared at the papers she was holding, "I think that might have been part of the plan." She handed Angel the papers.  
  
Angel read what was on them, "List of goals: Establish bases, defeat Slayer, kill Baby Slayer, kill Slayer, become vampires, open…." He looked up. "It ends there."  
  
Buffy shook her head; "Those guys want to become vampires?"  
  
"That must be where Drusilla comes in," Angel said. Angel studied the papers, "According to this they had a deal. Those guys and your midwife would kill you and your baby and in exchange Dru would turn them all into vampires. Then she'd leave Sunnydale with Spike and leave the town to them."  
  
"Maybe she counted on this," Buffy said. "She might have planned out this whole thing, the torture, the poison and then that the only cure would cause him to lose his memory."  
  
"It's possible," Angel conceded. "She might have had some kind of premonition. It wouldn't be the first time."  
  
"Which means we're not the only ones looking for Spike," Buffy said. "Drusilla's probably out there too."  
  
"And we'd better find him before she does," Angel said.  
  
"Then let's go," Buffy said. She was not going to lose him to Drusilla.  
  
"Where should we look?" Angel asked, as they left the factory and hurried out."  
  
"You're asking me?" Buffy said. "Where do you think that either one of them would go. After all they're your creations." She instantly regretted what she had said when she saw the stricken look on Angel's face. "I'm sorry," Buffy apologized. "I didn't mean that."  
  
"It's okay," Angel said. "I know what I did to both of them and I'll regret it for the rest of my existence."  
  
"Then let's find them," Buffy said. "Before it can get any worse. Let's check out Spike's crypt. We might find something there."  
  
They got to the cemetery as fast they could, pausing only to slay a few vampires that got in their way. They got to Spike's crypt and slowly opened the door. The TV was on but Buffy didn't see any sign on Spike.  
  
"Hello," Buffy called. "Anyone home?"  
  
"Hi," Said a voice. He stepped out into the light. It was Clem. He was holding a tabby cat in his arms.  
  
"Clem," Buffy said, surprised. "What are you doing in Spike's crypt?"  
  
"I've been staying here ever since he moved in with you," He explained. "And your sister wanted me to keep an eye on the cats."  
  
"Cats?" Buffy asked. "What are Spike and Dawn doing with cats?"  
  
"Long story," Angel said. "I'll tell you later." He looked at Clem, "Have you seen Spike?"  
  
"No," Clem said, confused. "I thought he was still unconscious."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "He's awake but he's forgotten the past few years and now he's running lose out there."  
  
"He's not here," Clem said, now concerned.  
  
"You're sure you haven't seen him," Angel asked, carefully.  
  
"I'm sure," Clem said. "You're the only people to come through those doors today."  
  
Angel shook his head, "I hear something." He looked at Buffy. "Is there another part to this place?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. She gestured to the trapdoor that was covered by a rug. Angel pulled the rug back and lifted the trapdoor. Angel crawled down and Buffy followed, after telling Clem to stay in the upper level in case Spike showed up.  
  
Buffy and Angel looked around. Angel winced at the sight of the huge bed, which was still unmade from the last time Spike and Buffy had been in it. "Nice place," Was all Angel said.  
  
"Thank you," Said a familiar British voice from a dark corner. Spike came out of the shadows, Drusilla holding onto his arm. "Slayer, Peaches, good of you to visit our new home. Dru put it all together while you two had me chained up."  
  
Buffy exchanged a look with Angel. What had Drusilla told him? What other lies had she spun?  
  
"Everyone is here now," Drusilla said, looking around. "And the party can begin."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes but Angel said, "What kind of party, Dru?"  
  
"You'll see," Dru said. And then she lunged at Angel, attacking him, biting and clawing. Angel fought back but Drusilla had the benefit of rage on her side and soon had the upper hand.  
  
"Guess it's just you and me, Slayer," Spike said, once he decided that Dru was holding her own.  
  
Buffy slowly backed away from Spike, one hand protectively over her stomach, "You don't want to do this," She told him.  
  
"Oh yes I do," Spike said, advancing on Buff. "You have no idea how long I've waited or how much I want to do this."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, in an effort to get through to him. "Listen to me,"  
  
"No," Spike said, grabbing her wrist. "You listen to me. You help me prisoner, chained to your bed. Now it's your turn." Before Buffy could react he pulled her over to a familiar set of chains and chained her up.  
  
Buffy glared at him, "I can't wait until you come to your senses and realize what you're doing." If they all got out of this alive she was so going to make him pay. He'd be lucky if she just banished him to the couch.  
  
"I know what I'm doing," Spike said as he turned the key in the lock and stepped back.  
  
"What your ho of an ex?" Buffy asked, gesturing with her head towards Angel and Drusilla. Angel had gotten the upper and was now tying Dru to the same pillar that she had been tied to the last time she had been in the crypt.  
  
"Let her go," Spike growled at Angel.  
  
"I'll let her go if you'll let her go," Angel said, gesturing to Buffy.  
  
The two vampires just stood there staring at each other until Buffy, taking advantage of their distraction, used the chains as a brace, pulled her legs up as close as her increasing stomach would allow and kicked out, hitting Spike right in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. 


	36. Reviewing the Situation

Thirty Six: Reviewing The Situation  
  
"What the…" Dawn said, opening the door for Buffy as she walked through the door, followed by Angel and Clem, carrying an unconscious Spike. Dawn glared at Buffy, "What did you do to him?"  
  
Buffy glared back at her sister. She was in no mood for a fight with Dawn over her treatment of Spike, "Don't start," She warned her sister.  
  
"Is he okay?" Dawn asked.  
  
"He's fine, for now," Buffy said.  
  
"Where did you find him?" Dawn asked.  
  
"In his crypt," Buffy explained.  
  
"How did he get there?" Dawn wondered. "He wouldn't have been able to remember living the crypt, unless," She looked hopefully at Buffy, "Is his memory back?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "It isn't. Drusilla found him and brought him there."  
  
"Where is she now?" Dawn asked, worried. Growing up on the Hellmouth there weren't a lot of things that scared her but Drusilla was one of the few things that truly scared her. Dawn had had a few run ins with Dru when Dru and Spike had first come to town and Drusilla had made an impression on Dawn.  
  
"Hopefully she's still tied up in Spike's crypt," Angel said.  
  
"She'll get free," Buffy predicted. "She has before. Which means she's going to come after Spike again." She looked at Angel and the Scoobys, who were all in the living room and gestured for them to follow her into the kitchen, leaving Dawn and Clem to watch Spike.  
  
"What's going on?" Willow asked. "Did you find anything about why all this is happening?"  
  
"I think so," Buffy said, handing Willow the papers she brought from the warehouse.  
  
Willow studied them and said incredulously, "Are these guys for real?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "They are. It looks like they made a trade. Drusilla would turn them into vampires and leave them to rule over Sunnydale and in exchange they would kill me, my baby and turn Spike against all of us."  
  
"How does she plan on doing that?" Anya asked.  
  
"She planned the whole thing," Angel said. "She knew that you guys would try and cure Spike and she knew that the potion you used would erase his memory."  
  
"So what do we do now?" Willow asked.  
  
"We're not untying him again," Angel said.  
  
"I think there are chains in the basement," Xander said. "I'll get everything set up for him down there."  
  
"Spike's not being chained in the basement," Buffy said. "We'll chain him back in my room."  
  
"Oh, I see," Xander said. "Spike escapes, meets up with his ex, tries to kill you and you reward him by giving him your bed."  
  
"I am not chaining him up," Buffy said. "And anyone who has a problem with that can leave." She looked around, waiting for someone to move. When no one did she said, "Good that's settled."  
  
"So what do we do now?" Anya asked. "Is there any way we can help him get his memory back?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said. She looked at Willow and Tara, "Are there any spells or magic that could make him remember?"  
  
"I don't know," Willow said. "There might be but the potion that took his memory away is really old magic. I was lucky to find it, finding the spell to bring it back might be nearly impossible."  
  
"How about just trying to refresh his memory," Tara suggested. "Remind him of things that might trigger a memory?"  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea," Buffy said. "If we told him everything that's happened in the past five years he would believe us. He'll think it was some kind of trick."  
  
"But there's evidence to support it," Tara said, gesturing to Buffy's stomach. "He has to have noticed…"  
  
"He has," Buffy admitted. "But he's been so distracted he hasn't noticed the baby's heartbeat." Spike had been able to hear the heartbeat practically from the moment that they had found out that she was pregnant. Most nights after Buffy had fallen asleep he would lay awake with his head resting on or near her stomach, listening. Buffy had lost count of the number of times she'd woken up and seen him in that position. "He just thinks I'm putting on weight."  
  
"Well why don't you tell him the truth," Willow suggested.  
  
"He won't believe it," Buffy said. "Suppose five years ago someone had told all of us what we'd be doing now. Would any of us have believed it?" She looked around. Everyone had shaken their heads. They wouldn't have believed it and Spike wouldn't either.  
  
"He'll believe it if we let him try and bite one of us," Xander suggested. "I think the migraine might convince him that we're telling the truth."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "That wouldn't convince him. Let's wait a few days and see what happens. He might regain his memory on his own," although she doubted that that would happen.  
  
"So you just wait around for him to regain his memory?" Xander said. "You're just going to waste your time waiting around for something to happen that's not going to happen. I'm all for throwing him out and letting him fend for himself." He looked around at the horrified faces, "What? Don't tell him you haven't thought about it. I'm just the only one brave enough to say that we should throw him out and hope he won't come back."  
  
"No one is throwing anyone out," Buffy said. She looked around. "Spike isn't going anywhere. He stays."  
  
"I don't know," Angel said. "For once I agree with Xander, it might be better to let Spike go and let him find his own way back. It might be better for you too. You're not stuck taking care of Spike until and if he gets his memory back."  
  
"I am not sending him out there. He's helpless and he doesn't even know it. He can't kill and if Drusilla finds him then we're never going to see him again."  
  
"And we have a problem with that because….?" Xander asked. Buffy shot him an angry look and he shut up.  
  
"Look, I'll take him back to LA," Angel said. "I can keep him there until he regains his memory. He'll be safe from Dru and you can get on with your life."  
  
"You can't be serious," Buffy said. "Get on with my life? How can you even think that's possible? Look at me. How am I supposed to forget about Spike and move on with my life when I'm carrying his child?"  
  
"I'm am offering you a chance," Angel said. "A chance for a normal life. I tried to give you that before. Now you can have it again."  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" Buffy said. "I am not going to throw Spike out. Sure he's a pain in my ass but he is also the father of my child and I'm not abandoning him."  
  
"Spike just chained you up in his crypt and offered to feed you to Drusilla," Angel said. "You don't owe him anything."  
  
"It isn't the first time that's happened," Buffy snapped.  
  
"He makes a habit of this?" Angel asked, staring at her in disbelief.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "Look, Spike's not himself right now and I am not going to punish him because of what happened to him when he was trying to protect me."  
  
"You're setting yourself up to get hurt," Angel said. "He would turn you over to Drusilla without batting an eye."  
  
"No he won't," Buffy said. "He won't get the chance while he stays in this house."  
  
"Buffy…" Angel started to say.  
  
"Look," Buffy said, her patience finally wearing out. "Spike stays, no argument."  
  
"I just don't think…" Angel tried again.  
  
"He is the father of my child," Buffy stated. "If Darla had survived Connor's birth, would you have thrown her out? I mean she was a soulless vampire too. According to your theory then you should have thrown her out too."  
  
"That was a different situation," Angel said. "Darla was Connor's mother."  
  
"Right," Buffy said. "And Spike is my baby's father. I know you hate that but it's the way it is. Now Spike is staying, no arguments."  
  
Angel, Buffy and Xander glared at each other for a minute until finally Angel let out a sigh of frustration and said, "Fine but Cordelia, Connor and I are staying here until I know you're safe."  
  
"You can stay as long as you want," Buffy said. "But you have your life back in L.A. What about that?"  
  
"They can manage without me," Angel said. "For a few weeks at least."  
  
"So we're staying here then?" Cordelia asked, coming into the kitchen, Connor in her arms. The baby immediately brightened at the sight of his father. Angel picked him up and held him.  
  
"Right," Angel said. "We're going to stay here as long as we need to. At least until Spike gets his memory back."  
  
"How long will that be?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"Soon," Buffy said. "We found a way to save him and that cost him his memory. Now we have to find a way to get it back."  
  
"We will," Willow said. "Tara and I are already looking for a spell that will help."  
  
"Good," Buffy said. Then she looked past Cordelia and saw Dawn standing in the kitchen doorway. "Dawn?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I uh think Spike's waking up," Dawn said. 


	37. The World I Have Known Is Lost In Shambl...

Chapter Thirty Seven: The World I Have Known Is Lost In Shambles  
  
"Spike's waking up?" Buffy repeated.  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. "I think he is."  
  
Buffy hurried out of the kitchen and into the living room. Spike was still lying on the couch, Clem was standing near by in case he was needed. Buffy sat down at the edge of the couch, "Spike," She said. "Can you hear me?" She looked at Dawn and Clem, "Has he said anything?"  
  
"Nothing that made any sense," Dawn said. "We really couldn't hear what he said. He was just muttering."  
  
"Spike rarely makes sense," Xander said to Angel. Buffy glared at him and he shut up.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy asked again, hoping for a reaction. She was rewarded by Spike slowly opening his eyes.  
  
"Slayer?" He said. He started to sit up but then fell back again with a groan, "Bloody hell, what did you do to me this time?"  
  
"I gave you what you needed," Buffy said. "A good kick in the head. You're just lucky that I wasn't wearing heels."  
  
Spike looked around, "Where am I?"  
  
"My living room," Buffy said. "And don't even think about trying to run away again. Now you have a choice, you can let us help you up to my room. You'll be chained up again but you'll be comfortable or if you put up a fight we'll chain you up in the basement."  
  
"How about you just let me go," Spike suggested. "Why am I even here?" He looked over at Angel, "You starting a collection of live vampires or something." Then he noticed Connor in Angel's arms, "Who's the kid? Eating babies again, Angelus? Thought that you were finished with that."  
  
Angel's arms tightened around his son, "He's not a snack," Angel said. "He's my son."  
  
Spike stared at Angel for a minute and then burst out laughing, "Good one Peaches, your kid, that's so ridiculous it's funny."  
  
"It's the truth," Angel said.  
  
"Right," Spike said, still looking amused. "And who's his mum, the Slayer over there. Looks like she still hasn't gotten her figure back." Then his amused expression changed to one of confusion, "If you and the Slayer managed to have a kid then how long was I out? Cause she was a little twig last time we saw each other. And how were you able to knock up the Slayer in the first place. If I remember right you were the person who told me that vamps don't reproduce the old fashioned way."  
  
"Buffy isn't Connor's mother," Angel said.  
  
"Connor, you couldn't even give the kid a proper name," Spike said. "Man, he's going to hate you when he gets older."  
  
Angel looked amused for the first time since he'd arrived, "And what would you have picked? The vampire who named himself Spike."  
  
"Remind me to buy Spike a book of baby names," Dawn whispered to Tara. "Who knows what he'll pick on his own." Tara hid a smile as she agreed.  
  
"So who is the kid's mum?" Spike asked. "Who'd you cheat on the Slayer with?"  
  
"I did not cheat on Buffy," Angel said. "We weren't even together when Connor was conceived and since you're asking. Connor's mother was…."  
  
"Angel," Buffy interrupted. "Why don't you and Spike get caught up later." She shot Angel a look that told him to shut up.  
  
"Fine," Angel said.  
  
"No," Spike said, sitting up with an effort. Xander and Clem both stepped closer in case they were needed to restrain Spike. "No, I want to know a few things. Like how long was I out?" He gestured to Angel and then to Buffy, who was sitting next to him. "Last I remember you two couldn't keep your bloody hands off each other. Now you're saying that you two were apart long enough for the great Poof over there to miraculously knock up some whore and for the kid to be born. Stuff like that doesn't happen overnight. Now how long have I been here?"  
  
Everyone exchanged looks not sure what to tell him. Finally Buffy said, "Uh guys can you give us a minute?"  
  
"No," Xander said. "We're not leaving you alone with him."  
  
Buffy glared at him, "That wasn't a request."  
  
"No one's leaving you alone with him," Xander repeated. "Not unless you chain him up." He changed his tone, trying to reason with her, "Look if you got into a fight with him you could really get hurt and so could…"  
  
"Fine," Buffy snapped, knowing that he was right and hating it. She turned to Spike and said, "I'll answer all your questions but only if you let us chain you back up."  
  
"Why?" Spike asked. "So you can stake me, no thanks."  
  
"No one will get hurt," Buffy said. She and Spike stared at each other for a minute and then finally he nodded.  
  
Leaving everyone downstairs, Spike and Buffy went upstairs. There Buffy chained Spike to her bed, "And don't even think about trying to escape," Buffy warned. "Because I will just track you down again and bring you right back."  
  
"Why do you want me around so much," Spike asked. "I thought we had that hate/hate relationship going?"  
  
"It's sort of evolved," Buffy said. "Now I promised that I'd tell you everything that you want to know. So ask way."  
  
"Fine," Spike snapped. "What the bloody hell am I doing here and how long have I been here?"  
  
"I didn't want to tell you any of this," Buffy said. "I was hoping things would resolve themselves on their own but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Spike, the last thing you remember was leaving that church was Drusilla, right?" Spike nodded. "Well that was five years ago."  
  
Spike stared at her for a minute, "You're trying to tell me that I was out for five years like Rip van bloody Winkle?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "You weren't unconscious for five years. You've forgotten five years."  
  
"How?" Spike asked. "You hit me in the head again or something?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "You were poisoned and the antidote that saved you erased part of your memory."  
  
"Who poisoned me?" Spike asked, eyeing her suspiciously.  
  
"It wasn't me," Buffy said. "I wouldn't poison you and then cure you right away. It was Drusilla. She tied you up, tortured you and then poured that poison down your throat."  
  
Spike was stunned but then quickly recovered his speech, "No, Dru wouldn't do something like that, not to me. We're…." He couldn't even describe exactly what Drusilla was to him.  
  
"Not anymore," Buffy said gently. "You two have been apart for about four years. The two of you left town and then a few months later you came back after she dumped you for a chaos demon."  
  
Spike stared at her for a minute and then started laughing, "Right, Dru left me for a chaos demon. That's a good one Slayer. First you tell me that Dru tried to kill me, then you say that she left me for a chaos demon, what's next? She and Peaches got back together?" Buffy didn't answer. She just looked at Spike, with a sympathetic look on her face. "What?" Spike continued, seeing the look on her face, "No, no this is some sodding trick!"  
  
"No," Buffy said, sadly. "This isn't a trick. It's what happened. You and Drusilla broke up." She reached over to touch him but he pulled away. "And yes, she and Angel were involved while the two of you were living here."  
  
"No," Spike repeated. "No, I'd never give her up without a fight. Angelus would never touch Dru, not while I was around."  
  
"You couldn't have fought him," Buffy said. "That organ that I dropped on you smashed your legs and you couldn't walk. Angel used that time to get involved with Drusilla again."  
  
"And where were you?" Spike asked angrily. "Last thing I remember is you and Peaches making sheep's eyes at each other but you still let him cheat on you with Dru?"  
  
"He wasn't Angel then," Buffy said. "He was turned back into Angelus."  
  
"How?" Spike wondered. "Thought that soul thing was undoable."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "That's not important. The point is the you and Dru aren't together anymore and I still have to fill you in on what's happened in the past five years." Spike looked away from her. "Look," Buffy said, trying to reach him. "I know that this is hard but you got over it once before and moved on."  
  
Spike looked back at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears, "What do you know, huh?" He asked, angrily. "You don't know anything about me and Dru. She…."  
  
"Was the face of your salvation, you're nothing without her, yeah, I know all this," Buffy said. "I know. I've heard this all before." She sighed. "I know it hurts but you did move on and fall into your strange version of love again."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "And who's this person?"  
  
Buffy wished that she hadn't said that. She wasn't ready to tell Spike about how involved they were and about their baby. He wasn't ready either. In his mind he was still in love with Drusilla. Finding out that he was living with her and that they were expecting a child might make an already bad situation worse. "That's not important. What's important now is that we figure out a way to get your memory back."  
  
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Spike asked. "Obviously, hitting me in the head isn't going to work."  
  
"Willow and Tara are working on finding a spell that can restore your memory," Buffy explained.  
  
"Do they know what they're doing?" Spike said.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said. "They're both talented witches and they've done some pretty powerful spells already."  
  
"Like what?" Spike asked, suspiciously. "If they're going to be performing mojo on me than I want to know what they can do."  
  
"Well," Buffy said, thoughtfully. "Willow's raised the dead and Tara arranged for a vampire to become human long enough for him to get someone pregnant." Then she gasped, realizing what she had just said.  
  
"So that's how Angel managed to knock someone up. Your friend did some mojo and made him all mortal again."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "That's not how Connor was conceived. Connor is the child of two vampires."  
  
Spike stared at her, horrified, "Who is that kid's mum? Tell me," He ordered. He couldn't even say what he was thinking. It was too terrible to even think of.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Buffy said, not seeing the look on Spike's face.  
  
"It does," Spike said. "Tell me now." He shut, his eyes, hoping that his worst fears hadn't come true.  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. "It was Darla. Darla was Connor's mother."  
  
"What?" Spike said. "You expect me to believe that. Darla's dead, remember? Angel staked her." His voice turned thoughtful, "I never understood how he could do that. They were together for centuries and he still killed her. He chose you over her…" He shook his head, in disbelief.  
  
Buffy smiled weakly, "There came a time when you understood what Angel did and why. And Darla was Connor's mother. Darla was brought back from the dead and she and Angel made Connor."  
  
"How did that happen and where's my ole great-grandsire?" Spike asked. "She dump the kid on Angelus or something?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "She staked herself so that Connor could live. As for how… you'll have to ask Angel. I don't know the details."  
  
Spike shook his head, "Angel and Darla have a kid. If that doesn't give you nightmares, nothing will." Then he remembered something Buffy had said. "Who was the vamp who knocked up some mortal? Anyone I know?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy said with a touch of sarcasm. "You know these people intimately."  
  
Spike looked puzzled. The only person he was really close with was Drusilla and if what the Slayer said was true then he and Drusilla had been apart for years. He really couldn't think of anyone else that he could be close to. It had been the two of them for over a century. There had been Darla and Angelus but that had been a century ago. After Angelus had gained his soul and Darla had left, he and his princess had been alone, just the two of them except for a few minions that they kept around. But Drusilla was gone now so who could it be that he was close too, especially if one was human. He was a vampire. He ate humans, he didn't make friends with them, unless he decided to play with his food a little. "Who?" Spike asked.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked, jerking awake. While Spike had been thinking Buffy had fallen asleep sitting up. "What?"  
  
Spike sighed, irritated. "Who are the vamp and his human? You said that I know them, well who the bloody hell are they?"  
  
Buffy stood up, rubbing her aching back as she did so, "Let's talk about this later, okay."  
  
"No," Spike said. "I want to know."  
  
"Spike, I've told you enough for tonight. I have to get some sleep." Buffy said, trying to stifle a yawn.  
  
Spike and Buffy glared at each other, daring the other to break. Buffy knew that she could just walk out but she didn't want to lose this fight. Suddenly the angry look on Spike's face changed to one of confusion. He heard something but it didn't sound right and he couldn't place it. "What's that?" He asked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked, annoyed.  
  
"That sound, you don't hear it?" Spike told her. "That thumping noise, sounds like a really fast heartbeat."  
  
Buffy stared at him in horror, her hands automatically going to her stomach in a protective gesture. Spike had only been able to hear the baby's heartbeat before when his head was pressed next to her stomach but now the baby had grown and his heartbeat must have gotten louder. Spike must have been able to hear it now from a distance. What was she going to do? 


	38. Dreaming, Scheming and Screaming

Chapter Thirty Eight: Dreaming, Scheming and Screaming  
  
"Well," Spike snapped. "What is that noise? You got some kind of clock or something?"  
  
Buffy didn't say anything. She couldn't tell him the noise he heard wasn't a clock but the sound of their baby's heartbeat. He wasn't ready to hear that they were expecting a child. Buffy knew that Spike was on edge as it was. The news about the baby might send him right over. "It's nothing," She said. "It's probably something outside."  
  
"No," Spike said. "My memory might not be so good but my hearings fine and that sound is coming from this room. Now what is it?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy lied. "I don't have vampire hearing. I don't hear anything."  
  
"Well you must have some idea," Spike said sarcastically. "So what is it?" Both he and Buffy were silent and in the silence all Spike could hear was the strange thumping noise. The sound brought him back to the sixties when Drusilla used to drag him to abortion clinics so she could make meals out of the women waiting for abortions. Some of the women had been pretty far along and he could hear the heartbeats of the unborn children. Drusilla could too and she had enjoyed the sound. In fact those where the women she usually picked first as a meal.  
  
He listened to the mysterious noise for a little while longer, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Finally he said, "What is going on, Slayer. I want to know the whole sodding truth, no matter how ugly it is."  
  
"Later," Buffy said. "I've told you enough for now. It's morning so why don't you get some sleep and I'll talk to you in the evening." She tried to leave again but Spike's voice stopped her.  
  
"No," He said harshly. "I want to know right now and you're going to tell me."  
  
Buffy looked at him and said, slowly and clearly, "Spike, I spent all last night chasing you all over Sunnydale. I was chained up, threatened by your insane ex, then I had to help drag you home and chain you back up again, after which I had to play, "This Is Your Life' because you had to play the hero and lose your memory. Now I am very, very tired so I'm going to go and get some sleep. Because if I don't I will be very, very cranky and that will result in life becoming very, very unpleasant for you. Got it?"  
  
"Got it," Spike said, looking amused. "I be a good little vampire and you don't get rough with me, right?" Buffy glared at him as Spike continued to look amused. Then his amused look changed to one of confusion. "What did you say? About me being a hero? I don't do the hero thing, bad for my image. "  
  
"Your image was trashed a long time ago," Buffy said, cursing her slip. Her fatigue was starting to really get to her and she was saying things she didn't mean to say.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, worried about what she meant. Had he gone soft or even worse someone had found out what he was like before he was vamped.  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said. "Nothing that can't wait."  
  
"Patience has never been my strong point," Spike said. "So stop stalling and talk."  
  
"No," Buffy snapped. "This is nothing that can't wait."  
  
"It can't wait," Spike said. He had to know what was happening, what he had forgotten and most of all what was the noise he kept hearing. It was steady and he couldn't figure out what could be causing it. He met Buffy's eyes, waiting for her answers. She stared back, keeping his steady gaze.  
  
Spike and Buffy continued to glare at each other, neither one of them wanting to look away. Then suddenly Buffy felt something. It was so slight that she almost missed it but then she felt it. It was the baby. She was feeling the baby move. It was slight, almost unnoticeable. It was what her pregnancy books called 'quickening'. She looked at Spike for a moment. Then she burst into tears and ran from the room.  
  
Buffy ran down the hall to her mother's old room. Fortunately Angel and Cordelia, who were using this room right now, were downstairs. Buffy threw herself onto her bed and sobbed. She just lay there and cried, cried for her mother who couldn't be there to help her through this pregnancy, for Spike who couldn't share this moment with her, for everything that she had ever lost she cried for. She cried just for the sake of crying, until she was gasping for breath.  
  
She was still sobbing when she felt a pair of cool arms go around her and hold her. For a wild moment she thought that Spike had somehow regained his memory and had come to her. Then she looked up and saw that it was Angel's arms that were around her. "Are you okay?" He asked, a look of concern on his face.  
  
Buffy looked at him for a second, confused, and then she asked, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Connor wanted his blanket," Angel said, gesturing to the travel crib. "And I heard you crying. What's wrong?"  
  
Buffy let out a shuddering cry, "Spike."  
  
"What did he do to you?" Angel said, standing up and vamping out. "I'll kill him."  
  
"No," Buffy said, tiredly. "He didn't hurt me. It's just.."  
  
"Just what?" Angel asked. "What did he do?" Buffy didn't answer. She just looked away. Angel sat back down on the bed, his features going back to normal. His tone softened, "Buffy, why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you putting you and your child through this?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Look, you're not happy," Angel said. "Anyone can see that. Why are you doing something that makes you so unhappy? Why are you subjecting you and your child to this?"  
  
"If I'm unhappy it's because Spike, the father of my child, has forgotten the past five years. I just had to fill him in on some of the things he's been doing and it was a little hard, okay?"  
  
"Buffy, I just think that you should consider.."  
  
"What? Throwing him out? Forget it," Buffy snapped. "I won't do that to him." She looked at Angel. "He was tortured by a hell-god for me and Dawn. He almost died rather than give us up. I told him that I wouldn't forget that and I'm not going to now. I'm not throwing him out so stop saying I should."  
  
"I just think."  
  
"Well don't," Buffy ordered. "What are you doing here anyway? I brought you here to help Spike, not stick around and tell me how to run my life, okay. I don't tell you how to live your life, don't tell me how to live mine."  
  
"Buffy.." Angel said.  
  
"Just leave me alone," Buffy told him, starting to cry again. She lay back down, tears running down her face.  
  
"Angel, Connor's blanket was downstairs," Cordelia said, coming into the bedroom. She saw Buffy crying. Cordelia glared at Angel, pulled Buffy into her arms and said, accusingly, "What did you do to her?"  
  
"Nothing," Angel protested. "I'm just trying to help."  
  
"You're doing a great job," Cordelia said. She turned her attention to Buffy, "Is there anything I can get you? Anything you want?"  
  
Buffy pushed Cordelia away, "Just leave me alone, okay. All of you, can you give me some space?"  
  
"Sure," Angel said. "We just."  
  
"Want to help, I know," Buffy cried. "Well if you really want to help here what you can do. You can find Drusilla and those geeks and stop them before they can do anymore damage. Maybe you can help Spike get his memory back. That's something that can help."  
  
Angel tried to speak but Cordelia grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, leaving Buffy to lay back down on the bed and sob until she fell asleep.  
  
Cordelia didn't say anything until she and Angel were back downstairs. Then she turned on him, speaking softly so she wouldn't wake Connor who was napping on a blanket laid on the floor, "What happened up there?'  
  
"Nothing," Angel said. "I was just trying to help her."  
  
"Well you sure were doing a good job," Cordelia said sarcastically. "Now she's more upset than ever." She sighed, "Look, Buffy doesn't want our help right now."  
  
"But she needs it," Angel protested. "You saw her."  
  
"Yeah I did," Cordelia said. "And part of that is just a combination of being tired and hormones. The best thing we can do is just let her rest and figure out a way to stop Drusilla and those guys."  
  
"I can handle Dru," Angel said. "It's those guys I'm wondering about. They want something but what?'  
  
"They were guys I went to school with," Cordelia said, thoughtfully. She looked at Angel, grinned and said, "I feel a class reunion coming up."  
  
"No," Angel said. "You're not thinking."  
  
"Why not," Cordelia said. "I might be able to find something out from them. They don't know I work with you. They might want to do a little bragging."  
  
"They're working with Drusilla," Angel pointed out. "She might see you and warn them."  
  
"So you'll be in the background," Cordelia said. "If you see her then you can grab her. You might be able to find out something from her that can help Spike."  
  
"I don't think this is a good idea," Angel said.  
  
"Look, you stayed because you wanted to help Buffy. Well here's a way to help her. We can try to eliminate the threat to her and her baby plus we can get Spike's memory back."  
  
"It's too dangerous," Angel said.  
  
"Maybe you didn't understand me," Cordelia said. "I'm doing this with or without you so you can help me or not but either way it's going to happen."  
  
Angel sighed, "Fine, Buffy said that there are three guys plus the girlfriend of one of them. Who are you going to get in touch with?"  
  
"Jonathan," Cordelia said, promptly. "Warren's dating that midwife, Sarah, plus I heard a rumor about him building robot girlfriends and that's too creepy for me. And I don't think I ever met Andrew so Jonathan is the logical choice. Anyway I think he had a crush on me in high school."  
  
Angel rolled his eyes. "Just call him and let's get this over with." He headed for the door. The sun was still low enough for him to get around, "I'm going to see if Dru's still tied up and if she still is then she's going to give me some answers."  
  
"Fine," Cordelia said. "I'll track down Jonathan and set up a date for tonight."  
  
"Think public places," Angel warned.  
  
"No, I was thinking we'd go over to his place and hang out with his other crazy friends," Cordelia said sarcastically.  
  
"Cordelia," Angel warned.  
  
"We'll go to the Bronze," She promised. "Now go find Drusilla." She headed over to the phone while Angel headed out the door. 


	39. Deep Within My Mind, Who Knows What I Mi...

Chapter Thirty Nine: Deep Within My Mind, Who Knows What I Might Find  
  
"I don't like this," Angel said as he and Cordelia walked into the Bronze.  
  
"It'll work," She said.  
  
"Dru might be here," Angel pointed out. He'd gone to Spike's crypt and the only thing he'd found had been the ropes that had been use to tie Dru up. That meant Drusilla had managed to get free and she was out there somewhere.  
  
"Okay, there's Jonathan," Cordelia said, pointing to the bar. "Now stay out of sight and remember the plan."  
  
"Right," Angel said. "You get him out on the dance floor, I grab him and we bring him back to Buffy's and get him to tell us everything."  
  
"Right," Cordelia said. "He'll talk. He's not the smartest of the group. I found that out when I called him."  
  
"How'd you get ahold of him anyway?" Angel asked.  
  
"Called his mother," Cordelia said. "I called her and she gave me his cell phone number. I have to remind him to call and come home more often." Then she headed towards the bar.  
  
"Cordelia, hi," Jonathan stammered. "It's good to see you. You look great. I mean you always looked good but now you look.. Wow."  
  
"Thanks," Cordelia said. "You look good too." She ordered a drink and said," So how have you been? Doing anything interesting?"  
  
"The usual," Jonathan said.  
  
"Are you going college here in Sunnydale?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah," He said. "How about you?"  
  
"I'm working in L.A.," Cordelia explained. "For an investigation agency."  
  
"Sounds like fun," Jonathan said.  
  
"It is," Cordelia said. "I see a lot of interesting cases and work with a variety of people," And demons, she thought.  
  
"That's good," Jonathan said.  
  
Their drinks arrived, and he said, "It was nice to hear from you. I was ah a little surprised."  
  
Cordelia shrugged, "I was in town and decided to try and get in touch with people who I went to school with. There aren't too many in town anymore."  
  
"Buffy and her friends still are. You were friends with them," Jonathan pointed out.  
  
"I was," Cordelia said. "But I haven't spoken to them in a long time. We've just. grown apart. It happens. I moved and they're still the same as they were in high school, nothing's changed." She smiled, "But you've changed. I can tell."  
  
"Thanks," Jonathan grinned.  
  
Cordelia was getting tired of this game so she decided to end it quickly, "Let's dance," She suggested. He agreed and they went out onto the dance floor where they started slow dancing.  
  
Cordelia looked over Jonathan's shoulder and saw Angel walking towards them, "So," She said. "I hear you've been up to some interesting things."  
  
"Yeah," Jonathan said. "College has been really."  
  
"No," Cordelia said. "That's not what I mean and you know it."  
  
He looked confused for a minute and then said, "You know about us?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Cordelia said.  
  
"How?" He asked.  
  
"An old friend told us everything," Angel said grabbing Jonathan's arms. "Now, we're going to walk out of here slowly. You even think about trying to escape, well.." He turned Jonathan to face him and showed him his vampire face.  
  
"What are you gonna do to me?" Jonathan cried.  
  
"You're coming with us," Cordelia said. "And you're going to answer some questions."  
  
"And if I don't," Jonathan said, putting on a tough act.  
  
"You'll regret it," Angel said.  
  
Jonathan shook his head, "I have the protection of a master vampire. Drusilla won't let anyone hurt me."  
  
Angel looked amused, "How much do you know Dru?" Jonathan didn't say anything so Angel said, "You saw what she did to Spike, right?" Jonathan nodded. "Well when I turned Dru she was going to be a nun. She was everything that was pure and innocent. She never would have hurt anyone. I made her into what she is and everything she learned about torture and cruelty, I taught her and I didn't teach her everything I know. So just imagine what I could do to you." Jonathan had a vivid imagination and he could picture exactly what the vampire standing in front of him could do so he didn't protest when Angel and Cordelia dragged him out of the bar.  
  
**  
  
Buffy lay on her mother's bed, one hand on her stomach, hoping that she would feel the baby move again. She'd gotten some sleep but hadn't gone downstairs yet. She just wanted to be alone. Her wish was denied when was there was a knock at the door and Willow came in with a tray.  
  
"Hi," Willow said. "I brought you some dinner, chicken soup, my mom's cure for everything." She set the tray down on the nightstand and sat on the bed next to Buffy.  
  
Buffy moved the tray to the bed and tasted the soup, "This is good, thanks."  
  
"Well you know," Willow said. "Have to eat."  
  
Buffy nodded. She wasn't really hungry but she had to eat. "Where is everyone?"  
  
"Dawn's spending the night at Janice's. I promised I'd call her if anything changed with Spike and she promised that she wouldn't leave Janice's house. Xander and Anya promised to come over this evening. Tara and I are doing research into getting Spike's memory back and we're baby-sitting Connor."  
  
"Where are Angel and Cordelia?" Buffy asked.  
  
"They said something about going to the Bronze," Willow said. "I guess they needed a night out or something."  
  
Buffy nodded, "How's the research going? Have you found anything?"  
  
"Not yet," Willow admitted "But we're looking."  
  
"How's Spike?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He's sleeping," Willow told her. "We gave him some blood this afternoon. He didn't say much to me, though."  
  
"He's probably still in shock," Buffy said. "I had to tell him about Connor, Darla and that whole mess and about Drusilla breaking up with."  
  
"How'd he take it?" Willow asked.  
  
"Not very well," Buffy admitted. "Then I tried to make it easier by telling him that he got over it and accidentally almost told him about us."  
  
"But you didn't," Willow pointed out.  
  
"No," Buffy agreed. "But he almost found out about the baby too."  
  
"How?" Willow asked. "You didn't tell him so how could he find out?"  
  
"The baby's heartbeat. It's getting louder and when it was neither one of us was saying anything he heard it. He wondered what it was but I couldn't tell him."  
  
"He wouldn't have believed you anyway," Willow said.  
  
"No," Buffy agreed. "But if this goes on much longer, he's going to figure it out. Angel figured out that I'm pregnant right away and it won't take much time for Spike realize it too."  
  
"That's why we're going to find a way to get Spike's memory back," Willow said. "So he will remember everything."  
  
"I just want this to be over," Buffy said. "He can get his memory back and our lives can go back to normal." She paused, "Or whatever passes for normal around here."  
  
Suddenly they heard a loud noise coming from downstairs, "Was that the door?" Buffy said.  
  
"I don't know," Willow said. "I'll go check."  
  
"Whoever it is tell them to go away," Buffy told her. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now.  
  
Willow went downstairs and Buffy leaned back and continued to eat the soup that Willow had brought. She was just finishing it when she heard Willow call out, "Buffy, can you come down here? There's something here you have to see."  
  
Buffy sighed. She really didn't want to go downstairs but she might as well. She got up and walked down the stairs. She went into the living room and stopped short at the sight in front of her.  
  
Angel and Cordelia were holding Jonathan's arms to keep him from escaping. "Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday or whatever holiday you want," Cordelia said.  
  
"How? What?" Buffy stammered.  
  
"It was pretty easy," Cordelia said. "I just had to call his mother and she gave me his listed cell phone number."  
  
"These guys are supposed to be my arch-nemesis?" Buffy said to Willow. "I'm insulted." Willow nodded.  
  
"Slayer," Jonathan said, trying to sound menacing.  
  
Buffy studied him for a minute. Then she walked over to him and punched him so hard he flew across the room. "That," Buffy said. "Was for what you did to Spike." She walked over to him, pulled him to his feet and hit him again. "That, was for what you did to me and this.." She kneed him in the groin, punched him in the stomach and threw him across the room. "Was for what you tried to my baby." She turned to the stunned group of people in her living room. "Willow, can you and Tara put together that truth spell?" She smiled cruelly at Jonathan. "We're going to find out exactly what's going on here and our friend here might be able to tell us how to get Spike's memory back."  
  
"I'll never tell," Jonathan moaned from the floor.  
  
"I think you will," Buffy said. "And if the truth spell doesn't work then well there are other ways to make you crack."  
  
Jonathan blanched at this and didn't say a word as Tara cast the spell that would make him tell everything that they wanted to know.  
  
"Okay," Buffy said, circling him like a predator. "Now you're going to answer some questions for us."  
  
"Sure," Jonathan agreed. Under the influence of the spell he had no choice but to tell the truth.  
  
"First of all," Buffy said, staring at him. "You're going to tell me what you and your friends did to me, Spike and my baby."  
  
"Oh you mean the poison and herbs that you got," Jonathan said cheerfully. "Yeah the herbs Sarah gave you made you sick but she said you would just think that it was morning sickness. If you'd kept taking those herbs like you were supposed to then the build up of the herbs would have killed your baby."  
  
Willow grabbed Buffy to keep her from attacking Jonathan. Buffy knew that the herbs were supposed to make her lose her baby but hearing it from Jonathan's lips was almost too much. "Why would you want to do that?" Buffy asked, through clenched teeth.  
  
"We were bored," Jonathan said. His voice, still casual. " Then one night when we were figuring out how to liven things up around here, Drusilla showed up. She had a great plan and we got to help her in exchange for immortal life."  
  
"You mean she was going to turn you and your friends into vampires," Angel said.  
  
"Right," Jonathan agreed. "All we had to do was kill the Slayer, her baby and get Spike back for her."  
  
"And how were you supposed to do that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Well, we weren't too sure," Jonathan admitted. "But then Warren started dating Sarah and she mentioned that she was your midwife. It didn't take long for us to figure out a plan using Sarah's knowledge of herbs. She knew the right ones to make you lose your baby so that took care of that problem. It wouldn't be too hard to kill you and then we stumbled across this poison and the only way you could help him was this potion that would erase parts of his memory. Then once Drusilla had Spike and the Slayer and her baby were dead she'd turn all of us into vampires and we could complete our new goal.."  
  
"And what was that?" Buffy seethed. She was about to rethink her policy regarding the killing of humans. Every maternal instinct she possessed was kicking in. That this person could so casually talk about killing her baby was more than she could handle.  
  
"We're going to open the Hellmouth," Jonathan bragged. "Open it and then we'll rule over Sunnydale and eventually the world."  
  
"You're going to open the Hellmouth and rule the world," Buffy repeated. She stared at him for minute and then said, "Are you insane?"  
  
"No," Jonathan said. "We're perfectly sane."  
  
"You didn't need to answer that," Buffy snapped. "But do you have any idea what opening up the Hellmouth would mean? You idiots aren't capable of handling the power that you'd unleash. It'll destroy you and who knows who else."  
  
"We could handle it," Jonathan said. "We've already started recruiting demons and vampires for our army."  
  
Buffy looked at Willow, "How did we miss that?'  
  
"You weren't slaying," Jonathan said. "But Spike noticed. One of our minions heard him talking to Willy at the bar. He was asking if Willy if he knew anything about the increase in vampire and demon activity."  
  
"Spike didn't say anything," Buffy said.  
  
"He probably didn't want to worry you," Willow said. "Not until he knew something certain."  
  
"Well when he gets his mind back," Buffy said. "I can tell him he was right to wonder." She studied Jonathan and asked him. "So how do we do that? How do we get Spike's memory back? 


	40. The Answer Is Staring Us In The Face

Chapter Forty: The Answer is Staring Us In The Face  
  
"I don't know," Jonathan said in response to Buffy's question about how to get Spike's memory back. "We didn't research that. I don't even know if there's a way to get it back."  
  
"Why didn't you?" Buffy asked, through gritted teeth. Her patience with Jonathan was rapidly dwindling.  
  
"We did all this so that he would lose his memory. Why would we want to help him get it back," Jonathan said.  
  
"There's no way that you know of to help him?" Angel asked, suspiciously. He knew that Jonathan couldn't be lying because of the truth spell but he wondered if he was telling the whole truth.  
  
"No," Jonathan repeated. "So can I go now?"  
  
Buffy studied him for a minute and then said, "No, you're not going any where, not yet anyway." She looked at Angel, "There's some rope and chains in the basement. Take him down there and tie him up." She noticed Jonathan's panicked look, "Relax, we're not going to hurt you. You're just going to stay in the basement for a little while and if you think you can remember what it is that will bring Spike's memory back then let me know." She turned to Willow and said, "I'm going to check on Spike. Let me know if he says anything." Then she walked upstairs, leaving Angel, Willow and Cordelia to deal with Jonathan.  
  
Buffy opened her bedroom door and went inside. Spike was sleeping and he didn't appear to wake up when she entered the room. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, glancing at the handcuffs that were securing him to her bed. It didn't look very comfortable to her but she knew that Spike could handle it and it was for his own good. If she took the cuffs off then he would run off again and she didn't want to have to chase him all over Sunnydale.  
  
Buffy studied Spike critically. He appeared to have healed completely form Drusilla's torture. His bones had mended and the cuts, bruises and burns had healed. The only thing that hadn't healed were his memories and that was one thing she didn't know how to get back for him. She had to get them back, though, for everyone's sakes, his, hers, Dawns and the baby's.  
  
She reached down and touched her stomach, hoping that the baby would stir again. She hadn't felt anything since that one time and she kept hoping that she would feel the baby move again. It was a reassuring sensation that her baby was alive and hadn't been affected by the herbs that she had been given. The doctor had assured her that the herbs only made her sick and that she had stopped taking them in time to prevent any damage to her or the baby. "We're okay baby," She said, looking down at her stomach. "You and Mommy are okay. Now we just have to figure out a way to help your Daddy. Any ideas?"  
  
"I don't think you're going to get an answer," Said a voice from the doorway. Buffy turned around and saw Angel standing in the doorway. "Unless your child's telepathic."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "I don't so. At least I hope not. It's going to be hard enough raising a combination of me and Spike. I don't need to be worried about whether or not he knows everything I'm thinking."  
  
"That's going to be interesting," Angel said. "I hope that your child has more of you than of Spike, though."  
  
Buffy studied him for a second and then said, "Hopefully this baby will inherit the best of both of us. That's all I can ask for."  
  
"Both of you deserve better, you and your child," Angel said, looking at his sleeping childe/grandchilde. "You both deserve a lot better than Spike."  
  
Buffy didn't answer him. They had had this conversation before and she didn't want to have it again because it would get no where.  
  
"Do you want me to stay with him?" Angel asked. "Let you get some sleep."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "I'm not tired and he really doesn't need watching. He's completely recovered and he's not going anywhere." She looked around. "There's just no place where I can really be alone either." She was telling the truth. The house was full. Right now there were so many people staying in the house that there weren't enough places to put them all and absolutely no privacy. If she wanted to be alone she had to either lock herself in the bathroom or hang out with Spike and that one was even a risk because Dawn spent most of her time with Spike.  
  
"If you want us to, Cordelia, Connor and I can leave," Angel said. Even though he didn't want to leave her while things were so unsettled.  
  
"No," Buffy said, shaking her head. "You guys are welcome to stay." But after Spike was back to normal there were going to have to be some changes. One of the three bedrooms was going to have to be changed into a nursery which meant that the sleeping arrangements were going to have to change.  
  
Angel nodded, "Good, I wouldn't feel right leaving until I know that you're going to be alright."  
  
"Once Spike's himself again then I will be," Buffy said. "I just wish I knew how to do that."  
  
"I wish I could help," Angel said. "I called Wesley and he doesn't know what to do either. He and Fred are trying some memory spells but it doesn't sound like any of them will work."  
  
Buffy nodded, "Willow and Tara are checked all the regular memory spells but the ones they found are for total memory loss or memory loss that was caused by an injury. Spike's memory loss was caused by poison and he's only forgotten the past five years."  
  
"Leave it to Spike to make things difficult," Angel said. "He was always good at that."  
  
Buffy nodded, "I won't argue with that but he has come a long way since you knew him. I've noticed it now more than ever. Seeing how it used to be and how it is now.. There's a difference. I don't know if it's the chip or what but Spike isn't the same vampire he was when he first came to Sunnydale. He's different from who used to be." She sighed, blinking back tears, "I miss that Spike. I didn't realize how much until he woke up and thought that it was five years ago."  
  
"He must have changed," Angel agreed. "Enough for you to." He didn't want to think about Spike and Buffy together. The thought still turned his stomach. "I guess he isn't the same vampire anymore."  
  
"He isn't," Buffy assured him. "Now we just need to get the changed Spike back."  
  
"We'll figure out a way," Angel said. He hated seeing Buffy with Spike but he hated seeing her like this even more. "I promise." He sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. "We'll get him back."  
  
"Buffy, I brought Spike some blood. oh," Willow said, walking into Buffy's room and stopped short at the sight of Buffy in Angel's arms. "Sorry."  
  
"It's okay," Buffy said, pulling away from Angel and wiping her eyes. She nodded at the mug in Willow's hand. "Blood?"  
  
"Yeah," Willow said. "I thought that he might be hungry."  
  
"Leave it," Buffy said. "He'll want it when he wakes up." She stood up and walked over to the window. It was almost daylight, "I better shut these curtains." She looked at Angel and Willow, "Who opened them anyway?"  
  
"What did you say?" Willow asked, looking startled.  
  
"I wondered who opened the curtains," Buffy said. "If they're open then Spike gets turned into a pile of dust."  
  
"Curtains." Willow said, staring off into space. Then her face lit up, "That's it! Buffy, you're a genius."  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I can't believe I didn't think of this before. It was right in front of me."  
  
"What is?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
Willow didn't answer. She just turned and ran downstairs. Buffy only had time enough to wonder what was going on before Willow was back, accompanied by Tara who was holding a large spell book.  
  
"What is going on?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I found it," Willow said, excitedly.  
  
"Found what?" Buffy said, impatiently.  
  
"The spell," Willow said. "To bring Spike's memory back." 


	41. Drew Back The Curtains

Chapter Forty-One: Drew Back The Curtain  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. "You know how to get Spike's memory back?"  
  
Willow nodded, excitedly, "I can't believe I didn't figure it out before. It was right in front of me the whole time. That's probably why I didn't find it right away.  
  
"So can you do it?" Buffy wondered.  
  
"I can," Tara said. "All the ingredients for the spell are here."  
  
Willow held up a book, "It's all in here. This book is one of the easiest spell books around. That's why we didn't find it right away. The potion Drusilla gave him is really old and complex but the counterspell is so simple that it's usually overlooked."  
  
"What kind of spell is it?" Angel asked. "How does it work?"  
  
Willow pointed to Buffy's curtains, "That's what made me remember. Spike's memories are being hid by the equivalent of a mind curtain. This curtain is blocking his memories. All we have to do is cast the spell that will open it."  
  
"That's it?" Buffy said. "But that's so easy. Why didn't anyone think of it before?"  
  
"Because it was too easy," Tara explained.  
  
"So how long will this take?" Angel asked.  
  
Willow looked at Buffy's bedside clock, "If everything goes okay then Spike should have his memory back by the time Dawn gets home from Janice's."  
  
"Then let's get to work," Buffy said.  
  
They all went downstairs. Buffy sat down at the kitchen island with a bowl of cereal while Tara began to cast the spell that would return Spike to them.  
  
"I hope this works," Buffy said quietly to Angel.  
  
"It will," Angel assured her. He was pretty sure that the spell would work. Both Willow and Tara were pretty powerful witches. If they thought that this spell would bring Spike's memory back then it would. He almost regretted it. He hated seeing Buffy so upset but he had enjoyed spending time with her. And when Spike regained his memory then he would take his regular place in Buffy's life. Angel knew that was the way it had to be. He had his own life in L.A. and Buffy had hers in Sunnydale. That was the choice they both had made. He finished his blood and asked, "Is there anything I can do?'  
  
"No," Tara said, bringing the potion to a boil. "I'm almost done. Once this is finished, all we have to do is cast the spell and Spike should be back to his old self."  
  
"You mean you found a way to help Spike?" Xander asked, as he and Anya walked through the door. "You're going to have to let him lose again?"  
  
"Xander," Buffy warned.  
  
"We thought we'd stop by on our way to work," Anya explained. "See if there's anything you need. At least that's what Xander said. I thought that we should stay home and have sex one more time this morning but Xander insisted we stop by."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said. "But we're fine. We found the spell to bring Spike's memory back. We just have to perform it and he'll be back to normal."  
  
"The spell's ready," Tara said.  
  
"Well," Buffy said, suddenly nervous. "Let's see if this works."  
  
Tara carefully carried the potion upstairs, followed by everyone else. As soon as they were in Buffy's room, Tara said, "You need to undo the handcuffs."  
  
Buffy quickly picked the lock and removed the handcuffs. "Okay, what next?"  
  
"Everyone stand back," Tara said. She took the potion and poured it around Spike, tracing an outline of his body. Then she began to chant a spell. As her chanting reached its peak a noise like thunder sounded and the room was briefly filled with a green light. Then as abruptly as it had come the noise and light were gone.  
  
Tara collapsed and Willow hurried to her side and gathered her up in her arms, "Tara, baby are you okay?" Tara gasped and nodded that she was fine.  
  
While Willow was attending to Tara Buffy was attending Spike. She shook him, trying to wake him up, "Spike, wake up!" When he didn't answer she reached out and slapped him. "Wake up!"  
  
Spike groaned and said, "Bloody hell." He opened his eyes and said, "There are better ways to wake me up, luv."  
  
Buffy restrained herself. She had to be sure that this was her Spike. "Spike, when was the first time we really kissed? Not counting Willow's spell."  
  
"Huh?" Spike asked, confused.  
  
"Just answer the question," Buffy demanded.  
  
"It was when you were pretending to be the bot," Spike said. "Did a pretty good job too." He sat up and moaned, "Ow my head, bloody hell. What happened?"  
  
Buffy glanced at Tara, "He'll remember everything," Tara assured her. "Just give him a few minutes."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said, slowly. "What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
Spike thought for a second. Then his eyes widened. Everything that had happened since Dru had forced that foul tasting poison into him came flooding back. How he had treated Buffy, returning to Drusilla, tying Buffy up in the crypt again, everything. He abruptly stood up, brushed past everyone and stormed out.  
  
"Spike.." Buffy called. She started to go after him but Angel grabbed her arm.  
  
"Give him a minute. He's been through a lot," Angel said.  
  
"But.." Buffy protested.  
  
"He'll be okay," Angel says. "He just needs to process everything."  
  
Buffy nodded. Then she pulled away from Angel and headed down the stairs. She didn't care what Angel said. She had to find out what was going on in the mess that was Spike's head. She found him in the kitchen. "Spike, are you okay?" She asked.  
  
"What happened?" He asked.  
  
"What do you remember?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Everything," He said. He turned to face her, "It's like some bloody awful dream, though. I remember it but it doesn't seem real."  
  
"Oh it was real alright," Buffy said. "The whole thing was real."  
  
"I remember every bloody detail," He said. He shook his head, "I wish I didn't."  
  
"Be glad you do, I'm not up for another round of 'This Is Your Life" Buffy said. "And believe me, it's been miserable around here with you not remembering."  
  
Spike managed a grin, "Miss me luv?"  
  
Buffy didn't answer for a minute, then she said, "Yes, a little bit, but don't let it go to your head."  
  
"Must have been boring around here," Spike commented.  
  
"Oh we had some excitement around here," Buffy said. "Drusilla's still out there and Jonathan's tied up in the basement."  
  
"You caught one of those guys," Spike said. "Good job."  
  
"Actually Angel and Cordelia caught him."  
  
Spike groaned, "Peaches is here. Of all things why did I have to remember that?"  
  
"Don't complain," Buffy said. "He saved your life."  
  
"What?" Spike asked. "Thought he'd have already staked me, especially when he realized.." He didn't finished. He just stared at her stomach. He reached over and held his hand just over her stomach, "He's grown a little." He raised his eyes to meet Buffy's, "Are you okay? Those teas that Sarah was giving you.."  
  
"Everything's fine," Buffy assured him. "I talked to a doctor and he told me that I stopped taking the herbs in time to prevent any damage."  
  
"Good," Spike said. "So everything's fine?"  
  
"Everything's fine," Buff repeated. I'm fine and so is the baby. In fact," She took Spike's hand and held it to her stomach. "I even felt the baby move."  
  
Spike stared at her stomach, and said, "Will he do it again?"  
  
"Might," Buffy said. "But you won't be able to feel it. The baby's too little for anyone but me to feel him move."  
  
Spike nodded and headed towards the door, "Spike," Buffy called. She didn't want him to leave.  
  
He turned to face her and said, "I'll be back. I just need to clear my head a little."  
  
"Then wait until tonight," Buffy asked. "It's day out. Plus Dawn's going to be home soon. She'll want to see you."  
  
"Where is the Bit?" Spike asked.  
  
"She spent the night at a friend's," Buffy explained.  
  
"You let her do that?" Spike asked. "With Dru out there?"  
  
"I made her promise to stay in the house and to call if there was a problem. I haven't heard anything so everything must be fine."  
  
"How's she doing?" Spike asked. "Through this whole thing."  
  
"She's been really worried about you," Buffy said. "I don't know if you remember this but she saved your life." Spike looked confused so Buffy explained, "After Drusilla poisoned you and left you, Dawn dragged you back here."  
  
"I don't remember that. I just remember when Dru poisoned me and then waking up and thinking it was five years ago."  
  
Buffy didn't say anything. She wondered if she should tell Spike what had happened during that time but before she should answer both she and Spike heard the door open and Dawn call out, "I'm home."  
  
Buffy motioned for Spike to stay in the kitchen and she went into the living room.  
  
"Hi," Dawn said.  
  
"Hi," Buffy said. "How was your sleep over? Any problems?"  
  
"No," Dawn said. "No sign of vampires or demons." She grabbed her overnight bag and started to go upstairs.  
  
"Dawn, wait," Buffy said.  
  
"What?" Dawn asked, annoyed. "I want to go and check on Spike. See how he's doing. How is he?"  
  
"He's fine," Buffy said. "But he's not upstairs."  
  
Dawn dropped her bag and turned back to Buffy, "Where is he? Did he escape again."  
  
"No." Buffy started to say.  
  
"Then where is he?" Dawn asked, starting to get alarmed. "You didn't chain him up in the basement, did you?"  
  
"No," Buffy said. "He's."  
  
"Right here, Bit," Spike said, coming into the living room.  
  
"Spike?" Dawn said, slowly.  
  
"That's right," Spike said, with a grin. "I'm back."  
  
Dawn stared at him for a minute, then she dropped her bag, burst into tears and ran into Spike's arms. Spike held her while she sobbed, "I thought you were really gone, that you were never going to come back to us."  
  
"Well I'm back, Nibblet," Spike said. "Takes more than a little mojo to keep me down." 


	42. Together Again

Don't worry! My story is far from over! Thank you for all your kind words. It's what keeps me writing!  
  
Chapter Forty-Two: Together Again  
  
Dawn stepped away from Spike, looked at him for minute and then reached out and slapped him, hard, across the face.  
  
"Ow," Spike said. "Bloody hell, bit, what was that for?"  
  
Dawn stared at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, "Don't you ever do that again! I thought you were going to die and leave us all."  
  
"Hey," Spike said, pulling Dawn back into his arms. "Listen to me. I'm not going anywhere." He stepped back and looked at her, "I will never leave you," He raised his eyes to meet Buffy's, "Or your sister."  
  
"Promise?" Dawn's voice and Buffy's eyes asked.  
  
"I promise," Spike said.  
  
"Good," Dawn said. She looked at Buffy, "How did you get his memory back?"  
  
"A spell," Buffy told her. "Willow found the spell that was needed and Tara cast it."  
  
"So everything's okay?" Dawn asked. "Right?"  
  
"Almost," Buffy said, thinking of Jonathan down in the basement and Drusilla still running free with the remaining members of the Nerd trio. She looked at Spike, "Your insane ex has been busy."  
  
"I know," Spike said. "She filled me in on her plan while we were down in my crypt."  
  
"Everything?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike nodded, "Her plans to vamp those idiots, get me to leave town with her while her new childes opened the Hellmouth, yeah she filled me in."  
  
"She must have missed the part about her new vampires wanting to take over the world too."  
  
"What?" Spike laughed. "Those idiots want to take over the world? That I'd like to see."  
  
"No you don't," Buffy said. "Because if they do."  
  
"I know," Spike said, knowing that any attempt to open the Hellmouth and take over the world that was made by those idiots would bring disaster on all of them. "So how do we stop them?"  
  
"I haven't figured that out yet," Buffy admitted. "But we could start by asking our friend in the basement."  
  
"You have friends in the basement now," Spike said, his face lighting up. "Like on 'Passions?"  
  
"No," Buffy said, exasperated. "I mean, Jonathan. He's still tied up down there, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Spike said, sounding disappointed. He had been hoping that evil spirits had taken up residence in the basement. "So what are we going to do with him?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I think we might have gotten all the information we're going to get out of him but if we turn him lose then they're going to figure out that we're on to them."  
  
"How about a memory spell," Spike suggested. "There's been enough mojo going around here, a little more won't hurt."  
  
"That might work." Buffy said. "If we can convince Tara to do the spell."  
  
"Would she?" Spike asked. He knew how Tara felt about spells involving people's minds. He wasn't sure that she would agree to modify Jonathan's memory.  
  
"It wouldn't hurt to ask," Buffy said. But just in case. "Could you hypnotize him? I know Drusilla was able to do that. Hypnotize him so that he can't remember anything."  
  
Spike shook his head, "Sorry, luv, messing with people's minds was more Dru and Angel's style. I preferred a straight out fight."  
  
"How about we send him back as he is," Dawn suggested.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. "And let him tell them that we know everything?"  
  
"Sure," Dawn said. "What are they going to do? If they know that we know then it might force them out into the open, they might make their move."  
  
"Wouldn't work," Spike said. "They can only open the Hellmouth when the stars are in the right position and that's not for a few more months."  
  
"How do you know this?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Dru told me the whole plan," Spike reminded her.  
  
"So how long do we have?" Buffy asked.  
  
"About four months," Spike said. "Have to check the star charts to find the exact date."  
  
Buffy stared at him, "So you're saying that we're going to have to face the Hellmouth being open and possibly fight a demon battle around my due date?"  
  
"Unless we can stop them," Dawn said. "If we stop them before they can open the Hellmouth then we don't have to worry."  
  
"Great, we just have to stop an insane vampire, three nerds and an army of demons, and we have to do it all before they get a chance to open the Hellmouth," Buffy said.  
  
"It can be done," Dawn said. "If we can get rid of Drusilla and the Nerd trio then the demon army will scatter. Problem solved."  
  
"She has a point," Spike said.  
  
"So you'd agree to a plan that will involve the staking of your insane ex?" Buffy asked.  
  
"We don't have to stake Dru," Spike said. "Just run her out of town."  
  
"We have to stake her," Buffy insisted. "If we don't she'll come back and who knows what she'll do. What if she decides to go after our baby? You know she will."  
  
Spike didn't argue with her. If Drusilla got anywhere near Buffy or the baby she'd kill them both. Dru had always had a taste for both pregnant women and then babies too. "She will," Spike agreed. "Babies and pregnant women are a delicacy for her."  
  
"So we go after Drusilla and those guys before they can open the Hellmouth," Buffy said. "And we don't stop until Drusilla's staked and those guys are behind bars."  
  
"Sounds good," Spike said. "Things have been a little dull around here. A good spot of violence is just what we need." He looked at Buffy, seriously, "But you're staying out of it."  
  
Buffy started to argue but then realized that this was one of the few times he was right. She hadn't patrolled in months and she hadn't trained for awhile either. She wasn't in the shape that was needed for a fight with an insane vampire. "Fine, but we have to stop them soon, before their demons army can get too big," And, she thought, so we don't have deal with the Hellmouth opening when the baby's due. Buffy also noticed that Spike hadn't exactly agreed to the staking of Drusilla but he hadn't completely rejected that it had to be done.  
  
"We will," Spike said. "But before that, we can keep ourselves..occupied." He ignored Dawn's presence in the room and walked over and pulled her into his arms and into a sizzling kiss.  
  
"Spike," Buffy gasped, trying to pull away.  
  
"Don't tell me you didn't miss this," Spike said, kissing her again. He lowered his voice and looked into her eyes, "How about we kick your mates out of your room and use it for its original purpose?"  
  
"Spike," Buffy protested.  
  
"Don't tell me you don't want to," Spike said, grinning at her.  
  
Buffy cursed her hormones. He was right, that was exactly what her body wanted. "I think I liked you better when you were unconscious." Spike looked at her, not believing her. Buffy cast a quick glance at Dawn, who was taking an interest in their conversation and then upstairs, "We have a house full of people, including Angel who will stake you if he."  
  
"Fine," Spike said, grabbing his blanket with one hand and Buffy with the other. "We'll go some place more private." He opened the door, and pulled Buffy out the door, "Cover for us, will you Niblet?" He called, before closing the door behind them 


	43. Longing To Tell You But Afraid And Shy

Chapter Forty-Three: Longing To Tell You But Afraid And Shy  
  
"I can't believe we just did that," Buff said, rolling over on her side.  
  
"What?" Spike said, curling up beside her and pulling her into his arms. "I thought you'd like to try something new." He kissed her temple, and whispered in her ear, "I know I liked it."  
  
Buffy blushed, not looking at him. She hated to admit it but she had liked it too. She started to sit up but Spike pulled her back down on the bed, "What's your hurry?"  
  
"W need to get back," Buffy said. "Everyone's probably wondering where I am."  
  
"Let them wonder," Spike said, kissing down Buffy's neck. "You need to relax, take your mind off of your worries."  
  
"Stop that," Buffy said, trying to resist. "We need to get back before they send a search party."  
  
"Dawn will tell them that you're with me," Spike told her. "And if they don't like it.." He made a dismissive gesture, indicating what her friends could do.  
  
"Spike, we have to get back," Buffy said. "Remember, Jonathan in the basement, Warren, Andrew and Drusilla still out there. Hellmouth opening, world in danger any of that ring a bell? Or did everything that happened to you cause more damage than we though?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "I'm fine but you," He leaned over and kissed her, "Need to relax. A little down time isn't going to hurt anything."  
  
"Spike, there are people who are waiting for me. I have to get back."  
  
"You mean Angel," Spike said. Buffy didn't say anything. She just looked away, "Don't worry about Peaches," Spike told her. "I think he's got enough to distract him right now."  
  
"You mean Connor?" Buffy said.  
  
"No," Spike said. "I mean the cheerleader."  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked.  
  
"The brunette," Spike explained. "You didn't notice the looks those two were giving each other? Even I noticed and I didn't know where I was half the time."  
  
"Angel and Cordelia?" Buffy said, in disbelief, "How much of that poison did Dru give you?"  
  
"Deny it all you want," Spike said. "Just look at those two and you'll see what I mean."  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. "We'll go back and I can prove you wrong."  
  
"We're not going anywhere," Spike said. He looked at her curiously, "What's going on? Why are you so desperate to get back?"  
  
"Because," Buffy said, getting out of bed and pulling her clothes on. "There's so much going on that I need to get back."  
  
"No," Spike said, sitting up. "That's not why. It's because Angel's back at the house, isn't it." Buffy didn't answer. She just looked away. Spike made an irritated sound, "He's knows what's going on between us. He'd have to be blind not to."  
  
"Well I'm not going to rub it in his face," Buffy snapped.  
  
"Why not?" Spike said. "He always did that to others."  
  
"I'm not going to do that to him," Buffy said, not looking at him as she got dressed.  
  
Spike studied her, awareness hitting him, "You're still ashamed, aren't you." Buffy didn't answer. "I don't believe this," He said angrily. "After all this, you still can't accept what we have."  
  
"We have nothing," Buffy snapped. "We have a baby, that's it."  
  
"Then why did you save my unlife?" Spike asked. "And bring my memory back?"  
  
"Because I didn't want our baby growing up without a father and I wasn't going to take you away from Dawn. They both need you. I don't," Buffy lied. She was not going to tell Spike exactly what he meant to her and how happy and relieved she was that he was going to be alright.  
  
Spike hid his hurt and said, "Yes, you do, probably more than you realize. Otherwise you would have let me burn to death."  
  
"I told you," Buffy said, keeping her back to him so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes "I kept you alive for Dawn and our baby. I don't want our baby growing up without a father. It didn't anything to do with what's going on between us."  
  
"Fine," Spike said, standing up on pulling on his pants. "If that's what you say."  
  
He was angry. Buffy knew that but she couldn't quite bring her self to tell him what he meant to her and all that she had realized while he had been out of it. She watched him pull on his shirt and start to climb the ladder to the upper levels of the crypt. "Where are you going?" She called.  
  
Spike looked at her, "I'm taking you home, since you want to go so badly." Then he climbed the rest of the way out of the crypt.  
  
Buffy stared after him for minute, stunned. Then she finished getting dressed and climbed awkwardly up the ladder, momentarily thinking that she wasn't going to be able to climb the ladder again until after the baby was born. She climbed up to the upper level of the crypt where Spike was waiting.  
  
They walked back to the house in silence. When they walked the house was dark and silent. It was late and everyone had gone either to bed or to their own homes. Buffy didn't say anything. She just walked up the stairs, without looking at him. Spike started to follow her but then changed direction and head into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and pulled out a bag of blood. He heated it and poured it into a mug.  
  
He was looking out the window while he drank his blood. Then he heard a sound he hadn't noticed before. He turned in the direction of it and saw what had made the sound. On the counter was some of carrier and in it was a baby. A baby that looked so much like his sires that it had to be Connor.  
  
Spike saw the baby studying him. The baby looked at him for minute and then look out a cry. Spike just stared at the baby, unsure of what to do. He looked around and saw that Angel was no where in sight. He tried to remember everything from when Charles and Charlotte where babies. His vampire sense of smell told him that the baby didn't need changing and Spike had no idea how to feed him. The only other thing he could think was that Connor was just bored. So Spike unstrapped him and picked him up.  
  
Picking him up had no effect, the baby continued to cry. "Come on," Spike said, bouncing the baby. "Be quiet." He let out a cry of exasperation, "Bloody hell, shut up. Are you going to be as annoying as both your parents?" Connor's cries didn't let up, "Okay," Spike said, trying to think of ways he'd helped quiet his brother and sister. "You want to hear a song, that always worked with the twins." He shifted the baby in his arms and began to sing, "I want to be sedated." It didn't help. If anything Connor's cries increased, "Fine," Spike said. "Remind me to have a little talk with your father about the kind of music he's exposing you to. That vampire has no taste. Don't want that rubbing off on you." He bounced the baby, trying to calm him. "Listen here you," Spike said. "This is the only way I know to shut you up so if this doesn't work then you're on your own." He cradled Connor in his arms and began to hum an English lullaby that he remembered from his own childhood and that she had sung to Charles and Charlotte too. It had always worked to calm them and it was having the same effect on Connor. "Well what do you know," Spike said. "It worked." He continued to rock the baby. Connor wasn't falling asleep but he was calming down.  
  
Suddenly a voice from the kitchen doorways said, "Get the hell away from my son." 


	44. A Little Chat, A Little Idle Talk of Thi...

Chapter Forty-Four: A Little Chat, A Little Idle Talk of This and That  
  
Spike turned in the direction of the doorway, with Connor in his arms, "Angel," He said.  
  
Angel hurried forward and pulled Connor out of Spike's arms and into his own. Angel quickly scanned the baby for any signs that he had been hurt, "Oh come on," Spike said, irritated at the implication. "Why would I hurt him? First of all I can't hurt a human, even if I wanted to. Second of all why would I want to hurt little Connor here? He's blood. Besides, if I did anything to hurt the little nipper here the lot of you would make me fit in an ash tray."  
  
"Right," Angel said. "I'll do it anyway if you lay another finger on my son."  
  
"Lighten up, Peaches," Spike said. "What are you so worried about?"  
  
"You and I both know what you're capable of," Angel said.  
  
"The same could be said for you," Spike said. "Remember, you taught me everything I know."  
  
"You picked up a few things by yourself," Angel said. "And I'm not putting my son at risk."  
  
Spike stared at Angel, incredulously, "What was I doing that was so bloody terrible? I was singing him a lullaby. I fail to find the evil in that."  
  
"There are a lot of people who would pay good money for my son. What's to stop you from kidnapping him and selling him to the highest bidder?"  
  
Spike stared at him, hurt, "You think I'd to that? That kid's blood and I don't sell out blood, unlike others I know."  
  
"I don't care," Angel said. "Stay away from my son. I won't want you anywhere near him."  
  
"So then why don't you leave?" Spike said. "If you don't want me near your kid then leave and take him with you."  
  
"I'd love to," Angel snapped. "But I'm not leaving Buffy, not until I know that she's going to be alright, her and her child."  
  
Spike fought to keep from vamping out, "She's fine," He said, with barely controlled anger. "She and our child will both be fine."  
  
Angel looked at Spike in disgust, "I hope you understand what you've done. How you've ruined Buffy's life."  
  
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Spike asked.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about," Angel said. "First you stalk her, then you trick her into sleeping with you."  
  
"She made the first move," Spike pointed out.  
  
Angel continued as if he hadn't heard, "Then you trap her in a relationship that gives her nothing but pain and make it worse by getting her pregnant."  
  
"Actually that was Glinda's fault," Spike said.  
  
"Now you're forcing yourself into her life and are ruining any chance she has at any kind of normal life."  
  
"Buffy doesn't go for the normal life," Spike said. "She tried that route with Captain Cardboard but you and I know what she really likes. Well I do, you really didn't have a chance to realize what it is, with you it was over so fast."  
  
Only Connor prevented Angel from attacking Spike, "Damn you, Spike, I'm not going to let you ruin her life. She deserves to be happy."  
  
"For once we agree," Spike said. "And I can make her happy."  
  
"No," Angel argued. "You can't. Buffy and her child deserve to have a normal life with a normal man."  
  
"I am not abandoning my child," Spike said, coldly. "And don't even suggest that."  
  
"I'm just saying.." Angel started.  
  
"No," Spike said. "Would you abandon Connor? Would you have walked away from him?" Angel didn't answer. He just looked down at the baby in his arms. "I didn't think so." Spike grabbed his abandoned mug from the counter, "Did it ever occur to you that she might need me?"  
  
"She doesn't know what she wants," Angel snapped. "She's been through hell and she's vulnerable."  
  
"And I'm the one she turned to," Spike snapped. "The one who didn't demand anything of her when she came back."  
  
"Except her," Angel said. "You just wanted Buffy. How long did you wait until after she was back before you threw her into your bed?"  
  
"Like I said," Spike said, growing tired of this conversation. "She made the first move and before that I waited the best I could. I listened to her and was there for her when she needed me to be. Which is more than I could say for you."  
  
"I saw her after she came back," Angel told him.  
  
"Yeah and you didn't notice that she was drowning?" Spike asked. "I saw it right away and I'm not her supposed bloody soulmate."  
  
"I saw that she was upset but I knew she'd been through a lot and I didn't want to pry." Angel defended himself. "I respect her unlike you."  
  
Spike started toward Angel, Connor or no Connor, he'd had enough of Angel. Spike was just about to yank the baby out of Angel's arms so that he could beat Angel to a pulp when a voice stopped him.  
  
"Knock it off, both of you, you're going to upset Connor," Cordelia said, coming into the kitchen. She took Connor out of Angel's arms and told them both, "Okay, now the two of you can kill each other if you want but keep it down. I could hear the two of you all the way upstairs."  
  
"Did we wake anyone up?" Spike asked, thinking of Buffy and Dawn.  
  
"No," Cordelia said, looking annoyed at both of them. "I checked. Buffy was sleeping soundly and so was Dawn. You just woke me up." She headed upstairs, Connor in her arms, "I'm going back upstairs. Come on Connor, let's give your Daddy and Spike room to fight it out. You're coming with me," She looked over at them, "Let's hope they didn't influence you too much." Then she left with Connor.  
  
Spike and Angel stared at each other and Spike finally said, "Back off, she doesn't need the pressure from you. You have your family with little Peaches and the Cheerleader. Let Buffy have hers with me, the Nibblet and the little bit."  
  
"She deserves better than you, all of them."  
  
"And your kid deserves better than you," Spike said.  
  
"I agree," Angel said. "He does but he's mine and I love him."  
  
"That's how I feel about my child," Spike said. "And Buffy and Dawn."  
  
"If you hurt any of them." Angel said.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I get turned into a dust pile. I've heard it all before."  
  
"I mean it," Angel said.  
  
"Fine," Spike said. He leaned against the counter and said, "So how are things in L.A.?" 


	45. To See For Certain What I Thought I Knew

Chapter Forty-Five: To See For Certain What I thought I Knew  
  
This chapter wasn't supposed to be this long but I decided to give my readers a reward for all their nice reviews so I decided to combine two chapters into one. Happy Reading!  
  
"Morning," Buffy said, coming into the kitchen. Cordelia, Connor and Dawn were all sitting at the island with plates of waffles and bacon in front of them.  
  
"Hi," Cordelia said.  
  
Buffy sat down next to them and helped herself to some breakfast. She looked around and noticed two missing vampires, "Where are Angel and Spike? They didn't stake each other, did they?"  
  
"Surprisingly no," Cordelia said. "They were down here, fighting last night but no damage done. Angel's sleeping upstairs and Spike came downstairs and took some breakfast down to the basement."  
  
"He's eating in the basement?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
"I don't think so," Dawn said. "He took some blood down with him so I don't think he wanted waffles."  
  
"Wait a minute," Buffy said, alarmed. "Jonathan's still down there."  
  
"I haven't heard any screams," Cordelia assured her. "I think he's still alive."  
  
Buffy sighed, annoyed at Spike. If he scared Jonathan too badly then he'd be no use to them at all. She quickly finished her waffles and went downstairs. Jonathan was tied to a beam in the basement. He was surrounded by bits of waffle, syrup and bacon. Spike was sitting across from him, holding a plate of syrupy waffles and bacon. He was eyeing Jonathan like a bug trapped in a jar and was tossing food at him, just out of Jonathan's reach.  
  
"Having fun?" Buffy asked, looking at the two of them.  
  
"It's feeding time at the zoo," Spike explained. He threw the rest of the food at Jonathan, again just out of reach. Then he stood up and walked over to Buffy. "Dru and I once went to a zoo. It was bloody fun to watch animal food being thrown at the animals by little league wannabes. They'd throw it just so, and then the animal couldn't reach it. I would spend hours just watching them try to reach at this one bit." He gestured to Jonathan, "Thought I would try it with him." He raised his voice so Jonathan could hear, "Thought he'd like to see what it's like to have someone starving him."  
  
"Leave him alone," Buffy said. "He's not going to help us if you starve him."  
  
"What do you think you're going to get out of him?" Spike asked. "Thought that truth spell did that job already."  
  
"We need him to forget everything," Buffy said. "If his gang discovers what we know then we're in even more danger."  
  
"You forget that Dru told me everything," Spike pointed out.  
  
"And you're going to make her think that you've forgotten that too, that all you know is what we've told you," Buffy said.  
  
Spike nodded. He gestured to Jonathan, "So when do we let him go?"  
  
"As soon as we give him a memory drug," Buffy said. "There's a drug available that will wipe this whole thing from his memory. That way Tara won't have to cast a spell involving mind altering and the chance of his memory being retrieved through magic is impossible."  
  
"Sounds good," Spike said. "You can give him the drug, then I'll take him to a bar and we can make it look like he's jut been on a very long binge." At Buffy's look, he explained, "He was supposed to meet the cheerleader for a date. They'll think she turned him down and he decided to drown his sorrows."  
  
"Think they'll buy it?" Buffy said.  
  
"Do you have a better idea?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy had to admit that she didn't. She just hoped that they didn't find out where Jonathan really had been. That would only make things worse. She turned and started to go upstairs, Spike behind her. Buffy paused and called down to Jonathan that they'd send him some real food soon.  
  
When they got upstairs they saw that Angel had joined the group in the kitchen. Spike eyed him but didn't say anything. They had come to what passed for a truce between them and no one would thank Spike for ruining it.  
  
Buffy glanced at the clock, "Dawn, are you ready for school? Xander's going to be here any minute to pick you up."  
  
Dawn nodded, "I'm ready."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said. "And come right home after school. Don't stop for anything."  
  
Dawn nodded and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Listen to your sis, bit," Spike said. "There's a lot of nasties out there, just waiting to snatch up a tasty morsel like you."  
  
"In broad daylight?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yes in broad daylight," Spike said.  
  
Dawn sighed in exasperation but she went with Xander when he came to pick her up.  
  
"Okay," Cordelia said, as she tried to feed Connor his bottle. "What do you guys plan to do with your friend in the basement?"  
  
"Shut up, Spike," Buffy said before he could make some kind of Passions comment about friends in the basement. She looked at Cordelia and said, "You and Angel are going to stay here and keep an eye on Jonathan. Spike and I are going to the hospital to get that drug."  
  
"Me?" Spike said. He gestured to the outside, "Wrong time of day to talk a stroll."  
  
"You are perfectly capable of getting around during the day as you have proven many times. You'll just bring your blanket and everything will be fine. Besides," Buffy said. "I uh have a doctor's appointment this morning and they're going to do an ultrasound. I thought you'd want to come."  
  
"Uh," Spike stammered. "Sure, I'll come."  
  
"Good," Buffy said. "So lets go." She grabbed a large bottle of water and tossed Spike his blanket.  
  
"What's with the water?" Spike asked. "Is that to put me out when I start smoking?"  
  
"No," Buffy said, annoyed. "The doctor said that he wants me to have a full bladder when he does the ultrasound. It'll make things clearer."  
  
Spike nodded and the two of them hurried out the door to the car. Spike drove the car as fast as he could and hurried to the hospital and inside. Fortunately there was no one in the lobby to see Spike run inside smoking.  
  
"Let's get one thing straight," Spike said, beating out a small fire on his arm. "This kid had better be born at night."  
  
"I'll try and arrange that," Buffy said, dryly. The receptionist had entered the room and was sitting at her desk. Buffy let her know that they were here and they were shown right into the doctor's office. The nurse quickly took Buffy's blood pressure, pulse and made a few notes on her chart. Then she left, leaving Buffy and Spike to wait.  
  
"Nice place," Spike commented, looking around. "Reminds me of Captain Cardboard's old hangout."  
  
"It's not that bad," Buffy said. Although she did secretly agree with him, she didn't like the sterile walls and everything seemed too bright and harsh. If the delivery room was anything like this then Buffy wasn't too sure that that was where she wanted her baby to be born.  
  
"You okay luv?" Spike asked, sitting down next to her.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "I'm fine. I just hate hospitals."  
  
"Me too," Spike agreed. "Whole medical profession's a bloody joke."  
  
"Glad to hear your opinion of me and my colleagues," said a voice.  
  
Both Spike and Buffy jumped as the door fully opened and the doctor walked in. "Uh," Buffy stammered. "Ignore him. He."  
  
The doctor waved his hand and smiled, "That's fine. I've been called worse by both my patients and their husbands. It's one of the hazards of being an OB." He glanced at Buffy's chart. "So, Buffy, how have you been feeling?"  
  
"Better," Buffy said. "The morning sickness is pretty much gone."  
  
"I thought it would," The doctor said. "I thought you might feel better once you stopped taking those herbs. What were you thinking taking them?"  
  
"I was seeing a midwife and she said that they would help me feel better," Buffy said. She had explained that the last time she had seen the doctor and she didn't want to go over it again. She couldn't believe that she had been fooled by Sarah.  
  
"Well you should tell that midwife what she had been doing," The doctor suggested. "She might do serious damage to other patients."  
  
"Don't worry," Spike said. "I've spoken with her."  
  
"Good," The doctor said. Then he turned his attention to Buffy. "Alright, how about we see what's going on."  
  
Buffy sat down on the examining table and adjusted her clothes so that the doctor could squeeze the gel onto her stomach. "What are you doing?" Spike asked.  
  
"We're going to listen to the baby's heartbeat," The doctor explained. "I don't have the equipment here for a full ultrasound so we're just going to listen to the heartbeat. Then I'll send you down to the lab to get some blood drawn and then to radiology for the ultrasound."  
  
Buffy noticed Spike's interest in the lab and blood. She decided that she would get that done alone. Spike might decide to swipe a few test tubes while they were down there.  
  
"Okay," The doctor said. "Let's see what we can hear." He slid the transmitter around on Buffy's stomach. "Right, there we go," He turned up the volume on the monitor and the room was filled with the sound of a fast heartbeat.  
  
"Is that it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"That's it," The doctor said.  
  
Buffy didn't say anything. She just lay back and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of her baby's heartbeat. Spike watched her. He had heard the baby's heartbeat countless times and recently he had begun to hear it whenever the room was silent. As excited as he was about hearing the baby's heartbeat through the doctor's machine he was more excited about seeing the look on Buffy's face as she heard their child's heartbeat for the first time.  
  
"Does it sound okay?" Spike asked.  
  
"Everything's normal," The doctor explained. He missed the look Spike and Buffy shot each other. Buffy's pregnancy was far from normal but the doctor didn't need to know that. "I don't see any problems."  
  
Buffy sat up, wiped the gel off her stomach, and asked, "So there's no problem?"  
  
"Not that I can see," The doctor said. "Do you have any questions?"  
  
"Uh yeah," Buffy said. "It's about when my baby is born. I don't want to have my baby in a hospital. That's why I decided to go with a midwife in the first place. Is there any way I can have my baby at home?"  
  
"I don't know," The doctor said. "Since this is your first baby I would recommend you giving birth in a hospital setting but if you really don't want to go to a hospital I could give you the names of some good birthing centers."  
  
"What about someone who could come to my house?" Buffy asked.  
  
"There are a few people who could," The doctor said. "Some of these centers have people who will come to your house."  
  
"Can they be trusted?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yes," The doctor said. "These people are perfectly competent at what they do. I would have no problem sending you to one of them."  
  
"We'll talk about it," Spike said. After what had happened with Sarah, he wasn't sure he wanted to trust someone else.  
  
Buffy glanced at him but didn't say anything. She took the pamphlets about the birthing center the doctor gave her, thanked the doctor and they left.  
  
"We'll talk about it?" Buffy said, once they were in the lobby. "No we're not talking about anything. I'm the one having this baby so I make the decision on how it's born. Got it?"  
  
"Right," Spike said. "You and your mates were the ones who decided to go with Sarah. If you remember right I was the one who said we shouldn't use Sarah."  
  
"We had no idea that she was Warren's girlfriend and helping him to kill us all." Buffy snapped. "Now I don't want have this baby in a hospital so home is the obvious answer. What are you so worried about anyway? You, Charles and Charlotte were all born at home, weren't you? Your mother had to have used a midwife and she was fine."  
  
"She was lucky," Spike said. He looked at her, "Look Slayer.Buffy, I just want you two to be safe. I lost you once before. I'm bloody well not going to lose you again, either one of you."  
  
"We'll be fine," Buffy said. "Nothing is going to happen to me or our baby. Now come on."  
  
Buffy went down to the lab to have her blood dawn. She had forced Spike to wait in the lobby. He had wanted to come with her but she had held firm. She'd quickly had her blood drawn and collected Spike from the doctor's waiting room.  
  
Spike had used the time while waiting for Buffy to get his hand on the drug they needed to wipe Jonathan's memory. It hadn't been too hard to do. He had gotten the keys to the supply cabinet, swiped the drug and been back in the waiting room by the time Buffy got back.  
  
Then they went down to radiology for the ultrasound. They were taken right to the ultrasound room. Like she had in the doctor's office Buffy lay back on the table and adjusted her clothes. Spike sat down on the stool next to her and waited for the technician to begin.  
  
The technician spread some gel on Buffy's stomach and began to move the transmitter around, trying to find the baby. Spike and Buffy watched the screen, eager for a glimpse of their baby. Then suddenly, something appeared on the screen.  
  
"It that it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"That's it," The technician said. "See, there's the head, back, arms, and leg," She pointed to each part as she mentioned it. She moved the transmitter, taking pictures as she did. She glanced at Spike and Buffy, "It looks like everything's fine. The baby looks to be in good health." She adjusted the transmitter and said, "Do you want to know the sex?"  
  
"Uh," Buffy looked at Spike, "Do you want to know?"  
  
"Is it accurate?" Spike asked.  
  
'Well nothing is 100% sure," The technician said. "But this is one of the most accurate ways to determine the sex of your baby."  
  
"I want to know," Buffy said.  
  
"You do?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said. "If we know what we're having then it'll be easier to plan and I'm tired of calling this baby It. So we're finding out."  
  
"Okay," Spike said. "I guess we are." He didn't mind. A part of him wanted to if the baby was going to be a boy or girl too.  
  
The technician nodded and studied the screen, "Well you're in luck because it looks like the baby's in a perfect position to see."  
  
"So what is it?" Buffy asked impatiently.  
  
"Congratulations kids," The technician said. "You're having a healthy baby boy." 


	46. Something For Everyone

Chapter Forty-Six: Something For Everyone  
  
"You're crazy, you know that?" Buffy said as she and Spike walked through the door.  
  
"Look at the bloody picture," Spike said. "And tell me you don't see the resemblance."  
  
Buffy studied the picture in front of her and said, "The only resemblance I see is to our TV when it's on the blink."  
  
"Hey," Spike said. "Watch your mouth." He leaned over and touched Buffy's stomach, "Ignore her. We both know who you look like." He looked up and both he and Buffy noticed a group of people staring at them, "What?'  
  
"Have you officially lost your mind?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I think it's the hormones," Anya said. "Pregnant women tend to lose their minds."  
  
"No ones losing anything," Buffy said. "Except a few memories." She tossed the drug that Spike had gotten from the hospital to Willow. "That should make him forget a few things."  
  
"Any trouble getting it?" Willow asked.  
  
"No trouble at all," Spike said, sitting down at the island. "Didn't even have to scare anyone to get it."  
  
"So we give him this, pour alcohol over him and dump him in some ally?" Willow asked. "Is that going to work?"  
  
"You have a better idea?" Buffy asked. No one said anything. "Okay, so who makes the body dump?"  
  
"Send the whelp," Spike suggested. "He needs something to do."  
  
"Hey," Xander objected.  
  
But Buffy stopped him, "Xander and Angel can take him. Leave him in the alley behind the Bronze and then get back here right away."  
  
They nodded. Willow mixed the drug into a drink and sent Cordelia downstairs with it. She quickly returned and reported that Jonathan had drunk it all.  
  
"Good," Buffy said. "It works fast. So get him down to the Bronze."  
  
Angel and Xander untied Jonathan and brought him upstairs. The drug was already starting to take effect and they practically had to drag him out the door. Spike handed them a bottle of whiskey that he kept around and they were gone.  
  
"How was your doctor's appointment?" Dawn asked, once Xander and Angel were gone. "Is everything okay?"  
  
"The baby's fine," Buffy assured. "The doctor said that everything seems normal."  
  
"Did you find out what it is?" Willow asked eagerly. "Is it a boy or girl?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy said, walking over to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of milk.  
  
"What?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said. "The baby is a healthy boy or girl."  
  
"Well which one is it?" Willow asked. "Boy or girl?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Spike said. He could see the game Buffy was playing and was more than happy to help her out.  
  
"Come on," Dawn begged. "What is it? Am I getting a niece or nephew?"  
  
"You should show a little more patience, Bit," Spike said, drinking from his mug of blood. "There used to be a time when you didn't know until the kid was actually born. My own mother didn't know she was going to have twins until the day that they were born. I'd say you're pretty lucky to know what you do."  
  
Buffy nodded, "The baby's healthy. What more do we need to know?"  
  
"Well how do we know what kind of clothes and toys to buy?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Buy whatever you want," Buffy said. "Just leave the tags on and I'll return them if I have to."  
  
"What about the nursery?" Willow asked. "We'll figure it out when you start painting the walls pink or blue."  
  
"Where is the nursery going to be, anyway?" Cordelia asked. "It's a little cramped around here, even when Angel and I go back to L.A."  
  
Spike and Buffy exchanged looks. They had briefly discussed what they were going to do but Buffy had vetoed every one of his suggestions, mainly because most of them involved asking Willow to move out and he and Buffy moving into Joyce's old room. "We haven't decided," Buffy said. "But we have time to figure it out."  
  
"Not much," Cordelia pointed out. "It won't be long before that baby's born and you won't be ready. You have time to plan, use it."  
  
"I will," Buffy said.  
  
"So why don't we pick out the color for the baby's room," Dawn said. "Should I look at the blue or pink colors?"  
  
"How about nice blood red," Spike suggested.  
  
"That's not the color of a baby's room," Dawn protested.  
  
"Why not?" Spike asked.  
  
"Because.." Dawn couldn't think of a right reason.  
  
"I think red's highly appropriate for the child of a vampire and Vampire Slayer," Anya said.  
  
"No red," Buffy told him. "I'll check out some paint samples and we'll pick out something appropriate."  
  
"I'm come with you," Dawn offered. She glanced slyly at Spike. "I saw some neat baby clothes the other day. There was the cutest little pink dress there, all lace and frills. You have to see it and get it for the baby."  
  
"I'll look at it," Buffy said. She wasn't falling into Dawn's trap.  
  
Spike, however, did, "The hell you are. No one is dressing my son up in some girlie frills. You want him to turn out like Peaches, or worse?'  
  
Buffy groaned, Cordelia glared at Spike but Dawn squealed, "It's a boy!"  
  
"What's a boy?" Xander asked, as he and Angel came into the house.  
  
"Buffy's baby," Dawn said. "It's a boy."  
  
"Is it a boy?" Willow asked, looking at Buffy for confirmation.  
  
Buffy briefly glared at Spike, sighed and said, "Yes, the baby's a boy."  
  
"How can you tell?" Anya asked, looking at the ultrasound picture on the island. "This doesn't look like anything."  
  
"It does," Buffy said. "See there's the head, and the arms and the legs."  
  
"Okay," Dawn said. "I see it."  
  
"What are these?" Willow asked, looking at the pamphlets on the island.  
  
"Just some information the doctor gave me on some birthing centers, that way I can have the baby at home."  
  
"Is that a good idea?" Angel asked. It was the first time he'd spoken since seeing the ultrasound and hearing that Buffy and Spike were going to have a son.  
  
"It's fine," Buffy said. "The doctor I'm seeing is very nice but I'd feel better if I had the baby at home. It'll be easier to protect him here than in the hospital."  
  
"Right," Angel said. He headed for the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'm going out to do a quick patrol," Angel said. He looked at Cordelia and then Buffy, "Then we're going back to L.A."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, alarmed. "You're going back?"  
  
Angel nodded, "There's no reason to stay anymore and we're needed at home. It's time to go back."  
  
Buffy glared at Angel while everyone else, with the exception of Spike and Cordelia, hurried out of the room with excuses of needing to be home, studying or plans at the Bronze. Spike just stood there, watching, until Cordelia pulled him out of the room.  
  
"When were you planning on telling me this?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I just did," Angel said. "Cordelia and I talked about it and we decided that it's time to go home. You brought me here to help Spike. He's fine so you don't need us around anymore."  
  
Buffy started to protest but realized he was right. The only reason she had contacted him was because he had been needed to help Spike but Spike was recovered now. Angel had his life in L.A. and she had hers in Sunnydale. "No but I didn't expect you to leave so soon."  
  
"It's time for us to leave," Angel said.  
  
"I know," Buffy said, fighting back tears. "It's just been. nice having you around again."  
  
"I can't stay," Angel said. "You know that."  
  
Buffy nodded, tears spilling onto her cheeks. If he stayed it would only make things worse for her. If she wanted to create any kind of family for her son then she couldn't be distracted and Angel would be the ultimate distraction. His presence would only make her miserable and her son didn't need an unhappy mother. It would be better for everyone if both her and Angel went back to their normal lives, as twisted as they were, better for the people in their lives and better for their children. "Take care of yourself," Buffy said.  
  
"I will," Angel said. "If you will." He leaned over and kissed her on her forehead, "Be happy, Buffy, that's all I want for you," He whispered.  
  
Buffy looked up, unable to speak and then ran back into the house.  
  
Angel was just about to leave for patrol when the door opened and Spike walked out.  
  
"What the bloody hell did you say to her?" Spike asked angrily.  
  
"We just said goodbye," Angel told him.  
  
"If you said anything to hurt her." Spike said.  
  
"All I did was say goodbye," Angel repeated. "And that I want her to be happy."  
  
"She will be," Spike said.  
  
"If you do anything to hurt her." Angel warned.  
  
"I know. I know, you'll turn all Angelus and kill me," Spike said. "I've heard it all before."  
  
"I mean it," Angel said. He looked at Spike intently, "She cares about you. She might not see it but she does. I saw it while you were out. You matter to her so don't blow it."  
  
Spike made an irritated sound, "Right, I matter to her, that's why she runs from my bed every time I get her into it."  
  
"She's scared," Angel said.  
  
"I bloody well know that," Spike said. "I know her better than anyone does, even better than she knows herself."  
  
"Than you know she cares about you," Angel said.  
  
Spike turned away from Angel and looked out into the night, "Yeah, I do, sometimes I think she's about ready to admit it to herself but then she pulls away again."  
  
Angel nodded, "She will. What happened to you made her realize that she cares. All you have to do is be patient for once in your life."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "Let's make a deal. I'll be patient, wait for Buffy to come around and you stay out of our lives."  
  
"What?" Angel asked.  
  
"Stay the bloody hell away from her," Spike said. "All you're going to do is cause her more pain."  
  
"If she ever needs me I'll be there for her," Angel said. "But I agree with you that staying here will only cause more harm than good. That's why I'm taking Cordy and Connor back to L.A. tonight, so that I don't hurt her anymore than she already has been."  
  
"Good," Spike said. "Then leave now, I'll take care of tonight's patrol so you can go right now."  
  
"Alright," Angel said. "We'll leave now but not because you asked me."  
  
"Just as long as you leave," Spike said.  
  
The two longtime adversaries stared at each other for a moment, and then Angel turned and walked back into the house. Spike looked back into the night. Then he stepped off the porch and headed out into the night. After his conversation with Angel he felt like a good kill. 


	47. The World Around Me Changes

Chapter Forty-Seven: The World Around Me Changes  
  
"Time to wake up," Spike said, coming into Buffy's room with a tray.  
  
"Go away," Buffy said, pulling the covers over her head.  
  
"Come on," Spike said, setting the tray down and pulling the blankets off of her head. "You need to eat something."  
  
Buffy opened one eye and looked at what Spike had brought in, "Did you make that?"  
  
"No," Spike said. "Red did." Buffy nodded in relief, took her breakfast and began to eat. "We got the Bit off to school and Red's gone to class so it's just you and me."  
  
"Don't even think." Buffy started to say.  
  
""We'll shag later," Spike snapped. "Right now I'm telling you what Red and I decided while you were asleep."  
  
"What was that?" Buffy asked, eyeing him suspiciously.  
  
"The cheerleader was right," Spike said. "There's no room to breathe in here anymore so Red's moving out."  
  
"You told her to leave?" Buffy asked angrily. "You had no right to do that."  
  
"Calm down," Spike said. "It was Red's idea."  
  
"Willow wants to leave?" Buffy asked, hurt.  
  
"She didn't want to say anything before but now that things are settling down around here she wants to move out."  
  
"Why?" Buffy asked. Willow hadn't seemed unhappy so why was she leaving.  
  
"She and Glinda are shacking up," Spike explained.  
  
"I didn't realize that they were.." Buffy felt terrible. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems that she hadn't realized the extent of Willow and Tara's reconciliation.  
  
"Oh yeah," Spike said. "So with Red leaving that frees up a room. We'll move in there and this," He gestured to Buffy's room, "Can get turned into a nursery."  
  
"My room?" Buffy said.  
  
"We can get everything moved when Red leaves," Spike told her. "Then as soon as we have this room cleared out we can start getting it ready for our son."  
  
Buffy hesitated. She didn't want to move out of her room. It had been hers ever since she had moved to Sunnydale and moving out of her room and into her mother's room meant that she was truly growing up and taking the place of her mother in the house. She just didn't feel that she was ready to do that.  
  
Spike sighed. He knew what she was thinking and he understood. He moved her tray off the bed and sat down on the bed and pulled her into his arms, letting her head rest on his chest. "Come on luv," He said. He took the ultrasound picture off of her bedside table and held it so that they could both look at it. "This little guy deserves to have his own room ready and waiting for him when he's born."  
  
Buffy nodded, "He does," She agreed and her words were confirmed when she felt the baby move. She put her hand and her stomach, trying to see if the movement could be felt from the outside. She was rewarded by feeling a slight motion under her hand. She quickly grabbed Spike's hand and placed it on her stomach.  
  
"What the." Spike said. His eyes widened. He looked down at Buffy's stomach and than at her face, "Is that?"  
  
Buffy nodded, "That's the baby."  
  
"Bloody hell," Spike said in amazement. He ran his hand over Buffy's stomach, hoping to feel another kick. After a few minutes the baby kicked again. "Hey, he did it again," Spike said.  
  
"I'm aware of that," Buffy said.  
  
Spike ignored her sarcasm, "Has he done that before?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, I've felt some movement but nothing that anyone else could feel, this is the first real kick that I've felt."  
  
"Is he going to do it again?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Yes, he's going to be doing a lot of kicking from now on." She shifted position on the bed as the baby stopped kicking but continued to move.  
  
"You okay?" Spike asked.  
  
"Fine," Buffy told him. "He's stopped kicking but he's still moving."  
  
Spike tried to feel the baby moving but he wasn't able to, "I'll take your word for it," He said. He glanced around the room, "So how about we start getting this room ready for him?"  
  
Buffy sighed. She wasn't going to fight him on this. He was right in that the baby did need a place to sleep, "When's Willow going to move in with Tara?" She asked.  
  
"I think they were going to go and look and some places today," Spike said. "So as soon as Red moves out we can start moving and decorating."  
  
"Any ideas?" Buffy asked. "You're the one who ate the interior decorator."  
  
"I see." Spike said. "Blood red walls."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "Not red walls." She thought for a minute. "When Dawn was born her room was done in pink."  
  
"Forget it," Spike said. "My son is not having pink walls."  
  
"Fine," Buffy said. "You're the one who had a little brother. What color was Charles's room?"  
  
Spike thought back, trying to remember, "Mother decorated the room in blue tones. It was just coming into fashion that blue was for boys so that was the theme for the nursery. The twins shared a room until Charles died. After that Mother and my uncle didn't see any need for redecorating."  
  
"So you want to follow tradition and decorate this room in blue?"  
  
Spike eyed her, "Since when have we followed tradition?"  
  
"Good point," Buffy said. "So we're back where we started from, with no idea how to decorate our son's room."  
  
Spike hesitated and then said, "I saw something that I think would work." He pulled out a catalog page.  
  
Buffy looked at it, "I think that'll work."  
  
The page showed a room done in soft blue wallpaper with glow-in-the dark stars all over it. There was a white crib with sheets and blankets done in the same pattern as the wallpaper. There were even shelves with the brackets looking like stars and moons.  
  
"You like it?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yeah I do," Buffy said. "I think it's appropriate for the son of a Slayer and a Vampire."  
  
"Good," Spike said. He put his hand back on Buffy's stomach. "What do you think?" He felt a kick. He looked back at Buffy, "I'd say he likes it."  
  
"Ow," Buffy said shifting position as the baby's hard kicks continued. "I'd hate to see what would happen if he hated it."  
  
"He'd let you know," Spike said. Then he leaned over and planted a sizzling kiss on her lips.  
  
"Spike," Buffy gasped, pushing him away. "No."  
  
"Why resist?" Spike asked. "It's so much easier when you stop fighting what you and I both know you want."  
  
"No, I don't want." Buffy tried to say, cursing he hormones as her body began to respond to Spike's.  
  
"Yes you do," Spike told her.  
  
Before she realized what was happening she was swept away until everything was forgotten but the feel of Spike's body on hers.  
  
Afterwards she lay back, curled against Spike as he played with her hair. She shut her eyes, trying to fight the contentment she felt. "What is happening here?" She asked.  
  
"If you haven't figured that out than I'm doing something wrong," Spike said.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "What am I feeling right now? What is it and is it real?"  
  
"'Fraid I don't follow you, pet," Spike answered.  
  
"I'm supposed to hate you," Buffy said. "So why don't I?" She sat up and looked at Spike. "I don't hate you at all. I don't know what I feel for you."  
  
"Love?" Spike suggested, hardly daring to hope.  
  
Buffy shook her head, "I don't know. I just know that when I thought that I was going to lose you I realized that you mean more to me than I realized, that I didn't want to lose you." She tried to find the right words. "And not just because of Dawn and our baby." She took a deep breath, "I need you, more than you know."  
  
"I know," Spike said, quietly. "Because I need you just as much, probably even more." He pulled her down into his arms and gently kissed her. She kissed him back and they began their dance. This time was different than any other time. This time they were trying to tell the other that they were needed, that they didn't want to be without each other. 


	48. Shall We Dance?

Chapter Forty-Seven: Shall We Dance?  
  
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I wrote six pages, then realized that I hated what I had written so I deleted it all and started again. I like this version much better. I hope you do too. Please let me know either way!  
  
  
  
"There you guys are," Willow said. "We didn't think you were coming."  
  
"Well we would have been here sooner," Dawn said, sitting down at the table with Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya. "But some people," She cast a look at Buffy and Spike. "Had a little trouble getting out of bed."  
  
"Schools get out too bloody early," Spike said. "When I was in school we spent every waking minute studying and when we weren't studying we were taking our turns getting beaten up by the older classes." He sighed, "I miss the old days sometimes."  
  
"Lovely system of education," Buffy said.  
  
"Better than at home," Spike said.  
  
"Why was it..?" Willow started to say but the look on Spike's face stopped her. Then she remembered some of his delirious ramblings and put the two together.  
  
"I was late getting home," Dawn said, ignoring Spike's description of boarding school. "I was late and you still were in bed. Did you even get up at all today?"  
  
"Of course I did, several times." Spike said.  
  
"Okay," Xander said, pushing her plate back. "There goes my appetite."  
  
"Well I still have mine," Buffy said. She looked at Spike, "Go order for me." She pulled him down, whispered in his ear. Spike gave her a strange look but went off to order.  
  
"What are you getting?" Willow asked.  
  
"Don't ask," Dawn advised. "Or you'll lose your appetite too."  
  
Buffy glared at her sister then turned her attention to Tara and Willow, "So did you guys find an apartment?"  
  
"Yeah we did," Willow said excitedly. "It's so cute. It's a little one- bedroom, not far from campus and we can afford it."  
  
"Great," Buffy said. "When are you going to move in?"  
  
"We already signed a lease," Tara said. "So we're going to move in as soon as we get all our things packed."  
  
"We still need some furniture," Willow said. "But we're going to check out the thrift stores. They usually have neat things."  
  
"I have to start shopping too," Buffy said. "We finally figured out how we want to decorate the nursery."  
  
"You're going for the blood red paint?" Anya asked.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "We're going for something like this." She pulled the catalogue picture.  
  
Amid the oohhs and ahhs and 'how cutes', Anya looked at Xander and said, "When are we going to have a baby? We should have one so that we can get caught up with Buffy and Spike. "  
  
Xander choked on his drink, "What?"  
  
"We're married, the next logical step is children. When are we going to have them?"  
  
"An," Xander said, trying to keep calm, "We haven't been married that long and we shouldn't have kids until we've been married a little longer."  
  
"What does that have to do with it?" Anya asked. "Buffy and Spike aren't married and they're having a baby."  
  
"Yeah but they're." Xander caught Buffy's murderous look and quickly said, "Non-traditionalists. We're following tradition."  
  
"Right and having children is traditionally part of marriage. So when are we going to have them?"  
  
"When we're ready," Xander said.  
  
"No," Anya said, angrily. "When you're ready, right? My thoughts and feelings don't matter."  
  
"Honey." Xander said. He looked at everyone else but they either didn't want to intervene or were offended by his comments.  
  
"Okay luv," Spike said, coming back to the table, oblivious to the tension. "Here's your flowering onion and the whipped cream you requested." He didn't tell her that he was never ordering for her again. The waiter had been looking at him strangely until Spike pointed out Buffy. Then the waiter had understood.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said, grabbing off part of the onion, spraying it with whipped cream and beginning to eat.  
  
"That is so gross," Dawn said.  
  
"No it's not," Buffy said. "Besides it's either eat this or the baby turns my insides black and blue."  
  
Anya glared at Xander, stood up and grabbed Spike's arm, "Let's dance," She said, pulling him out onto the dance floor. Spike shot a confused and panicked look at Buffy but that didn't prevent Anya from dragging him onto the floor and forcing him to dance with her.  
  
"Ah, what is going on here?" Spike asked.  
  
"Look interested," Anya ordered, laying her head on his chest.  
  
"Why?" Spike asked, glancing over at Buffy. She and Xander were shooting murderous looks in his direction.  
  
"So that Xander will become jealous and come to his senses." Anya explained. She looked up at Spike. "You're not looking like you're having fun."  
  
"Risking dismemberment does that to a bloke," Spike said.  
  
"They won't hurt you," Anya said. "Now look interested."  
  
"What did the whelp do this time?" Spike asked.  
  
"Everything has to be on his terms," Anya complained. "He decided where we were going to go on our honeymoon. He lets all of our friends insult me and he never defends me. He's always telling me how to behave, what I should and shouldn't say. Now he gets to decide when we have children."  
  
"So you're mad because the whelp is bossing you around and doesn't want to have kiddies?" Spike asked.  
  
"Right," Anya said.  
  
Spike glanced helplessly at Buffy but she was still glaring at him. Spike sighed. He was going to be very lucky if he got through the night without being staked by either Buffy or Xander.  
  
At the table Willow saw the murderous glances Buffy was throwing in Spike and Anya's direction, "Hey Buffy," Willow said, trying to distract her. "Don't think anger is good for the baby."  
  
Buffy looked at Willow, "I think he knows that I want to stake his father. He keeps kicking."  
  
"Well if you don't want to stake him than I will," Xander offered.  
  
"Well no staking would be needed if your wife would get her hands off my son's father," Buffy snapped.  
  
"Well he doesn't have to enjoy it," Xander said. "Come on," He grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.  
  
"Hey," Buffy said, upset about being torn away from her flowering onion and whipped cream. "If you want to upset Anya than find another way because this isn't going to work." She danced her and Xander over to where Spike and Anya were. "Okay, you two fight this out yourself."  
  
"I have nothing to say to him," Anya snapped. "Spike, take me home."  
  
"No," Buffy said, grabbing his arm. "He's staying here."  
  
"No," Anya said, grabbing his other arm. "He's taking me home."  
  
"Spike," Buffy said. "Who's it going to be?" Her tone made it clear who he had better chose if he wanted to get through the night without being dusted.  
  
"Drusilla," Spike said.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy and Anya said at the same time.  
  
"That wasn't one of your choices," Anya said.  
  
"No," Spike said. "She just walked in."  
  
Everyone turned and saw Drusilla walk in, on the arm of some fledgling.  
  
"Am I the only one who wants to leave now?" Xander suggested.  
  
"No," Buffy said. "We're not going anywhere. If she wants a fight than she'll get one."  
  
"I think she does," Xander said. "Because she's headed this way."  
  
Spike stepped in front of Buffy and Xander, seeing Spike's action, stepped in front of Anya. "What do you want Dru?" Spike asked.  
  
"I want a party," Drusilla said. "But everyone I invited hasn't come yet."  
  
"Sorry to hear that," Spike said.  
  
"My brain and heart haven't come yet," Dru complained.  
  
"I always knew that she was missing those parts," Buffy said. Spike glared at her to shut up.  
  
Drusilla stepped forward, her attention already drawn away from Spike and towards Buffy and Anya. She tilted her head and said, "The stars will align and evil will rise." She giggled, "Pretty party."  
  
"Sorry," Buff said. "But your party's going to be crashed."  
  
Drusilla looked up at the ceiling, "Two pretty flowers, one will bloom and one will wither," She laughed and spun around. Then she fixed her gaze on Buffy and Anya, "One will laugh, one won't cry and everyone will die." Then she twirled around and walked out the door. 


	49. If I Only

Chapter Forty-Eight: If I Only Had A..  
  
I've sent out this call to some of my other readers but right now I'm sending out a general plea! Help! Anyone Help! I don't get UPN in my area so I've been watching Buffy on my local FOX station and I don't think it's going to be shown this season. So if there is anyone out there willing to tape pity on me and tape it each week. (On the same tape one week's show starting right after where the last one left off, if this makes sense) Then when the tape is full send it to me and start a new one. I will pay for tapes and postage and any other expenses. Please let me know ASAP if you can do this!  
  
"So what exactly did Drusilla say to you guys?" Dawn asked.  
  
'Nothing that made sense," Buffy said, hurrying into the house. After their run-in with Drusilla the whole Scooby gang had decided to go back to Buffy's house to figure out this latest development.  
  
"She said something about missing a brain and a heart," Anya said. "Then she started babbling about flowers."  
  
"So what was she talking about?" Buffy asked. Everyone looked at Spike.  
  
"Why are you all looking at me?" Spike asked, annoyed.  
  
"Because you were with that lunatic for over a hundred years. Don't you know how to translate her ramblings into English?" Buffy said.  
  
"Sometimes," Spike said. "It's hard to tell what the bloody hell she's talking about. The only part that made any kind of sense is when she talked about the brain and heart."  
  
"Yeah what was that about?" Xander asked. His and Anya's argument was forgotten for the moment but both of them knew that once they were alone it would resurface.  
  
"She was talking about her army," Spike explained.  
  
"Of course," Anya said. "Why didn't I figure it myself?"  
  
"Vengeance demons aren't used for this," Spike explained. "At least not normally."  
  
"Used for what?" Willow asked.  
  
"Demon armies," Spike explained. "Aren't based on strength. They're made up of different demons playing different roles. From what I saw she has 4 Feral demons recruited to be the muscle of the army. She's hired some Defels to be the eyes and ears. She's hired a whole slew of demons to be the different parts of her army. She just doesn't have the demons worthy enough to be the brains and heart of the army."  
  
"Who would she chose for that?" Willow asked. "Vampires?"  
  
Spike shook his head, "Any demon smart enough to be the brain of an army would take control of it from Dru. She might be crazy but she's too smart to let anyone smarter than her be the brains."  
  
"So she's looking for a demon that will take orders but it smart enough to improvise when it needs to," Anya guessed.  
  
Spike nodded, "And for the heart she needs someone to fuel the army into doing what she wants them to do."  
  
"What's that?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I don't know," Spike said. He looked at Buffy and Anya. Dru had had some kind of vision and it had to do with the both of them. He just wondered what it had meant. Whatever it meant, it couldn't be something good.  
  
"You didn't pick up any kind of information while you were with them?" Buffy asked. "About exactly what this army's for?"  
  
"I just know that she wants to open the Hellmouth and she's being helped by those wankers, " Spike said. He looked down at Buffy, who was stretched out in a now familiar position with her head resting in his lap. "They're the ones who are after the two of you. Dru's paying more attention to her army."  
  
"Why does she want to open the Hellmouth in the first place?" Xander wondered. "I mean she's insane but she never tried anything like that before."  
  
"No," Spike agreed. "We preferred other forms of ending the world, the Judge, Acaltha."  
  
"Right," Buffy said. "And look how great they turned out. What's going to happen when she tries to open the Hellmouth."  
  
"Something we have to stop," Willow said.  
  
"She saw something tonight else tonight too," Buffy pointed out. "What was that?"  
  
"I don't know," Spike insisted.  
  
"She was looking at me and Buffy," Anya pointed out. "Does that mean anything?"  
  
"Could," Spike allowed. He wasn't going to say anything more until he figured out exactly what Drusilla had seen. "Never can tell with Dru's visions."  
  
"Hey," Dawn said. "I just thought of something. If we can keep her from putting her army together than she won't be able to open the Hellmouth."  
  
"Sorry Bit," Spike said. "But all she needs is the ritual performed at the right time."  
  
"Then why is she creating this army in the first place?" Willow asked. "If all she needs is the ritual and why is she working with the Trio?"  
  
"Who knows when it comes to Drusilla," Buffy said. She had a feeling that Spike knew more than he was saying. She just hoped he said what he knew before it was too late.  
  
Dawn yawned and stretched, "Well I'm going to bed, night all." She stood up and went upstairs.  
  
"We should get going too," Xander said. "It's late and we have to work tomorrow." He stood up and looked at Anya, waiting for her to stand up and go with him.  
  
Anya glared at him. She was still angry with him but she stood up, "Fine, we'll go home but," She warned. "We're not having sex tonight." Then she stormed out, followed by Xander.  
  
Everyone looked after them. There were a few awkward moments and then Willow and Tara stood up and went to bed, leaving Buffy and Spike downstairs.  
  
"I'm going to bed too," Buffy said. "You coming?"  
  
Spike hesitated. She was actually inviting him into her bed. He was making excellent progress but he also had to check on a few things tonight. He leaned over and kissed her, "Have to take care of a few things, luv."  
  
"What things?" Buffy asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nothing for you to worry about," Spike assured her. "I'll be back before you know it." Then he walked out, leaving Buffy to turn off the lights and go upstairs.  
  
Spike hurried down the street until he reached his crypt. The last time he'd been there he'd been with Buffy so he hadn't been able to check out how the cats were doing. He opened the door and saw that the T.V. was on.  
  
"Hey," said Clem poping up from the couch he'd hauled in. "How're you doing?" He studied Spike for a minute. "You remember who I am right?"  
  
"Yes," Spike said, rolling his eyes. "I know who you are." He gestured to the TV, "What the bloody hell are you watching?"  
  
"Noting Hill," Clem said. "Thought you'd like it. There's even a guy named Spike in it."  
  
"Seen it," Spike said. He'd watched it with Buffy one evening. She's been especially hormonal that evening and had cried through half of the movie. "And that wanker is an insult to the name."  
  
Clem shrugged and passed the bucket of wings to Spike who had sat down next to him on the couch. "Crypt looks good," Spike said.  
  
"Yeah, I'm pretty much living here," Clem said. "This place is a lot better than mine."  
  
"Cats giving you any trouble?" Spike asked.  
  
"No, I just feed them and let them live their own life."  
  
"Well you don't have to worry about them anymore," Spike said. "I'm going to take them back with me tonight. They're going to live in the basement from now on."  
  
"The Slayer know about that?" Clem asked.  
  
Spike shrugged, "I'm the vampire of the house. I say what goes and what stays. No one tells me what to do."  
  
"She must not know."  
  
"Not yet," Spike said. "But by the time she figures out that they're living in the basement the kittens will already have been born and I'll be making money from them."  
  
"Isn't she the one who set them free that one time," Clem pointed out.  
  
"She was drunk," Spike pointed out. He thought for a minute. If Buffy really objected to what the kittens were going to be used for than he'd bring them back to the crypt to live.  
  
"Yeah but." Clem said.  
  
"I've got it covered," Spike said. Buffy wouldn't mind him selling kittens, after all it was to provide for her, their son, and Dawn.  
  
"Oh," Clem said, inhaling a handful of pork rinds. "I saw your crazy ex the other day."  
  
"Dru?" Spike asked.  
  
"Who else," Clem wondered. "I thought she was your one and only for a century."  
  
"Mainly," Spike agreed. If you didn't count the times he and Angulus had traded Dru and Darla around or the occasional times he'd play with his food. Then there had been that nightmare Harmony and even before them there had been Cecily A.K.A Halfrek. "So what was Dru up to?"  
  
"I don't know," Clem admitted. "I didn't stick around to talk, you know. She's scary."  
  
"Wait until you get to know her," Spike said. "Then she's terrifying." He grabbed the bag of pork rinds from Clem. "I saw her tonight."  
  
"And she didn't try to kill you again," Clem look impressed. "I thought she wanted you dead."  
  
"No," Spike explained. "She wants us to get back together and destroy the world."  
  
"So she poisoned you and nearly killed you?" Clem said.  
  
"Right," Spike said.  
  
Clem took his pork rinds back, "Weird way to show you care but whatever works."  
  
"That's how I got her back last time," Spike said.  
  
"Remind me never to get involved with a vampire," Clem said.  
  
Spike stood up. "Humans and demons relations are all the same and since I'm the only one of us in one I'd better grab the cats and get home." He headed down to the lower level of his crypt and went to where he had been hiding the cats. After gathering their things he hurried back to the house.  
  
Meanwhile back in the crypt a figure curled up next to Clem on the couch, "I though he'd never leave." She looked up at him. "Think he suspects anything?"  
  
"No," Clem said. "He doesn't have any idea. Want me to rewind the movie?" 


	50. Everyday I'm Learning

Chapter Fifty: Everyday I'm Learning  
  
"Morning," Spike said, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself a mug of blood.  
  
"Afternoon," Dawn corrected. She gestured to the clock. "I'm already home from school."  
  
"Where's your sis?" Spike said, looking around for Buffy.  
  
"She went out after I left for school," Dawn explained, not looking up from her homework.  
  
"And where did she go?" Spike asked.  
  
Dawn shrugged, "I don't know. I just found a note when I got home saying that she'd gone out but that she'd be home before dinner. Oh and we're in charge of dinner." She held up two menus, "Pizza or Chinese?"  
  
"Chinese," Spike said. "Nothing better than a nice Chinese Slay.egg roll," He quickly covered.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes and ordered dinner for all of them. She knew what Spike was going to say. She'd read about how Spike had killed the Chinese Slayer.  
  
"So where did you go last night?" Dawn asked. "I heard what time you got in."  
  
"I stopped to check on the crypt," Spike explained. "And the cats."  
  
"How are they?" Dawn asked eagerly.  
  
"In the basement," Spike said.  
  
"Really?" Dawn said. She hurried downstairs and returned with Fluffy, the female tabby cat, in her arms. "Does Buffy know?"  
  
"No," Spike said. "Not yet. I'll wait until I make a profit off them."  
  
"And ever if she does find out," Dawn said, scratching Fluffy under the chin. "How could she resist this face?"  
  
Spike took the cat out of her arms, "Don't get attached. They're not pets, remember."  
  
"Right," Dawn said. "They're dinner."  
  
"They're worth a lot," Spike told her. "So just think of them as furry cash."  
  
"Cute cash," dawn said, petting the cat. "And her kittens are going to be adorable."  
  
"They're going to make us money," Spike corrected. "That's it." He tilted his head and handed Dawn Fluffy. "Take her down to the basement."  
  
Dawn obeyed and was able to get the cat out of the kitchen before Buffy walked in  
  
"Hey," Spike said. "Where were you?"  
  
Buffy pulled some papers out of her purse and laid them on the island, "I was checking out some of the birthing centers that the doctor recommended." She handed Spike a sheet of paper. "I liked this one the best."  
  
Spike quickly read through the information she had given him, "Looks good," He said.  
  
"You didn't even read it," Buffy protested. "Oh well," She said. "I guess it doesn't matter."  
  
"Why not?" Spike asked, suspiciously.  
  
"Because," Buffy started to say but she was interrupted by the arrival of dinner along with Willow and Tara, who had been out shopping for their apartment.  
  
Everyone sat down at the table and opened the different cartons of Chinese food.  
  
"These are good," Willow said, taking a bite of an egg roll.  
  
"It's a new place," Dawn explained. "So new that when I gave them our address they didn't recognize it."  
  
"We have got to learn how to cook," Buffy said. "We can't live off take-out for the rest of our lives."  
  
"Fine," Spike said "Learn how to cook."  
  
"Me," Buffy protested. "Why should I have to?"  
  
"You want Spike to be the one in charge of our meals?" Dawn pointed out.  
  
Buffy thought about that for a minute, "Maybe," She said, an idea forming in her mind.  
  
"I like the old days better," Spike said, grabbing a water chestnut from Buffy's plate. "We sat down to dinner and it was served."  
  
"Right," Willow said. "By servants, underpaid and overworked."  
  
"We paid them very well," Spike said. "Put a roof over their heads, took care of them."  
  
"But you still had servants," Willow pointed out.  
  
Spike didn't bother to explain that in his house servants had practically been a part of the family. His nanny had been more of a mother to him and the twins than his own had been and the housekeeper and cook had been like a grandmother and doting aunt to them.  
  
"Well we don't have them," Buffy said. "So starting tomorrow each one of us is going to rotate being in charge of dinner. Breakfast and lunch are on your own since Dawn has school. Takeout can only be used in the event of an apocalypse."  
  
"Or dinner burning," Dawn added.  
  
"Or dinner burning," Buffy agreed.  
  
"What made you decide this?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy gestured to her carton of Chinese food, "I'm sick of takeout. I'm sick of delivery boys knowing our address and it's getting too expensive and unhealthy to eat out all the time. With a baby coming we can't afford to." She looked around the table, daring anyone to argue with her.  
  
"Whose turn is it tomorrow?" Dawn asked, practically.  
  
"I'll start," Buffy said. "Since I don't want Spike to burn the house and you don't even want to try your own cooking experiments." Again no one argued with her since neither Spike nor Dawn wanted to be the first to be in charge of dinner.  
  
"And I want it to be healthy," Buffy added. She looked at Spike, "We'll go grocery shopping tonight afterwards." She looked at Willow and Tara, "Are you guys doing anything tonight."  
  
"No," Willow said. "We were just going to do some packing."  
  
"We went shopping today and found a lot of furniture today," Tara said. "It's all being delivered so all we have to do is pack up and move in."  
  
"While you're packing can you stay with Dawn?" Buffy asked. "Spike and I are going out tonight."  
  
"What?" Dawn asked and Spike looked confused. This was the first that he had heard of it. "I can stay by myself," Dawn protested.  
  
"No you can't," Buffy said. "It's too dangerous right now. Once this is settled than maybe."  
  
"And by then you'll have gone from needing a sitter to actually being a sitter," Spike added.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. "She's not old enough to take care of a baby."  
  
"Yes she bloody well is," Spike said. "Besides then we don't have to pay sitters."  
  
"I'm not baby-sitting for free," Dawn protested.  
  
"Roof over your head, meals, clothes, pretty sweet deal," Spike said.  
  
Dawn look like she was about to protest but Buffy interrupted her before she could speak, "We'll discuss this later," She told Spike. "We have to leave soon." She stood up, grabbed her empty cartoon and took it to throw away.  
  
"And where are we going?" Spike asked.  
  
"I didn't tell you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No," Spike said. "What the bloody hell is going on?" He followed Buffy up and into her room. She was searching through her clothes, looking at first one outfit discarding one and considering another.  
  
She turned and studied him, "I hope you own something different to wear, anything that doesn't look like it belongs at Woodstock."  
  
"This isn't what I wore at Woodstock," Spike protested. "And no I don't have anything else." He'd gotten rid of the nancy boy clothes he had bought to try and impress Buffy a long time ago and gone back to his usual wear.  
  
Buffy looked him up and down and sighed, "It'll have to do. I don't have time to take you shopping." She turned away from Spike and studied herself in the mirror. She was wearing black stretch pants and a flowered sundress that didn't hide her pregnancy but didn't conceal it either. She smoothed her dress over her stomach and said, "That's the best I can do." She looked and Spike and then at herself in the mirror. "We're going to look like a couple of teenagers who don't have a clue about what they're doing."  
  
"You're right there," Spike said. "I don't have a bloody clue about what's going on so would you mind telling him."  
  
"I though I told you," Buffy said.  
  
"No, Spike said. "Now for the last time, what the bloody hell is going on here."  
  
"We have our first class tonight," Buffy said.  
  
"Class?" Spike asked.  
  
"Right," Buffy said. "When I talked to the people at the birthing centers I only found one that would come to the house and deliver the baby here. So I decided on that one. They have requirements, though. And one of them is that all parents are required to take parenting classes. Our first class is tonight."  
  
"What?" Spike exclaimed, shocked. "Parenting class?"  
  
"Right," Buffy said. "And then we also have to take a CPR and first aid class along with Lamaze." Spike looked like he was about to protest so she continued, "It's a requirement. I had to sign us up or they wouldn't have agreed to let me have the baby at home." She glanced at the clock, "And we're going to be late." She hurried out of the room.  
  
Spike followed her downstairs. Buffy called to Dawn, Tara and Willow that that would be back soon. They took Joyce's old car. Spike didn't mind driving it but at times like this he wished he had the DeSota back.  
  
"Okay," Buffy said. "On the forms I had to fill out I left most yours blank. They'll want you to fill out the rest tonight."  
  
Spike nodded and parked in front of the building. He really didn't want to be here but he had a feeling that if he said one word of protest he would wind up as a big pile of dust. He did have one opinion about the clinic she had chosen, "Looks a bit pricey. How do you plan on paying for this, luv?"  
  
"Dawn and I are on my dad's insurance plan," Buffy explained. "His insurance will cover this. She just hoped he didn't look at the bills and realize that his insurance company was paying her pregnancy bills.  
  
"Not for long," Spike muttered under his breath. As soon as the kittens started making a profit he'd be able to completely provide for his family.  
  
He and Buffy walked into the clinic and found their way to a room that resembled a living room. Couches and chairs were arranged in a circle and coffee tables were in front of or next to them. There was also a TV and VCR in one corner. They weren't the first to arrive either. There were several other couples there, all different ages, although it looked like Buffy was the youngest mother and Spike appeared to be the youngest father there. The women were all in different stages of pregnancy. Some looked like they were about to give birth on the spot and others weren't even showing but the majority looked like they were about as far along as Buffy.  
  
Spike and Buffy looked around and at each other. They had prevented several apocalypses, fought demons and vampires in their spare time, had faced a hell god and both of them had died. They could deal with their latest challenge: parenting class. 


	51. Teach Me To

Chapter Fifty-One: Teach Me To  
  
"Alright everyone," The instructor said once all the parents were settled. "Let's begin." She looked around the room. "Now most of you I know since the majority of you have used the clinic before but for the benefit of our newcomers, why don't we go around and introduce ourselves." She gestured to Spike and Buffy. "Let's start with you two. Can you tell us your names and the number of children you have."  
  
"Uh," Buffy stammered. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm Buffy Summers and this.." She had no idea of how to introduce Spike. No matter what name he used, Spike or William the Bloody, she was going to have some explaining to do.  
  
One of the women took pity on her and said, "Don't feel bad, I'm the same way. Some days I'm lucky if I can remember my own name let along someone else's."  
  
Buffy nodded, grateful at the rescue, and Spike also spoke up, "Spike."  
  
"Excuse me?" The instructor asked. "Did you just say your name was Spike?"  
  
"Nick-name," Buffy covered.  
  
"Where did that come from?" One of the fathers asked, curiously.  
  
"Long story," Spike said. "I'll explain it later. My real name is William Bennett," The name sounded strange since he hadn't used it for over a century. "And this is our first child."  
  
The rest of the room introduced themselves and pretty soon it was clear that Buffy and Spike were the only first-time parents in the room. The instructor noticed this too, "Well it looks like you two are the only ones becoming parents for the first time. Do either of you have any kind of experience with children?"  
  
"My mother died about a year ago," Buffy explained. "I'm the legal guardian of my teenage sister and Spike also helped raise his younger brother and sister."  
  
"A teenager and a new baby," One of the women said. "Sounds like my house. This is our 'surprise' child. We have two teenagers at home." She shook her head, "They're excited now but what's going to happen when the baby's born?"  
  
"That's something we want to help you with," The instructor said. "All of you have to help the other children in your life adjust to your new baby."  
  
"My girls are excited," One of the mothers said. "They're thrilled about having a little brother or sister."  
  
"Not my son, he's had us all to himself for eight years and now he has to share us with his new little brother," Another mother said.  
  
Before long everyone was discussing how their other children were reacting to the news of a new sibling. Buffy was drawn right in to the discussion but Spike quickly became bored. This 'class' was turning into a discussion group with the instructor only pointing out what was right and what was wrong and making her own suggestions. And it appeared that instructor's solution for every problem was therapy. He wondered if it was a coincidence that the clinic had several therapists on staff.  
  
The instructor noticed that his eyes had glazed over, "Will..er.Spike," She said. "Is there a problem?"  
  
"What?" Spike said, snapping to attention. "No, no problem here."  
  
"Good," She said. "Because learning how to be a good parent is just as important for fathers as it is for mothers. So why don't you give us your views on how to help Buffy's sister adjust to your new baby."  
  
"Just have to let the Nibblet know that we still love her," Spike said. "It's not that difficult. Everyone's into these new age things, needing therapy for everything."  
  
"Spike," Buffy whispered under her breath, so that no one would hear her but him. "Shut up."  
  
Spike ignored her, "I was ten when my brother and sister were born. My parents sure didn't do anything to prepare me other than mention that I was getting a brother. Then suddenly I find out I have one of each. I bloody well didn't need therapy to deal with them."  
  
"I agree with Spike," Another less vocal father said. "Sibling rivalry's been around since the beginning of time. All we can do as parents is to make sure that our children know that we love them both equally."  
  
"How do you explain that to a toddler?" One of the mothers asked. "My daughter will have just turned two when the baby's born. She's not going to understand any of what's going on except that she won't have my full attention anymore."  
  
"So?" Spike said. "I bloody well didn't understand what was going when anything life-altering occurred to me. I just dealt with it and moved on, whether it was getting a brother and sister or becoming a.." He was about to blurt out vampire when Buffy discreetly kicked him in the leg. He quickly covered by saying, "Father."  
  
"Fine," The instructor broke in. "I think this is one area that each of us needs to find our own solution that best suits the children involved. For our next class I want all of us to sit down with our partners and each of you figure out a way to help the other children in your house adjust to the new baby. I want to hear your ideas. For now I have something for each couple." She pulled out a box, "I'm giving you each one now and at the end of this class you'll turn them in." She took out several dolls. "These are dolls that are programmed to cry at different times. Some of them are fussy and others are calm. When they cry you insert this key," She showed them how to insert the key and said, "The dolls are also programmed so that I'll be able to tell how quickly you react to the cries." She raised her eyes, "And that will be a big part of how you're graded for this class. These will help prepare you for your new baby, a preview for our new parents and a refresher for ones who already have children."  
  
Spike, along with half the class went up and grabbed one of the dolls. He took it back to Buffy, who wasn't pleased with his choice.  
  
"Why did you get us a girl doll?" She asked. "We're having a boy, remember?"  
  
"I know," Spike said. "But I have the perfect name for her."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Edith," Spike said, holding up the doll. "We can call her Miss Edith."  
  
Buffy glared at him, stood up, grabbed the doll and stormed over to the table where the dolls where. There she grabbed a boy doll.  
  
"Problems?" One of the other women asked, sympathetically.  
  
Buffy gestured to the girl doll, "Spike grabbed the wrong doll. We're having a boy but he took a girl doll."  
  
The woman held up a girl doll, "We don't know what we're having so I just reached in and grabbed. I'm Meg, by the way and that's my husband Mark talking to Spike."  
  
Buffy looked in their direction, "I hope he behaves himself."  
  
"Doesn't play well with others?" Meg asked, sympathetically.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Last time we went out in public together was to a friend's wedding. We had to leave early because he got into a fight with the maid-of- honor."  
  
"Sounds like quite a charmer," Meg commented.  
  
"He is," Buffy admitted. "I think that's the only way he's been able to stay alive this long."  
  
"That's the only way any man's able to stay alive," Meg said. "By charming their way out of trouble." She patted her stomach, "That's how we got both of our children, by his charming his way back into my good graces."  
  
"You have two children?" Buffy asked.  
  
"This one and then one at home," Meg explained. "Our son, Jamie is five."  
  
"This is my first," Buffy said.  
  
Meg nodded, "I noticed that you were the only first time mother here."  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. It bothered her a little that she was the youngest one in the class but she was used to being the odd one out. She glanced back over to where Spike was talking with Mark. She wondered what they were saying.  
  
"So how did you get the nickname, Spike?" Mark asked Spike.  
  
"Uh," Spike tried to think of something that would be believed and that Buffy wouldn't stake him for saying. "It goes back to when I was much younger."  
  
"Childhood nickname?"  
  
"Right," Spike said. "I used to play with rail-road spikes." He grinned. "Had a lot of fun with those things."  
  
Mark smiled back, "I used to play by the tracks myself, wanted to hop a boxcar and ride the rails."  
  
"Not that much fun," Spike advised. He and Dru had rode the rails with Darla during WW II. They'd fed off of passengers and dodged Nazis whenever possible. It had not been the most enjoyable experience of his unlife. "Tried it, wouldn't recommend it."  
  
"Glad I didn't try it then and if I tried it now my wife would kill me. That's her over there, talking with your." He gestured to where Meg was standing with Buffy.  
  
"Buffy," Spike said. He didn't know what Buffy considered him to be and now wasn't the time to start assuming roles.  
  
"Right," Mark said. "She doesn't look too happy with you."  
  
"She's never very happy with me," Spike said. "That's just the way it is."  
  
"What is?" Buffy asked. She and Meg had joined them. "Here," Buffy said, handing him their doll. "I got the right one this time."  
  
"You picked the wrong doll?" Mark asked Spike.  
  
"We're having a boy but he grabbed one of the girl dolls so we could name it after the doll his ex had."  
  
"Hey," Spike protested. "That doll and I understood each other."  
  
"She must have been easier to understand than Drusilla." Buffy snapped. Then she noticed the strange looks that they were getting. "The girl he was with before me was insane and she had this doll."  
  
"Another long story," Spike said. He was trying to think of a more elaborate explanation when the instructor approached them.  
  
"Buffy, you have a phone call," The instructor told them.  
  
Buffy glanced anxiously at Spike and they followed the instructor to the office. Buffy picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"  
  
"Buffy, I'm glad I caught you."  
  
"Willow," Buffy said. "Is everything okay? Did something happen to Dawn?"  
  
"No, no," Willow assured her. "Dawn's fine. I just needed to catch you before you came home."  
  
"Why?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I can't explain right now," Willow said. "All I can tell you is that whatever you do, don't bring Spike home with you tonight."  
  
"What?" Buffy wondered. "Why not?"  
  
"You'll understand when you get here." Willow said. "I have to go. Just remember, keep Spike away from the house tonight."  
  
"Wait, Willow.." Buffy said, but she was too late. Willow had hung up. 


	52. Impossible Possibilities

Chapter Fifty-Two: Impossible Possibilities  
  
"So," Buffy said, in the car as they drove home. "Why don't you take me home and then go spend the night at your crypt?"  
  
"Why?" Spike asked curiously.  
  
"Because." Buffy tried to think of a reasonable explanation. She couldn't tell him that Willow had asked her not to bring him home. "Well you and Clem could have a guy's night out, go to Willy's, play kitten poker."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "Mind telling me what's really going on, pet?" She wouldn't have sent him to play kitten poker unless something was up. He'd had to, with Dawn's help, sneak out of the house everytime he'd wanted a game. She hadn't liked him playing with kittens ever since that first time he'd taken her with him.  
  
"Nothing," Buffy lied. "I just thought that after class you'd want to go out and do some guy stuff." She knew that she had just blown it. Her words sounded lame even to her.  
  
"Sure," Spike said. "Now is there something you want to tell me, luv? Maybe something about Red's call?"  
  
"Willow just called to ask me something," Buffy said.  
  
"Fine," Spike said dryly. "Red just called to ask you something and now you want me to go out and win a few kittens."  
  
"Yes," Buffy said.  
  
"Sorry luv, I'm not that thick. Now what's going on?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. She wasn't fooling him so she might as well admit what was going on. "Willow just said not to bring you home tonight."  
  
"The witch tell you why?" Spike asked.  
  
"No," Buffy admitted. "But will you just go along with it? Go to your crypt for the night."  
  
"No," Spike said flatly. "Did it occur to you that this whole thing could be a bloody set-up?"  
  
Willow would have said something," Buffy insisted. "She would have thought of a way to warn me."  
  
"What if she couldn't?" Spike asked. "What if you're walking into a trap and I'm not there to help you?"  
  
"It's not a trap," Buffy insisted. "Willow didn't sound upset on the phone. Maybe she just wants to have a girl's night out." Buffy looked around. They were almost to the house and she had to persuade Spike not to come in with her. Willow hadn't sounded panicked or even upset on the phone. There was nothing wrong at home. Then an idea occurred to her, "Why don't I send Willow over as soon as I know what's going on," Buffy suggested. "She can let you know what's happening and if she doesn't show than you'll know if we're in trouble." Spike started to protest but Buffy stopped him by saying, "Take it or you'll have the first shift with our doll."  
  
Spike grumbled but didn't protest. He was not showing up at Willy's or any other demon hang out with a doll that really cried. He was already a joke among demons. He didn't need to give them anymore ammunition. "Fine but if Red doesn't show by midnight then nothing's going to keep me away."  
  
"Fine," Buffy snapped back. They were at the house. Spike parked the car and they both got out. "Stay at the crypt until Willow gets there." She watched him storm off, then she turned and headed up to the house, wondering who or what she would find when she opened the door.  
  
"I'm home," She called, walking through the door. She barely had time to close the door before Willow cornered her in the entryway and prevented her from seeing into the living room.  
  
"Where's Spike?" Willow asked quietly, looking around for the bleached- blond vampire.  
  
"I sent him to his crypt," Buffy explained. "But you have to go and tell him what's going on. So what is going on?"  
  
"Um.." Willow looked around. "Right after you guys left they showed up."  
  
"Who?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow didn't get a chance to answer because another figure joined them. Buffy gasped at who it was, "Riley."  
  
"Hi Buffy," Riley said. "How've you been?"  
  
Buffy stared at him for a minute, not sure if she wanted to hug him or slug him She did neither, she just asked, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"It's nice to see you too," Riley said, amused.  
  
"I mean," Buffy tried to say. "Why are you here? Last time I saw you."  
  
"Yeah," Riley said. "A lot's changed since then." He looked at her stomach. "For both of us."  
  
"Yeah," Buffy agreed. This must have been why Willow had called. If Riley had seen her and Spike together it would have resulted in a dusty ending for Spike.  
  
"Come on," Riley said. "There's someone I want you to meet." They went into the living room. Dawn was sitting on a chair and an attractive woman stood up as soon as Riley, Willow and Buffy came into the living room. "Sam, this is Buffy. Buffy, this is my wife, Sam."  
  
"It's nice to meet you," Sam said.  
  
Buffy nodded and then glanced at Riley. He had gotten married. When had that happened? She knew that she was in no position to judge, though. She was having a child with a vampire, a vampire that Riley especially hated.  
  
Riley sat down next to his wife and Willow joined them on the couch. Buffy sat down in another chair and put the doll she had been carrying on an endtable. She hoped that it wouldn't start crying. The last thing she needed right now was having to explain what she was doing with it.  
  
Tara came in with a tray of drinks and some chips. She set them down on the coffee table and sat down on the desk chair.  
  
"So how long have you been married?" Buffy asked. It was the only thing she could think of to say.  
  
"Three months," Sam said.  
  
"Wow," Willow said. "Three months, you beat Xander and Anya."  
  
"They're married," Riley said, surprised. "When did that happen?"  
  
"A few months ago," Tara said.  
  
Riley shook his head, "A lot's changed since I left." His face turned solemn, "I was sorry to hear about your mom."  
  
"Thank you," Buffy said. There was a silence and then she said, "So what brings you guys to Sunnydale?"  
  
"Business," Riley said. "The Initiative sent us."  
  
"You're part of the Initiative too?" Buffy asked Sam.  
  
"That's how we met," Sam explained.  
  
"Why did they send you here?" Willow asked.  
  
"There's been a lot of extra demon activity around here lately," Sam explained. "The Initiative wants to find out why. They knew that Riley had contacts here so they sent us to find out what's going on."  
  
"You mean me?" Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah," Riley admitted. "They're really concerned about all the demons that have been flocking here. They think that something's happening, something big and they want to know if you know anything and how to stop it."  
  
Buffy glanced at Willow and Tara. The Initiative must have heard about Drusilla's army. The interest in her army must be great.  
  
"You know something," Sam said. "I can tell. So what's going on?"  
  
"I'm not sure," Buffy stalled. "Not first hand anyway."  
  
"You haven't noticed the increase in demon activity?" Riley asked.  
  
"We've noticed," Willow said. "But there's nothing we can do about it now."  
  
"Why?" Riley wondered. "How do you know that?"  
  
"Um.." Willow tried to think of a reasonable explanation but she was saved by the electronic cries of Buffy's doll.  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. She picked up the doll and inserted the key in its back and it stopped crying.  
  
"What's that?" Willow asked.  
  
"I know," Dawn said. "They use those in health class to show us what it's really like to have a baby."  
  
"That's why we got them," Buffy explained. "It's a kind of preparation thing."  
  
"I hope you don't wreck it like you did your egg," Dawn said.  
  
"That was different," Buffy said. "Those eggs were demons."  
  
"So what does." Dawn almost said Spike but she quickly covered, "Do you think about having to take care of this doll."  
  
Buffy shrugged, "We might as well get some practice being parents. We both need it." Dawn nodded. Buffy was right about that. Spike and Buffy may have helped raise their siblings but neither one of them had any experience in taking care of a baby.  
  
Riley, who had been silent ever since the doll had started crying, spoke up, "Buffy, who is the father of your baby?" He looked around, "And where is he anyway?"  
  
Meanwhile:  
  
After leaving Buffy at the house Spike stormed towards his crypt. He didn't like leaving her there, going into something blind. He was tempted to watch through the windows but decided not to. If it came down to it, Red and Glinda could handle anything and if Red was even one minute late then he was going to the house, no matter what Buffy had said.  
  
Spike didn't even bother to knock when he threw open the door to the crypt, a decision that he instantly regretted.  
  
Clem and someone Spike couldn't see were in the bed that had been set up in the upper level of the crypt. Clem looked up when Spike entered while his guest pulled the covers over her head.  
  
"Hi," Spike said, amused. "I'm not interrupting something, am I?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" Clem asked.  
  
"Been banned from the house for the evening," Spike said. "Thought I'd hang out here." He sat down on the couch. "You two just continue on with what you're doing." Spike watched Clem and his companion quietly talk.  
  
Clem quickly dressed and got out of bed while his friend remained hidden under the covers. "Who's your friend?" Spike asked.  
  
"None of your business," Clem snapped, annoyed at being interrupted.  
  
"Oh come on," Spike said, clearly enjoying himself. "Who is she? Anyone I know?"  
  
The figure in bed sat up, hugging the sheets to her chest, "Oh yes, William, you and I go way back." 


	53. The World Is Upside Down

Chapter Fifty-Three: The World is Upside Down  
  
Willow glanced at Buffy. She had the deer in the head lights look on her face so Willow decided to try and help out. She stood up and said, "Anyone want cookies?"  
  
Her distraction didn't work. Riley persisted, "Buffy, who's the father of your baby?" He grinned, "Come on, I introduced you to the woman who captured my heart. I want to meet the guy who captured yours."  
  
Buffy tried to think of a reasonable explanation. She couldn't tell Riley the truth but she wasn't sure what would be the most believable lie. She could tell him the truth, no one would believe her anyway. Angel and Spike had been the only vampires recorded who had been able to have children.  
  
"Buffy?" Riley asked, concerned by her silence. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Uh.." Buffy tried to think of what to tell him, that he would believe and that would keep Spike alive. She was still thinking when she heard the ringing of the phone.  
  
"That's mine," Sam said. She pulled out a cell phone, listened to what the caller had to say and then hung up. She looked at everyone in the living room and said, "That was the Initiative. They had some information for us on why the demons are gathering here."  
  
"What did they say?" Riley asked.  
  
"They have the name of the person who's calling all the demons." She shrugged, "That's all they had, just the name."  
  
"That's something," Riley said. "If we know who's calling the demons than we might be able to figure out why and how to stop him."  
  
"Her," Sam said. "At least that's what I'm guessing. The name they gave me is Drusilla."  
  
Riley looked thoughtful, "That name sounds familiar. I can't remember where I heard it."  
  
Buffy searched her brain frantically, trying to remember if she'd ever told Riley about Drusilla. She didn't think she had but if Riley had ever done any kind of research about Spike then information about Drusilla had to be there.  
  
"Does the name Drusilla mean anything to you?" Sam asked.  
  
"No," Buffy lied. "The name doesn't ring any bells."  
  
"Too bad," Riley said. "But at least we have a name to start with." He looked at Buffy, "Do you think Giles would mind if we searched through some of his books? He might know something we don't."  
  
"Ah.." Buffy said, back on firmer ground. "He left town a few months ago."  
  
Riley looked surprised, "He did? Why?"  
  
"He thought that it would be easier for me to stand on my own if he was gone," Buffy said. "He came back for Xander and Anya's wedding and he promised to come back when the baby is born too." She mentally kicked herself for mentioning her baby. She had been trying to steer Riley away from any mention of her baby. That way he wouldn't ask any questions about who the father was.  
  
"Did he leave anything we can use?" Riley asked.  
  
Willow nodded, "We use all the Magic Box books for research plus Giles left some things for us."  
  
"Can we start tonight?" Riley asked. "The sooner we find out what this Drusilla's up to the better."  
  
"I guess we can," Willow said. She didn't see the murderous looks Buffy was shooting in her direction. "We can have Anya and Xander meet us there."  
  
Buffy stood up as quickly as her stomach would let her, "Willow, kitchen now." She turned and went to the kitchen, Willow close behind her.  
  
"What?" Willow asked once they were alone.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Buffy asked. "If Riley and his new.wife research Drusilla with Giles's things, which are full of notes about her, than he is going to find out about Dru and Spike. And that is going to lead him straight to Spike and then Riley is going to ask a lot more questions that I don't feel like answering right now."  
  
"Well even if Riley finds out about Spike and Drusilla, that won't make him think that Spike's the father of your baby."  
  
"Want to say that a little louder," Buffy snapped. "I don't think they heard you in England." She lowered her voice, "If Spike and Riley get into the same room together." She shook her head, "Riley will find out and than what will happen?"  
  
Willow nodded, "Gottcha, so what do we do?"  
  
"Stall," Buffy said. "Make them wait until morning. By then we'll have hidden Giles's files on Drusilla and Spike."  
  
"How will we do that?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. Someone was going to have to go to Spike's crypt and let him know that everything was fine. Plus someone was going to have to go to the Magic Box and get those files. She looked back at Willow, "Get rid of Riley and. whats her name. Have Tara stay with Dawn, you go to the Magic Box and get those files."  
  
"What about you?" Willow asked.  
  
"I'm going to Spike's crypt," Buffy said. "I told him that I'd send you but if he finds out that Riley's here," She shook her head and sighed tiredly, "I'm not in the mood for what will happen when Riley and Spike see each other." She headed for the door.  
  
"Wait," Willow called. "What do I tell Riley and Sam?  
  
"You'll think of something," Buffy said as she left.  
  
"Great," Willow said. She took a deep breath and went into the living room.  
  
"Where's Buffy?" Riley asked.  
  
"Ah." Willow fumbled for a minute and then blurted out, "Buffy's really tired so she's going to bed. She said to tell you that we'd meet at the Magic Box tomorrow and see what we can find."  
  
"Is she okay?" Riley asked.  
  
"Oh she's fine," Willow said. "She just gets tired a lot lately, you know, with the baby and all."  
  
"Yeah," Riley said, slowly. "Willow, who's the father of Buffy's baby?"  
  
Willow tried to think of an answer but was unable to. Fortunately Tara came to her rescue, "Why don't you ask Buffy about it tomorrow."  
  
Riley started to speak but Sam took his arm, "Okay, we'll meet you tomorrow morning." She looked around, "It was nice meeting you all." And then they left.  
  
"Whew," Willow said.  
  
"What was that all about?" Tara asked. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"She went to Spike's crypt." Willow explained. "She wants you to stay here with Dawn and me to go to the Magic Box and get all of Giles's files on Spike and Drusilla."  
  
"Why?" Dawn asked.  
  
"So that Riley doesn't find out the connection between Spike and Drusilla."  
  
"That makes no sense," Dawn said flatly.  
  
Willow shrugged, "I think it's the hormones talking. She thinks that if Riley and Spike wind up in the same room together, Riley will find out.."  
  
"Oh." Dawn said, realizing what would happen if Riley found out about Buffy and Spike's relationship and about the baby's paternity.  
  
"Yeah," Willow said. "So let's make sure he doesn't." She grabbed her jacket and hurried out the door.  
  
Meanwhile. back in Spike's crypt  
  
"What the bloody hell?" Spike said as he stared at the figure, unable to believe his eyes.  
  
"Hello William," Halfrek said. "Surprised to see me?"  
  
Spike looked at her and than at Clem, "What the bleeding hell are you doing with this bloody bitch?"  
  
"Leave her alone," Clem defended.  
  
She laughed, slipped out of bed and pulled on a robe. She walked over and kissed Clem on the cheek, "Thanks but I can defend myself against William. I've been doing it for years." She looked at Spike, "What are you doing here? The Slayer kick you out again?"  
  
"My house," Spike pointed out. "I can come here whenever I like. You, on the other hand." He looked at Clem, "What were you thinking?"  
  
"She came here one night looking for you and we started talking and.." He shrugged as if to say the rest was history.  
  
"Do you know who this bitch is?" Spike asked. "Who is she really is?"  
  
"Yes he does," Halfrek said. "He knows that whole sordid story."  
  
"So you know what a bitch she was and still is," Spike asked Clem.  
  
"Hey," Clem said. "Just because you have issues."  
  
"Are you out of your bleeding mind?" Spike asked. "She makes a living torturing men.."  
  
"Actually I usually stick to bad parents," Halfrek reminded him.  
  
Spike continued on as if he hadn't heard her, "And you're dating her? One fight and you'll spend eternity trapped in here."  
  
"I can't perform my own vengeance," Halfrek said. "And who are you to talk? You're the laughing stock of the entire demon world, the vampire who's not only sleeping with but also having a child with a Slayer."  
  
"That's different," Spike snapped.  
  
"Right," Halfrek said, annoyed.  
  
Spike started to speak but Clem interrupted him, "Alright, break it up you two." He looked at Spike, "You know about us. I'm sorry you found out this way but hey, at least you know now."  
  
Spike groaned, "Fine but don't come running to me when you make her mad and she turns you into a worm."  
  
"Who's going to get turned into a worm?" said a voice from the doorway. They all turned and saw Buffy walk into the crypt. She looked around at everyone standing around. "What's going on here?"  
  
"Clem's shacking up with Cecily here," Spike said.  
  
"Really," Buffy said. "Congratulations."  
  
"Thanks," Hallie said.  
  
"We hope you'll be very happy together," Spike said sarcastically. Then he directed his attention to Buffy, "What are you doing here? I thought the witch was going to come."  
  
"She had something else to take care of," Buffy explained. "So I came to let you know that everything's fine."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "So what were you doing wondering out at night? What if you'd run into some kind of demon or vamp?"  
  
"I can still fight," Buffy said. "I'm pregnant, not helpless."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "Yeah you can take on a whole nest of vamps all by yourself, sure. So, what did Red want? Why was I banished to the crypt?"  
  
"It's not important," Buffy said. "But you still have to stay here, all the time."  
  
"What?" Spike asked.  
  
"I mean you can't leave here," She couldn't take the chance that he would run into Riley so that meant that he had to stay at the crypt until Riley and his wife left.  
  
"Sorry luv," Spike said. "Wrong answer, now you're going to tell me exactly what is going on."  
  
"No," Buffy said. "Look there is nothing wrong. I just need you to trust me and stay out of sight for a few days."  
  
Spike looked over at Halfrek and Clem, "Can you two love birds fly away?"  
  
Clem nodded and he and Halfrek went down to the lower levels of the crypt. Spike waited until he could hear them walking away through the underground tunnels before turning back to Buffy, "Now enough stalling, what don't you want me to know?"  
  
Buffy studied him for a minute and then walked over to Spike. She put her arms around his neck and said, in a low voice, "Why don't we talk about that later? After we.." She leaned over and whispered her suggestion in his ear.  
  
Spike stared at her, "That's really not fair." Then he mentally shrugged. How often was he going to get an opportunity like this? He might as well take it. He pulled Buffy to him and ground his lips on hers.  
  
Hours later Spike and Buffy finally paused long enough to come up for air. They were lying on the floor. They had been reluctant to use the bed that Clem and Hallie had recently vacated.  
  
"So what brought this on?" Spike asked. "Not that I'm complaining but I know a good stall tactic when I see one."  
  
"I'm not stalling," Buffy lied. "I just wanted to try something new."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "You and I just did something that the bloody writer of the Kama Sutra wouldn't even try. Now you wouldn't have suggested that we do what we just did without a reason so what is it?"  
  
"Hormones," Buffy said, trying again to distract him. "If you want to blame someone for what just happened then blame your son."  
  
Spike grinned and touched Buffy's stomach, "Remind me to thank him when he's born." He rolled over and lay on his back. Then something caught his attention. He sat up, "Bloody hell."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked. She lifted her head and gasped, "Riley." 


	54. All The Words We Don't Want to Hear

Chapter Fifty-Four: All The Words We Don't Want to Hear  
  
"Riley," Buffy gasped again, sitting up and pulling the sheets up to her chest. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Riley didn't say anything. He just stared at Buffy and Spike with a blank face.  
  
"Well well," Spike said, unable to keep the grin off his face. "Captain Cardboard, welcome back. Long time no see."  
  
"Shut up," Buffy said, through gritted teeth. She looked at Riley, "Riley, I can explain."  
  
"I think I can figure it out," Riley said.  
  
"So what brings you back to ole Sunny D?" Spike asked. "Did you miss those vampire tarts? Well not to worry, I hear they've set up show in a warehouse downtown. I'll give you the address."  
  
"Spike," Buffy whispered in a voice low enough for only Spike to hear. "Shut up or I will make your son an orphan." She raised her voice, "Riley.."  
  
Riley shook his head, "Don't bother trying to explain." He grabbed Buffy's shirt from where it had landed and threw it to her. "Just get dressed. We have a lot to talk about."  
  
Spike wisely kept his mouth shut as he pulled on his jeans. Buffy quickly found her clothes and dressed. Once they both had their clothes on Riley walked over to the crypt's door and opened it. Sam walked in and joined them.  
  
"How did you know I was here?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It wasn't too hard," Riley said. "We went down to the demon bars. All I had to do was mention Drusilla's name and they talked about her army and how she was recruiting. Then they said that she used to be involved with you, Spike."  
  
"So," Spike said. "We were together for awhile, but that's ancient history."  
  
"Maybe," Riley said. "But I still had to take the chance that you might know something about her."  
  
"And we knew you were here because of this," Sam held up a cassette tape.  
  
"What's that?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It's a recording from the listening devise in your living room," Sam explained.  
  
"You bugged my living room?" Buffy cried. "Are you insane? You had no right to do that."  
  
"We had every right," Sam said. "The Initiative gives us the right to do whatever is necessary to find and stop this demon army."  
  
"And that includes bugging my living room?" Buffy asked, unable to believe at what had just happened. She tried to remember what she'd said and what Willow, Tara and Dawn might have said.  
  
"We knew that you were keeping something from us," Riley said. "If you weren't going to be straight with me than we had to resort to other means."  
  
"Like bugging my house," Buffy repeated. "Did it ever occur to you that I might have told you what you wanted to know? You caught me by surprise. I never expected to see you again."  
  
"Right," Riley said. "You would have told me that you were," He choked out the words, "Sleeping with this.thing." He shook his head, "You know, I knew that things would be different when I came back and that there were things you weren't telling me but this.."  
  
"It's complicated," Buffy said. "A lots happened that you don't know about."  
  
"Nothing is so complicated that can explain you jumping into bed with another vampire," Riley said. "Didn't you learn your lesson the first time around?" He let out an exasperated sound, "Or do you sleep with every vampire who comes around?"  
  
Spike stepped forward, muttering, "This is going to be worth it." Than he reached back and punched Riley in the face.  
  
Both Spike and Riley let out a cry of pain and their respective woman hurried to their sides. They recovered quickly but both held back, "What about the father of your baby, Buffy?" Riley asked angrily. "What does he think about you sleeping with a vampire? Of you exposing his child to this evil thing?"  
  
"He doesn't mind," Spike said. "In fact he gets pretty upset when Buffy doesn't sleep with me."  
  
Both Riley and Sam looked confused while Buffy was reconsidered protecting Spike from Riley. "What are you talking about?" Riley asked.  
  
"Spike," Buffy warned. "Shut up."  
  
"No," Riley said. "I want to hear this. Go on."  
  
"Well it all starts with," Spike glanced at Buffy. "Where does it start luv? When I chained you downstairs, when you jumped me in that warehouse, oh wait, I know, when Glinda did her mojo that made yours truly able to.."  
  
"Shut up," Buffy ordered. Riley looked like he was about to explode and if that happened the odds were good that Spike would wind up as a pile of dust.  
  
"No," Riley said. "Let him continue."  
  
"For someone who's supposed to be this brilliant commando guy, you are incredibly thick," Spike said. "Just think about it."  
  
Riley looked from Spike to Buffy and then back to Spike. His expression changed from confusion to realization to horror as he figured out the final piece of the puzzle, "No," He said. "That's not possible."  
  
"Honey?" Sam said. "What is it?"  
  
"Impossible," Riley said.  
  
"Oh it's possible," Spike said. "We live on the bloody Hellmouth. Strange things happen here."  
  
"How?" Riley asked.  
  
"Why don't you explain it to him, luv," Spike said.  
  
Buffy glared at Spike. He was going to pay for this but there was no way to get out of it. Riley had already figured out the Spike had somehow fathered her baby. She took a deep breath and said, "Riley, there's an explanation."  
  
"For what?" Sam asked, still unsure of what was going on.  
  
"For how a vampire can get a human pregnant," Riley said bitterly.  
  
"What?" Sam gasped, looking at Buffy and Spike. "That's not possible." She looked at her husband, "It's been tried before and we always failed."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"The Initiative has done experiments. One of my friends works in the department that has studied the reproductive organs of vampires. She's done extensive research and has even tried performing in-vitro fertilization with human eggs and vampire sperm. She's never had a success, even when she tried vampire to vampire." She looked at Buffy. "So how were you able to get pregnant?"  
  
"Tara cast a spell," Buffy said. "She was trying to make Spike human but it only worked for a split second and that second was when we were." She trailed off.  
  
Sam studied Buffy, "But still, this is unprecedented, a vampire and a human having a child."  
  
"Spike was human when this baby was conceived," Buffy pointed out. "This baby is completely human."  
  
"But still.." Sam said. "A vampire who could turn human long enough to conceive a child and then turn back into a vampire. Buffy, what spell did Tara use?" She looked at Riley, "Imagine what could be done with that."  
  
"The spell is too complicated and old to be used," Buffy said. "Tara's a powerful witch and she wasn't able to cast the spell and make it stick." She shrugged, "It doesn't matter anyway. There was only one copy of the spell that she used and after she found out that I was pregnant because of it she destroyed it."  
  
"What?" Sam cried. "Doesn't she realize what could be done with that spell?"  
  
"The consequences were too great," Spike said. He looked at Buffy, "There's always consequences with magic and sometimes they're not worth the spell that was cast."  
  
"He's right," Buffy looked startled at what she had just said. "He is once in awhile."  
  
"Thanks luv," Spike said.  
  
"But still," Sam said. "There must be something else, some other reason other than just the right spell cast at the right time."  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. "But that's all it is."  
  
"No," Sam said. "It can't be. The whole molecular structure changes when someone is turned. There had to have been some residual affect when Spike changed from a vampire to a human back to a vampire." She looked at Buffy, "What has your doctor said? Has he found anything unusual about your baby?"  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, her hands going protectively to her stomach. "Do you think something is wrong with my baby?'  
  
Spike glared at both Riley and Sam, then he pulled Buffy away from them. He looked into her eyes and said, "There is nothing wrong with our son, got it? You've been checked out ever way possible and it all came back normal."  
  
"But.." Buffy said.  
  
"No," Spike said, firmly. "Remember, you've seen little Peaches. He's the child of two vampires and he looked like a perfectly normal little human. Of course being raised by Angel could screw anyone up."  
  
"What did you say?" asked Riley, who had been openly listening to the conversation. "A child of two vampires, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Nothing," Buffy said.  
  
"No, I heard him too. Now who are you talking about?" Sam asked.  
  
"Angel okay?" Buffy said in frustration. "Angel and Darla had a son."  
  
"I thought that they were both vampires," Riley said.  
  
"They are," Buffy said. "But there was prophecy, Darla and Angel slept together and before they knew it there was Connor."  
  
"Is he normal?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said, trying to hold onto her temper. "He's a normal, beautiful little boy. He has a soul and everything."  
  
"Where is he now?" Riley asked.  
  
"With his father," Buffy said. She wasn't revealing anything more.  
  
"What about his mother?" Sam asked.  
  
"She's dead," Spike explained. "Here's a tip for your vampire breeding program. Female vampires aren't able to pop out kiddies the normal way. Little Peaches was only born because Darla staked herself."  
  
"But it is possible," Sam said to Riley. "It is possible for vampires to have children and for the children to be human."  
  
"The key is to understanding what happened," Riley said. He looked at Buffy and Spike, "We'll finish this later." Then he and Sam left the crypt.  
  
"What just happened?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I don't know," Spike said. Something wasn't right. Captain and Mrs. Cardboard had been too calm, way too calm. 


	55. What Do I Do Now?

Chapter Fifty-Five: What Do I Do Now?  
  
"Okay," Xander said. "Let me get this straight: Riley and Sam caught you and Spike together, in bed, and then you told him everything? What were you thinking?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said, sitting down at the table in the Magic Box. She and Spike had gone straight there after their confrontation with Riley. The rest of the Scoobies were there. "I don't know how it happened. Part of it he figured out on his own and then before I knew it I had blurted out everything."  
  
"How did he react?" Willow asked. "I mean Spike is still here so he couldn't have gotten too mad."  
  
"That's just it," Buffy said, looking at Spike. They both realized that Riley had been too calm. "He was really calm about that whole thing."  
  
"Too calm for my taste," Spike said. "And too interested in how Angel and yours truly were able to successfully reproduce the old fashioned way."  
  
"The Initiative has been doing experiments with breeding vampires," Buffy explained. "Both vampire to vampire and human to vampire, a friend of Sam's has been working with those experiments and Sam seemed really interested in how I was able to get pregnant."  
  
"Did you tell her about the spell?" Tara asked.  
  
"Yes," Buffy said. "But I told her that you'd destroyed it."  
  
"Can she recreate the spell?" Willow asked.  
  
"No," Tara said. "I destroyed all traces of it. I don't even remember exactly how I was able to cast it. It took months for me to make it work for the few seconds that I did."  
  
"Well it did its job," Buffy said. "And now the Initiative is going to try and figure out how."  
  
"What do you think they're going to do?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe they'll keep quiet," Buffy said. "They might decide not to tell the Initiative about the baby."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "Captain Cardboard is not likely to keep secrets from his precious government and Mrs. Cardboard is definitely going to tell all to her little government friends."  
  
"They wouldn't do that," Buffy said.  
  
"Right," Spike said. "And they wouldn't bug your house either."  
  
"They bugged the house?" Willow asked.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "That's how Riley knew where to find me."  
  
"Do you know were he put the bugs?" Tara asked.  
  
"I'll do the extermination tonight," Spike said. "Shouldn't be too hard to hear the little things transmitting."  
  
"Fine, but what do we do next?" Dawn asked. "What if they decide to go after your baby?'  
  
"They can try," Spike said. "But I'll kill them first."  
  
"You'll try," Xander corrected. "But the migraine will get in your way."  
  
Spike retort was interrupted by the electronic cries that came from the table. He rolled his eyes and looked over at the doll. Dawn had brought it with her, claiming that she didn't want them to flunk their class. Both Buffy and Spike stared at the doll and then looked at each other, wanting the other one to deal with the doll.  
  
"Oh for crying out loud," Anya said. She walked over, picked up the doll and inserted the key in its back. "There," She said, holding the doll. "It isn't that hard. What are you two going to do when it's the real thing?  
  
"It's not the real thing," Buffy pointed out. "A doll who cries is a lot different than a real baby."  
  
Anya looked at the doll and said, "I don't know. He seems like the real thing." She glanced at Xander, "I want one."  
  
"Sure," Spike said. "They make those dolls by the dozen. You can even have that one."  
  
"No," Anya said. "This one is cute and does resemble a baby but I want a real one. One that arrives after a night of sex, nine months of gestation and hours of painful, excruciating labor."  
  
"Ah could you not mention the hours of labor part?" Buffy asked, wincing.  
  
"And the part about wanting a real baby," Xander added. "We've talked about this. We're not ready to start a family yet."  
  
"No," Anya corrected. "You're not ready so that means I'm not either."  
  
"We're both not," Xander insisted. "Come on, you and I know we're not ready to have kids. The only reason you want to have them is because Buffy and Spike are having on and you think that we're in some kind of competition." Anya started to protest but Xander continued. "Look if you want to have something to take care of then we'll get a dog."  
  
Anya stared at him for a minute. Then she handed the doll to Spike and stormed off to the back of the store. They could hear the sounds of her slamming merchandise around. Spike was the first one to speak up.  
  
"Good one, monkey boy," Spike said.  
  
Xander glared at Spike, "Stay out of this."  
  
"What?" Spike said. "I'm not the one who just insulted his wife."  
  
"She'll be fine," Xander said. "Now can we get back to the real problem, what the Initiative is going to do about Buffy's baby."  
  
Buffy's hands went to her stomach, in a protective gesture, "If they even think about touching my baby they'll regret it."  
  
"They won't," Spike said. He tilted Buffy's head so that he could look into her eyes. "Anyone tries to lay a hand on our son.." Spike knew he might not be able to fight any member of the Initiative himself but he knew demons. Several demons owed him favors and he knew other demons that would love a chance to get back at the Initiative.  
  
"Right," Willow said, putting on her resolve face. "Anyone goes after you."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said. She was grateful for her friends' help but she knew that she and her son were in very real danger. Cordelia had told her everything that that law firm in L.A. had wanted to do to Darla and Connor when he was born. And from what she knew about the Initiative when they wanted something done she didn't expect them to be as civilized.  
  
Buffy stood up abruptly, turned and walked into the training room. She didn't want to have to listen to her friends tell her that everything would be okay and that her son would be safe. She knew, and she suspected Spike knew too, exactly what kind of danger she was in and that as much as her friend wanted to help they really couldn't.  
  
She sat down on one of training mats and shut her eyes, exhausted and drained from the events of the night before.  
  
"You okay luv?" Spike asked, coming into the training room.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and nodded, "Yeah, just tired."  
  
"Guess I wore you out last night," Spike grinned, sitting down next to her. She leaned again him and he said, "Of course it was your idea." He looked down at her, "Where did you find out about that anyway?'  
  
"Research," Buffy admitted. "I found a book in the restricted section of the store. I was about halfway through before I realized what it really was but some of the images stayed with me."  
  
"Should find that book," Spike said. "Could learn a few things."  
  
"You do that," Buffy yawned.  
  
Spike's look turned from one of amusement to concern, "Why don't you get some sleep, pet? Your mates can manage by themselves for a bit."  
  
Buffy started to protest but than stopped. She was too tired to argue and if she didn't get some rest it would affect both her and the baby's health. She shifted position so that she was using Spike's lap as a pillow and shut her eyes. Soon she was sound asleep.  
  
Spike waited until he was sure that she was asleep, then he carefully stood up, placing his duster over her before he went back to the main area of the store.  
  
"Buffy okay?" Willow asked Spike.  
  
Spike nodded, "Just tired." He looked around, "So, when do we go kill something?"  
  
"We're not killing anything," Willow said. "We don't even know if the Initiative is going to go after Buffy."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "You didn't see Mrs. Cardboard's face when she realized that there was a spell out there to make vamps human. She's going to want to find out exactly what happened."  
  
"Wouldn't she go after Tara if she just wants the spell?" Anya asked. She had returned from the back of the store. It was obvious that she was still mad at Xander but she felt a little better after smashing a few urns.  
  
"Possible," Spike admitted. "But I think they're more interested in the result of the spell, especially since Glinda burned it."  
  
Willow moved closer to Tara and said, "Could they try and pull the spell out of Tara's mind?"  
  
"No," Tara said. "I did a spell on myself to completely erase the spell from my mind. There's no way that the can retrieve it." Everyone stared at her, shocked. They all knew how Tara felt about mind spell. "It was my choice to alter my memory and it was only any recollection of how to do the spell that I erased."  
  
"So they won't go after you, baby?" Willow asked.  
  
"No," Tara said. "I don't have anything they can use."  
  
"But Buffy does," Xander pointed out.  
  
"That's why we have to figure out exactly what the Initiative wants," Dawn said. She'd been working on the computer. Willow had taught her how to hack into files and Dawn was trying to access the Initiative's files. She typed a few keys, "There, got it!"  
  
"What did you find, Bit?" Spike asked.  
  
"The Initiative's main computer," Dawn said, proudly. She read a few lines and then exclaimed, "Hey their new base is in L.A." She clicked on a link and then suddenly the screen went blank. "Hey," She cried. "What happened?"  
  
"Security," said a voice from the doorway. Everyone turned and saw Riley and Sam. "The Initiative's computer is programmed to shut down whenever they're visited by any unauthorized person."  
  
"Well well," Spike said. "If it isn't Captain and Mrs. Cardboard, what do we owe the honor of your presence?"  
  
"Save it Spike," Riley snapped. He looked around, "Where's Buffy?  
  
"None of your business," Dawn snapped.  
  
Riley reached down, pulled his gun out of its holster and pointed it at the everyone, "Sorry, but I'm afraid it's been made my business." 


	56. Now I've Lost You

Chapter Fifty-Six: Now I've Lost You  
  
"Uh Riley," Xander stammered, not taking his eyes off the gun in Riley's hand. "Why don't you put the gun down."  
  
"Sorry," Riley said. "Now if we do this right no one will get hurt."  
  
"Forget it," Spike snarled. "If you think you can scare me with that. You should know that a few bullets are only going to piss me off."  
  
"Right," Sam said. "That's why I brought this." She held up a taser, "And I have a whole team outside, ready to move at a moments notice, who won't hesitate to take you all into custody."  
  
"Wha.. What do you want?" Tara stammered.  
  
"Answers," Sam said. She looked around. "Now you guys can make this easy or you can make this hard."  
  
"And what would that be?" Spike asked.  
  
Sam held up a piece of paper, "We have the authority of the government to take Buffy Summers into custody and hold her until further notice."  
  
"Over my dead, well undead body," Spike growled.  
  
"Why do you want to take Buffy?" Anya asked.  
  
"Sorry," Riley said. "That's classified information. Now where is she?" No one answered him. So Riley spoke into his headset, "Move in."  
  
Before anyone could react they were surrounded by men in chamoflauge, all carrying guns.  
  
"Whoa, slow down," Xander said.  
  
"I'm sorry," Riley repeated. "It has to be this way."  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Spike asked, looking around and wondering which commando he should take out first.  
  
"We're taking Buffy into custody," Sam explained. "And we have the full authority to do whatever it takes in order to do that."  
  
Riley gestured to his team, "Search the whole place. Check the back room. She uses it to train."  
  
"She's not here," Dawn quickly lied. Everyone turned to look at her. Dawn continued to lie, "She was tired and went home to get some sleep. She's going to come here later."  
  
"She's right," Spike said, jumping right into Dawn's lie. "I dropped her off at the house this morning, right after you guys walked in on us."  
  
Riley shook his head, "Nice try you two but I already sent a team to the house. She's not there."  
  
"She must have left," Willow said. "Maybe she went baby shopping. She doesn't have everything she needs yet."  
  
Sam rolled her eyes, "You guys are terrible liars. Besides we bugged the house, remember? And we've had a team watching the house since we left last night. Buffy hasn't been back there."  
  
One of the commandos reported back to Riley and Sam, "We found her. She's in the back room, sleeping."  
  
"Get her ready for transport," Sam ordered. The commando nodded and headed back towards the training room.  
  
Spike vamped out, growled and lunged at the commando that had told Riley and Sam where Buffy was. His hands were reaching for the commando's neck. He almost had him when the chip kicked in and he grabbed his head in pain.  
  
"Not so tough with that chip, are you," Riley taunted.  
  
"No, but I am," Xander said. He grabbed the commando that Spike had attacked and had him unconscious within seconds.  
  
Everyone stared at Xander, shocked. Anya was the first to find her voice, "I have never wanted to have sex with you more than right now."  
  
Xander shot a smug look at Sam and Riley, "I've had a little commando training myself."  
  
"Right," Sam said. "I heard about your possession years ago." She sighed, "Look we tried doing this the easy way but you've left us no choice." She gestured to one of her men.  
  
He walked over to Spike, holding a taser, and electrocuted him until he was unconscious. Dawn started forward but Tara grabbed her and held her back.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Dawn cried, looking at Spike lying unconscious on the floor. "This isn't some mission you're on. This is Buffy. Remember? You loved her. You were our friend. How can you do this to her, to us?"  
  
For a second Riley looked torn but he shot a look at Sam and his resolve hardened. "I'm sorry," Riley said again. "But it has to be this way."  
  
A commando came out of the training word, carrying an unconscious Buffy. "What did you do to her?" Willow asked, angrily.  
  
"Just a mild sedative," Sam said, trying to assure the worried group. "She'll be safe for transport until we get her to a safe place."  
  
"Here's a safe place," Dawn said. She looked at Riley, tearfully, "Please, we just got her back. Don't take her away from us, me. I need her."  
  
Riley's face looked blank, "I have no choice."  
  
"Here's a choice," Tara said angrily. She raised her hands toward Riley, Sam and the commandos, including the one who was holding Buffy. She began to chant a spell.  
  
"Stop," Willow ordered, frantically. Tara stopped and looked at Willow confused. "You can't cast a stunning spell," Willow said. "If that spell is cast on a pregnant woman it'll cause a miscarriage."  
  
Tara lowered her hands and instantly stopped chanting. Xander started forward, ready to attack the soldier who was carrying Buffy.  
  
"I wouldn't do that," Sam said. "You attack him and he drops her, that won't be good for her or her baby." She looked at the Scoobies, at Spike who was still unconscious. Then she looked at the commandos who were armed to the teeth with the latest military technology. "Look you're outnumbered, and out weaponed. If you fight us, you'll be killed. So let us go and no one will get hurt." She gestured to the commando carrying Buffy, "Take her to the van."  
  
"No!" Dawn yelled, lunging forward again. A soldier pointed his gun at Dawn. Tara spun around, clutching Dawn to her.  
  
"No one will get hurt if you cooperate," Riley said. "Buffy will be well cared for where we're taking her."  
  
Everyone watched helplessly as Buffy was carried out of the store. The commandos kept their guns pointed on the Scoobies as they filed out, leaving Riley and Sam alone with them.  
  
"You'll pay for this," Dawn said, tearfully.  
  
Sam didn't say a word. She just turned walked out the door. Riley followed her, turned back and said, "I'm sorry." Then he was gone.  
  
Tara held a sobbing Dawn. . Xander and Willow stared at the door, in shock at what had just happened. Anya looked at Xander, concerned about how close they came to being killed.  
  
Spike opened his eyes, groaned, and said, "Ah my head," He looked up at everyone and said. "What happened?" 


	57. How Will We Ever Get By Without Her?

Chapter Fifty-Seven: How Will We Ever Get By Without Her?  
  
"So what do we do now?" Willow asked.  
  
"We get Buffy back," Dawn said. She was tending to Spike. His head was still hurting from when the chip activated, along with the shocks he'd received. He was also oddly quiet. He hadn't said a word since he'd realized that the Initiative had kidnapped Buffy.  
  
"I know that, Dawnie," Willow said. "But how? We don't even know where they took her."  
  
"Yes, we do," Spike said, startling everyone. "They took her to Los Angeles."  
  
"And you know this how?" Xander asked.  
  
"Think about it, monkey boy," Spike snapped. "Nibblet found their newest base is in L.A. and who's in L.A. that the government wants?"  
  
"Connor," Tara said, realizing what the Initiative was going to do.  
  
"Right," Spike said. "And Glinda gets a prize."  
  
"I'll call Angel and warn him," Willow said, picking up the phone.  
  
"Don't bother," Spike snapped, standing up.  
  
"What?" Willow said, horrified. "You want the Initiative to get Connor too?"  
  
"No," Spike said, irritated. "Soldier boys aren't going to get Little Peaches. I'm going to L.A. myself. I'll warn them in person."  
  
"I'm going with you," Dawn said.  
  
"So am I," Willow said. She looked around and everyone nodded. They were going too.  
  
"No," Spike said. "No one goes."  
  
"Spike, Buffy's our friend and we're not going to just forget about what they're probably doing to her right now. We're going with." Xander said.  
  
"No," Spike said, speaking in a tone reserved for small children. "You're staying here. I'll look up Angel and his crew once I get to L.A. and if I need anything I can ask them."  
  
"Spike, we're not just going to sit around and wait for you to bring Buffy back," Willow insisted.  
  
"You're not going to sit around on your bloody hands," Spike said. "You're staying here because Dru's still building her army and if you don't stop her then Captain Cardboard and his lackeys will be the least of our worries."  
  
"So you want us to stay here and stop Drusilla while you rescue Buffy?" Anya said.  
  
"Another prize goes to the lady there," Spike said. "You people stay here and stop Dru. I get Buffy back and we all live happily ever after."  
  
"If you want us to stop Drusilla than you should stay. You're the one who knows how she thinks," Willow pointed out.  
  
"I don't know how she thinks. No one knows how she thinks. She's insane, remember?" Spike snapped. He looked out the window. If he left now he'd be in L.A. by sundown. Buffy's car had been rigged so that he could drive it in daylight so he'd leave now.  
  
"Can't I come with?" Dawn asked.  
  
"No," Spike said. "Sorry Bit but I need you here to take care of the cats." Dawn nodded. She wasn't happy about being left, though. "If the kittens are born before I get back take them to Clem. He'll make sure they get to the right demons and that you don't get cheated."  
  
"We'll stay with Dawn," Tara said. She didn't like the idea of staying behind but Spike was right. They needed to stop Dru. Tara looked at Willow and shrugged. They'd have to postpone moving into their apartment but this was an emergency situation.  
  
"Call the Watcher too," Spike said. "Get him back here. He might be able to keep you people from killing yourselves while I'm gone."  
  
"I'll call him," Willow promised.  
  
Spike walked over and pulled Dawn into his arms, "It'll be okay, Bit." He stepped back and looked into her eyes. "I won't come back without her."  
  
"Be careful," Dawn ordered him.  
  
"You know me Bit," Spike said.  
  
"Yeah I do," Dawn said. "Be careful."  
  
"Keep in touch," Xander ordered.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. He ignored Xander and said to Dawn, "If you need anything call Angel. He'll know how to get in touch with me." He hated having to have to work with Angel but he'd need someone with resources and Angel had those. Besides Angel's son was in danger too.  
  
Spike looked at Dawn, "Be good Nibblet," He said and then he hurried out the door to Buffy's car, using his duster for protection against the sun.  
  
"We should have gone with him," Willow said. "We could have helped him get Buffy back."  
  
"What about Drusilla's army?" Dawn pointed out. "If we don't stop them, than they're going to open the Hellmouth and then what kind of world will Buffy come back to?"  
  
"How are we going to stop this army?" Anya asked.  
  
No one answered her. They were all thinking the same thing. Buffy, Spike and Giles were all gone and they were left on their own until they returned.  
  
"I'll call Giles," Tara said, breaking the silence. "He might know what to do." She went over to the phone and dialed Giles's number, hoping that he would be there.  
  
Willow looked at one of the Magic Box books. It was opened to a picture of Drusilla. "Maybe we should concentrate on her. If we kill Drusilla than her plans will fall apart. The trio aren't smart enough to pull this off on their own."  
  
"So we go after Drusilla?" Xander said.  
  
"But how are you going to defeat her on your own?" Anya asked.  
  
"We've gone up against her before," Willow defended.  
  
"Yeah," Anya said. "With Buffy's help, she was the one who fought Drusilla, and even Buffy needed Spike's help to beat her."  
  
"Well that was a long time ago," Willow said. "And we're a lot stronger now. We can beat her."  
  
"Sure," Anya said, rolling her eyes. She opened the cash register and began counting her money in an effort to relax.  
  
"We'll beat her," Xander said. "All we need is a stake and she's dust, along with her plans for world domination."  
  
"We just have to find her," Willow said.  
  
"I know," Dawn said. "We can just have someone ask around in the demon bars, act like he's interested in her army or something."  
  
"Who'd do that?" Xander asked. "She knows all of us already."  
  
"But she doesn't know Clem," Dawn pointed out. "We could have him try and find out what he can. I know he'd help."  
  
Willow and Xander exchanged looks, "It might work," Willow said slowly. "He's probably the only one who could blend in enough to find out anything."  
  
"I'll ask him," Dawn said, heading for the door.  
  
"You're not going alone," Tara said. She'd finished talking on the phone with Giles and he was catching the next flight to Sunnydale. "If anything happens to you, Buffy and Spike will never forgive us."  
  
"I'll go with you," Anya offered, surprising everyone by her willingness to leave the store in the middle of the day. "What?" She said, noticing the surprised looks. "I want to talk to Halfrek and she's probably at the crypt too."  
  
"Why would a vengeance demons be at Spike's crypt?" Xander asked.  
  
"Because she's dating Clem," Anya said. "Wait up Dawn," She called after Dawn who was already out the door.  
  
"So," Xander said after Anya left, trying to get the image of Clem and Halfrek together out of his head. "Let's start researching." He opened a book, "Let's make sure that Spike brings Buffy home to a closed Hellmouth." He didn't look at the book, though. Instead he just stared out the door, wondering, like everyone else, when and maybe even if Spike would bring Buffy back home. 


	58. Singing The Song Of Angey Men

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Singing The Song Of Angry Men  
  
Spike looked up at the hotel. So this was where Angel lived now, not quite as homey as his crypt but it seemed like something Angel would prefer. Spike looked at the door, took a deep, unneeded breath and walked through the door.  
  
At first he didn't see anyone in the lobby. Then he spotted a brown-haired girl sitting at the desk, working on a computer. She looked up and smiled when she saw him, "Hi, welcome to Angel Investigations."  
  
"Where's Peaches?" Spike snapped. He didn't have time for pleasantries, not if he was going to get Buffy and their son back.  
  
"What?" Fred asked, confused. "We don't have any peaches here."  
  
"Not those kind," Spike said, impatiently. "Angel, where is he?"  
  
"Spike?" Angel said, coming downstairs, Cordelia behind him. "What are you doing here?" He looked around, "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"Captain Cardboard and his crew grabbed her," Spike said, getting right to the point.  
  
"What?" Angel asked, alarmed. "Why?"  
  
"Because Captain and Mrs. Cardboard found out that yours truly and you were able to reproduce the old fashioned way," Spike said. "So they brought Buffy here to their new club house."  
  
"They want to study her and the baby," Angel said. It wasn't surprising, the only thing that did surprise him was that the government hadn't tried to go after Buffy and her baby before.  
  
Spike nodded, not in the mood for trading barbs with Angel, "And your kid too."  
  
"Connor," Angel said, his mind already filled with images of what could happen to Connor. Wolfram and Hart hadn't tried anything lately and most of the demons that had been after Connor were dead or scared off. This was something new. Now the government was involved. He looked at Cordelia, "Bring him down here."  
  
Cordelia didn't argue. She just ran up the stairs to where Spike assumed Connor was.  
  
"Why are you here, anyway?" Angel asked. "You're warning me that someone's after Connor out of the badness of your heart? Why else are you here?"  
  
Spike gritted his teeth and said, "Because I can't get Buffy out of where ever the government has her by myself. So I thought you might like to help."  
  
"Where do they have her?" Angel asked. He didn't like the idea of having to work with Spike again but if Buffy was in trouble then he would do whatever it took to help her.  
  
"Somewhere in this city," Spike said. "Dawn found their new base is here."  
  
"Could they have moved it?" Angel asked.  
  
Spike shrugged, "Could have but probably not. It's too convenient with," He gestured to Connor, who had just been brought down by Cordelia. "Peaches Jr. right in front of them."  
  
"Where do you think their base is?" Angel asked.  
  
"No idea," Spike looked around. "Anyone here know how to break into high security systems?"  
  
"Fred," Angel said, looking at her. "See if you can hack into the government computers and find out whatever you can about Buffy." He took Connor from Cordelia and said, "Get Wesley and Gunn down here, Lorne too if you can." Cordelia nodded and ran upstairs Angel and Spike didn't say another word to each other until the rest of Angel investigations joined them.  
  
"What's with the Billy Idol wannabe?" Lorne asked as he came down the stairs.  
  
"Hey," Spike snapped. "He got his look from me."  
  
"What are you doing here?" Wesley asked, recognizing Spike.  
  
"Remember that government agency that had its headquarters in Sunnydale?" Angel said. "Well they're based in L.A. now. They found out about Buffy and Connor. They took Buffy and now they're after Connor."  
  
"How did they find out about Connor and Buffy?" Cordelia asked. "The government hasn't bothered us so far about Connor. Why are they starting now?"  
  
Angel looked at Spike, "I was wondering the same thing. How did.." He couldn't remember the name of the guy Buffy had been dating. "Uh Captain Cardboard find out about Connor?"  
  
Spike suddenly felt like he was a fledgling again and he'd botched another kill and was about to be taught a lesson by Angelelus, "He ah overheard Buffy and me talkin' about little Peaches."  
  
"And you told him," Angel said, trying to hold onto his temper. "You told him and now Buffy and our sons are all in danger."  
  
"Well when you put it that way, sure it sounds bad," Spike snapped. "Now are you going to help or should I find someone who will?"  
  
"Alright," Wesley said, deciding to break them up before things got out of hand. "Enough you two."  
  
Angel and Spike glared at each other or a minute before Angel nodded and said, "Fine, let's just get Buffy back, the sooner you leave the better."  
  
"Those two really don't get along, do they?" Fred whispered to Gunn.  
  
"Last time Spike came to town he tortured Angel with pokers and the last time they saw each other Angel saved Spike's life," Gunn told Fred, quietly. "So I think it's one of those love/hate vampire things."  
  
"No," Spike said, hearing Fred and Gun's conversation. "It's one of those hate/hate things that once and a while comes in handy when you need a lot of muscle and little brains."  
  
"You'd have been staked a long time ago without me," Angel said. "And once again I have to clean up another one of your messes." Cordelia took Connor from Angel. Spike and Angel were on the verge of a fight and Cordelia didn't want Connor caught in the middle.  
  
"I survived a century without you," Spike said. "At least I never fed on the wrong girl and got cursed for eternity."  
  
"No, you just got neutered," Angel retorted.  
  
This was too much for Spike. He vamped out and lunged at Angel, who sent Spike flying across the room. Unfortunately it was right into the weapons chest. Spike grabbed the nearest ax and swung it at Angel's head.  
  
"What's the matter Spike?" Angel said, grabbing the ax handle. "Truth hurts, doesn't it."  
  
"No," Spike said, dropping the ax and punching Angel. "This does." He stood over him, "And so does this, I get to sleep with Buffy without going all evil and killing her friends."  
  
That was the breaking point for Angel. He grabbed Spike, threw him on the desk and held a stake over his heart.  
  
This didn't faze Spike. He just laughed and said, "Got to relieve your frustrations in some way, guess you picked Kick the Spike."  
  
"No," Angel said, through gritted teeth. "I picked Kill the Spike."  
  
"Okay, break it up you two," Gunn said, grabbing onto Angel and pulling him back.  
  
Wesley stepped between Angel and Spike and said, "Now that you've got that out of your systems why don't we get down to the reason Spike's here, and that's getting Buffy back and protecting Connor." 


	59. There Is A Life To Save

And just in case I'm not able to post another chapter before the 25: Merry Christmas!  
  
Chapter Fifty-Nine: There Is A Life To Save  
  
"I give them 20 minutes," Gunn said, looking back and forth between Spike and Angel.  
  
"I say ten," Fred said.  
  
"I'll see your ten and lower it to three," Lorne said wanting to get in on the bet.  
  
"Amateurs," Cordelia scoffed. "I say ten seconds, unless one of them mouths off to each other, then I'd only give them five." She looked at the shocked looks around her. "What? I saw them together in Sunnydale and every time they're together it only takes about ten seconds before they try to kill each other."  
  
After Gunn and Wesley had separated Angel and Spike they had been sent to separate corners of the lobby. The distance hadn't stopped them from glaring at each other and neither had Connor's playpen set right in the middle of the lobby. The result was that the staff of Angel Investigations were placing their bets on how long it would be before Angel and Spike got into another fight.  
  
"Any of you lackies find where the government's set up their club house?" Spike snapped.  
  
They looked up guiltily and quickly turned their attention to Fred's computer. She'd managed to hack into the main computer but she didn't dare stay too long in case the government figured out that someone was in their computer and changed everything around again.  
  
"It looks like they change their passwords on the hour," Fred announced. "And are programmed to alert them at the first sign of an unauthorized person."  
  
"Can you get those passwords in advance?" Angel asked.  
  
"I can try," Fred said, typing a few keys.  
  
"Brilliant," Spike snapped. "Once you've figured out how to play with Captain Cardboard's toys, how about you get back to the real reason I came here, which is getting Buffy the bloody hell away from those jokers."  
  
"If we don't break into the computer," Cordelia explained impatiently. "Then we don't find out where they're holding Buffy and then we don't even know where to start looking."  
  
"Then stop taking bets on how long it'll take me to kill Peaches and figure it out." Spike said. He looked around, "I don't even know why I came here. You lot are as useless as the ones I left in Sunny D."  
  
"This lot," Angel said, starting to wish that Spike had never come here. "Is your only chance of getting Buffy and your son back. So I suggest you start showing a little more appreciation."  
  
"For what?" Spike said. "Your lackeys haven't told me anything that I don't already know and.."  
  
"I'd stop right now," Wesley said, calmly. "Or otherwise we might reconsider helping you."  
  
"Right," Spike said. "Like your fearless leader would leave Buffy and miss out on the chance to be her hero."  
  
"I think we'd better get one thing clear," Angel said. "Getting Buffy away from the government is important but protecting Connor is my first priority."  
  
"Typical," Spike spat at Angel. "You always were one to turn on someone in favor of your latest love."  
  
That did it. Angel grabbed Spike by the collar of his duster and dragged him into the office, slammed and locked the door behind them.  
  
"Ten minutes," Fred said, looking at her watch. "Pay up."  
  
"Let's get something straight," Angel said, once they were alone. "I am not turning on anyone. I want Buffy back as much as anyone but more than that I have to protect Connor."  
  
"You always turn on the ones you claim to care about, Darla, Drusilla, the cheerleader, me and now Buffy. How long until you turn on Mini-Me? Before or after he hits puberty?"  
  
Angel threw Spike up against the wall, and got right into his face, "Get this through your chipped head, nothing has ever been and will ever be more important than Connor. I would die before I would ever turn on him."  
  
"Right," Spike said, pushing Angel away. "And I should believe anything you say."  
  
"I don't care if you believe me or not," Angel said. "But remember this, getting Buffy back is your first priority, protecting Connor's mine."  
  
"A traitor to the end," Spike said. "I don't know why I even came here."  
  
"Because we're all you've got. Everyone in Sunnydale is busy trying to deal with Dru's mess and you have no where else to turn."  
  
Spike growled and spun away from Angel. Angel was right, Spike had no where else to turn. If he wanted Buffy back then he was going to have to depend on Angel and his mates.  
  
"So what do we do?" Spike asked, still not looking at Angel.  
  
"Fred's working on finding out where they're keeping Buffy," Angel said. "Once we know where she is we can figure out how to get her out of there."  
  
"Should be easy to break in," Spike said. "Esp. if Captain Cardboard's in charge."  
  
"I can't believe he did that to her," Angel said of Riley. "I thought he loved her once."  
  
"Buffy's never had good taste in men," Spike commented. "With the exception of yours truly of course."  
  
"And that's up for debate," Angel said.  
  
"I was there for her when no one else was," Spike snapped. "I've given her what no one else can. What did you ever give her except grief?"  
  
"And what did you ever cause her except trouble?" Angel retorted  
  
"At least I didn't kill and stalk people she loved," Spike pointed out.  
  
"No," Angel countered. "You just stalked her."  
  
"And you never did," Spike taunted. "You never stood outside her house, her window, watching her, knowing what she's like and what you can never have?" He shrugged, "Well you probably could have but then we'd have to deal with Angelus Part III and we all know what happens then."  
  
"Exactly what will happen if you ever get that chip out of your head," Angel pointed out. "That's the only reason you haven't made meals out of every human you've come in contact with and why you haven't tried to kill Buffy."  
  
"News for you, Peaches," Spike said. "I've been able to hit Buffy since she came back."  
  
Angel froze, then he quickly grabbed a stake, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't use this."  
  
Spike shoved the stake away, "Calm down, Peaches. If I'd wanted to hurt Buffy I'd have done it a long time ago and she knows about the chip." He tilted his head, "And the night she found out we brought the house down, literally."  
  
"Spike," Angel said, trying to keep his temper under control. "I am not interested in the details of your.involvement with Buffy and I don't want to know the graphic details."  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows, "I thought you'd want to know."  
  
"And what gave you that idea?" Angel asked.  
  
"I used to hear you and Darla," Spike said. "After you and I would trade women, you'd always ask her what it was like and," He lowered his voice, "Who was the better one. She'd lie and say that it was you. But you and I know different, Darla and Dru may have picked you but when it counted, when it was Buffy, you and I both know who she chose to share her bed."  
  
Angel threw Spike onto the desk and rammed the stake at him, stopping only after he'd drawn blood. Spike laughed and shoved Angel across the room, "Never liked hearing the truth, did you?"  
  
"No more than you liked telling it," Angel said. "And the only time you really told the truth got Buffy kidnapped and put both our sons in danger."  
  
Angel finally hit a nerve with Spike. Spike lunged at Angel, punching him and then throwing him across the room. Angel scrambled to his feet and grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be Wesley's crossbow. Angel pointed it at Spike, "Just give me a reason to use this," Angel snapped.  
  
"You'd never hurt me," Spike said. "You couldn't, even when you were Angelus and you'd never be able to face Buffy if you killed me."  
  
"I'd be setting her free," Angel said. "Free to live a normal life with her child."  
  
"And leave MY son without a father."  
  
Angel and Spike glared at each other, both daring the other to be the next to strike. But before either of them could move the door to the office flew open.  
  
"If you two are done trying to kill each other, maybe you'd like to see what Fred's found," Wesley said. Spike quickly left, eager to see what Fred had done.  
  
Angel and Wesley lingered in the office. Angel slammed the crossbow down on the desk.  
  
"Are you two going to be able to do this?" Wesley asked. "Spike has been here for less than 24 hours and already you've had to be separated twice."  
  
"It won't happen again," Angel said.  
  
"Are you sure?" Wesley wondered.  
  
"Yes," Angel said.  
  
"I hope so," Wesley said. "Because before this is over you and Spike will probably have to work together. Will you be able to do that?"  
  
"I'd do anything to help Buffy and protect Connor," Angel stated.  
  
"Good," Wesley said. He turned to leave, stopped and said, "Try to ignore, Spike. He knows exactly what to say to get a reaction out of you and you don't disappoint him. If you stop trying to kill him then he'll stop it."  
  
"Fine," Angel said. He brushed past Wesley. "I'll remember that when Connor comes to me the first time he deals with a bully."  
  
Wesley followed Angel out of the office, wondering where in his job description did it talk about having to spend half his life keeping Angel and his various family members from killing each other.  
  
Back in the main lobby Fred was printing a document while Spike stood by anxiously. "What did you find?" Angel asked.  
  
"I found the passwords that will let me into their system," Fred said excitedly. She gestured to the pages that were printing. "I got the location and blueprints of their headquarters."  
  
"What about Buffy and Connor?" Angel asked.  
  
"I'm looking," Fred told him. "That's classified information so it'll be harder to find but I think I'm almost there." She typed a few more keys and then said excitedly, "I've found her!"  
  
"What does it say?" Spike asked, anxious for any word on Buffy.  
  
Fred quickly downloaded and printed everything that there was on both Buffy and Connor. Spike grabbed it and began to read.  
  
Buffy was labeled as Subject 21. She was being held in a hospital type room in the heart of the government's lair. She was being monitored around the clock. There was a printout of all the tests that had been performed already, and the results. This was meaningless to Spike but what he was able to decipher was that everything was fine with the baby and he was perfectly normal.  
  
He turned a page, read some more, then stopped and just stared at the document he was holding.  
  
"What does it say?" Angel asked.  
  
Spike didn't answer so Wesley took the paper from him. Wesley quickly scanned it and finally started reading out loud. "Subject 21 began experiencing Braxton-Hicks. Upon examination subject was found to be dilated 1 centimeter. Subject will be given one week to give birth and once deadline has passed a cesarean will be performed. Fetus will be thoroughly examined to determine how it came into being and once determined test subject will," Wesley's voice faltered but he was able to say, "Will be destroyed." 


	60. Tomorrow We'll Discover

I'm so sorry it took so long for this chapter to get posted. My computer crashed and I had to replace my entire hard drive. My stories were lost so I had to do alot of retyping.  
  
Chapter Sixty: Tomorrow We'll Discover  
  
Spike stood still for a minute, trying to absorb what Wesley had said. Then before anyone could react he turned and headed for the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Angel asked.  
  
"Where do you think?" Spike told him. He opened the door and started to walk out.  
  
Angel hurried forward, grabbed Spike and hauled him back inside, "You're not going anywhere." Angel stated.  
  
"You think you're going to stop me?" Spike snarled.  
  
"I have before," Angel pointed out. "And I will again if I have to."  
  
"Are you daft?" Spike asked. "That's Buffy they're talking about."  
  
"I know," Angel said.  
  
"And you're going to just stand by and let them do that to her?" Spike asked.  
  
"No," Angel said. "We'll get her back before they can hurt her or her baby but you storming the government compound isn't the way to do it. You'll just get yourself killed. Then what'll I tell Buffy?"  
  
"I won't get killed," Spike insisted.  
  
"Spike, you'll be attacking an armed governement compound, which is full of humans. You'd last two seconds if you were lucky." Spike didn't answer. He just stared out the door, ready to run the second Angel let go of him. Angel continued, "And then you'll have left Buffy to raise her child on her own."  
  
"Thought that what you wanted," Spike said, bitterly.  
  
"I do," Angel said. "But that's not what she wants. So you're going to stay alive." Spike still refused to look at Angel so Angel grabbed Spike's face and forced him to look at him. "Now either you listen and we do this my way or I'll have everyone over there," He gestured towards the Angel Investigations staff. "Tie you up while we rescue Buffy ourselves."  
  
Spike glared at him. Then h jerked away from Angel and stormed back to the desk, "Fine." He looked at the Angel Investigation staff, who had been watching him and Angel. "Come on people, this isn't a spectator sport."  
  
Angel groaned but nodded. For once Spike was right. They had to figure out how to get Buffy out of that compound and how to make sure the government didn't come after Buffy, her baby or Connor.  
  
"So how you gonna do this?" Gunn asked.  
  
"We have to get someone into their compound," Wesley said. "And that someone has to Buffy out."  
  
"Who's that going to be?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"Someone who'll blend in," Wesley said. He looked at Spike, Angel, Lorne and Cordelia, "That leaves you three out. All of you have some kind of demon in you and Captain Card.." Wesley looked at Spike, "What is his real name?"  
  
Spike thought for a minute. He'd referred to Riley as Captain Cardboard for so long that it took him a minute to remember his real name, "Riley," Spike finally answered, "Riley Finn."  
  
"Right," Wesley answered. "This Finn person will recognize both Angel and Spike and for all we know this agency has a list of all Watchers, both past and present." He looked at Fred and Gunn, "That leaves the two of you."  
  
"I'll go," Gunn instantly offered.  
  
Wesley nodded, "You'd blend in the best among the soldiers. The average recruit for this program is young and male. Women are recruited for their brains, rather than for their muscle."  
  
"Fine," Gunn said. "How do I get in?"  
  
"You won't," Fred said, looking up from her computer. "You might be able to make it in as a soldier but you'd never to up to where they have Buffy. She's in a top security room, the only people allowed contact with her are her doctors. She has guards but they watch the only exit to her room."  
  
"Can't you assign me to watch that door?" Gunn asked.  
  
"No," Fred told him. "I can make an ID for you of a regular soldier but not these guys. They're never replaced and are the top soliders, the best of the best." She typed a few more keys, "I can create an ID that would get a doctor into her but not for a solider."  
  
"If the security for her guards is so tight why not for her doctors too?" Angel asked.  
  
"There's alot of them coming in and out of her room," Fred explained. "It wouldn't be a problem to pretend to be one of them. By the time they noticed we'll have gotten her out."  
  
"Fine," Gunn shrugged. "I'll pretend to be a doctor."  
  
Wesley and Fred exchanged looks. Wesley, "You can't."  
  
"Why not?" Gunn asked.  
  
"Because they're only allowing women doctors to see Buffy," Wesley explained, holding Buffy's file. "According to this they had both male and female doctors examining her and she was uncomfortable with that so they switched her to women doctors."  
  
"And she was probably just as thrilled with that," Spike said. He was given strange looks so he explained. "She's not too fond of doctors or hospitals."  
  
"Well that's obvious from this," Wesley said. "She's being uncooporative with her doctors."  
  
"They want to kill our son," Spike snarled. "You think she's going to help them?"  
  
"No," Wesley said. "But she's also fighting them in other ways, ways that are supposed to help her. She won't take vitamins or eat properly and they only way for them to draw blood or run any other tests was by sedating her."  
  
Spike growled. If they had done anything to hurt Buffy or his son he would take them apart. It might hurt for awhile but once he regained consciousness he'd feel alot better.  
  
Angel saw this, "Don't even think about it."  
  
"Then you and your mates do something," Spike snarled.  
  
"We're working on it," Angel said, his low patience with Spike was almost gone.  
  
"Work harder," Spike snapped.  
  
"We have a plan," Fred said, trying to calm Spike down. "I have an idea of how we can get in."  
  
"What is it?" Spike growled. "You idiots have shown me nothing."  
  
"Hey," Gunn said. "Lay off her."  
  
"I will when one of you gits figures out a workable plan that's going to get Buffy and my son back."  
  
"Spike, will you calm down and let Fred tell you her idea," Angel said.  
  
Spike shut up but Angel could hear him muttering under his breath about how calm Angel would be if something happened to Connor.  
  
"Okay," Fred continued. "I can create a fake identity for myself as one of Buffy's doctors. That should get me in. Then I can make it look like she's scheduled for tests and instead of taking her down to where they're being done I'll take her out of the compoud. Easy." She smiled brightly.  
  
"One little flaw," Spike said. "Won't the hall monitors notice you leaving?"  
  
"No," Fred said. "The only people who even know that Buffy's there are the people involved and they won't be near the exits when they leave." She typed a few more keys and said, "And no one will be watching the doors either."  
  
"You're scary with that thing," Cordelia said.  
  
Fred blushed. Then she noticed Gunn's look, "Don't worry, Charles. I'll be fine getting in."  
  
"It's getting out," Spike commented.  
  
"What's he talking about?" Gunn asked.  
  
"Ignore him," Cordelia advised.  
  
"Fine," Spike snapped. "Ignore me but then don't blame me when Mrs. Gates here gets caught."  
  
"Huh?" Angel asked. "Fred has this whole thing worked out."  
  
"Except the part that once Buffy is out of there, the government will miss her and come straight here. Then what do you hereos plan on doing?" Spike said.  
  
No one had an answer for that. They knew how to get Buffy out of the compound but no one knew how to make sure she stayed out.  
  
Spike waited a minute and said, "If you're all not too high and mighty to listen to me, I have an idea."  
  
"What?" Wesley asked.  
  
"It goes something like this....."  
  
*****  
  
Late that night Spike stood at the window of Angel's bedroom. Angel hadn't wanted to let Spike out of his sight so Spike was staying in Angel's room with Angel and Connor. Everyone else was staying at the hotel. That way they would be able to break into the compound at the right time.  
  
Spike didn't mind the plan but it still had risks and if something went wrong....  
  
Spike's thoughts were interrupted by a soft cooing noise. He looked over and saw Connor sitting up in his crib. He was studying Spike. Spike walked over to the crib and lifted Connor out.  
  
Angel stired in his sleep and Spike froze, knowing exactly what Angel would do if he found Spike holding Connor. But Angel didn't wake up. He just rolled over and continued to sleep.  
  
"Come on," Spike whispered to Connor. He and Connor went down to the deserted loby and sat down on a couch.  
  
"So," Spike said to Connor. "You've grown since the last time I saw you. 'Course then I'd just woken up after being poisoned by our insane..." He thought for a minute, not sure how Drusilla was related to Connor. "Well anyway last time we saw each other I was a little out of it and your dad wouldn't let even look at you." Spike grinned at the baby. "But he's not here now so we can have all the fun we want. So what do you want to do?" Connor gurgled, "Good idea," Spike said. He stood up, went into the office and came back with what he was looking for. "One for you," He handed Connor a bottle of formula. "And one for me," He opened a bottle that he'd found in Wesley's desk drawyer. Spike bounced Connor and said, "Your ex-Watcher has good taste, in scotch that is. He hired your dad so I wonder about his judgement. Oh don't give me that look, lil Peaches. You and I both know what I'm talking about." Connor looked at Spike and then yawned. "Fine," Spike said, "Don't listen to me but wait. You will in a few years."  
  
Connor didn't pay any attention to Spike. He just sucked on his bottle until he drifted off to sleep. Spike took an occasional drink from his bottle but he mostly stared off into space, thinking about Buffy and his son, knowing that there was only one day more until they'd be together again.  
  
Suddenly there was a shout that came from the stairs. Spike looked up and saw Angel and his mates running down the stairs.  
  
"What's going on?" Lorne asked.  
  
"Connor's gone," Angel said, panicked.  
  
"What?" Cordelia said, the same note of terror in her voice. "How?"  
  
"I don't know," Angel said. "He didn't wake up for his 3:00 bottle and when I checked the crib it was empty."  
  
"How could anyone have gotten in and out with Connor?" Wesley asked. "This place is surrounded by protective spells. No one could have gotten in without our knowing it."  
  
"I don't know," Angel growled. "But it's either the government or Wolfram and Hart. And whoever it is is going to die."  
  
"Well they couldn't have left," Wesley said. "Or the alarms would have gone off."  
  
"Then lets search the place," Gunn said.  
  
No one could see Spike and Connor where they were sitting so Spike had just sat and watched the whole drama play out but when everyone grabbed their weapon of choice, Spike decided to let them know what was going on. He stood up, a sleeping Connor in his arms.  
  
"Connor," Angel breathed. He ran forward and snatched the baby out of Spike's arms. Angel looked Connor over, "Are you oay?" Connor opened his eyes, smiled and went right back to sleep. Once Angel was satisfied that his son was fine he turned his anger on Spike, "What were you doing with him?"  
  
"He woke up. I brought him down here and we had a drink," Spike snapped. "The little nipper's fine, no harm done. In fact, I did you a favor."  
  
"What?" Angel growled.  
  
"Showed how easy it would be for someone to walk in and take that kid out of your room. Personally I have nothing against Peaches Jr. but someone else might."  
  
Angel didn't have an answer. He knew that Spike was right. Someone worse than Spike might have come in and hurt Connor just as easily. Angel had to be more carefull, especially now.  
  
"Now that that's over," Cordelia said, yawning. "I'm going to back to bed."  
  
"Why bother?" Spike said, gesturing to a window. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon.  
  
Spike looked out the window. In a few hours Fred would be leaving to rescue Buffy and if at the end of the day Buffy wasn't back with him than the government and especially Captain and Mrs. Cardboard would find out exactly wy he'd taken on the name Spike. 


	61. I Want To Go Home

Chapter Sixty-One: I Want To Go Home  
  
Buffy stared at the ceiling, thinking for the millionth time how bored she was. She was used to activity, to doing, instead of just sitting around. Buffy sighed and glanced at the call button that was right next to her bed. She knew that if she pressed it a doctor would come and that if she asked she would be allowed to take a walk in down the hall.  
  
Her so called doctors had been encouraging her to do as much walking as possible. When she'd asked why they had told her that walking might help induce labor. That had been a mistake telling her that. She hadn't set foot out of bed, except to use the bathroom. She was not doing anything that might help them. She knew that they were planning to take her baby away from her as soon as he was born and do who knows what to both of them.  
  
The baby, sensing her thoughts, kicked hard. Buffy smiled and stroked her stomach, "It's okay, we'll get out of here before they can hurt either one of us." She just didn't know how. Right after she'd realized where she was and what they were going to do, she'd tried to escape but she had barely gotten out of her room when she'd been caught. The result was that she'd been chained to her bed and drugged. That had been when the majority of the tests had been performed. Once Buffy had managed to shake off her stupor she'd refused all tests. The chains had been taken off in an attempt to get her to cooportate but she had refused to let them touch her.  
  
A sudden tightening of her abdominal muscles made her wince. She rubbed her stomach and took deep breaths while she waited for it to pass. She knew that they were just Braxton-Hicks, false labor, but they had scared her when she'd first felt them. That had been the only reason she'd allowed a doctor to look at her. They'd assured her that everything was normal but that all signs pointed to her giving birth in the next few weeks. That mean that she didn't have much time for her friends to figure out a rescue plan. If they were even able to.  
  
Buffy sighed and rolled over onto her side, adjusting the monitors so that they wouldn't go off. She wondered if her friends were okay. She'd asked her doctors if her friends had been hurt. They had said that they didn't know but Buffy didn't believe them. Her doctors had to know everything that was going on. They would know if her friends were alright. They just weren't saying. Buffy knew that her doctors figured if she thought she had been adandoned and was on her own, she'd cooperate better.  
  
"But they don't know your daddy, do they," Buffy said to her baby. She knew that only death would keep Spike from rescuing her and the baby. She just hoped that Spike would show up sooner rather than later. This mess with the government hadn't made her forget what was going on in Sunnydale. By now Drusilla's army would be ready to attack and Dru and the Trio were probably ready to open the Hellmouth.  
  
Buffy shook her head. She was starting to depress herself with all her worries. Plus she was hooked up to machines that monitored her heartrate, as well as a fetal monitor. Any change in her or the baby's heartbeats and doctors would instantly appear. Buffy wanted avoid this so she forced herself to think of other things so she wouldn't bring on any more stress. She looked around the room for something to do but there was nothing. Her guards had been given orders not to let her have anything. There was no TV in the room and anything the could possible be used as a weapon had been romoved. All that was in Buffy's room was a hospital bed and monitoring equipment. The room was even searched to make sure that Buffy wasn't working on something to help her escape. She knew that Riley must have told them how resourcefull she could be. Riley...  
  
Buffy shut her eyes. She was not going to think about him. It was too much to deal with, that he could have betrayed her this way. It had been one thing when he'd cheated on her but this time he'd crossed a line. He'd put her and her child in danger, that she wasn't sure she could forgive.  
  
Buffy sighed and pulled the blankets up around her chin. She'd try and take a nap, at least that would make some of the time pass. She was just about to drift off when she heard the door open.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes, wondering who they had sent in now. She'd seen every kind of doctor there was. She'd even had a session with a psychiatrist. She couldn't wait to see who they had sent now.  
  
"Buffy?" The woman asked. She didn't look much older than Buffy. She had dark hair that was pulled back into a bun, glasses and had a timid air about her.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes but said, "Yes."  
  
"Good," The woman said. She looked around and then her whole manner changed. She hurried to Buffy's side and turned off the alarms and monitors. Then she quickly unhooked Buffy.  
  
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'll explain later. Come on, we have to get out of here before they realize that you're gone."  
  
"Who are you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Fred," She said. "I work with Angel." She eyed Buffy, "Can you stand? I can get a wheelchair but it would be better if you could walk."  
  
"Wait a minute," Buffy said "Angel sent you? How does he know anything about this?"  
  
"Spike came and asked him for help," Fred explained. "I'll explain everything once we're out of here."  
  
"Spike asked Angel for help," Buffy said suspiciously. "Right, in some alternate dimension maybe but in this one they despise each other."  
  
"I know," Fred agreed. "We've had to separate them so many times.. There were a few minutes when I thought they were really going to kill each other."  
  
"Wait a minute," Buffy said, uncertainly. "We're not in some alternate demension? This is our world."  
  
"Yeah," Fred said. "And I don't have much time to get you out of here. So come on."  
  
Buffy hesitated. Fred seemed to be telling the truth but Buffy wasn't sure. This could be another trick of the governments. She needed proof before she was going anywhere. "Wait," Buffy said. "I need some proof that you're telling the truth, that you work with Angel."  
  
Fred nodded, "Spike said you'd be suspicious. He told me to give you this. He said he found it in your car. He wanted you to have it back." She handed Buffy a familiar necklace.  
  
Buffy gasped. It was the sapphire necklace that had belonged to Spike's mother and that he had given her. She quickly checked the clasp and saw the initials. They were there and Fred was telling the truth. No one could have known where she left the necklace and only a few people knew of its existance and its significance. Buffy quickly put the necklace on and said, "Let's go."  
  
"Come on," Fred told her. "There's a car waiting downstairs to take us back to the hotel."  
  
Buffy followed Fred out the door. The guards were there. They saw Buffy and eyed her suspiciously.  
  
"I'm taking her down for a scan," Fred told them.  
  
The guards nodded so Buffy and Fred hurried to the elevator.  
  
"That was easy," Fred commented.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "These guys are programmed to just stand around and not ask questions." They rode the elevator to the floor that they would leave from. The elevator doors opened. Fred looked around. There was no one on that floor.  
  
"Where is everyone?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I fixed it so that all the guards would be away long enough for us to get out of here," Fred explained. "But let's hurry before someone realizes what I did."  
  
They moved as fast as they could towards the doors. They were almost there when they both heard the sound of footsteps. Fred and Buffy froze.  
  
"What do we do?" Fred asked.  
  
Buffy looked at the door. She quickly calculated how long it would take for them to reach the door, "Run," Buffy said.  
  
"What?" Fred asked.  
  
"You said that there's a car outside, right," Buffy said. "We just have to get to it and then we're safe."  
  
"Can you run?" Fred asked, looking at Buffy's stomach.  
  
"I'm still the Slayer," Buffy said. "I can't run as fast as I could but I'll make it. Now go," She ran for the door, as fast as she could with Fred close behind her. They made it outside and stopped for a minute.  
  
"Where's the car?" Buffy gasped, amazed at how out of shape she was.  
  
"Over here," Fred said, pointing to a dark car. She and Buffy hurried towards it. They yanked open the doors, got in and slumped against the seats, gasping.  
  
The person who was driving turned around, "Hello Buffy."  
  
"Wesley," Buffy said, in surprise. "You're driving the get-away car?"  
  
"My car," was all Wesley said as he started the car and drove away.  
  
Another figure in the front seat turn, "Fred, you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine Charles," Fred told him.  
  
"Any problems getting out?" Wesley asked.  
  
"No," Buffy said. She looked around the car, "Where's Angel and Spike?"  
  
"We left them back at the hotel," Wesley said. "Cordelia and Lorne are keeping an eye on them."  
  
Wesley drove as fast as he could back to the hotel. Once there he helped Buffy out of the car and she, along with Wesley, Gunn and Fred went into the hotel.  
  
"What's taking so long?" Spike asked, pacing through the loby.  
  
"They haven't been gone that long," Angel said, testily.  
  
Spike stopped and looked at Angel, "If your mates have screwed up and put Buffy in even more danger..."  
  
"Guys," Lorne said, seeing Buffy standing in the doorway.  
  
"No one's screwed up," Angel snapped. "You're just going to have to wait for once in your unlife."  
  
"Uh guys," Lorne tried again.  
  
"I'm not waiting," Spike told Angel. "Something went wrong, I know it."  
  
"Would you two just shut up and look," Cordelia said, pointing to the door.  
  
Both Spike and Angel turned and saw Buffy. Neither one of them said anything. They just stared at her.  
  
"We should have gotten you back sooner," Wesley murmered to Buffy. "If that's what it took to shut them up."  
  
Buffy didn't answer. She just stared back at them. Then she walked towards Angel and Spike. All three of them were silent. She reached Angel, paused for a split second and then walked right past him without even looking at him. She kept walking until she reached Spike. Then she stopped right in front of him. Both of them stood there for a minute, then Buffy made a soft noise and threw herself into Spike's arms.  
  
They just stood there, locked in each other's arms, Spike' face buried in Buffy's hair. Slowly he looked at Buffy and lowered his lips to hers. She returned his kiss, passionately and long.  
  
Everyone looked away as Spike and Buffy got more passionate. They seemed to forget that anyone was there.  
  
Finally Cordelia snapped, "For crying out loud you two, get a room."  
  
"Good idea," Spike said. He reached down and lifted Buffy up into his arms. Because of his vampire strength the added weight of her pregnancy didn't bother him and he effortlessly began to carry her up the stairs.  
  
Once they were out of sight, Lorne sighed, "And they say romance is dead."  
  
Angel glared at him. Then he walked over to the playpen and picked up Connor, "We may have gotten Buffy back but it's not over yet, not until the government knows what'll happen to them if they go anywhere near Buffy or Connor."  
  
Fred glanced at her computer, "It's all there. All we have to do is make sure that they know that it's there."  
  
"Good," Angel said, bouncing Connor. He glanced up the stairs and then looked away, trying not to think about what was probably going on up there.  
  
Upstairs Spike carried Buffy into one of the empty rooms and laid her down on the bed. Then Buffy watched him disapear into what she assumed was the bathroom. She heard the water start and Spike came back into the room.  
  
"Thought you'd want to get cleaned up," Spike explained.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said. "They let me shower there but I had to practically file a request to." She looked down at what she was wearing, sweats and a hospital gown that were covered by a robe. "Is there anyway I can get out of this too?" She asked.  
  
Spike nodded, "The cheerleader'll get you something."  
  
"Have her get a tent," Buffy said. "That's probably all that will fit me." She stood up, went into the bathroom, undressed and got into the tub. She sighed with relief. The hot water was just what she needed to soothe her sore muscles.  
  
"Enjoying it luv?" Spike asked, leaning against the door frame.  
  
"I feel like I've died and gone to heaven, again," Buffy said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "Except for the fact that I probably look like a beached whale."  
  
Spike smiled and said, "You have never looked more beautiful than you do right now."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes, "And you have never told a bigger lie than you just did."  
  
"Serious as a heart attack, pet," Spike told her. He turned to leave, "I'll be right back."  
  
"Where are you going?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike didn't answer. He just left, closing the door behind him. Buffy sighed. She might as well enjoy this because it wouldn't be long before they'd have to go back to Sunnydale and the mess there. Once that happened there wouldn't be much of a chance to relax.  
  
Spike was able to get to and from the kitchen without anyone noticing. He quickly put a tray together and carried upstairs. He set it down on the table in the room he'd appropriated for him and Buffy  
  
"Miss me?" Spike asked, poking his head in the bathroom.  
  
"Come here," Buffy said, motioning him over. Spike walked over to the tub and started to pull his shirt off. "No," Buffy said.  
  
"What?" Spike asked. This was not how he planned this.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Come here."  
  
Spike sighed and knelt down next to the tub, "What's more exciting than..." He was cut off when Buffy splashed some water at him. He leaned back startled, then grinned, "Oh you're going to get it." He leaned over Buffy.  
  
"Wait," Buffy said, holding out her hands. "I want to show you something."  
  
Spike looked her up and down, "Ah luv, there is no part of you that I havn't seen."  
  
"Shhh," Buffy said. "Just watch." She lay perfectly still and stared at her stomach.  
  
Spike followed her gaze, wondering what she was talking about. He waited for a few second, then asked impatiently, "What are we waiting for?"  
  
Buffy didn't answer for a minute, then she pointed to her stomach, "That."  
  
Spike looked confused for a second but then he saw what Buffy wanted him to, "Is that?"  
  
Buffy nodded, not taking her eyes off her stomach. She and Spike just watched watched her stomach, as the baby's elbows and knees were visble as they made contact with the inside of Buffy's stomach.  
  
"Wow," Spike said, reaching over and putting his hand on Buffy's stomach. The baby kicked at Spike's hand. "Hey," Spike protested.  
  
"Sorry," Buffy said. "Should have warned you. He doesn't like it when someone touches my stomach."  
  
"Territorial," Spike said, moving his hand off of Buffy's stomach.  
  
"You have no idea," Buffy said. "He seems to know when it's me touching my stomach, he doesn't mind that but when one of the doctors would try to examine me he'd go crazy."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," Spike said. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Good to have you back, luv."  
  
Buffy nodded, "I was never so bored when I was in that place. They didn't hurt me but all I could do was sit around and do nothing but worry about what they were going to do to the baby and what they might have done to my friends."  
  
"Both are fine," Spike assured her. "I read your file and it said that everything's good with the little nipper. As for your mates, I talked to Dawn last night and everyone's fine. Your watcher is back and they're all waiting for me to bring you home." Spike decided it was better not to mention the litter of newborn kittens in the basement. He hoped that Clem would have sold them by the time they got home.  
  
"We need to get back," Buffy said. "Before your insane ex puts her newest plan in action."  
  
"We will," Spike promised. He was just as anxious as Buffy to get home. He'd spent too much time with Angel as it was.  
  
"We should get going now," Buffy said. She struggled to sit up. She was finally able to with Spike's help. He helped her out of the tub and then to dry off.  
  
"Where are my clothes?" Buffy asked, looking around for something to wear.  
  
"Here," Spike said, tossing her one of his shirts and a pair of sweats that he'd borrowed from Cordelia. Buffy quickly dressed and was relieved to find that, although everything was a little tight, it still fit. Spike looked her up and down.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, unnerved by how Spike was looking at her.  
  
"Just hoping that," He ran his finger along the buttons of the shirt she was wearing. "You'd wait a bit before putting clothes on." He leaned down and kissed her, while undoing the buttons on her shirt.  
  
Buffy pushed him away, "Spike, no." He looked confused and Buffy thought she saw a flash of hurt so she quickly explained. "We don't have time right now. We need to get back to Sunnydale before all hell breaks lose."  
  
"Things are fine in Sunnyhell," Spike said. "Your Watcher's there and gettin' everyone ready to take Dru down. And," He pulled Buffy into his arms and began kissing her neck, "A few hours is not going to matter and I've missed you."  
  
Buffy pushed him away again, "No," She insisted. Now she was sure she saw hurt on his face so she tried to explain. "Look," She said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I'm tired, I'm sore and I feel as big as a house and about as attractive as...." She searched for the right words. "A blue whale."  
  
Spike sat down on the bed next to Buffy, "I find," He began kissing her shoulder. "Blue whales very," He continued up her neck until he reached her ear, "Very sexy."  
  
Buffy tried to protest for a second but then she stopped fighting him. Despite how unattractive she felt, she still wanted him and she had no idea what was going to happen when they got home. Aside from Drusilla's army, there was the baby to think about. There probably wouldn't be very many chances for romance when there was a baby around. Buffy was just about to tell Spike this when he moved his hand and rendered her incapable of a coherent thought.  
  
Hours later and downstairs Gunn glanced up the stairs, annoyed, "Think they'll ever come down?"  
  
"Not for awhile," Fred said, going through a file. "With vampire and slayer stamina they could be up there for hours." She looked up and saw the look on Angel's face. "Sorry."  
  
Angel shrugged. He knew what was probably going on upstairs and what would continue to happen. It bothered him a little but he could deal with it. He looked up and saw Buffy and Spike coming down the stairs. Buffy's face was flushed and Spike had a smug, satisfied look on his face. For second Angel forget what he'd been thinking a second ago but tried to remember that he was in no position to judge Buffy.  
  
"Nice to see you two," Angel said. "I didn't think we ever would again."  
  
"Only in my fondest dreams," Spike said.  
  
"So when are you two leaving?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"Sunset," Buffy said. "We need to get back right away."  
  
Angel nodded, "The latest I've heard is that Drusilla's army is complete. All she's waiting for is for the stars to align."  
  
"And that's soon," Buffy said. "That's why we have to get back and stop her before she can open the Hellmouth."  
  
Angel shook his head, "I don't think it's just the Hellmouth opening she's after. There's something else going on."  
  
"We'll figure it out when we get home," Spike said, anxious to get out of L.A. and back to Sunnydale. He looked outside. The sun was setting enough that he could drive back. "Let's go," He told Buffy.  
  
"Wait," Buffy said. "What about the government? How do we know they aren't going to come after us again."  
  
"They won't," Angel said.  
  
"Don't be so sure about that," said a voice from the doorway. Everyone turned and saw Riley Finn standing in the doorway. Behind him was an entire team of armed guards. 


	62. Never Know Your Luck When There's A Free...

Sorry for the long delay. I've had more computer problems but I managed to get this out. I hope you like it!  
  
Chapter Sixty-Two: Never Know Your Luck When There's A Free For All  
  
"Riley," Buffy said. "How did you find me?"  
  
"It wasn't hard," Riley explained. "Who else would you and Spike go to in LA if you're in trouble."  
  
"They know that they can count on me," Angel said. "Unlike others I know."  
  
"I did what I had to do," Riley said. "And I'm doing what I have to do now." He pointed his gun at Buffy.  
  
"You're going to shot me?" Buffy said. "I would have thought that your orders were to bring us in alive."  
  
"They are," Riley said. "These are tranquilizer guns. They have just the right dosage to knock you and...him," He gestured to Connor, who was sleeping in Angel's arms. "Out without doing any real damage. It'll just make them easier to transport."  
  
"No one's going anywhere," Spike said. "Except maybe you and your mates."  
  
"We're not leaving without our subjects," Riley insisted.  
  
"Yes you will," Spike said. "You can leave or you can be resposible for every member of your organization's death."  
  
"What is this idiot babbling about?" Riley asked.  
  
"He's talking about a virus that's been implanted into your computer," Wesley said. "It's untracable and you can't get rid of it. It's programmed to lock every way out of every building in your organization. Once you are all locked inside the locks on the demon's cages will be released. You will be prevented from getting to your weapons. It will be a demon feeding frenzy."  
  
"Say," Spike said, leaning against the desk as the impact of what Wesley said hit Riley. "Isn't your wife in one of those places?"  
  
Riley faltered for a minute but then his face hardned, "It doesn't matter. Sam would want me to bring those two in no matter what."  
  
"You'd let your own wife die?" Gunn said with disbelief.  
  
"She'll be fine," Riley said, looking at Buffy and Angel. "Because this is a bluff, right?"  
  
"Don't look at me," Buffy said. "I don't know anything about this."  
  
"You'd never allow it, though," Riley said. "I know your policy about killing people and the souled vampire isn't going to add to the body count right now. Neither one of you wants that much blood on your hands."  
  
"When someone tries to take our children away from us," Buffy said, looking at Angel. "We'll do whatever it takes to protect them."  
  
"You'd really kill thousands of people just to protect two?" Riley said, gesturing to Connor with his gun. "The spawn of vampires?"  
  
Angel let his face slip into vamp mode for a second, "Point that thing at him again and you'll lose that arm."  
  
Riley quickly lowered his gun, "It doesn't have to be this way, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."  
  
"Riley," Buffy said in one last chance to reach him. "You don't have to do this. You can pretend that you never found us. You can make up any excuse. You can go back to your life and we can have ours."  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy," Riley said. "But it has to be this way."  
  
"No," Spike said. "It has to be this way."  
  
Angel handed Connor to Buffy and, before Buffy knew what was happening, pushed Buffy into the office and locked the door. Spike grabbed an axe and stood in front of the office door. Lorne grabbed some herbs, threw them up in the air and shouted an incantation. There was an explosion, a cloud of smoke and then cries of pain. When the smoke cleared the soliders stood, with their guns on the floor having been reduced to melted rubble.  
  
"Now let's have some fun," Spike said, taking his position in front of te office door. Every other member of Angel Investigations grabbed the nearest weapon and charged.  
  
"Remember," Wesley said, drawing first blood by sending an arrow into the nearest soldier's arm. "Don't kill them, just hurt them."  
  
"No problems there," Gunn said, cutting into another solider with a sword.  
  
The battle continued with the staff of Angel Investigations winning. The government soliders were well-trained but without weapons. Their bare fists and martial arts were no match for A.I.'s arsenal. It didn't take long before almost every soldier was taken care of.  
  
During the entire battle Spike didn't take his eyes off of Riley. Riley held back and let his team take care of everything. Then when the tide of the battle started going in the wrong direction Riley, realizing that the entrance was blocked, made a run for the basement door.  
  
"Peaches!" Spike yelled at Angel. Angel looked at Spike. Spike jerke his head towards Riley. Angel understood and he quickly took Spike's place guarding the office door while Spike chased after Riley.  
  
Riley ran into the basement of the hotel, Spike close behind him. Spike was not letting Riley get away.  
  
"Going somewhere?" Spike asked, as Riley looked around. He couldn't find the exit into the sewers and he was trapped.  
  
"I'm not afraid of you," Riley said, picking up a broken table leg from the floor.  
  
"You should be," Spike said, taking a few practice swings with the axe.  
  
"You can't hurt me," Riley said. "Even if you wanted to."  
  
"That's true," Spike acknowledged. "Thanks to you and your mates I can't kill you but," Spike gestured to the shadows. "I know someone who can do it for me." A Fahyrl demon stepped out of the shadows and growled. "This is Max. He's a demon for hire and he works for me right now. All I have to do is give the word and he'll tear your head off and let me drink from your brain stem."  
  
"You'll have a tough time explaining my corpse to Buffy," Riley said, confidently. "I'm sure she'll want to raise her child with you, knowing that you have my blood on your hands."  
  
"Buffy will know that I did whatever it took to protect our son," Spike said. "She'll only be disapointed that she didn't get to kill you herself."  
  
"Right," Riley said. "That's not the Buffy I know."  
  
"She's not the Buffy you knew, you git," Spike said. "None of you get it. She's died, gone to heaven and been brought back. That's changed her from the Slayer that you knew. Her world's a little grayer than when you knew her. Add in her maternial instincts.." Spike shrugged. "And it adds up to the Buffy that's upstairs."  
  
Riley glanced up the stairs and realized that Spike was right. The Buffy that he'd just seen wasn't the same one that he'd left. She had changed and so had he. Riley faltered for a minute and almost considered abandoning his mission and getting what was left of his team back to Headquarters. Then he saw the axe in Spike's hands and heard the sounds coming from the shadows and Riley's resolve strengthened.  
  
"No," Riley said. Spike looked confused, wondering what Captain Cardboard meant. "No, I came here for a reason and I"m not leaving without them."  
  
"Sorry to hear that," Spike said. He raised his voice, "Max," Spike gestured to Riley, "Have at it."  
  
The demon advanced on Riley. Riley searched for some kind of weapon but all of his government issue weapons had been destroyed. Riley immediately dropped into a fighting stance.  
  
"Don't bother," Spike said. "Max here may not be the smartest demon but he's the best at what he does."  
  
"And what's that?" Riley asked, not taking his eyes off of Max.  
  
"Killing things," Spike said.  
  
Riley decided to take the offensive. He'd fought this kind of demon before. He quickly kicked at Max's stomach but Max was ready. He caught Riley's leg and threw him off balance. Before Riley was aware of what was happening Max had spun him around and was seconds away from snapping his neck.  
  
Spike held up his hand, "Wait one second." He walked over and looked at Riley. "I want to savor every second of this."  
  
"Buffy will never forgive you for killing me," Riley said, struggling in Max's grip.  
  
"Maybe," Spike agreed. He walked up close to Riley, "Maybe she'll hate me forever for this but at least she and our son will be safe from you and the rest of your mates."  
  
"You think killing me is going to stop them?" Riley asked. "Kill me and they'll send someone else. If you kill them then they'll just send another. We'll keep on coming."  
  
"How quickly humans forget," Spike said. "Remembe the little virus in your computer systems. One click and it's all over and one snap and it's all over for you."  
  
"Just get it over with then," Riley said, shutting his eyes and thinking about Sam, wanting his last thoughts to be of his wife.  
  
Riley kept his eyes shut and waited, waited for Max to snap his neck and for whatever happened afterward. He waited but nothing happened. Riley slowly opened his eyes and saw Spike just standing there, studying him like he would a bug under a microscope.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" Riley demanded. "Just do it."  
  
Spike smirked at Riley and snapped his fingers at Max. Then before Riley knew what was happening Max had dropped him to the floor. Riley watched, gasping, as Spike handed the demon some money and the demon vanished into the sewers.  
  
"Come on," Spike said, pulling Riley to his feet. "Time to go."  
  
"What's going on?" Riley asked.  
  
"This," Spike explained. "I just let you live...."  
  
"Why?" Riley gasped.  
  
Spike looked away and didn't answer. "Because," Spike finally said. "Now you owe me."  
  
"This changes nothing," Riley said.  
  
"Yes it does," Spike told him. "A vampire, one who hates you, just spared your life. Doesn't that change your...perspective on how things work?" Riley didn't answer. "I'll take that as a yes. Now," Spike said, gripping Riley's shoulder. "You're going to go back to your mates and tell them whatever you have to, just convince them to stay away."  
  
"Or what?" Riley snarled. "You won't kill me again?"  
  
"Or I'll release that virus and you and all your mates will die."  
  
"You're bluffing," Riley said.  
  
"Am I?" Spike said, allowing his face to shift into vampire mode. "You want to take that chance?" Riley didn't answer, "I didn't think so," Spike said. "You leave now and everyone gets what they wants, you get to keep your wife and mates alive, Angel gets to keep Peaches Jr. and Buffy and I get to keep our son."  
  
"This won't stop us," Riley said, pulling away from Spike.  
  
"I think it will," Spike said. "You don't want to live with all that blood on your hands."  
  
"I'll survive," Riley said, even though he didn't believe that and neither did Spike. Spike and Riley stared at each other for long time and finally Riley said, "Fine." He started towards the sewers. Just before he disapeared Riley stopped and turned back, "My team?"  
  
"Angel's mates will take them back." Spike said. "If you'd made a different choice....."  
  
"I won't forget this," Riley said.  
  
"I hope not," Spike said. And he watched until Riley was gone.  
  
Once alone Spike leaned against the stairs and let out an unneeded sigh of relief. His gamble had worked. He slowly climbed the stairs and went into the lobby. Buffy was sitting on the couch, Angel was standing next to the desk, cuddling Connor. Everyone else was gone.  
  
"Soldier boys clear out?" Spike asked, drawing attention to himself. Buffy tried to get up but Spike quickly moved to her side and sat down next to her, "You okay?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "Fine. What about Riley?"  
  
"He won't bother us again," Spike said.  
  
"You didn't?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No," Spike said. "Captain Cardboard is still among the land of the living."  
  
Angel eyed Spike suspiciouly. He knew that Spike had hired a demon but Spike had insisted that it was only to scare Riley, not to kill him. Angel wondered what had really happened down there.  
  
Spike saw Angel looking at him, "Don't worry, I didn't get blood on your basement floor."  
  
"What did you do?" Angel asked.  
  
Spike just grinned. "By the time I was done with him Captain Cardboad didn't know up from down, metaphorically speaking of course."  
  
Buffy and Angel exchanged a glance, "I'll find out what happened," Buffy promised.  
  
Angel nodded, "Are we safe from them?" He asked Spike. "Or should we get ready for another round?"  
  
"They won't be back," Spike said.  
  
"How do you know?" Angel asked.  
  
"Trust me," Spike said.  
  
"Famous last words," Angel said.  
  
Spike ignored Angel. He stood up and helped Buffy off of the couch, "We're leaving. We only have a few days until..."  
  
"Right," Buffy said.  
  
"Do you need any help?" Angel asked.  
  
"No," Spike said quickly. "We'll be fine."  
  
"We will," Buffy assured Angel.  
  
"If you need anything..." Angel said.  
  
Buffy nodded. She went to him, smiled at Connor and kissed Angel on the check. "We'll call."  
  
"We need to get going," Spike said, pulling Buffy away. He knew that he shouldn't feel jealous but the sight of Buffy and Angel together still bothered him.  
  
"Spike," Angel said, nodding his head.  
  
"Angel," It was all Spike could say.  
  
"Take care of them," Angel said.  
  
"Always," Spike said. The two of them stared at each other for a long time. Then Spike finally turned and he and Buffy left the hotel to return to Sunnydale and all that faced them there. 


	63. We'll Be Ready

Chapter Sixty-Three: We'll Be Ready  
  
Spike shook Buffy awake, "Almost home, luv."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes, "Already? How long have I been asleep?"  
  
"The second we hit the road," Spike said. "Thought I'd let you sleep."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said, knowing the chaos that woud greet them the second that they got home. "Do they know that we're coming home?"  
  
Spike nodded, "I called the bit while you were sleeping."  
  
"Everything okay at home?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike shrugged, "Guess so, they haven't said anything."  
  
"Well the house is still standing," Buffy said as Spike turned into the driveway. "Guess they didn't do too much damage."  
  
"I'll wait 'till we get inside," Spike said, as he helped Buffy out of the car. "Who knows what it looks like."  
  
"Isn't Giles staying with Dawn?" Buffy asked. "He'll make sure that no one destroys the house too much."  
  
They walked up to the door and went inside. They went into the living room. "They must have been waiting for us," Spike whispered. Dawn was curled up in the chair. Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara were on the couch and Giles was sitting at the desk. All were asleep.  
  
"Think we should wake them?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Allow me," Spike said. He leaned over Xander, making sure not to make a sound. Spike slipped into vamp face. Then he whispered, "Xander... Xander....time to wake up..."  
  
Xander mumbled something, opened his eyes and saw Spike's vampire face in front of him. He screamed and backed into the couch cushions, terror stricken.  
  
"What?" Willow said, jumping to her feet.  
  
"Are we under attack?" Dawn said, trying to get out of the chair.  
  
"Vampire," Xander stammered. "Inside, without an invite."  
  
Anya, angry at being woken up, hit Xander on the arm, "It's Spike."  
  
"Spike," Xander said, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Miss me?" Spike asked, grinning as his face slipped back to normal.  
  
Xander glared at him and started to speak but he was interrupted by Dawn as she ran to Buffy.  
  
"Are you okay?" Dawn asked as she hugged her sister.  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy assured her.  
  
"Oh my gosh," Dawn said, standing back and looking at Buffy. "You're huge. I mean you've doubled in size."  
  
"Dawn's right," Willow said, she and Tara joining in the hugs. "You're enormous..I mean..."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said, stepping back and protecting her stomach with her hands. "Enough, I know I'm the size of a blimp."  
  
"Well," Giles said, breaking through the crowd. "Blimp or not, I'm glad that you're back safely." He hugged Buffy and then looked at Spike, "Exactly how did you get back here?"  
  
"Don't worry," Spike said, leaning against the living room doorway. "Captain Cardboard and his friends won't be bothering us, ever again."  
  
"And how do you know that?" Xander asked, still mad about Spike's method of waking him up.  
  
"Riley is alive, right?" Willow asked.  
  
"He's alive," Spike assured her. "He and I have an understanding of what will happen if he comes near Sunnydale, ever again."  
  
"It's okay," Buffy said, seeing the worried looks. "No one was killed."  
  
"Good," Giles said. He'd have to get the rest of the story from Spike later.  
  
"Sit down," Willow told Buffy. "Anya, move over and let Buffy sit." Once the couch had been vacated Anya had stretched out and was laying down. Anya opened her eyes and glared at Willow. "Come on," Willow urged. "Buffy's pregnant. She shouldn't be standing around."  
  
Anya opened her mouth, shut it and slowly sat up, glaring at Willow the whole time.  
  
"That's okay," Buffy said. "I've been sitting down for awhile. I need to stretch my legs a little."  
  
"Are you hungry?" Tara asked. "It's morning so I can make breakfast. What do you want? Pancakes, waffles, eggs, suasage, bacon, anything."  
  
"I can eat all of that," Buffy said.  
  
"I'll make everything," Tara said, disapearing into the kitchen.  
  
Spike started to head towards the kitchen too. He wanted to grab a mug of blood. The drive had been long and he was feeling peckish.  
  
"Spike," Giles said, following him into the hall.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "Can't a bloke get a mug of blood in peace?"  
  
"Not until I know what happened in L.A."  
  
"What do you want to know?" Spike asked, exasperated. "I went there, got Buffy back and made sure they'll never bother us again, what else is there to talk about?"  
  
"Your method," Giles said. "You said that Riley is alive, that you didn't kill him but you and I both know what you can do to a person without killing him."  
  
"I didn't harm a bloody hair on his head," Spike said annoyed. "Couldn't even if I wanted to." He pointed to his head, "Chip, remember?"  
  
"Then how did you persuade him to let Buffy go and to leave her alone?" Giles asked.  
  
"Rupert," Spike said, annoyed. "It's a long story and I'll tell all the juicy details later. Now your turn, what's happening with Dru and her plans?"  
  
"There's not much to tell," Giles said. "She's assembled her army and is just waiting for the stars to align."  
  
"And that's not very far away," Spike said.  
  
"No," Giles agreed. "She's after something, something more than this army, other than just opening the Hellmouth. I just can't figure out what. I was hoping that you might have some insights."  
  
"No idea," Spike said. "There's no pattern to her way of thinking and with the idiots that she's working for..."  
  
"We just need to be ready," Giles said. "We have a plan worked out."  
  
"Do I want to know?" Spike asked. He shook his head, "Never mind, just fill me in later and make sure that Buffy stays out of this fight."  
  
"Of course," Giles said, insulted. "I'm not going to let her fight in her condition."  
  
"Who says that it's up to you," said a voice behind Spike.  
  
"Buffy," Giles said, startled by her appearance.  
  
"You're not leaving me out of this," Buffy said.  
  
"And how do you plan on fighting?" Spike asked. "You haven't trained or patroled in months. You're not up to fighting speed."  
  
"I can still fight," Buffy said. "And you're going to need everyone you can get."  
  
"That doesn't include you," Spike said. "You're in no condition to be fighting."  
  
"Prove it," Buffy said.  
  
"Fine," Spike snapped. He lunged at Buffy. She grabbed him and flipped him onto his back.  
  
"Seen enough?" Buffy asked.  
  
"How did you do that?" Spike asked from the floor.  
  
"Just a matter of distributing the weight," Buffy explained.  
  
"Yeah well, I wasn't trying to hurt you," Spike pointed out as he got to his feet. "These guys will."  
  
"You're not leaving me out of this," Buffy said. "I stayed out of the fight in L.A. because someone had to protect Connor."  
  
"And you'll protect our son by staying behind."  
  
"I'll be unprotected then," Buffy said. "If I'm as helpless as you think I am."  
  
"Actually Anya's already volunteered to stay behind," Giles said.  
  
"Anya?" Buffy said, suprised.  
  
"Yes, she offered to stay here with you and make sure that you're safe."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, I'm not staying behind and neither is Anya." She looked at Spike and Giles. "This discussion is over." Then she went back to the living room.  
  
Spike and Giles followed her into the living room. Tara handed Giles a plate with pancakes on it and Spike a mug of blood.  
  
In the living room Dawn was having a whispered conversation with Willow. They both looked excited.  
  
"So can we do it now?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Do what?" Buffy asked.  
  
"We ah have a surprise for you," Willow said.  
  
"What is it?" Buffy asked  
  
"Can we show her?" Dawn asked again.  
  
"Sure," Willow agreed. She put down her plate and grabbed Buffy's hand. "Come on, you too Spike, you're going to love this."  
  
Buffy and Spike followed Willow up the stairs, followed by the rest of the Scoobies.  
  
"What's going on, Red?" Spike asked.  
  
"Just wait," Willow said. She led Buffy and Spike to Buffy's old room. Willow put her hand on the doorknow, paused and said, "Shut your eyes."  
  
Buffy obeyed but Spike refused. None of Willow's pleas could convince him to close his eyes so Willow finally gave in and opened the door. "Okay," Willow said to Buffy. "Open."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and looked around her former room. She gasped and tried to blink back tears, "Oh my gosh, when did you guys do this?"  
  
The room had been transformed from Buffy's teenage bedroom into a nursery. It was exactly the room that Buffy and Spike had picked out. The walls were blue with stars. There was a crib done in the same pattern. There was even a matching chest of drawers and a fully stocked changing table. Buffy walked over the drawers and opened one. It was full of baby clothes. Buffy reached in and pulled out a small white sleeper. She looked at Spike, who was leaning at against the doorframe, and trying not to look affected by the nursery. "Isn't this perfect?"  
  
"Looks good, luv," Spike agreed.  
  
"When did you do this?" Buffy asked again.  
  
"We didn't think that there'd be time for a baby shower before you know...the latest apoclypse," Willow said. "So we just did this."  
  
"It's great," Buffy said, hugging Willow. "Thank you."  
  
"Hey," Dawn said, looking around the room. "Where's the..."  
  
Xander covered her mouth with his hand. "It's downstairs, remember?"  
  
"What's downstairs?" Buffy asked eagerly.  
  
"Wait here," Xander ordered. He and everyone else went downstairs, leaving Buffy and Spike in the nursery.  
  
"So," Buffy asked. "What do you think?"  
  
"Nice," Spike said. "Just what we wanted." He started to speak again but suddenly Buffy gasped and grabbed onto the crib railing, her other hand going to her stomach. "Buffy?" Spike asked, hurrying to her side. "Are you okay?"  
  
Buffy shut her eyes, let out the breath she'd been holding and nodded, "I'm fine."  
  
"You sure?" Spike asked, unconvinced.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said. "It's just Braxton-Hicks."  
  
"Braxton-what?" Spike asked.  
  
"It's a contraction but it's not real," Buffy said, trying to explain. "It's not the real thing, it's just a warm-up."  
  
"So when's the real thing?" Spike asked, suddenly eying Buffy like she was a time bomb.  
  
"I don't know," Buffy said, annoyed. "I'll let you know when it is."  
  
"I'd appreciate that." Spike said. He looked at Buffy intensly, "This is why I want you to sit out this fight. What if you get one of these Braxton- whatever things while you're fighting?"  
  
"I'll be fine," Buffy said, trying to reassure him. "I won't be fighting alone. You and my friends will be there if I need help."  
  
Spike pulled Buffy into his arms, "I don't like this pet," Spike admitted. "I just got you back and I'm not too keen on losing either one of you."  
  
"You won't lose us," Buffy promised. She pulled Spike's face down to hers and for a few minutes they forgot all about armies, demons and everything else.  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn called from downstairs, interrupting Bufy and Spike.  
  
"Bloody hell," Spike said, breaking away.  
  
"Come on," Buffy said. "Let's go see what they want to show us."  
  
Buffy and Spike went down the stairs and into the living room, "What did you guys do now?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Ta dah," Xander said, stepping aside. He had been standing in front of a cradle. It was wooden with carvings and even had already been made up with blankets.  
  
Buffy gasped, "It's beautiful. Where did you find that?"  
  
"I made it," Xander said, proudly. "I found designs of ones that were used in the 1800's and I just copied those."  
  
"That was my idea, to make one like Spike would have had, " Dawn said proudly. She looked at Spike. "Did he do a good job?"  
  
Spike nodded, stunned. "It looks like the one we used."  
  
"There's a rocking chair too," Xander said. "But I haven't finished that yet."  
  
"Thank you," Buffy said, hugging Xander. "It's perfect."  
  
Xander shook his head, "It was no problem. I had fun making it." He looked at Anya, "And Anya did the blanket part."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy told Anya. Buffy grinned and said, "You guys are going to make great parents someday."  
  
Anya brightened, Willow rolled her eyes and Xander paled, "Major emphasis on the someday," Xander said. "It was fun doing this for your baby but there is no way I want to have kids for a long time." He looked at Anya, "Right?"  
  
"Wrong," Anya said. "You don't want to have a baby right now."  
  
"And you do," Willow said, annoyed. She looked at Buffy and Spike. "She's been going on and on about babies the whole time you've been gone."  
  
"So?" Anya said. "All you've been talking about is Buffy's baby. Why can't I talk about a baby of my own?"  
  
"Because Buffy's actually pregnant," Xander said. "You're not and we agreed that you wouldn't be for awhile. I've already told you that I don't want kids right now. We're....I'm not ready for them and it's not fair to them or us if we have kids before we're both ready."  
  
"And my feelings don't count?" Anya asked.  
  
"Yes, but I'm asking you to respect my feelings too," Xander said.  
  
"Why?" Anya asked, angrily. "You don't respect my feelings."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said, breaking into Xander and Anya's arguement. "So what's new on the local demon front?"  
  
"Nothing really," Giles said, gratefull for the interruption. Xander and Anya had been arguing about children non-stop and it was getting tiresome. "The local demons are laying low for now. They're waiting for Drusilla's army to win."  
  
"Scavengers," Spike said.  
  
"Most likely," Giles agreed. "We've been trying to find the location of Drusilla's army but we haven't been able to yet."  
  
"They're not all in one place," Spike explained. "They're all hiding in different places, just waiting for Dru's call."  
  
"And that'll be soon," Willow said. "But we have a plan."  
  
"What?" Spike aske skeptically.  
  
"Don't worry," Dawn said. "It'll work."  
  
"What exactly is this plan?" Buffy asked.  
  
"We split into two groups," Willow explained. "One takes on the army and the other goes to the old high school and makes sure that the Hellmouth stays closed."  
  
"Whose on what team?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow looked around the room, "Me, Dawn and Giles go to the old high school. Spike, Xander and Tara take on the army.  
  
"What about me and Anya?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You're staying here," Anya said. "And I'm staying here to protect you."  
  
"I heard that," Buffy said. "And I already said that that's not going to happen. I'm fighting this fight, so you and I are both in. I'll go to the Hellmouth and you'll help take on Drusilla's army."  
  
"We figured that you would want to stay behind," Anya said, looking startled at the change in plans. "You know, to protect your baby."  
  
"We'll be fine," Buffy said. "Plus I don't think there's going to be much fighting at the high school. It'll probably be just Andrew, Jonathan, Warren and Drusilla, and I think we can handle them."  
  
"Fine," Anya said, obviously annoyed at the change. "Then I want to switch places with Dawn or Giles and go to the high school."  
  
"Why do you..." Xander started to say but Willow interrupted him.  
  
"No, you and Spike know the most about demons and how to defeat them. You guys have to be on the team that goes after them."  
  
"Willow's right," Giles said. "Your knowledge of demons and their armies will be valuable in this fight, that's why we need your help fighting the army instead of trying to stop the ritual."  
  
Anya glared at him, stood up and stormed out of the living room. There was a brief silence and then Buffy asked, "What just happened here?"  
  
"No idea," Xander said. "She's been acting really strange lately. Every little thing makes her mad."  
  
"Well hopefully she'll take some of that anger out on the demons, we're going to need everything we have to defeat them," Giles said.  
  
"Any idea what demons Dru's got signed up?" Spike asked.  
  
"Some idea," Giles admitted. "We know she's got Fayral demons and Wraiths. It sounds like there's a chaos demon, and several vampires involved."  
  
"We can take those," Spike said.  
  
"Right," Giles continued. "And after you've dealt with them, get to the high school as quickly as you can. We're still not sure what to expect there."  
  
"There are no prophecies about this," Tara said. "About the Hellmouth opening again."  
  
"So this is just another one of Dru's crazy ideas," Spike said.  
  
"Probably," Giles agreed. "Unless this wasn't her idea."  
  
"You think this whole thing was Warren's idea?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It's possible," Giles said. "Drusilla isn't known to be very good at long- range plans. This has taken time and planning, two things that she's not capable of."  
  
Spike shook his head, "She's capable of those. Who do you think got the idea to bring the Judge back? She could come up with some of the most creative plans sometimes. And she's a bloody psychic, her visions kept the two of us alive more times than I can count." Spike grinned, thinking back to when he and Drusilla had cut a swath across Europe, leaving a blood bath in their wake.  
  
"Do you think that this has been because of a vision she's had?" Giles asked.  
  
"Possible," Spike said. "Or she might have discovered something that she wants to resurect and it resides in the hellmouth."  
  
"I thought she just wanted to open the hellmouth," Xander said.  
  
"Maybe she doesn't want it opened, maybe she just wants it opened so that she can take someone or something out," Willow said.  
  
"Whatever it is we have to stop her," Buffy said.  
  
While the Scoobies were discussing their battle plans, Spike glanced down at his mug. It was empty and he was still hungry so he quietly left the living room for another mug of blood.  
  
He got a blood bag from the fridge and after pouring it into a mug, put it in the microwave to heat. Then he began rummaging through the cupboards, looking for some Weetabix to mix with the blood. Suddenly he tripped over something on the floor.  
  
"Ow," He said, turning to see what had tripped him. "Bloody hell demon girl, do watch where you're sitting." Anya was sitting on the kitchen floor. Spike hadn't noticed her until he had tripped over her.  
  
"Go away," Anya said. "I want to be alone."  
  
"Good luck in this house," Spike said, ignoring Anya and continuing his search of the cupboards.  
  
Anya stood up, "Can you go away?"  
  
Something in Anya's voice made Spike turn to look at her. He was startled to see her staring out the window, tears running down her cheeks. 


	64. So Dark, So Dark and Deep, The Secrets T...

Chapter Sixty-Four: So Dark, So Dark and Deep, the Secrets that You Keep  
  
"I said go away," Anya repeated, not moving from the window.  
  
"Fine," Spike said. He decided to forego the Weetabix and go back into the living room.  
  
"What are you doing?" Anya asked.  
  
"Leaving," Spike said. "It's what you wanted."  
  
"That's not what you're supposed to do," Anya said, turning to face Spike. "You're supposed to stay, find out what's wrong and then comfort me."  
  
"Fine," Spike said, annoyed. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I hate my insensitive, inattentive husband," Anya said, wiping away her tears.  
  
"Okay, you're mad at Xander." Spike said. "Well if you want to sit and bash the whelp, I'm all for it." He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a hidden bottle of whiskey. He poured some into his blood and handed the bottle to Anya.  
  
"No," Anya said quickly, handing the bottle back to Spike. "I can't."  
  
"Suit yourself," Spike said, hiding the bottle. "So what's the whelp done now?"  
  
"It's what he won't do," Anya complained.  
  
"What won't he do?" Spike asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer. Then he remember the arguement that Anya and Xander had had earlier. "The kiddie arguement again?" Spike guessed.  
  
"Yes," Anya said angrily. "He won't listen to me. No matter what I say. I tell him I want a baby and he says he's not ready and that I'm being selfish. But I'm not being selfish. He's the selfish one." She looked at Spike, "You're not saying anything."  
  
"I will when I disagree with you," Spike said, taking a drink of his blood and whiskey.  
  
Anya continued her rant, "And everytime we argue about having a baby everyone always takes his side, especially Willow. I think if it were up to her Xander and I would never have a baby. I mean it's okay for the Slayer and the vampire to have a child but for the married normal couple, forget it."  
  
"You're hardly normal," Spike said, deciding to ignore Anya's comment about him and Buffy.  
  
"Normal enough to get pregnant naturally," Anya snapped. "And more normal than you, you and Buffy needed a magic spell, all I needed was one night when we forgot to use a condom. And now..."  
  
"Wait wait," Spike said, realizing what Anya had just said. "What? What did you just say?"  
  
"You heard me," Anya said, annoyed. "Or did that chip affect your hearing too? I'm pregnant."  
  
"You're lucky I know that it's just your bleeding hormones talking," Spike said, angrily. "Or I'd test this chip on your pretty little knocked-up head." Anya stared at him and then started to cry again. "Bloody hell," Spike said, exasperated. "Knock it off, I didn't mean it, okay maybe I did but you didn't need to take it so seriously."  
  
"Why not," Anya said tearfully. "I mean everyone else is mean to me, my own husband, my so-called friends and now even the one person who I thought might understand."  
  
"You got me confused with some other bloke," Spike said. "Someone who goes for all that sensitive stuff."  
  
"You know what it's like to be the outsider in the Scoobies," Anya pointed out. "To have everyone only like you because you're with one of their own."  
  
"Yeah well," Spike said, looking away. Anya's words had hit a little too close. "So," He said, changing the subject. "Xander managed to...." Spike grinned and shook his head.  
  
"What's so funny?" Anya snapped.  
  
"Nothing," Spike said. Anya could be difficult at the best of times but now with pregnancy hormones charging through her... it was going to be an interesting nine months and he didn't envy Xander the slightest. Buffy had had her moments but even at her worst she hadn't been this bad. "I take it the whelp doesn't know," Spike asked.  
  
Anya shook her head, tears flowing, "No, and I don't know how to tell him. He keeps saying he doesn't want a baby and now..." She started to sob and threw herself into Spike's arms.  
  
Spike just stood awkwardly as Anya sobbed into his shirt. Then he slowly put his arms around her and soothed her, "Don't cry," Spike said, as gently as he could. "Xander'll come around." He titled Anya's head so that he could look at her face. "If a vampire can handle having a child with a slayer then Xander can deal with having one with his wife."  
  
"You sure?" Anya sniffed.  
  
"Have I ever been wrong?" Spike asked. Anya looked at him skeptically so Spike added, "At least on the big things."  
  
"No," Anya admitted.  
  
"It'll be fine," Spike assured her. He desperatly wanted to get away. He was fond of Anya but this was getting a little too close for comfort.  
  
"Don't tell anyone," Anya asked. "Not even Buffy."  
  
"I won't tell Buffy," Spike promised.  
  
"Won't tell me what?"  
  
"Buffy," Spike said as he and Anya sprang apart. Anya spun around to hide her tear-stained face while Spike scrambled for an explanation as to why Anya had been in his arms.  
  
"So," Buffy said. "What is it that you aren't going to tell me?  
  
"Ah..." Spike tried to think of something that Buffy would believe.  
  
"Let me guess," Buffy said. "Anya's mad at Xander so she threw herself at you, like she did that night at the Bronze.  
  
"Something like that," Spike said.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and looked at Anya, who was still facing away from Buffy, "If you're done throwing yourself at my son's father, Xander's ready to leave."  
  
Anya had composed herself enough to face Buffy, turned and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as she was gone Buffy looked at Spike, an annoyed expression on her face.  
  
"Would you at least let a fellow defend himself before you stake him," Spike asked Buffy.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes again, "I'm not going to stake you, at least not until after we take out Drusilla and her gang."  
  
"Nice to know," Spike said.  
  
"What's going on with Anya?" Buffy asked. "That you promised not to tell me."  
  
"Nothing," Spike said. Buffy looked at him skeptically so he continued, "Nothing for you to worry about, luv."  
  
"Spike, what's going on?"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Spike said. "Demon girl's just mad at the boy."  
  
"And she told you because the two of you are such good friends," Buffy said suspiciouslly.  
  
Spike shrugged, "Just a typical female rant, I was here and pretended to care."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said, accepting Spike explanation. She was too tired to argue with him.  
  
"You okay, luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Just tired," Buffy explained. "I'm going up to bed. Everyone's gone home, Giles is sleeping on the couch and Dawn's already in bed."  
  
"Well then why don't we...." Spike said, picking up Buffy and carrying her upstairs. They quickly undressed and got into bed. Spike leaned over to kiss her but Buffy stopped him.  
  
"Can we do this later?" Buffy asked. "I really am tired and we have alot to do if we're going to stop the end of the world."  
  
"Well when you put it that way," Spike said. He shut his eyes but then opened them again when he heard Buffy speak.  
  
"Willow's doing magic again," Buffy said, abruptly.  
  
"What?" Spike said, sitting up. "Red's all with magiks again? Thought she quit that."  
  
"She's started again," Buffy said. "She told me while you were in the kitchen with Anya. She's started doing spells again, but only with Tara to supervise her. But when we go after Drusilla's army Willow will be doing magic without anyone to watch her."  
  
"She won't be alone," Spike pointed out, disturbed by what Buffy had revealed about Willow. "You, Nibblet, and Giles will be with her."  
  
"We can't control her if she goes too far," Buffy said. "Only Tara's powerfull enough magically but we can't put them together because a witch has to be with each team."  
  
"Red'll be fine," Spike said, not believing himself.  
  
"I hope so," Buffy said. "She says that she's mainly using defensive spells, stunning spells, that kind of thing."  
  
"Good," Spike said. "We'll need those to keep Dru from the hellmouth."  
  
"I just hope she can control herself without Tara around," Buffy said.  
  
"She will," Spike said. "You and Giles can keep her feet on the ground, literally."  
  
Buffy nodded and they were quiet for a moment and then Spike said, "Any other deep dark secrets that went on while we were gone?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, just one other thing we need to talk about before we have to save the world again."  
  
"What's that?" Spike asked.  
  
"Names," Buffy said, resting her hands on her stomach. "We still haven't talked about what we want to name the baby."  
  
"Can we talk about this later, pet?" Spike asked, tiredly. "I thought that you were tired."  
  
"I am," Buffy said. "But I'm not going to sleep until we decide what we're going to name our son."  
  
"Fine," Spike said. "What do you want to name him?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I thought about names while the government had me but nothing I thought of seemed to fit." She glanced at Spike, "Any ideas?"  
  
"No," Spike said. He hadn't thought much about it.  
  
"Well," Buffy said, trying to get him to make suggestions. "What was your father's name?"  
  
"William," Spike said. "I was named after him. It was the family tradition."  
  
"So you want to name our son William?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No," Spike said adamantly. "I never respected my father and I thought even less of William, and I'm not naming my son after either one of them."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said. She thought that Spike would have wanted to name their son after who he'd been in his former life but she'd obviously been wrong. She thought for awhile about other names that might work and finally she came up with one, "What about Charles, after your brother?"  
  
Spike didn't answer so Buffy looked over at him. Spike was sound asleep. He hadn't heard a word that she had said about naming the baby after his brother. Buffy shook her head, curled up next to him with her head on his chest and soon they were both asleep. 


	65. Ten Little Ducks Went Out To Play

Sorry for the long delay. In the past few months I've moved out of my apartment, gotten more hours at work, got a cat, and my computer finally died and took my stories with it. So I've had to do a lot of rewriting. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Sixty-Five: Ten Little Ducks Went Out To Play¼ ..

"Are we ready?" Buffy asked, looking around at the gathered Scoobies. 

They were all standing in the Summers' living room. Everyone had arrived hours ago to prepare for the night's battle. Now all were armed and just waiting for the sun to go down.

"Yes," Giles said. "And even if we weren't there's no time for anyone to back out." His comment was directed at Anya.

Anya glared at him but didn't say anything. Ever since she and Xander had arrived at Buffy's Anya had tried to find some excuse not to go. She tried every excuse she could think of, the only one she didn't use was the truth, and none of her excuses worked. She'd finally given up when she got tired of arguing with everyone.

"So where do we go?" Spike asked casually.

"Meaning?" Willow asked.

"I mean," Spike said. "Your team goes to the high school to stop Drusilla. Where does my team go?" No one said anything. "You do know where her little soldiers are going to strike first, right¼ right?"

Everyone at each other and finally Willow said, "We thought that the cemetery would be the most logical choice."

"But we just did a location spell," Tara admitted. "But there wasn't a huge concentration of demons like there would be."

"How's that possible?" Buffy asked. "We know for a fact that there is an entire army of demons in this town. How could they not show up on a spell?"

"They did a blocking spell," Anya said. "Certain demons can block their presence. Or there are other spells that can be used so they can't be located."

"And you're telling us this now?" Willow asked, annoyed. "Why didn't you mention this before?"

"The same reason that you didn't tell us that you were using magic again," Anya said. "I didn't think it was important enough for you to know."

"It is important," Willow said. "Not knowing this could have gotten someone hurt or killed."

"You could say the same thing about you and magic," Anya retorted. "Last time you broke Dawn's arm. Who are you going to hurt this time?"

Willow's expression darkened and she lifted her arms but before she could do anything Buffy grabbed her raised arm and pulled Willow back.

"Stay out of this," Willow said through gritted teeth.

Buffy ignored Willow, held onto her arm and look over at Anya, "What is with you two? You've been at each other's throats since I got back."

"I'm tired of her butting into my life," Anya said, angrily. 

"And I get sick of how selfish she is," Willow bit back. "A person can only take so much self-absorbedness."

"I'm selfish because I want a child?" Anya asked. "And I'm the only one who actually says what they mean?"

"No you're selfish because you only think of yourself and your feelings," Willow said. "And I am not butting into your life. I'm looking out for Xander."

"Enough!" Buffy broke in. "Both of you back off each other until this is over." She looked to both of them. "We have a world to save and we can't do that with you two trying to kill each other." She studied them. "What is wrong with you guys? I thought you got past all this."

"She¼ " Anya started to say.

"It's her.." Willow began.

Buffy held up her hand, "Sorry I asked. Whatever is going on, forget about until after this is over." She looked at them intensely, "Got it?" Anya and Willow glared at each other but nodded.

Willow pulled away from Buffy and sat down on the couch. Anya glared at everyone in the room and stormed out. Xander started to go after her but was stopped by her slamming the bathroom door in his face. He returned, bewildered, to the living room. Xander heard Spike mutter something about hormones running wild but wasn't sure what that meant.

"Okay," Buffy continued, as if nothing had happened. "Now we don't know where this army is going to attack. So we should.."

Spike interrupted her, "We all go to the high school. This army isn't Dru's style, has to be those idiot's idea. The army's only a distraction so Drusilla can open the hell mouth before we can get to her."

"What is with you people?" Buffy yelled. "Is there anything else that you forgot to tell me? Willow's using magic, we don't know where these demons are because Anya says they've done a blocking spell and Spike picks now to tell us that the demons are only a distraction." She looked at Spike, "When did you figure this out?"

Spike shrugged, "Had some time to think while you were gone."

"So why didn't you say something?" Buffy asked.

"Because I thought that your mates would have figured it out," Spike said. "But you're all thicker than I thought."

"Alright," Giles broke in, attempting to smooth things over. Everyone was now glaring at Spike for withholding even more information. "We're not going to be able to do anything with you all at each other's throats." He glanced over at Anya who had come back into the living room. "All of you are going to put your personal differences aside. Understand?" There was silence and then nods from everyone, even from those who hadn't been arguing.

"Let's go then," Buffy said, looking out the window. The sun had set and it was dark enough for vampires to be out without being in danger of burning up.

Everyone walked out the door, Spike trailing behind. They'd weren't even out of the yard before Spike grabbed Buffy's arm and pulled her aside.

"What?" She asked. "I'm not staying behind if that's what you're going to say."

"It wasn't," Spike assured her. He wanted her to but no amount of persuading was going to get her to stay behind. He handed her a crossbow.

"What do you want me to do with this?" Buffy asked.

Spike pointed to the arrows. The metal arrowheads had been replaced with wooden ones, "This way you can stake vamps from a distance instead of getting up close and personal."

"Spike," Buffy protested.

"It's either this or I drag you back and chain you in the basement," Spike said. "Think about, you haven't had a good fight in months and you're out of shape," He ignored Buffy's protest. "Those demons don't play nice, one blow and.." He put his hand on her stomach.

"That's not fair," Buffy said.

"I'm a vampire," Spike said. "We don't play fair."

Buffy glared at him for a moment, then said, "Fine." Then she turned and hurried after her friends, Spike beside her. After a few minutes she asked, "Where did you get the crossbow anyway?"

"Swiped it from Wesley," Spike said. "What?" He asked as Buffy shot him a look. "It's for a good cause." Buffy rolled her eyes and didn't say anything more until they reached the high school.

The high school was deserted. There wasn't a sound, trace of anything human or nonhuman. There wasn't even the slightest hint of a breeze. Everyone held their weapons at the ready. Willow and Tara prepared to cast whatever spell was needed. Giles held a sword. Xander and Dawn held their stakes at the ready. Anya had a stake in one hand and the other held protectively over her stomach. Spike stood near Buffy, prepared to tear the head off any demons who dared to step near her. Buffy held her crossbow in one hand with the other hand resting on her stomach.

"This is creepy," Dawn said, tossing her stake from one hand to the other. "What do we do now?"

"The ritual has to take place at the hellmouth," Giles said. "Odds are that's where Drusilla and her minions are."

Everyone started to move slowly towards the ruins of the high school. They'd only gotten a few feet when suddenly there was some movement from the bushes and before anyone could realize what was going on they were surrounded by a circle of demons and vampires.

"I think we're in trouble," Xander said. 

"Not even close," Buffy said, raising her crossbow and pointing it at the nearest vampire. Spike grabbed her arm before she could fire. "What?" She asked, angry that Spike had stopped her. 

Spike didn't answer. He just looked to where the circle had parted to include a very familiar dark figure.

"So pleased you could come to my party," Drusilla purred.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Buffy said, pointing her crossbow at Drusilla.

Drusilla didn't answer. She looked up at the sky. Then she looked at the Scooby's, all armed and ready to stop her. She laughed, raised her arms and spun in a circle. She began to sing, "Ten little ducks went out to play, over the hills and far away. Mummy Duck said, 'Quack Quack Quack Quack.' But only nine little ducks came back."


	66. Break On Through To The Other Side

If anyone's interested I just started an Angel role-playing game. All characters except for Spike and Willow are available. The address is  
  
There is also a General Hospital game for those who are interested.  
  
Chapter Sixty-Six: Break On Through To The Other Side  
  
"What's she babbling about?" Buffy asked, referring to Drusilla's song.  
  
"No idea," Spike lied. He had a pretty good idea of what Drusilla had been saying but now wasn't the time to mention it. He just had to be sure that this time her vision didn't come true. A sudden movement distracted him and he turned his head just in time to see a vampire turn to dust. "What the bloody hell." He yelled. He turned and saw that Buffy had fired the first shot from her crossbow.  
  
"What?" Buffy said to Spike. "We didn't come here just for a walk."  
  
Spike grinned, "That's my girl." Then he ignored Buffy's protests about being called his girl and grabbed the nearest demon. It happened to be a vampire. Spike caught him by surprise and had the vampire by the neck, "So," Spike asked. "Which part are you?" The vampire started to answer but Spike killed him before he had a chance to answer.  
  
The demons attacked. Spike found himself wishing that he could be in two places at once. There weren't a large number of demons but Drusilla had chosen ones that were fierce. And Spike was trying to watch his own back along with Buffy, Dawn and Anya.  
  
Buffy was fending off any demon who dared to get close to her. So far she'd managed to shoot anyone who got close to her with Wesley's crossbow but Spike didn't want to take the chance that she or the baby could get hurt.  
  
Dawn was holding her own too. She'd been doing some training with Giles in preparation for this battle. She hadn't dusted or killed anything yet but Spike knew it was just a matter of time before she did.  
  
Anya was the one he was really concerned about. Buffy and Dawn were being watched by the rest of the Scoobies. They were making sure that nothing happened to either one of them. As far as everyone but Spike was concerned, Anya wasn't pregnant which meant she could take care of herself. And Spike could see that that wasn't going to happen. While Buffy appeared to have a sudden burst of energy and was holding her own against any demon who even looked at her, Anya was dragging.  
  
Spike was briefly distracted by a feryll demon. He quickly killed it and when he looked up from his kill he saw that all the demons were gone, "Bloody hell," Spike swore. "What happened?"  
  
"We got rid of them," Buffy said, grinning triumphantly.  
  
"That was easy," Dawn said. "I thought demon armies were supposed to be hard to beat."  
  
"They are," Giles said.  
  
"I told you that it was a distraction," Spike said. He looked around, "Where's Dru?"  
  
"She took off as soon as her demons attacked," Xander said.  
  
Spike swore, "She probably already started the ritual." He took off towards the high school, hoping that the others would follow him.  
  
Spike ran through the debris that had been the old high school. He'd been here had only been here once since the school had been destroyed but he remembered the exact way to the hellmouth. It didn't take long to get there and he stopped short at the sight that met him.  
  
Drusilla was standing in the middle of a triangle formed by Warren, Andrew and Jonathan, who were kneeling. The boys were chanting in some language that Spike didn't understand. At Drusilla's feet was an open box covered with symbols that had been painted on in blood.  
  
"The box," Giles gasped, catching up to Spike. "That box can't be thrown into the Hellmouth."  
  
Drusilla saw Spike and the just-arrived Scoobies. She smiled and pulled something from her skirt. She closed her eyes and said, "Imprisoned by the blood of the Slayer, blood of the Slayer will set you free." She pulled the top off of what she was holding and Spike realized what it was. It was a test tube and Spike's vampire senses immediately picked up on the familiar scent. The blood was Buffy's.  
  
"What's she doing?" Dawn asked.  
  
"She's completing the ritual," Willow said, horrified. "All she has to do is throw that box in the Hellmouth and.."  
  
"Then let's make sure she bloody well doesn't," Spike said. He ran towards Drusilla and her boys.  
  
Unfortunately Drusilla had been with Spike for over a hundred years and she knew his fighting style. She was ready for him. Spike went straight for the box, intent on destroying it, but Drusilla was quicker. She grabbed the box and tossed it to Warren. He caught it and held it over the Hellmouth.  
  
"Don't drop it," Drusilla yelled. "It's not time yet!"  
  
"Get it away from him," Spike yelled to the Scoobies. "I'll handle her." He turned back to Dru, "Been doing it for years."  
  
Drusilla snarled and lunged at Spike, biting and clawing. Spike was ready for her. He grabbed her and spun her around. His arm around her neck, pressing against her throat, "I don't really want to hurt you, ducks, but I will."  
  
"You won't win this time," Drusilla snarled. "My king is coming and one of your merry men won't get out of this alive. Then the rest of them will follow." She broke away from Spike and looked into his eyes. She reached up and touched his face. "We could have it all again, my William, at the right hand of the king."  
  
Spike stood, caught up in Drusilla's spell. Then he shook himself free, "Sorry pet, got other plans."  
  
Drusilla growled but this time she didn't go after Spike. Before Spike realized what was going on she had ran towards Buffy. While Spike had been dealing with Dru, everyone else had been trying to deal with the Trio. Jonathan and Andrew were protecting Warren who held the box, ready to drop it into the Hellmouth. Buffy had stayed out of this fight. There were others who could handle those three.  
  
Buffy heard a noise behind her and before she realized what was happening Drusilla had grabbed her. Drusilla had one arm around Buffy's throat and held the other one at Buffy's stomach, her long nails inches away from Buffy's stomach.  
  
Spike had been running after Dru but froze once he saw that she had Buffy. Quickly the other realized what was happening. No one moved, not wanting to be the one who set Drusilla off.  
  
"One move." Drusilla hissed into Buffy's ear. She raised her voice, "Leave my boys alone."  
  
Buffy couldn't move. Under normal circumstances she would have been able to break free but Spike had warned her what Drusilla could do. Drusilla killed Kendra with one swipe of those nails and she wouldn't hesitate to bury them into Buffy's stomach.  
  
"Dru," Spike said. "Leave her alone."  
  
Drusilla didn't answer. She just gripped her arm tighter around Buffy's throat.  
  
"Do something," Dawn yelled at Willow. Dawn was hoping the Willow and Tara's magic would help.  
  
"No," Willow hissed. "If I cast a stunning spell it'll hit Buffy too. Remember I couldn't use it before because it would hurt the baby."  
  
Everyone stood, not wanting to move. Drusilla was unstable at the best of times and no one wanted to be the one that would set her off. Time seemed to stand still for a few minutes and then it went straight to hell.  
  
Drusilla suddenly yelled, "Now!" She threw Buffy to the ground and ran towards Warren. Spike hurried to Buffy's side, knelt down and gathered her into his arms.  
  
"You okay?" He asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "I think so." Then her eyes widened.  
  
Spike looked in direction her eyes had turned. A split second before it happened he knew, "NO!" He yelled as Warren threw the box into the Hellmouth.  
  
For a full minute all was quiet. Everyone just stood, waiting for what would happen next.  
  
Then the ground began to shake. Spike pulled Dawn down next to him and Buffy and covered both their heads from the falling rocks. Tara and Willow clung together. Xander protected Anya, the same way Spike was shielding Buffy and Dawn, while Anya held her arms across her stomach. Giles ducked rock and debris as he hurried to help Spike shield Buffy and Dawn.  
  
Warren stared, mesmerized at the gap in the earth where the Hellmouth was. He and Drusilla were on one side of the gap, everyone else was on the other. Andrew and Jonathan were cowering on the ground, startled looks on their faces, like they were coming out of a trance.  
  
After a few minutes of the ground shaking it stopped. A green light glowed from the Hellmouth. Then an insane laugh came from deep in the Hellmouth. Drusilla joined in the laughter and began to dance around.  
  
Spike stared at the green light, heard the laughter and a frightening thought came to him. It was so terrible he didn't even want to consider it. "What's going on?" Dawn asked. Spike shook his head. He was wrong, she wouldn't be crazy enough too. oh who was he kidding? She was that crazy.  
  
The light and the laughter intensified and Spike knew exactly what was happening, "You stupid, bloody bitch," Spike screamed at Drusilla. "What have you done?"  
  
"What's happening?" Willow asked.  
  
Spike didn't answer. He just stared at the light as a dark figure slowly rose out of the deepest darkest part of the Hellmouth. 


	67. It's A Story

Chapter Sixty-Seven: It's A Story  
  
Spike tightened his arms around Buffy and Dawn, as he watched in horror. A figure rose out of the Hellmouth. He was about 10 feet tall. He was dressed in a black hooded robe. All that was visible was his face. His face was a human skull with green glowing eyes. His hand that clutched a staff was also a skeleton hand. He hovered over the Hellmouth, laughing triumphantly. Then he glided over to where Drusilla and Warren were standing.  
  
"What's happening?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike didn't answer her. He was too shocked and horrified to say anything. This was something that even in his wildest nightmares he'd never considered. He didn't even know how Drusilla knew about.She couldn't have...  
  
The laughter stopped and the robed figure looked down at Drusilla and Warren. He was silent for a moment then said in a terrible voice, "Who released me?"  
  
Drusilla didn't answer. She just twirled around in ecasty. The figure looked at Warren. He raised his hand and said, "It.it.it. was me."  
  
The figure nodded and said, "Thank you." Then he raised his staff and pointed it at Warren. A beam of light shot out of it and hit Warren in the chest. Warren screamed as flesh, muscles and bones melted away into a pile of dust.  
  
Spike ignored the screams coming from Andrew and Jonathan. If that creature was who Spike thought it was then he had to get Buffy and Dawn out of there before he turned that staff on them. "Come on," He yelled, pulling Buffy and Dawn to the feet. "Move!" He called out to the stunned Scoobies.  
  
They ran as fast as they could out of the high school, leaving Drusilla alone with the creature she'd raised. Everyone stopped for breath once they were on the front lawn of the school.  
  
"What," Gasped Willow. "Was that?"  
  
Spike shook his head, "Later, keep moving." He looked around for a vehicle. They had to move fast or they would be the first to die. "There," He pointed to the Tri, now Duo's van.  
  
"You can't hijack our van!" Andrew protested. He and Jonathan had followed them out of the school. "Not without us."  
  
Spike looked at them and made a quick decision, "Fine, let's go."  
  
Everyone jumped into the van. As Xander crawled into the back he asked Spike, "Who put you in charge?"  
  
Spike turned from the driver's seat to look at Xander, "Because I'm the only one who knows what we're dealing with."  
  
"Spike," Giles asked, climbing into the passenger's seat next to Spike. "What exactly are we dealing with?"  
  
Spike turned on the van and drove as fast as he could away from the school, "Not now," Spike told them. "Where's a good place to hide?"  
  
"We're not running away," Buffy protested from the back of the van.  
  
"We are," Spike said, not taking his eyes off the road. "Because once he gets his full strength back you're the first one he's coming after, luv." Spike made a sharp turn and parked in front of the Magic Box. "Everyone out."  
  
"What are we doing here?" Giles asked.  
  
"Magic supplies," Spike said, jumping out of the van and helping Buffy out. Everyone followed her out. "The witches need to do their best protection and blocking spell."  
  
Once inside the store Willow and Tara quickly cast their spells. The store was now protected by their strongest spells but Spike didn't know how long they had.  
  
Now that they were safe for the time being the full weight of what had just happened sunk in.  
  
"He killed Warren," Jonathan said, tearfully.  
  
Spike, who had been making sure that Buffy and the baby were alright, suddenly turned, grabbed Jonathan and threw him up against the wall. Spike yelled as his chip went off, but didn't let go of Jonathan.  
  
"How?" Spike growled. "How the bloody hell did she know about him?"  
  
"I don't know," Jonathan whimpered. "I barely remember the last few months. It's all a blur."  
  
"Well you'd better remember," Spike growled. "Because if you don't..."  
  
Jonathan tried to think. He finally said, "I don't know how she knew about him. All she said was that she heard about him one night when she was naughty and supposed to be asleep."  
  
Spike stared at Jonathan for a moment and then let him drop to the ground. Spike stepped away from Jonathan and began to pace around the room, "No," He muttered. "She couldn't have.she was asleep. they both were. we were sure of it.. and if she was awake how did she remember.bloody hell who forgets something like that.I know we didn't..." Spike began to mutter in a language Buffy had never heard before.  
  
"What's he saying?" Buffy asked.  
  
Anya looked at Spike and then at Buffy, "Words that I wouldn't even say, in several demon languages."  
  
Buffy stood up, grabbed Spike and shook him, "Spike, what is going on? Who is that?"  
  
Spike pulled away from Buffy and leaned against the counter, looking shaken, "His name, in this dimension anyway, is Dante."  
  
"Like the poet?" Tara asked.  
  
"No," Spike said. "This Dante is a demon beyond terror, beyond horror. All record of him was wiped out of the Watcher's Council record and all other written word. He's only know in legend and even the legend is know by few."  
  
"Like you?" Dawn said.  
  
"Right," Spike said. "And I only know because Angelus told me about him one night when we were beyond drunk."  
  
"Angel knows about Dante?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It wasn't Angel who told me about Dante," Spike corrected. "It was Angelus. He told me after one of the most." He trailed off. He wasn't going to tell anyone the details of that night. They wouldn't understand.  
  
"What did he tell you?" Giles asked.  
  
"We were all so drunk," Spike said. "We'd killed an entire tavern that night." He looked around. "All those people, all of them drunk.And when we feed off of them we got drunk and the more we fed.." Spike didn't finish the sentence. They got the picture. "After we finished them all we went back to the hotel we were staying at. At the hotel we." Spike stopped. He glanced around the room, suddenly remembering who he was talking to. None of these people would understand what had happened that night between him, Drusilla, Darla and Angelus. To vampires the whole night had been natural, almost expected but to humans it would be wrong. Spike couldn't tell them that part of. There were children in the room, of course two weren't born but still. plus he couldn't bare the look of disgust on Buffy's face when she realized what he had done.  
  
"What happened at the hotel?" Buffy asked. Spike had stopped talking and a glazed look had appeared on his face.  
  
Spike spoke carefully, "The women were sleeping and Angelus and I were talking. We were both still drunk and getting drunker. Angelus said that he had a story to tell but that no one else could know. We were sure that the women were asleep and couldn't hear. That's when he told me about Dante."  
  
"And Drusilla heard all of this?" Giles asked. "Even though you thought that she was sleeping."  
  
"She must have. That's the only time I ever heard Angelus talk about Dante." Spike didn't add that Drusilla had been curled up right between him and Angelus. She was in the perfect position to hear everything.  
  
"What did Angel tell you about Dante?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Dante was evil that existed long before anything else did," Spike said, trying to remember every detail of the legend that Angel had told him. The legend had scared them both and Spike had tried to forget. "He's not even from this dimension. It was just here where they finally stopped him."  
  
"How?" Buffy asked.  
  
Spike shook his head and continued with his tale, "Dante went from dimension to dimension, devouring everyone and everything that wasn't exactly evil in its purest form."  
  
"Like the Judge?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No," Spike said. "Worse. You saw what he did to Warren." Spike ignored Andrew and Jonathan's wimpers. "He'd do that and worse to all of his victims. He finally wound up here and they managed to stop him." Spike thought hard. His memories were clouded by the alcohol and fear from that night. "Some were able to escape Dante's purges. They knew he was coming here so they got here first. They found the Slayer."  
  
"The first Slayer," Buffy asked.  
  
"No, the second Slayer." Spike glanced at Giles, "Ever wonder why there's hardly anything on the Second Slayer. She was the one who finally defeated Dante. All the others that escaped him combined their powers with the Slayer and channeled it through her. She put him in the darkest, deepest part of the Hellmouth where he was supposed to stay forever."  
  
"Until you and Angel decided to get drunk and blab all," Xander said.  
  
Buffy shot Xander a look and he shut up, "How do we defeat him now?"  
  
"When the Slayer finished off Dante all of her new powers were taken from her and.." This part of the legend had confused him and Angelus hadn't been up to explaining it fully. "I think it was put into a stone. That's the only thing that could defeat him if he ever raises again."  
  
"So where is the stone?" Willow asked.  
  
"I don't know," Spike said.  
  
"Why did you say that Dante would come after me?" Buffy asked.  
  
"It was the Slayer that defeated him," Spike pointed out. "He senses anyone with the blood of a Slayer. That's you, the Nibblet, and the baby."  
  
"So he'll come here first," Anya said, looking at Buffy. "He'll come here because of you."  
  
"Back off," Willow said.  
  
"It's true," Anya snapped. "He's going to kill the entire world, starting here. All of us are going to die."  
  
"Not if we can stop him," Buffy said, pacing around the store, her hands rubbing her back. Her back had been aching more than usual ever since they'd gotten to the Magic Box. She must have injured it when Drusilla had pushed her.  
  
"How do we do that?" Anya asked, angrily. "The only way to defeat him has been lost since practically the beginning of time."  
  
"There has to be something," Giles said, picking up one of his books. "Even if all record of Dante was erased there has to be some mention of him." He looked at Spike, "How did Angelus know about Dante?"  
  
"The Master," Spike explained. "He told Angelus about Dante one time when he and Darla were visiting."  
  
"If the Master and Angel knew about Dante then other vampires had to know," Willow said.  
  
"It's not a commonly known legend," Spike pointed out. "The only way to pry it out of a vampire is with lots of booze and great." Spike stopped just in time. He had to be careful or he was going to reveal all that had happened that night. "It even scares vampires."  
  
"Why is this legend kept a secret?" Dawn asked, paging through a book, looking for a reference to Dante."  
  
"Because not even vampires like Angelus and the Master want some crazy with delusions of grandeur to raise Dante up again. That's why we wanted to be sure that Dru couldn't hear what we were saying."  
  
"Well she did," Buffy said, staring out the window. Spike joined her. Far off in the direction of the old high school smoke was rising. Dante's powers were already starting to return. It was only a matter of time before he found them. They just had to make sure that they could stop him when he did. 


	68. Strange Thing, Mystifying

I have a challenge for my readers. I still haven't decided on a name for Spike and Buffy's baby. I have a few ideas but nothing set in stone. So if you can think of a good name, send it to me. My only requirements are that it has to fit into the story and make sense for them to pick that name.  
  
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Strange Thing, Mystifiying  
  
"What exactly are we looking for?" Xander asked, staring a large book in front of him. "Because all I've gotten out of this is a headache."  
  
"Well you'd better keeping looking," Spike snapped from his position at the window. He had been watching for any sign that Dante was nearby. "Because if we don't figure out a way to stop him a headache is going to be the least of your worries."  
  
"There's no trace of Dante anywhere," Dawn said, looking up from the computer. She'd been searching on the internet for any mention of Dante.  
  
"If both the Council and vampires were anxious to keep him under wraps then there isn't likely to be any trace of him," Giles said.  
  
"We might find something if everyone would help," Willow said, taking a moment to look up and glare at Anya.  
  
Anya was sitting on the stairs to the upper part of the store, a book was on her lap but she wasn't reading it. She was leaning against the railing, her eyes closed and her complexion reminded Spike of the demon that had been hanging out with Angel.  
  
Anya opened her eyes and started to speak but Buffy spoke first, "Not now," She said, looking at both Anya and Willow. "Save it until later."  
  
"There won't be a later if we don't find that stone," Willow said. She looked over at Spike, "Do you remember anything more about it?"  
  
Spike shook his head, "No, I've told you everything I can about that night."  
  
Willow studied him and said, "What if I cast a spell, one that would pull the memory of that night out of your head and show it to us, like it was a movie. We might see something that you've forgotten." She raised her hands to cast the spell.  
  
Spike moved out of range, "No bleeding way."  
  
"Why not?" Willow asked. "It's the best source we've got."  
  
Spike looked around for some help. There was no way in hell that he was going to let Willow dig around in his mind, especially about that night. He looked at Buffy for support but she was ignoring him. She was pacing around the shop, her hands alternating between holding her back and resting on her stomach.  
  
Tara came to his rescue, "Don't," She told Willow. "If he doesn't want it then don't."  
  
"We could learn something that could save the world," Willow protested. "Spike might have forgotten something that's important."  
  
"Read their minds," Spike said, gesturing to Andrew and Jonathan. They'd wisely stayed quiet. "They've been Dru's lapdogs while she cooked up her scheme, they might know something."  
  
"They don't remember anything," Giles said. "The past few months have been a blur. I suspect that Drusilla had them under some kind of mind control."  
  
"You sure that they don't remember anything?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Quite," Giles said in a tone that said exactly how he knew this.  
  
"That's why we need Spike's memories," Willow said.  
  
"No," Spike repeated. He was not going to let anyone see that night. They wouldn't find anything anyway and he didn't want to deal with the looks of disgust and horror that he'd get when they realized what had happened that night.  
  
"Forget Spike's memories," Buffy snapped. "Let's just find the damn stone." She glared at everyone and then resumed her pacing.  
  
Everyone, except Anya quickly turned back to their books or computer. Spike stepped away from the window and walked over to Buffy.  
  
"You okay, luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"I'm fine," Buffy snapped. She stopped and rubbed her back. "I think I might have hurt something when Drusilla pushed me. My back hurts more than usual." She glared at Spike, "Or it's your son sitting on a nerve."  
  
Spike grinned, "Already getting on your nerves, that's my boy." He reached over and put his hand on her stomach. Nothing happened," Guess he sleeps during the day."  
  
Buffy looked down at her stomach, "Definitly, he kicks all night." She looked up at him, her face surprisingly vulnerable, "If we don't stop Dante, then this baby won't have a chance."  
  
"We'll stop him," Spike said.  
  
"Is there something you're not telling us?" Buffy asked. "Something about that night?" She could tell that he wasn't telling the whole story.  
  
"I've told you everything you need to know," Spike said.  
  
Buffy accepted that. She knew that there were things about Spike that she didn't know, things that he'd done in the past. It was a different time, almost a different person and right now she didn't have the time or energy to argue about it. Spike wasn't going to risk her life, the baby's or even his own by withholding something important.  
  
There was a flurry of activity over at the table. Spike and Buffy joined them to see what was going on.  
  
"We found something," Dawn said.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"There's some mention of the stone that can defeat Dante," Giles explained. "It says that the powers given to the Slayer were taken from her and put into a stone."  
  
"Which we already knew," Spike said. "Tell us something we don't."  
  
"It says that the stone was hidden away. There's a vague reference to it appearing in Cleopatra's court. There's no mention of it after that."  
  
"Any description?" Buffy asked.  
  
Giles pointed to a drawing in the book. The stone was large and round. There was no reference of what color or what size the stone actually was.  
  
"Great," Anya said, moving from her perch on the stairs. "That tells us...nothing."  
  
"It tells us something," Willow said. "At least we have an idea of what to look for." She glanced at Anya, "Do you know anything about this?"  
  
"Why should I?" Anya asked.  
  
"You're a 1000 year old ex-demon," Willow pointed out. "Didn't the name Dante ever come up?"  
  
"No," Anya said. "And before you ask I don't know anything about that stone either."  
  
"What exactly is this stone supposed to do?" Dawn asked.  
  
"It holds the power that was used to originally defeat Dante," Giles said. "If Dante is exposed to that stone the same power will destroy him once and for all."  
  
"Couldn't we try to call the power of the past Slayers like we did before," Xander suggested. "Wouldn't that work the same as the stone?"  
  
"No," Giles said. "According to this only the stone will destroy him."  
  
"And no one knows how to find it," Willow said. "What if we did some kind of tracking spell? Something that could lead us right to where the stone is. If we followed it then we could stay ahead of Dante and maybe find the stone in time."  
  
"Good theory," Anya said. "Except for that stone is probably buried somewhere in Europe or Africa. How are we supposed to get to it in time?"  
  
"We can teleport," Willow said, excitedly. "I've studied the technique and I think I can do it."  
  
"Willow," Tara said, cautiously. "I don't think that's a good idea. You've never tried that before and it would take more magic than you're supposed to use."  
  
Willow shook her head, "We don't have time to worry about that. If I can teleport to that stone we'll have it and be able to stop Dante in time."  
  
"No," Tara insisted. "It's too dangerous."  
  
"What other choice do we have?" Willow asked. "We have no idea where this stone is and the blocking and protection spell isn't going to last forever."  
  
"We can run," Anya suggested. "Dante can't be up to full power yet. If he had then he'd already be here. If we put some distance between us and Dante then we might be able to buy some time."  
  
"That's not a bad idea," Xander said. "But where would we run to?"  
  
"Los Angeles," Spike said. He hated the idea but had no choice. "Angel knows the legend a little better than I do and he has other resources that we don't." He gestured to Andrew and Jonathan, "We have their van and we could be there in three hours."  
  
Giles nodded, "I hate to admit it but we're in over our heads here. We need more help." He looked around, "Any objections?"  
  
No one objected. Even Willow had to admit that Anya's idea made the most sense. They needed help and Angel was probably the only one who could help. None of them really wanted to run but they'd already tried everything that they knew.  
  
"Let's go then," Spike said. He wasn't in any hurry to see Angel again but he was anxious to put some between them and Dante.  
  
"Wait," Buffy said. She had been strangely quiet during most of the discussion. She'd wandered over to the counter and was leaning against it, her hands on her stomach.  
  
Spike hurried to her side, "Luv, what's wrong?"  
  
Buffy let out the breath she had been holding, looked up and said, "Nothing, let's go."  
  
"You sure?" Spike asked.  
  
"I'm sure," Buffy snapped. "Let's go."  
  
She brushed past Spike and stormed out of the Magic Box. Willow quickly lowered the barrier before Buffy could reach it. Then she and everyone else hurried after her, carrying books and other magic supplies they might need. Spike ran outside, covering himself with a blanket, and jumped into the back of the van.  
  
Spike sat down on the floor behind the driver's seat and Buffy sat down next to him. Giles climbed into the driver's seat, with Xander in the passenger's seat. Anya sat on the floor behind him. Willow and Tara sat towards the back of the van with Dawn. Jonathan and Andrew were cowering in the farthest corner.  
  
"Everyone ready?" Giles asked. He didn't wait for an answer. He started the van and drove as fast as he could in the direction of Los Angeles. 


	69. The Nightmare That Goes On

I have a challenge for my readers. I still haven't decided on a name for Spike and Buffy's baby. I have a few ideas but nothing set in stone. So if you can think of a good name, send it to me. My only requirements are that it has to fit into the story and make sense for them to pick that name.  
  
Chapter Sixty-Nine: The Nightmare that Goes On  
  
Spike leaned back against the wall of the van. They'd been traveling for two hours. Giles had been driving as fast he could. Xander was in the passenger's seat next to him. He wasn't carsick as he'd been on their last flight from a demon. Anya was sitting behind Xander, across from Spike and Buffy. Anya was curled up in a ball, her arms around her stomach and her eyes shut. Spike knew that she wasn't feeling well but he was more concerned about Buffy.  
  
Buffy was resting against him, her head on his shoulder. Spike had one arm around her shoulders and the other one resting on her stomach. Suddenly she inhaled sharply, buried her face in Spike's shirt, one hand gripped his shirt while the other one tightened around her stomach. Spike had his hand on her stomach too and he felt the familiar tensing of Buffy's stomach muscles. He moved his hand over to hold her hand. She grabbed onto it and held on with a grip that almost crushed his hand. Then slowly both her grip and the contraction eased.  
  
Buffy let out the breath that she had been holding. She looked up at Spike, a question on her face.  
  
"Steady at 15," Spike said, softly enough so that only she could hear. He'd been monitoring the time between contractions using the clock on the van. "Want to pull over?"  
  
"No," Buffy said, quietly. Spike had asked that question after every contraction from the moment he'd known that she was having them. She kept insisting that they keep going. They weren't very far from L.A. now and there was still time before the baby would be born. "We'll make it," She told Spike.  
  
"You're sure?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "He has your patience and your sense of timing, though. Only your son would decide to be born in the middle of an apocalypse."  
  
"He wants to get in on all the action," Spike said, smiling in spite of the situation. "Gets that from you."  
  
"What are you two talking about?" Dawn asked. Spike and Buffy had been talking quietly so that no one would hear what they were saying. Buffy didn't want anyone to know that she'd gone into labor.  
  
"Nothing for your ears, Nibblet," Spike said. Dawn was sitting in a corner of the van with Tara and Willow. They were looking through some books that they'd brought with them from the Magic Box. Spike nodded towards them, "You found anything new?" "No," Willow said. "There's no reference to Dante in any of these books. They don't mention the stone either."  
  
Tara looked at Spike, "Did Dante ever use a different name or was he ever called by something different?"  
  
Spike tried hard to think, "I don't know," He admitted. He only knew that basics of the legend and the rest was lost in a haze of alcohol.  
  
Willow hesitated and then said, "Spike, I know you said that I couldn't pull the memory from your mind, but what about hypnotizing you? You might remember something that you forgot."  
  
"No," Spike said. "We're not far from L.A. and once we get there Angel can tell you what he knows."  
  
"But..." Willow started to protest.  
  
"No," Spike said. Then he felt Buffy stiffen, her hand grab his and she buried her face in his shirt. Spike quickly said, "Why don't you ask them?" He pointed to Andrew and Jonathan, cowering in another corner of the van.  
  
His distraction worked. Willow, Tara and Dawn turned their attention to seeing if there was anything they remembered. Buffy was able to get through the contraction without anyone noticing what was going on.  
  
After it was over Buffy looked at Spike for the time and he said, "10 minutes, luv, sure you don't want to pull over at the next town?"  
  
"No," Buffy insisted. "We're almost there now."  
  
Spike started to object but then stopped. She was right. They weren't that far from L.A.  
  
The van hit a bump. The shocks weren't very good so every bump in the road was felt and this one had been bad. Buffy winced and Anya moaned loudly, not even opening her eyes.  
  
"Anya?" Xander asked, turning around in the seat to see if she was alright. "Are you okay?"  
  
Anya slowly opened her eyes and looked up, "If Dante showed up right now, I'd say, kill me now."  
  
"Since when do you get carsick?" Xander asked.  
  
"It started around the time..."Anya started to say but then she was interrupted.  
  
"I found something," Willow said, excitedly. She pointed to a page in a book she was holding.  
  
"What'd you find, Will?" Xander asked. Anya was forgotten in the excitement. She shut her eyes and stayed curled into a ball, trying to fit the nausea.  
  
Willow looked at the book in front of her, "It's talking about the stone but it's using a different names." She looked at Spike, "Did Angel ever say anything about Dante going by another name?  
  
"Not to me," Spike said. He started to say more but then Buffy dug her nails into his hand as another contraction hit. Everyone was focused on Willow and the book she was holding. That combined with the darkness of the van kept anyone from noticing what was happening. . After the contraction was over Spike reported back that they were still 10 minutes. But both Buffy and Spike knew that they couldn't hide what was happening for much longer.  
  
"Does it say anything about the stone?" Dawn asked, bending over the book with Willow and Tara. They had been reading Willow's book, trying to find what Willow was pointing out.  
  
"This talks about the stone, but it call Dante by another name," Willow explaned.  
  
"What name?" Tara asked.  
  
"It refers to the stone but uses the name Grendel," Willow explained.  
  
"What?!" Giles said, taking his eyes off the road to stare at Willow. "What did you just say?"  
  
"I said that Dante's been called Grendel too," Willow started to say. Then she let out a cry, "Watch out!"  
  
Giles quickly turned back to the road and saw that he had drifted onto the other side of the road. He jerked on the wheel just in time to avoid an oncoming car. He overcorrected and the van drove off the road. It came to a stop several yards from the road, almost hitting a rock formation. Giles turned off the engine and turned around, "What did you say?" He asked Willow.  
  
Spike swore, "Bloody hell, Watcher, why don't you watch where the hell you're going?" He looked down at Buffy, "You okay?"  
  
Buffy nodded, "I think so." She looked over at Giles, "What happened?"  
  
Giles had not taken his eyes off of Willow, "What did you say his other name was?" Giles asked, his face turning pale.  
  
"Grendel," Willow said, rubbing her arm where she'd banged it when the van had swerved.  
  
"What's the difference?" Spike said. "Dante, Grendel, it's all the same. Now let's get out of here before he finds us."  
  
"I didn't know," Giles said, almost to himself. "If they're the same then he must have been....it couldn't be....no...oh no.."  
  
"Would you stop babbling and tell us what's going on?" Spike asked. "And let's get going. If we stay here too long then Dante, Grendel or whatever the hell his name is going to find us."  
  
"What does the name Grendel mean?" Willow asked.  
  
"Grendel was the name used in a ghost story that we used to tell at the Watcher's Academy," Giles said. "It was used to scare the younger students but even the older ones respected the legend. It's almost the same story as Spike told us just a few details missing. We all thought that it was some story used to frighten us. I never really believed it and I had forgotten it until now."  
  
"Does knowing that he used the name Grendel help us find that stone?" Tara asked Willow.  
  
Willow shook her head, "All that's here is the same story, only using both names."  
  
"So all we've accomplished is scaring us more than we already are," Anya snapped. "And we could have been killed when Giles decided to play chicken."  
  
No one said anything. They all knew deep down that Anya was right but no one wanted to admit it. Giles quietly turned to face the road and tried to start the engine. It sputtered a few times and then died.  
  
"What's wrong with this thing?" Xander asked. He looked at Jonathan and Andrew. It was their van. If there was something wrong then they should know about it.  
  
"It might be out of gas," Andrew suggested.  
  
"Impossible," Giles said. "There's still a half a tank left."  
  
"The gauge's broken," Andrew admitted. "And we didn't fill it this week because we thought that Drusilla was going to turn us into vampire gods and we wouldn't need a van."  
  
"Great," Spike said. "We're stuck out in the middle of no where because these two gits thought that Drusilla would make them vampires and they wouldn't need a van. Don't they know that vampires need wheels too?"  
  
"We'll deal with them later," Buffy said quietly. "We have other things to deal with right now."  
  
"Like a demon-god who wants to kill us all," Anya said. She was still laying on the floor of the van. Her face had lost its green tinge since they'd stopped moving but she was still very pale.  
  
"That too," Buffy agreed. "That and my water just broke." 


	70. Wonderful and New

I just want to apologize for taking so long with this chapter. I've been very busy with school and work (I have rent to pay and a cat to support.) I also have been struggling with this chapter. There's been a combination of wanting it to be perfect plus computer glitches. But this is the finished product. I hope that you enjoy it!

**Chapter Seventy: Wonderful and New**

No one spoke. They all just stared at Buffy, trying to process what she had just said. If the situation hadn't been so serious Spike would have enjoyed seeing all the Scoobies speechless for once.

"Ah....Are..are you sure?" Xander asked, the first to recover his voice

Buffy glared at him and then gestured to her damp clothes and spreading wetness on the van floor.

"Ew," Andrew said. "That's going to stain isn't it?"

"Yeah," Jonathan said. "Amniotic fluid never comes out."

Spike glanced at Andrew and Jonathan, vamped out and then went back to normal. The sight of Spike's vampire face shut Andrew and Jonathan up completely. With them taken care of he turned his attention back to Buffy.

"When did the contractions start?" asked Tara, moving forward and kneeling in front of Buffy.

Buffy hesitated, then said, "At the Magic Box, while you guys were looking for stuff on Dante."

"Why didn't you anything?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses. He'd been cleaning his glasses non-stop since Buffy had announced that her water had broken.

"When would have been a good time?" Buffy asked. "We're in the middle of....Ah," Buffy wasn't about to stifle a cry when a contraction caught her off guard. She shut her eyes and held onto Spike's hand as tightly as she could.

"Easy luv," Spike said, trying to ignore his crushed hand. He used his other hand to brush her hair back from her face. "Just breathe."

Everyone just watched awkwardly, not sure of what to do, except Tara. She looked at her watch and once the contraction eased asked Buffy, "How far apart are they?"

Buffy shook her head. Timing the contractions had not been her job. Spike answered, "Seven minutes now."

Buffy glanced up at him, "They're coming really fast," She gasped. She looked around at the van, "And I am not having my baby in this van."

"The nearest town is four miles away," Xander said, looking at the map. "One of us could walk there and get help."

"Good idea," Giles said. "We can get gas for the van and the town might have a doctor."

"Go now then," Buffy said, leaning back against Spike, her hands on her stomach. "Because I don't know if this baby's going's to wait much longer."

"I'll go," Giles said. "You need Willow and Tara here for protection. Dawn's too young, Anya's not up to it and Spike can't walk that far in daylight."

"What about me?" Xander asked. "I can go."

Giles eyed him, "I thought that you'd want to stay with your wife." He gestured to Anya. She was sitting up but still pale.

"One of you just go," Buffy snapped. "I told you that this baby is not going to wait."

Giles got out of the car, "I'll be back as quickly as I can," He told them and then he was gone.

"What now?" Willow asked. "What if Giles doesn't get back in time and where is the baby going to be born. You said that you don't want him born in this van and who's going to deliver him and..."

"I will," Tara said, interrupting Willow's nervous babble.

"What?" Buffy asked. "You can't deliver a baby."

"While you were gone I talked to some...legitimate midwife friends. I read everything I could find and sat in on a birth," Tara explained. "I thought that something like this might happen and I wanted to be prepared."

"Good," Buffy said. "But I still don't want to have my baby in this van." She glared at Andrew and Jonathan who were still cowering in the corner. "Who knows what's been in this thing."

Xander pointed out the van window, "I think there's a cave there," He pointed to the rock formation that they'd nearly crashed into. Xander jumped out of the van, was gone for a minute and then returned. "There's a cave in there, big enough for all of us."

"Can you still walk?" Tara asked, eying the distance from the van to the cave entrance. Buffy could probably make it. Even if she couldn't walk, Spike could carry her.

"I think so," Buffy said. She started to feel the now familiar ache in her back that signaled the start of a contraction. She was still holding Spike's hand and she tightened her grip as the contraction hit full force. She bit her lip, trying to stifle a scream.

"Don't try to be brave," Spike said, softly. "Yell all you want."

"Shut up," Buffy gasped, her eyes squeezed shut. "Just shut up!"

Spike obeyed and didn't say another word until the contraction passed. Once it did Buffy fell back against him, gasping.

"Okay," Tara said. "Let's go." She wanted to get Buffy settled in the cave before the next contraction and Tara wasn't sure how long they had.

With Spike's help Buffy was able to get out of the van and walk as best she could towards the cave. Spike was able to avoid the sun by staying in the van and cave's shadows. He also had covered his head with his blanket. Once they were inside the cave Spike spread his blanket on the floor and helped Buffy to lay down on it before he sat down next to her.

"Nice cave," Andrew said, entering the cave with Jonathan. "Are there bats here?"

Buffy looked up at them, "Get out."

"Buffy," Jonathan started to say. "We're so sorry....."

"Shut up," Buffy snapped, sitting up with Spike's help and leaning against the cave wall for support. "And get out."

"But.." Andrew started to say.

"You heard the lady," Xander said, helping Anya walk into the cave. "Wait with the van."

"And hope Dante doesn't find you," Willow said, glaring at them.

Andrew and Jonathan quickly hurried out as everyone else settled into the cave. The cave was not large but enough to hold all of them. Willow quickly cast a blocking and protection spell and stood at the mouth of the cave to maintain it and keep watch. Dawn stood near the entrance of the cave, helping Willow to keep watch. Anya sat down on the cave floor across from Buffy, her hands resting on her stomach. Xander sat down next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. Tara set down several bottles of water that she'd taken from the van's small fridge and knelt in front of Buffy.

"Buffy," Tara said. "Can I check you, to see how dilated you are and if the baby's in the right position?"

Buffy hesitated but nodded. Right now Tara was the only one there with any idea of how to deliver her baby. She let Tara help her undress from the waist down while Spike tore part of the blanket away so that she could drape it over her legs for modesty. Once that was done Tara carefully examined her.

"Okay," Tara said. "The baby's in the right position and you're at eight centimeters, so you have two more to go before you can start pushing."

"How long's that going to be?" Buffy gasped as she tried to breath through a contraction.

Tara shook her head, "It's up to the baby. He'll go at his own pace."

Buffy glared at her but didn't say anything. She just leaned back against the cave wall and shut her eyes, preparing for the next contraction.

They were all silent for a minute and then Anya spoke, "What's it like?"

Buffy opened her eyes, "What?"

"Labor," Anya said. "What's it like? How bad does it hurt and what kind of pain is it? Is it cramping like your period or is it more like someone's stabbing you with a knife or..."

"Shut up!" Willow said, turning from her vigil at the mouth of the cave. Buffy was about to answer Anya but Willow had interrupted her. "Leave her alone."

"I was just asking," Anya protested, tears coming to her eyes.

"Will, it's okay," Buffy said. Talking to Anya might distract her from the pain.

"No, it's not okay," Willow said. "You need to concentrate on having your baby, not on Anya's constant need to know things."

"I just..." Anya started to say, blinking back tears. She looked over at Xander for support.

"Will's right," Xander said. "You can talk to Buffy about what it's like later."

Anya looked around, hoping for some kind of support from the rest but everyone was distracted. Spike and Tara were helping Buffy to breathe through a contraction and Dawn was still watching for any sign of danger or of Giles's return. Anya looked back at Xander, tried to speak, stopped and then moved further back into the cave where she laid down and watched what was going on.

Spike glanced over at Anya and shook his head. When this was over he was going to tell Xander a few things but now wasn't the time. He turned his attention back to Buffy.

"You're doing great," Tara said. "It probably won't be much longer."

"I hope not," Buffy gasped, collapsing back against the cave wall. "Because I want this baby out..now!"

"He'll be here soon enough, luv," Spike said, knowing that whatever he said would be wrong.

Buffy didn't disappoint, "No," She gasped. "I mean right now! I need to push!"

"Don't!" Tara said, quickly. "You're not fully dilated yet and if you push it'll hurt the baby. You just have to hang on a little longer."

"Easy for you to say," Buffy snapped. "And don't you dare say anything," She said, turning her wrath onto Spike. "Or I'll make you beg for death..."

Spike for once in his life kept his mouth shut. He used his free hand to brush her hair back from Buffy's forehead but quickly withdrew it when she ordered him not to touch her.

"You're almost there," Tara soothed.

"I'm there," Buffy gasped, bracing herself against the cave wall, her eyes shut. "It feels different.. there's all this pressure...."

"Okay," Tara said, quickly checking Buffy. "You're fully dilated. On the next contraction I want you to take a deep breath and then push until I tell you to stop."

Buffy nodded and gripped Spike's hand tighter while he slid his arm around her shoulders for support. She could already feel the beginnings of a contraction. She took a deep breath and pushed as hard as she could while Tara counted to ten.

As soon as Tara reached ten, she told Buffy to stop pushing. Buffy fell back against Spike, and gasping.

"You're doing great," Tara assured her. "You're almost there."

Buffy nodded, "I hope so because...." She was cut off as another contraction hit. Buffy let out a scream that ended when a small form slid into Tara's waiting hands.

Buffy collapsed against Spike, gasping for breath and trying to catch a glimpse of the baby as Tara tended to him.

"Is he alright?" Spike asked, also straining for a glimpse of his son. "He's all blue and white....

"He's fine," Tara assured them as she washed the baby. "They all look like that." She quickly wrapped him in a jacket donated by Dawn and handed him to his mother. "He's perfect."

Buffy stared down at her son, not sure of what to do next. She reached over and touched his hand. With quick reflexes he grabbed onto her finger and held tight. Buffy stared into his vivid blue eyes and felt a primitive rush of love and protectiveness that she'd never felt before. Until this moment she hadn't known how much she loved her son. She'd already begun to love him but nothing she'd ever felt compared to this moment.

Buffy turned from her son to look at Spike, to see if he was as stunned as she was. He was staring down at their son with an expression of wonder and disbelief. He reached down and gently touched the baby's cheek. "He's perfect," Spike said, softly.

"Of course he is," Buffy said, blinking back tears as she turned back to her son. Now that she could study him more closely she could easily see that he was the image of his father. He had Spike's blue eyes and as the baby's hair dried it was already beginning to curl. His face was red, his head was pointed, and Spike had been right, he was perfect.

Buffy looked up as Spike and quietly handed him the baby. As much as she hated to have him out of her arms for a second she knew that Spike deserved his chance to hold his son.

Spike stared down at his son, with a slight grin on his face. The baby was also staring up at his father, studying him in the same way. Then he yawned, stretched and closed his eyes. Spike smiled and gently kissed the baby on his forehead, all the time wondering how something _he_ had helped create could be so perfect and wonderful.

He looked back at Buffy, and was about to thank her for this perfect little person when he saw that she'd fallen asleep. Spike leaned down, kissed her on the temple and turned his attention back to the baby. Spike would let her sleep, the others deal with the outside world, for now he just wanted to get acquainted with his son.


	71. No Comfort, No Escape

I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out. I've been very busy with school but now that finals are over I was able to finish the chapter.

**Chapter Seventy-One: No Comfort, No Escape**

Buffy opened her eyes and glanced around, not sure of where she was. She automatically reached down to touch her stomach, felt the flatness of it and it all came flooding back to her. She sat up quickly, wincing as she did so, and looked around for her baby.

She didn't have far to look, nearby sat Spike, holding the baby with one arm while dangling something shiny over him. Dawn was kneeling next the Spike and the baby, cooing to her new nephew. They both looked in her direction.

"You okay?" Spike asked.

Buffy nodded. She was sore and tired but nothing she couldn't handle. She glanced out the mouth of the cave and saw it was dark out. "How long have I been asleep?"

Spike shrugged, "Doesn't matter, none of us was going anywhere."

"Giles isn't back yet?" Buffy asked, surprised and concerned.

Spike shut his eyes, waited for something and then opened them when it didn't happen. Then he said carefully, "No, not yet. We figure he'll be back soon." He gave her a look that told her not to say anything else.

Buffy nodded, "Ok," She said. "How's my baby?"

"He has no appreciation for fine things," Spike said, grinning. He held up the object he'd been holding, his mother's necklace. "Showed him this and he went right to sleep."

Buffy smiled, reached over and picked up her son. She looked down and studied him. He was sleeping with his little fists around his head. His face was still red but his hair had dried and was now wisps of dark blond curls.

"What's his name?" Dawn asked.

Buffy glanced at Spike and then at Dawn, "We haven't picked one out yet."

"You should," Dawn said. "We can't just keep calling him 'Baby'."

"He'll have a name," Spike promised, stroking his son's head. "We'll think of something." He tossed his mother's necklace into the air and caught it.

"What are you doing with that?" Buffy asked. "I thought I left it in my dresser."

Spike grinned, "Luv, I've carried this around for over a hundred years. Do you think I'm going to face an apocalypse without my good luck charm?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and glanced around the cave, remembering that her friends were still here. Willow and Tara were standing at the mouth of the cave, keeping watch. Xander sat on the floor of the cave, also staring out the mouth of the cave, watching for anything that might be out there. Anya had moved from the back of the cave and was pacing around the cave, occasionally glaring at Willow.

"Any signs of Dante?" Buffy asked, her arms tightening around her son.

Willow glanced over at them and shook her head, "There's no sign of anything out there."

"And we're just sitting here!" Anya snapped. She stopped pacing and glared at Willow.

"Anya," Xander said, slowly. "We've been waiting because…"

Anya shook her head impatiently, "Buffy's awake now."

"But Giles isn't back yet," Xander pointed out. "So we don't have gas for the van and no other way to get anywhere."

"We have feet," Anya snapped. "We can walk to the nearest town."

"Right," Willow said, angrily. "We're supposed to walk four miles with a newborn baby."

"We'll carry him," Anya said. Then she added, "And Buffy too."

"It's too dangerous to take a newborn out there."

"No more dangerous than sitting around here, waiting for Dante to find us."

Buffy glanced over at Spike and whispered, "How long had this been going on?"

Spike rolled his eyes and said, "Too long, they're been doing this since you fell asleep."

Buffy shook her head, started to speak, then realized that everyone was staring at her, "What?" She asked.

"We were wondering what you thought," Willow said. "Should we stay here or should we try to walk to town?"

Buffy hesitated and looked down at the infant in her arms. She didn't know if taking him out into the night would be safe but she also didn't want to wait here for Dante to find them. If they could get to town then maybe they would be able to find a car and get to L.A. before Dante found them but there was also the risk to the baby…

"I don't know," She finally said.

Anya began to pace around the cave again, "We can't just stay here and do nothing," She insisted, glancing at Dawn, the baby, and only Spike saw her eyes flicker down to look at her stomach. "There are children we have to protect."

"Hey," Dawn protested at being called a child.

Buffy ignored Dawn and nodded, "I know, but what happens if we take him out into the night? We don't' know what's out there. At least here we can protect him."

"But if Dante finds us, then we're helpless," Anya said, tears coming to her eyes.

"That's what the shielding spells are for," Willow pointed out. "They're hiding us from him."

"For how long?" ANya asked. "We're talking about a demon so terrible that even the most evil beings in this dimension were afraid of him. Do you really think a shielding spell will stop him for long?"

No one said anything for a long time. Finally Willow said quietly and finally, "We're staying here until Giles gets back."

Anya looked at Spike, hoping for some support from him. Spike looked away. He understood that she was scared but he didn't know what to do either. He didn't like just sitting out waiting for the Watcher but he also wasn't too excited about taking his son out into the desert at night. There was no way that they would be able to protect Buffy, the baby and Anya all at the same time if a really nasty demon found them before Dante did. Most of their weapons had been left behind at the Magic Box in the rush to leave, Spike doubted there was a single stake amongst them. Plus he knew that the desert nights could get cold and it wasn't a good idea for a newborn to be taken out into a cold night. If it were just him and Buffy taking the risk he would barely hesitate but now….

Anya stared at Spike, realizing that he was not going to back her up. She glared at him and turned to Xander, "Let's go."

"What?" Xander said, standing up.

"You and me," Anya said. "Let's just go. We can make it to town and send someone to pick the others up."

"That's what Giles is doing, An," Xander pointed out.

"And he's been gone for hours," Anya snapped. "For all we know Dante's already gotten to him and…"

"Shut up," Willow yelled at Anya.

"For once in your life stay out of this," Anya yelled back. She turned away from Willow and to Xander. "Let's go, just the two of us. We can't just wait here to be found. If we leave we might have a chance…"

Xander shook his, "I can't go. I can't just abandon my friends. They're the only real family I've ever had.

"We're a family too," Anya pleaded, tears running down her cheeks. "You, me and...and…we're our own family. I'm your wife, your partner, the…." Anya stopped and then continued, "Please, I am begging you. For once in your life, pick me over your friends."

Xander was silent for a long time. The only sound in the cave was the noises the baby made as he slept. Everyone was watching, waiting to see what would happen. Finally he said, "I'm sorry An, but I have to stay."

Anya stared at him, then her face hardened and she said, "Fine, you can stay if you want but I'm getting out of here." She walked towards the mouth of the cave, "Let me out," She demanded.

"No," Willow said. "I can't lift the spell. If I do Dante might sense that we're here and he'd find us."

"It's only a few seconds," Anya protested. "And once I get to town I'll find Giles and send someone for you."

"A few seconds is too long so you're not going anywhere," Willow insisted. "You're not getting us all killed because of your selfishness."

"I'm trying to protect my.."

"What?" Willow asked, interrupting Anya. "Your own skin? You're going to abandon your husband and friends because all you care about is saving your own neck."

"Let me out now," Anya said, trying to ignore what Willow was saying. "I'm not going to stay here and wait."

"You're staying here, whether you like it or not."

Willow raised her hands. Spike realized what she was about to do and yelled for her to stop but he was too late, Willow was already shouting the incantation.

The stunning spell hit Anya full force. All that she was able to move were her eyes. They were flickering all over the cave, pleading for help as she realized what had happened.

"Let her go," Spike said, frantically.

"Not until she agrees to stay," Willow said.

"Willow," Tara said. "This isn't the way…" But Willow didn't listen. She just stared into Anya's eyes.

"Tell her to lift the spell," Spike yelled at Xander. "She might listen to you."

Xander didn't answer. He just stared back and forth between Anya and Willow.

"Are you staying?" Willow asked Anya in cool voice. "Blink once for yes, twice for no. I'll lift the spell only if you stay."

Anya slowly closed her eyes and as she opened them a single tear trickled down her cheek. Willow smiled triumphantly and lifted the spell. As soon as it was lifted Anya fell to the ground like a rag doll and lay motionless.

Willow looked surprised at Anya's collapse, "That's never happened before. I wander…"

What Willow was wondering they never found out. At that very moment the ground began to shake. Spike pulled one arm over Dawn and the other over Buffy and the baby as rocks began to fall around them.

"What's happening?" Dawn asked.

Spike lifted his head and saw it. Off in the distance was a green glow. It began moving closer and closer. Before Spike could even yell out a warning the light was at the mouth of the cave. There was a loud bang and half the cave was gone in an instant, throwing Willow, Tara and Xander back onto the floor of the cave, Anya remained where she had fallen. And only a few feet away from her, laughing triumphantly stood Dante.


	72. Destiny Beckoned

I'm sorry that it took so long for this chapter. Everytime I sat down to write I heard a voice(that sounded just like my mother's) asking me why I wasn't studying or working on a paper. So now that finals are over, I can write guilt-free.

This story is not abandoned. There is still more to come and I hope to update a little more now that I'm on summer break.

**Chapter Seventy-Two: Destiny Beckoned**

Never before and never again, would Spike feel the kind of fear that he felt that night. He'd cut a swath across continents, hung out with the lowest of the low, been tortured by the best of them, but none of that even came close to fear that he felt when Dante appeared at the mouth of the cave.

Dante stood there at the mouth of the cave, laughing. His laughter startled the baby who immediately began to cry. Buffy hugged him close, rocking him and trying to quiet him. They were in enough danger as it was, there was no need to draw Dante's attention towards the baby.

Dante stopped laughing and looked around the cave. Spike shuddered at the skull face as he watched them. The cave was completely silent, except for the baby's muffled cries. Then Dante spoke, in a voice that Spike had only heard in nightmares that he didn't even want to remember, "Powerful magic here." He looked around the cave again and this time his gaze landed on Willow, who had gotten to her feet and stood prepared to fight if needed. "Such power for something so small and human," He stretched out a skeletal hand towards her, "But that can be changed."

"Get out of here," Willow said, through gritted teeth.

Dante laughed, a horrible laugh that would echo through the nightmares of all who heard it, and said, "You naïve child, you think to banish ME? I've conquered dimensions, destroyed worlds," His voice sank to a terrifying whisper, "And done evils that your mind can't begin to comprehende."

Spike was crouched behind Buffy, Dawn and the baby. He'd been sheltering them from falling rock when Dante had arrived and hadn't moved since. He leaned forward and whispered into Buffy's ear, "Run."

"What?" She whispered back, not taking her eyes off Dante.

"Run," Spike repeated. "Take the bits and run as fast as you can. We might be able to hold him off until you can get to L.A."

Buffy nodded. She was still in pain and weak from the baby's birth but she knew that they had a better chance if they ran. And if it came down to it, she would insist that Dawn take the baby and leave her behind. Dante was not going to harm a hair on her baby's head, not as long as she was alive. She slowly began to move, trying not to attract Dante's attention. Buffy placed her hand on Dawn's arm and whispered, "When I say the word, run."

Buffy had just tightened her arms around her baby and was about to move into a crouch when a green jet of light hit inches away from her foot. She let out a cry and the baby began to wail.

Dante lowered his staff and eyed her, "You're not going anywhere, Slayer. You and I have unfinished business." He turned back to Willow, "I'll deal with them later but first…"

"Leave," Willow ordered, her eyes had turned black and there was an aura of power radiating from her. Tara stood behind her. Tara wasn't nearly as powerful as Willow but she was prepared to fight if needed.

"Bind your powers to mine," Dante continued, as if Willow had not spoken. "You do not realize the power that you can achieve. Join your powers to mine and you will discover such things as you cannot imagine."

"Never," Willow said.

"The process has already begun," Dante told her. "I see your thoughts, you've already harmed others in your quest for power."

"But not..not intentionally," Willow stammered, thinking of Dawn's broken arm.

"Intentions do not matter," Dante replied. "Your deeds are what are important. You've already made the sacrifice required of you to join me."

Willow looked at him, confused. She could not think of any kind of sacrifice that she would make for evil.

Spike glanced over at Anya, who was still laying on the floor of the cave. She had not moved since the stunning spell had been lifted and Spike couldn't even tell if she was conscious or not. But he had an idea of what Willow's sacrifie had been.

"There is no going back," Dante continued. "Not when you've destroyed something so pure and innocent."

"I haven't…." Willow started to say.

"Don't deny it you foolish child," Dante told her. "You've started down a path that leads only one way, as my servant."

"No," Willow said, "I'll never serve you."

Dante shot a blast of green light that threw Willow backwards. Willow fell to the ground but the defiant expression never left her face.

"This is your last chance," Dante warned, aiming that staff at her. "I could have destroyed everyone here many times over but I offered you the choice to live, adding your powers to mine, serving me with ultimate power over all as a reward." Willow didn't answer so Dante added, "The type of power you've never dreamt of, everything you've ever wanted."

"No," Willow insisted. "Not that kind of power."

"Then you will watch the whole world die," Dante said, his voice raising in anger. "And then suffer agonies you can't imagine, until you beg me for death." He turned towards Buffy, "And I'll start with the Slayer." He pointed his staff at both Dawn and Buffy. "The slayer blood is in both of you, which one of you dies first?"

"Neither," Spike said, standing in front of them.

Dante eyed Spike, "A vampiure protecting a slayer, things have changed in the past millennium."

"Welcome to the 21st century," Spike snapped with a bravado that he didn't feel.

"I've let vampires live in the past," Dante observed. "But you, there's not enough evil left in you to bother with."

"What?" Spike said, trying to distract Dante from Buffy and Dawn. "Not enough evil? I'm evil, just ask around." He looked around the cave, "Tell him, tell him how evil I am."

"Spike," Buffy said. "This is not the time…."

"It doesn't matter," Dante told her. "Soon you'll be dead, this dimension will belong to me and more will soon fall."

"You've been stopped before," Buffy said.

"You don't have the power to stop me," Dante informed her. "Even with your witch, you can't. There is only one thing that can defeat me and that has been lost in the mists of time."

Spike suddenly winced. His hand felt like it was on fire. He looked down and realized that he was still holding his mother's necklace. A closer glance showed something strange. The center gem, a large sapphire was glowing. Spike stared at it, was it possible, could this cherished keepsake of from his mother be…..

Spike didn't think. He instantly raised his arm, pointing the glowing stone at Dante. Dante laiughed, not seeing what Spike was holding and shot out a jet of green light at Spike. At the same instant a jet of blue-white light shot out from the stone. The two lights and for an instant they both hung in mid-air but soon the light coming from the stone in Spike's hand began to move towards Dante, pushing the green light back. The stone burned Spike's hand but he held on, pointing it at Dante who was trying to pull his staff out of the hold of the blue-white light. Spike was vaguely aware of voices around him but he paid them no attention, all he could focus on was making sure the blue-white light was steady. Soon the light reached Dante's staff and surrounded it, the light continued until it completely surrounded Dante. Dante let out a horrible scream that lasted until the light consumed him completely. There was a great explosion and Spike was thrown backwards as what was left of the cave disappeared. He hit the ground and lay there for a minute and when he raised his head all that was left of Dante was black ground where he had stood.


	73. This Was Unexpected

**Chapter Seventy-Three: This Was Unexpected**

Spike struggled to his feet, ignoring the burning pain in his hand as he looked around what had previously been the cave. Rocks, dust and debris were scattered everywhere except for a large black spot on the ground where Dante had been.

"Buffy! Dawn!" Spike yelled. He used every bit of his vampire hearing to listen for them. If anything had happened to them or the baby…..

"Over here," Buffy called, coughing from the settling dust.

Spike ran to her side and helped her to her feet, "Are you okay?" He asked, scanning her and looking for any signs of injuries. "The bit?" He looked down at the baby in Buffy's arms and saw that the baby was looking right back at him.

"He's fine," Buffy assured him. She looked over at Dawn who was struggling to her feet. "We were able to keep anything from hitting him but," Buffy kissed her son on his head. "He's still had a pretty rough day."

"Haven't we all?" Spike said, helping Dawn to stand up. He inspected both Buffy and Dawn. They both had cuts and bruises but appeared to be free of any major injuries.

"Is everyone else okay?" Buffy asked, looking around what had been the cave.

"We are," Tara said, coughing as she and Willow pushed debris and rocks off themselves as they got to their feet. "Just a little banged up."

"I'll live," Xander said, standing up and brushing the dirt off of himself. He looked around, "Anya?"

Everyone looked to where Anya had fallen. She still lay there, motionless. Unlike the rest of them she wasn't covered in debris. The blast from when Dante had been destroyed had blown any debris covering her away.

"Anya," Xander cried. He ran to her and knelt down beside her. "Honey, can you hear me?"

Anya moaned but didn't move. Tara quickly knelt beside Xander and ran her hands over Anya's head.

"It doesn't feel like a head injury," Tara said. "Her pupils are normal too." She checked Anya's chest and stomach for any signs of injury but found no signs there, either. "No bones broken," Tara said as she finished her exam. "I don't know…"

"What about that diagnostic spell," Buffy suggested. "The one you used when you found out that I was pregnant."

Tara shook her head, "I don't have what I need for the spell and even if I did, it would take too much time to cast the spell. We need to know what's wrong with her now."

"That stunning spell that Willow cast," Dawn suggested. "That's when she collapsed, before Dante even showed up."

"That shouldn't have affected her," Willow said, defensively. "Once I lifted the spell, she would have returned to normal."

Anya moaned again and her lips moved but no one heard what she said. Xander bent closer to her and said, "What, sweetie, what is it?"

Anya spoke again and this time Spike heard her say, "Baby."

"What?" Xander said. He had also heard what Anya had said and now the color was rapidly draining out of his face. "Did she just say…..?"

Tara quickly asked, "What did she say?"

"She said," Xander said shakily, "'Baby.'"

Tara stared at him for a second and then quickly felt Anya's lower abdomen, "Is she pregnant?"

"I don't know," Xander admitted.

"Yes," Spike said.

"You're sure?" Tara said, still examining Anya.

Spike nodded, "She told me."

"But why.." Xander started to say but Tara interrupted him.

"Did she say how far along she is?"

Spike shook his head, "No."

Tara looked up from Anya and at Xander, who was obviously still trying to process all the information, "I can't find anything, if the baby's alright or not." She looked at Spike, "Could you hear a heartbeat?"

"I don't know," Spike admitted. "Might be too soon…." But he bent over and put his ear directly on Anya's lower abdomen, listening for any sign of a heartbeat. He listened closely for a few minutes and then raised his head. "I don't hear anything but," He shot a glance at Xander. "That might not mean anything. I didn't smell any blood…."

"We need to get her to a hospital," Tara said. "There's nothing we can do here."

Spike looked in the direction of where the van had been. The van was now laying under a large rock and there was no sign of Jonathan or Andrew. They had most likely fled long ago. He could see lights in the distance but no other signs of life. "The Watcher still isn't back," He said, thinking out loud.

"We'll have to walk then," Buffy said. She was tired and sore but now there was no choice. They had to get Anya and both their babies to a doctor.

"Wouldn't moving her…"Xander asked.

"Waiting here would be worse," Tara said. "We'll go carefully but we need to get to a doctor."

Spike got to his feet, took the baby from Buffy and handed him to Dawn, "Make sure he stays warm," He instructed her. Then he reached down and lifted Buffy into his arms. "You okay?" He asked.

Buffy rested her head against his shoulder and said, "I'll be okay, lets just get out of here."

Spike grinned, "Sounds good to me." HE looked over his shoulder and saw Xander was carrying Anya, with Tara standing right beside them. Willow was standing behind them, with an expression of horror on her face. Spike knew that she was remembering Dante's words about a pure sacrifice and her own knowledge of the consequences of a stunning spell.

"Let's go," Spike said. He started walking towards the lights of what he hoped was the nearest town.

They hadn't gone far when they spotted the lights from a car. They continued walking towards it until the lights got bigger and a pick-up truck pulled up next to them.

"Hey," Spike said, walking up to the driver's window. "Can we get a ride..oh it's you. What took you so long?"

"Lovely to see you too, Spike," Giles said. He took in the rest of the group. "Did I miss something?"

Spike opened the door of the pick-up. Xander laid Anya across the backseat. Spike got Buffy and the baby settled in the front seat and then he, Dawn, Willow and Tara climbed into the back of the pickup. Giles didn't have to be told that they needed a doctor and as soon as everyone was settled he turned around and drove as fast as he could towards the town.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Anya and Buffy, along with the baby were both rushed into examining rooms, leaving the rest to wait in the waiting room.

"What happened?" Giles asked.

Spike sank down into a chair, "Let's just say that Dante won't be bothering us anytime soon."

"How?" Giles asked, shocked.

"Long story," Spike snapped. "And I'll tell you sometime about how my mum's necklace saved the world." He glanced down at his hand, now that things had settled a bit he was more aware of the pain in his hand. There was a perfect imprint of the stone burned into his hand. He grabbed a piece of cloth from his pocket and wrapped it around his hand. It would heal.

He had just leaned back against the wall and shut his eyes when he felt someone grab him and throw him up against the wall. "What the bloody hell," Spike yelled.

"She told YOU?" Xander yelled, as he pinned Spike to the wall.


	74. But That's All Gone Now

I'm sorry that I haven't updated recently. Senior year's keeping me busy. Maybe once I have a degree, I'll also have a life!

**Chapter Seventy-Four: That's All Gone Now **

"She told you?" Xander repeated, continuing to pin Spike to the wall. "Why would she tell you?"

"Get off," Spike said, shoving Xander off of him, winching at the pain both in his head and hand.

"You're lying," Xander gasped, pointing at Spike. "She's not..she's…not… and even if she was, she wouldn't have told you. Why would she have told you and not me?"

"Can't think of a single reason," Spike said sarcastically. "Can you?"

"She wouldn't have not told me," Xander insisted. "And I would have know, noticed…." His voice trailed off as he began to remember the past few weeks, and a dozen incidents that he hadn't even paid attention to began to flash rapidly through his mind…Anya's recent mood swings… a few days she'd spent on the couch with what he thought was the flu…the way she'd start to speak, as if she wanted to tell him something and then would stop…..the way that Anya would be asleep when he left for work and then went to bed almost as soon as he came home…it all flashed through his head in a matter of seconds. He took a step back, the color draining from his face.

"Xander?" Giles said, putting his hand on Xander's arm. He looked around. "What happened?"

No one answered him. They were all still in shock. Willow couldn't take her eyes off of the doors where they had wheeled Buffy and Anya, her face wore an expression of shock and horror. Tara stood nearby, watching Willow. Dawn sat curled up in a chair, watching the others.

"What happened?" Giles repeated. He took a deep breath and said, "Spike? What happened?"

"You're supposed to be smart," Spike snapped. "Figure it out."

"Dante's been taken care of," Giles said. "I see that, although you'll have to explain it to me sometime. But uh, what happened to Anya?"

"Stunning spell," Spike said.

"A stunning spell?" Giles said slowly. "But that only has a negative effect on….." His voice trailed off as he recalled Spike and Xander's conversation. He pulled off his glasses and began to wipe them with his shirt.

"You knew," Xander repeated slowly, looking at Spike. "How long have you known?"

"Since the night we got back from Los Angeles," Spike said. "She was angry and blurted it out."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Xander asked. Spike shot him a look. "No, she didn't think that…she didn't take me seriously…."

"She did," Spike said.

Giles looked over at Willow, "What on earth possessed you to cast a spell on Anya, pregnant or not, there was no reason…"

"She wanted to leave," Xander said. "She begged me to leave. She wanted to protect…." His voice trailed off. He looked at Willow, "And you….and you…."

Willow started to speak but Tara broke in, "Whatever we all need to say to each other, lets wait until we know that everyone's okay."

"How can she be okay?" Xander asked. "You've been talking about what happened with those spells for months."

"It's not 100 chance," Tara said. "It's risk but it's not certain. The baby might still be okay…"

"Right.." Xander said, starting to pace around the waiting room. "I mean, we just survived the worst evil ever known…if we can survive that then a baby…" Xander felt something in his head explode and his legs couldn't hold him. Fortunately he was able to land on a chair instead of on the floor.

Everyone was distracted but had they been looking they would have seen a rare look of sympathy for Xander cross Spike's face. Against impossible odds, Buffy and their newborn son were at this moment being checked out to make sure that they were alright. No matter how impossible it seemed, it had all worked out for them. However Anya, whose pregnancy had occurred through perfectly natural means seemed in almost certain danger of losing her baby.

Spike looked around the waiting room and a thought occurred to him. Once they knew if both Buffy and Anya were going to be alright where were they going to go? They had no idea if Sunnydale was even standing, let alone their homes. He spotted a pay phone and went over to it and dialed a number.

"Come on, come on, accept the bloody charges," Spike muttered into the phone.

"Spike?" said the voice at the other end. "That you?"

"Who else would it be?" Spike snapped.

"You guys okay?" Clem asked

"For the most part," Spike said. "How about you?"

"I'm okay," Clem said. "Hid underground until it was all over."

"How about Sunny D?" Spike asked. "It still standing?"

"Parts of it," Clem said. "I guess this guy was working on tearing the place apart and then just stopped and took off."

Spike shut his eyes. Dante must have been looking for Buffy but when he sensed Willow's magic, it had led him right to them. "What's still standing?" He asked.

"Top part of your crypt is gone," Clem said. "The Slayer's house is still standing but most of the downtown area is gone."

"Great", Spike muttered. The downtown area was where both Tara and Willow and Anya and Xander had their apartments. If Clem was right, then both of their apartments were gone.

"Where are you?" Clem asked.

"No idea," Spike said. "Somewhere between Sunnydale and L.A."

"When'll you be home?" Clem asked.

"Not sure," Spike said. "Few things need to be sorted out first. Can you keep an eye on the house until we get back."

"Sure," Clem said.

"And…ah, find your vengeance demon," Spike said. "She might want to check in with Anya."

"Why…" Clem started to say but Spike cut him off.

"Just do it," He looked over towards the ER doors and saw a doctor coming out. "Gotta go." He hung up the phone and hurried over to the Scoobies.

"Anya Harris?" The doctor said, looking around.

"That's me," Xanders said standing up. "I mean, I'm Xander Harris, Anya's my wife." He hesitated and then asked, "Is she okay?"

The doctor nodded, "She'll be alright. She's resting now and should be able to go home in a few hours."

"What about..the…ah…the…" Xander couldn't finish his sentence.

The doctor's face became more sympathetic, "I'm sorry. We did all that we could but unfortunately your wife miscarried."


End file.
